Still feeling good. I really think that I had a mental dropping of the rope. So much so, when I came home for lunch, I saw his truck outside and I was surprised. I had not thought of him all morning.
Today, I woke up and I feel amazing. I had my IC by the phone and when she asked how I was doing and I said "great" she even responded "really?" I can say, maybe there was a further dropping of a mental rope, but I feel good.
Love it!
Reinforce those feelings and thoughts. Let them strengthen that belief within yourself.
Originally Posted by PLC
Anyway, anyone out there that is struggling today, take a deep breath. You will be ok, I know I will.
Yes, you will!
Doing great PLC.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
I still have been feeling pretty good. H has been status quo for the most part with his behavior. I was brought bread again, and that is always appreciated.
One thing happened yeaterday that confused me, but I was happy about:
D was out taking a walk and H came into the house after being out for a while. Without D there, I assumed he would just go into the bedroom and shut the door, so I did not expect that when I came into the den he was standing there, he had a big smile on his face and said "hi" then showed me his leg that he got tattooed. He has always said he would not get one, but honestly, after this MLC, I am not surprised. I told him it was very cool. (It had to do with his racing hobby) He opened up about where he went how long it took, he was chatty for him. I said D will be surprised. H said "I saw her walking, I am going to go show her" I asked, "Do you mind if I come too?" he said no, and then he offered that we should walk the dogs. So we did! Nothing exciting and we did not find D. So when we came home I mentioned, I was surprised that he did not get it on his back and he ALREADY GOT ONE a while ago. He showed me, and I like it and said, "wow, you are just full of secrets" I don't think he got the message, but I had to say it. I am just thrilled that it was not a flag of the OW country or her name. (maybe those are hidden). Once we were done chatting, he went back into the room. When D came home, I went to the door and knocked and he came out to show her, mentioned a side convo that he and I had to her. Once the convo was over, he went back into the room and left later for food. I know that this is not anything remotely that I can say one thing or another about his behavior. But I will say, this was the most he voluntarily has spoken to me and seeking me out. The whole time I was getting the dog leashes, I was silently praying to be myself and not to question him on why a tattoo now. Believe me, if I could suspend time and gather my thoughts, I would have. I think all in all, it went well. I exect nothing today and thats ok.
OMG. I could just imagine him beaming all proud of his new art. And then him excitedly going off to find daughter to show her. Most unsuspected isn’t it?
Glad you had a nice walk together. He even suggested walking the dogs. And then he told you about a second tattoo on his back. What an interesting day.
You did perfect by the way. Validating and being nonjudgemental gave him the opportunity to open up and tell you all about it.
Good for you. Keep your expectations dialled to zero. In a few days he could by upset again. Or maybe not.
You performed and reacted so very well. You are in control of yourself! So proud of you. In truth, a tattoo on my XW would probably yield a remark from me. Lol. I’m going to use your example if/when she ever does that. Well, hopefully I will.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
Believe me, it took a lot of restraint to not say anything regarding that tattoo.
I am actually proud of myself. Old me would have asked why and how much. New me just complimented and let it drop. I know that it is a definite 180 from past behaviors, and it is starting to feel very natural.
If your XW ever shows up with a tattoo, I am sure you will do ok.
If your XW ever shows up with a tattoo, I am sure you will do ok.
Didn't you know? It comes in the kit they get when they order the basic MLC package online
My ex was very anti-tattoo even though I have a couple plus one that was painfully and expensively removed.
She got one at the beginning of her "crisis" to commemorate the love she has for the sister she hated for pretty much her entire life and then I was told another one to express how much she adored her children that she essentially abandoned and betrayed.
Yay!
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I think the kids told me my ex had gotten a tattoo a while back too. Typical surfer boy cultural appropriation - I think it was the kind of dolphin tattoo that Polynesian navigators get to commemorate their journeys. On a white guy of German extraction. Whatever.
Andrew- I seriously laughed out loud when I read the line from you that a tattoo is part of the basic MLC package. Yep!
KML, that is too funny. I at least can understand the hobby link for my Hs tattoo. H posted a picture of it on social media, so he’s pretty proud of it.
Believe me, it took a lot of restraint to not say anything regarding that tattoo. I am actually proud of myself. Old me would have asked why and how much. New me just complimented and let it drop. I know that it is a definite 180 from past behaviors, and it is starting to feel very natural.PLC
Good for you. It feels like a victory, doesn't it? You are doing very well PLC!
Me(45)EXH(44) M:15 T:18, S19, S16 & S16 04/19-02/20 ILYB & OW1 12/20-08/22 OW2 (+pregnant-his child) 03/22-Divorce official 06/22-08/23 Reconnecting 09/23-possible back with OW2
