It really is crazy how drastically people can change, and how selfish they can become.
I was also villified and it just stunned me because this person used to be kind to me. It took me quite awhile before I quit obsessing about why and how this could happen.
It really is crazy how drastically people can change, and how selfish they can become.
I was also villified and it just stunned me because this person used to be kind to me. It took me quite awhile before I quit obsessing about why and how this could happen.
What are you doing for GAL?
If I didn’t see it with my own eyes, I would not have believed it. I am still obsessing over why and how could this happen. I’m hoping after D I can further detached and my financial sitch would be much clearer. I am better emotionally now, as it takes time. Before it would cause me a pain in my stomach when she slithered out to see Om, now I wish she would go there and stay there.
GAL. Mostly hanging with D18. Today we did litter cleanup as part of her volunteer hours, later on we are cooking together.I am trying maximize the time we have before college. Also Gym, traveling, hanging with friends, reading, that sort of thing.I am trying to get back in the swing of things but I am improving as I am a lot less anxious. TBH, stbxw has been much better at GAL than me. She has a full plate with Om, plus other activities. No time for her daughters, though.
...Ok, so a couple months ago I was intel gathering (snooping) and I came across something that explained a lot. Her journal from when she was 16 to about 24.I couldnt believe it. Parts of it were she is sad because her father abandoned the family, and why her mther could not keep a husband. I never knew any of this before. Most of the stuff from High School to college was about her and her HS boyfriend, who she is still friends with his family. We got an Xmas card from them this year. A lot of the stuff was waiting for HS boyfriend to call, crying when he went on a ski trip for a week, being angry when he caled late, etc. But a lot of it was them having sex, mainly oral sex in his car, he had a VW Beetle. He called it Buggy Ride. And they would break up, and she would cry and he would come back and have sex, then break up again. This started when she was 16. And this broke my empathy meter. One time he asked for a Buggy Ride (he called it that to her face) , and she did not want to, she performed it anyway. She wrote in her journal she didnt want to, but no one ever listens to her. Sad....
Yep, intel confirmed yesterday its HS boyfriend who kust separated from his wife of 27 years and moved out.
Sat night went into cheeseless tunnel and tried to talk to stbxw. She keeps telling kids things and tells them not to tell daddy, putting them in a real spot. But I also aske her what the story is on why we are getting divorced. She say we both have different goals and values. Yeah, mine is we should not sleep with other people.
Well, guess who OM (or at east one of them) is...
From a prior post.
...Ok, so a couple months ago I was intel gathering (snooping) and I came across something that explained a lot. Her journal from when she was 16 to about 24.I couldnt believe it. Parts of it were she is sad because her father abandoned the family, and why her mther could not keep a husband. I never knew any of this before. Most of the stuff from High School to college was about her and her HS boyfriend, who she is still friends with his family. We got an Xmas card from them this year. A lot of the stuff was waiting for HS boyfriend to call, crying when he went on a ski trip for a week, being angry when he caled late, etc. But a lot of it was them having sex, mainly oral sex in his car, he had a VW Beetle. He called it Buggy Ride. And they would break up, and she would cry and he would come back and have sex, then break up again. This started when she was 16. And this broke my empathy meter. One time he asked for a Buggy Ride (he called it that to her face) , and she did not want to, she performed it anyway. She wrote in her journal she didnt want to, but no one ever listens to her. Sad....
And...
Later, HS boyfriend comes back to town with new fiancee, she has sex in the car with him. Then HS boyfriend (still engaged, but new fiancee) returns to his job in another city, she goes there for a week, stays in his place, and has sex with him.
HS boyfriend for years does this and W is in full pursuit. Calls to him, letters to him and SIL, etc. They are meant to be with each other. HS boyfriend at one time says they are done, but will set her up with one of his friends, and they can all hang out.
Yep, intel confirmed yesterday its HS boyfriend who just separated from his wife of 27 years and moved out. The guy that kept her as a side piece and dumped her 4 times.
