kml, my intention is to speak from my own perspective as a man. Primarily when it comes to dating post divorce. No doubt much of this applies to both men and women. I can't remember how Michele describes it; a teeter totter or something.....Pulling away causes the other person to draw nearer.
Lol. You can tell it’s been awhile. MWD talks about how relationships are like see saws. Usually in the beginning the woman is trying to fix the relationship. When she is finally done and ready to leave then the man wants to fix the relationship. By then it’s too late.
The pull away and draw nearer is the “Pursuit and Distance Dynamic”.
If you haven’t already read “How to be a 3% man” by Corey Wayne
Originally Posted by shotgun The self evaluations and descriptions are often delusional.
Do agree with this one, reading a lot of female profiles! i am finding that a lot of the woman are living in Fantasy land and expecting a perfect man to whisk them off there feet! (knight in shining armour) even the shorter woman want 6 foot and above and athletic men (over 60 years old?)
So Mark first off your Bob date was Dec 2020 so you are no where near ready to be on a dating site and that’s why it’s filled with broken people. You are not ready to date.
So I think most women are ok being alone so they are going to shoot for the stars. I have no issues with someone not willing to settle. That is why the key is to be happy being alone.
So Mark first off your Bob date was Dec 2020 so you are no where near ready to be on a dating site and that’s why it’s filled with broken people. You are not ready to date. . [/quote]
LH i do agree i am not ready for dating yet! i am currently window shopping to see what type of ladies are out there! any contact by women - are always told that i am willing to talk - but won't be dating for a long time! my profile says exactly that. "just because i am on a diet - doesn't mean i cannot look at the menu" just don't order
i am still working on me and getting my D through school
Well if you are on a dating site and you have in your profile “just willing to talk” what type of women are you going to attract. This is why dating apps are so difficult. If you want friends join a meet up group. Dating sites are for DATING!
LH19 yeah I read the book several years ago. Had a lot of brain fog at the time. Truthfully it all seems like a circus act at this point. Probably why I haven't seriously looked for a relationship. I have made a few friends in the process but that too is complicated.
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
So I think most women are ok being alone so they are going to shoot for the stars. I have no issues with someone not willing to settle. That is why the key is to be happy being alone.
BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Say it again for the people in the back, LH.
I agree with kml that if anyone is saying men need to be more firm with women that is a big nope from me. I don't want a man who is a pushover, but I don't want a man "handling" me like I'm a little kid either. Talk to me as an adult and as your equal.
I agree with bttrfly that while what you might not have meant to be offensive in what you said, it came across that way. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely hard to offend, so I wasn't personally offended, but I still think it came across that way. I am a big woman and get called fat and all sorts of other stuff all the time and I have a thick skin and frankly, just don't give a rat's a$$ what others think, but not all heavier women feel that way. As far as women's posts being delusional on dating sites, honey, that street totally runs both ways. I know you don't look at men's profiles, other than your own, but trust me, the men posting are just as delusional. Older, unfit men living in mama's basement wanting a 25 year old with a slim waist and huge boobs and the personality of bubble gum.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Interesting - I don’t recall putting those kinds of requests in my profile back when I was OLD. I do remember asking for a sense of humor and stating that “If you make me laugh so hard the beer squirts out my nose, I just might go home with you”. Otherwise I mostly described myself and my interests. Maybe that’s why I got so many responses.
Interesting that you think athletic men over 60 aren’t a thing. Here in So Cal there’s a lot of them. Not a priority for me as I’m not as athletic as I should be these days, but crazy ExBF is 61 now and still a total gym rat who people always mistook for a retired pro athlete. (We used to go to the gym together and he’d come to the window and wave and make goofy faces when I was in my water aerobics class, much to the delight of the old ladies in the class, as he was a very handsome man). Crazy ExBF is getting a hip replaced soon though.
I echo what KML said. There are a ton of older fit men where I live too. The one’s I avoid are the fanatics. I just think anyone who is spending hours in the gym working out without being a professional athlete or someone training for an ultimate goal like a marathon, is someone that is chasing something (like their youth) or running away (often from themselves). For me, balance is key. Do you take care of yourself in a way that indicates you have a genuine love for yourself? Do you have other interests? Most important...does your love for self extend to love for others or are you judgmental? I’m not easily offended either Shotgun but your post definitely came across that way. You’ve been working a ton on your outer self...maybe now is the time to focus on what’s inside. Just my opinion...for what it is worth.
even the shorter woman want 6 foot and above and athletic men (over 60 years old?)
Mark, I only have 45 minutes of swiping experience in 2021, but so far only 2 of 30 profiles I saw requested man over 6' and both those women are 6'. I get it. They want to be able to wear heels!
We all have things we find attractive. I'd work on why 6' and athletic bothers you. You control your athleticism. You would not believe where I was 6 months ago vs where I am today.
I'm in the male 40+, over 6' (15%), and athletic (20%) demographic. If a woman filters based on that, statistically in the US, she's limited her pool to maybe 3% of men. In a big area that's enough men to be realistic. And she doesn't have to be tall or athletic. To not stay single, she just has to have the attributes us 6'+ athletic men seek.
