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Steve,

Just stop talking and do it. You have pretty much wasted everyones time on this board for the last 6 months. I remember about 5 months ago I said I wasnt going to post to you again because I couldnt help you. But I get sucked in, but thats on me. Try one fuching week without posting on social media like a teenager and going NC. If you can do that then come and update. Lastly Steve, you are not going to win any father of the year awards. Youre not a babysitter watching your kids. Your a dad who spends quality time with them and is a role model. You are there for them you protect them and make sure they are getting a proper education. There is absolutely no easy way through this and you are taking every shortcut possible.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

�Happiness equals reality minus expectations�- Magliozzi
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A good father isnt about going fishing and watching the kids. Its exactly as LH says. A good father protects their kids, teaches them , sets examples and is a role model.

What do you think you are teaching them right now? What are you role modeling? Are you protecting them, emotionally and physically ? Is your primary focus on their well being? Because it seems to be more on your W from where I sit. Whats she thinks about your posts, how they made her mad. ( even thinking that her bad mood had to do with your posts says it all. You have no clue why shes mad( but you are so hyper focus on your posts and how they affect her. And why she can even see them is beyond me)

As yourself those questions as a parent. Answer them truthfully and honestly. Like take the time and write it out. Take the time you would be posting on Media to show the world whatever and answer those questions for yourself. I dont even care to know the answers. But you should.

The last thing ever in this world I would like to do is parental judging. But this is the hardest read ever. I read and I couldnt give 2 sh!ts about your ex, but these kids are caught in the crossfire of the most unhealthy dynamic I have seen in these boards. And they are so far from either of your focus. I have never taken a job so seriously in my life as parenting . Ive messed up, no doubt. But every move I make in this world I ask myself, how will this affect my daughter? What am I teaching her? What am I modeling for her? Am I acting in her best interest? Thats where my intentions always are, even when I do mess up as a parent. And I always strive do better next time and learn from my mistakes

Do you feel you are doing this for your kids? What are you doing to learn from your mistakes? How you carry yourself, interact with your ex, what you allow in your life will have a bearing on the people they will become. Do you feel you are acting in such a way with all of that in mind? I dont even want to hear your answer. I want you to truthfully answer that for yourself

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Originally Posted by Steve_

It was fun, posted up a picture on my snapchat of them at my table with me and the expensive wine I got for the WW date haha


I knew I wasnt making things up.

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My harsh words arent meant to make you feel attacked. Theyre in an attempt to get you to wake up. There are consequences to all of this. And those consequences wont care about anyone feelings.

I understand your addicted to your W. I understand youre still trying to manipulate her back even if its subconscious. What I dont understand is why you dont get that you are a dad regardless of where your kids are.

No one is saying have the courts take them away. But yes missing 13 days of school is a big deal. Your W is actively denying your kids the chance to have a proper education and youve said oh well.

You can choose to live in denial about everything. You dont have to accept or take anyones advice, but you and kids are going to be the ones who get hurt. Especially the kids.




Last edited by JosephS; 03/27/21 01:03 PM.

Me: 37
W: 34
Together 17 years
Married 16 years
5 kids, 17,16,13,12,8
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Ginger the bottle was not in the photo itself, just the glasses in their hand. But I worded it wrong. Not on you on me. By watching kids I meant it was not my day with them, but I watched them for her. I am not going to argue clearly I am not getting this right. I am gonna take a break, take a breath and do as LH recommends. Everything I have done is just showing I cant let go of this. Im kidding myself. Not fooling anyone. I think I need to stop trying to convince you guys and convince myself first. Im gonna take a week and work on it. Honestly at this point I am ready just not been able to actually do it. I get sucked in by stupid games of hers. And I try to tell myself Im making progress but clearly based on what yall have said I have not. I am exhausted of this situation. And I wont quit the board. I do appreciate your time and I read everything you post. But I need to unplug, get away from this discussion, get away from WW and just have some time off from all this. If what you focus on you attract is true. Then focusing on the drama is why Im getting it. I need a reboot. Ill be back hopefully with better news in a week or so. Thanks


T:11
M:10
K: D5, S7
BD: 9/1/20
WW continues to break up and recon with OM.
I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021
Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21.
Glad my D was not busted.
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Just remember Steve you allow yourself to get sucked into her games. You are nothing but plan z right now. Onward and upward!


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Can you block her on social media? If you havent already? And if not... why?


Me (46) H (42)
M:14 T:18, D9 & D11
4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs
9/20 - present: R and piecing
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Steve you are the winner of the quote of the day:

When it comes to relationships, many people project their fantasy of what they want onto romantic prospects, and due to their extreme attraction and strong emotions, they ignore all kinds of red flags, disrespect and incompatibility. This inclination to self-delude is heightened in people who dont think very highly of themselves and those who are ruled by their fears. When you love and value yourself, you only stay involved with people who reciprocate high interest and who treat you the way you want to be treated. The only way to eventually get what you really want is to stick to your ideals and live a life of principle and integrity, discarding those who dont measure up. The right people will help you achieve your grandest goals and dreams, and the wrong people will become obstacles and roadblocks to your success. ~ Coach Corey Wayne


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�Happiness equals reality minus expectations�- Magliozzi
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
Shes beautiful but absolutely psychotic, but some other dude will want her?

Doesnt speak much to the male species

We men are like that, for good or ill. We love a pretty girl.

She may be beautiful, and so are thousands of other women.

Our Steve will prevail as will any man who requires much more than just good looks in a wife.


Me: 44
W: 44
T: 21
M: 19
DS11
DD10
DS3

W left: 01/28/08
Discovered OM: 02/26/08
W back for 9 days: 04/08
W returned 05/21/08
EA/PA - 01/08-07/09
W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
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Ending this thread. When the time comes I will start a new one and link this.

Thanks for being so tough about the BS I was pulling/posting. This has been one of my best weeks since I came here.
Ive done really well. Actually started DBing. And it has nothing to do with WW. I got another week to go with only smart contact. So far I have stuck to it 100%. Only minimal answers and so on. No SM posts, no manipulation or anything else. Just putting my head down and dealing. So far so good. Ill be back in a week if I can keep it going.


T:11
M:10
K: D5, S7
BD: 9/1/20
WW continues to break up and recon with OM.
I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021
Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21.
Glad my D was not busted.
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