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Scott, do you love this woman? Do you (can you) love her unconditionally? Do you have the ability to give her what she wants and needs even if it conflicts with what you want and need?

You felt like sending a text. So you did it. Is this what she needed? Is this what she wanted?


Set her free. Set yourself free.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Good advice from LH and Ready2Change. The next time you feel a need to vent your emotions, try writing the text out first in Notes or Notepad. You won't believe how often that has helped me process my emotions and NOT send a text or send a better one. If you need to, print it out then burn the message.



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Scott, sorry the date caused you to struggle in your moving forward. LH and R2C really said all there is to say. I am sure you've regretted sending the text since, even though it felt like the right thing to do at the time.

Here is the problem: This date rolls around and you look back in regret at the MR ending. She looks back and regrets that the MR got started. You are texting (as LH pointed out) from your perspective on the date. You didn't consider her perspective of the date.

I hope that wasn't hurtful to hear, because it is the truth. Her looking at the marriage in a romantic way has been gone for a long time. You still look back at the MR fondly, and regret that it ended. Try to think about her perspective next time before you hit send.

Small setback. You have good plans to recover! Keep up the good work on the GAL.

Last edited by SteveLW; 06/17/21 06:20 PM.

M(52), W(53),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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Originally Posted by CWarrior
Good advice from LH and Ready2Change. The next time you feel a need to vent your emotions, try writing the text out first in Notes or Notepad. You won't believe how often that has helped me process my emotions and NOT send a text or send a better one. If you need to, print it out then burn the message.


Or here! Type it here and let LH and R2C pick it apart before you send it! I wish more LBSs would do that.


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Originally Posted by SteveLW
Here is the problem: This date rolls around and you look back in regret at the MR ending. She looks back and regrets that the MR got started. You are texting (as LH pointed out) from your perspective on the date. You didn't consider her perspective of the date.

This will change in time when she burns through the anger and resentment. She will look fondly on it again one day.

Originally Posted by ScottyB
I do hope you have a blessed day.


Originally Posted by LH19
I hope you have a blessed day.


I wanted to also point out what one little word does to a sentence.

The word "do" changes your entire attitude to the statement.

I hope you have a blessed day sounds sincere.

I do hope you have a blessed day sounds condescending. After everything you have done to me, I do still hope you have a good day.


M:51 W:46
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“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
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Last edited by job; 06/25/21 01:50 PM. Reason: added link to new thread

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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