Their conversation was disgusting. Talk total Sh** on me and other LBW. No empathy for us, the children. only empathy is for themselves. LBW cries and HS boyfriend is mad because she is making him uneasy.
Get this STBXW found the tracker I put in the car, my car. She has a wand that detects them. Nothing like a prepared cheater.
One thing I've learned in my 2 sitches (12 years apart), is the OP DOES NOT MATTER. Could be the next door neighbor, could be the man in the moon. We LBSs fixate on the OP and like to let them be the manifestation of all of our grief, anger, resentment. After all, we hate the OP, but still love our WS.
Fact is that if it wasn't HS BF, it would have been someone else. In my first sitch, my W's EAP was a BF from Jr. High School. Her second one 12 years later was some loser unemployed, once D'd, excon several states, and 900 miles away that she met through an online singing app. The OP doesn't matter.......
Last edited by SteveLW; 03/15/2107:25 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Ah....... the old high school boyfriend to bring back her youth. Nick I hate to break the bad news to you that your W is a kook and was likely never faithful to you. Once the dust settles you will see that she did you a favor.
Ah....... the old high school boyfriend to bring back her youth. Nick I hate to break the bad news to you that your W is a kook and was likely never faithful to you. Once the dust settles you will see that she did you a favor.
Yeah, could be but I dont know. We used to do everything together and she always dressed down. Now in affair mode shes always dressed up. I know when she is meting her man she always has perfume on. If not, no perfume. ut she is a kook.
So they found the tracker and noticed i took it out the next day. OM said I probably felt remorse for arguing with her the night before. It was so odd hearing her blaming me for everything, and just being nasty.
Stbxw went to visit D21 at college. I simply said tell her I said Hi, and drive safe. Well, STBXWstarts teling OM, "Why do I have to tell her hi, he could drive up whenever he wants, and what does drive safe mean?
So she forgot her wallet and cals me at the house to see if its there. It is. STBXW wants D18 to meet her halfway back. D18 is bathroom with monthly visitor, so I say I'llbring it. (I know cake). Then they mock me on the phone , wow what a martyr, Nick to the rescue , ha ha ha. I see her giver her the wallet. Then they call each other again. "How did the exchange go?"WTF like I was going to cap her or something. She has panted me as this aggresive monster, and I feel I have displayed remarkable restraint for someone whose wife is in a open affair. She is still pi@@ed I called her a cheating wh***.
The only interactions we have are unavoidable ones. I work to arrange her schedule so there will be days when we dont even see each other.
The funny thing is, her and OM are way more interested in what Im doing. STBXW thought there was another tracker on the car, because I was in the garage too much, and I wasnt getting anything out of the refrigerator there. They talk about how many times i walk the dog, everything. Every word I say is over analyzed.
STBXW says she's a wreck because she's afraid of me, and I guess she's been paranoid about the car for a wile because the first time i did anything they found the tracker.
I am going to go in and out of the garage all the time now because I know it makes them paranoid. I'll check the oil everday so they can look in the engine compartment for phantom trackers.
Oh, and talk about gas lighting. We have a key under the flowerpot on the front porch. I tried it on the front door and it didnt work. So I ask stbxw about it and she says I always had the key because I changed the lock. Which makes no sense because. It worked for a year. So I'm thoroughly confused until I hear Stbxw telling OM she snuck out the front door because I was sleeping on the couch which is near the garage, which they talk bout. STBXW left light on in her room so I wouldn't know she wasn't there. So stbxw swapped out the keys, and has the good key because she cant take a chance of me waling up and seeing if the door is unlocked and locking it. IDK why she snuck out but if OM is coming here to pick her up I have a probem with that.
Oh, and when i brought her her wallet I snooped and foud the card key for the South beach Resort they stayed in. So Im going to stay their with my daughters just so they can say, "what does he know?
In summary, OM and stbxw analyze what I say, what I do, when I walk the dog , what time I get up, what time i go to bed, where i sleep, what I'm wearing, my mood. Thats a criminal mindset.
