She suspected something was up when her husband didn't even bother to call and say "I'm happy you're free."
Wow, that's cold. I mean, I could understand after a couple of years giving up on her ever returning and moving on, but he was one of the most meaningful connections in her life, and he "didn't bother to call"?!
I know, right?! I thought she was incredibly gracious in her public statement about him under the circumstances.
Nothing much is happening with X. He’s had the parenting plan paperwork for two months and done nothing. I suppose he could be reviewing it with a lawyer, but he hasn’t had one this whole time and I don’t really see him forking out to pay for one now given we are in agreement on everything. But who knows.
He still manages to be a pest in small ways. Yesterday afternoon when S3 got back from two hours with his dad (with a scraped elbow from falling off a shopping trolley, natch) he told me "Dad said you don't like him". I'm annoyed at how inappropriate it is to triangulate with a three-year old for sympathy. Once again, deflecting responsibility for his actions. It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t intentional, that kind of statement will influence S3’s opinion of me and my decisions.
I just said “Dad broke a promise that was very special to me and that’s why we are not friends”.
The man is pathologically incapable of putting his son first.
Yup, that's what emotional immaturity looks like!! I can't even fathom how to explain things like this to a three year old. Would it be too straightforward to answer, "Yup he is right, I don't like him." ? lol.
S3 is a smart little cookie, I think he picked up what I was putting down!
Last week my L emailed to say the parenting plan had been signed by X. I go in this week to sign my parts and then it will be filed with the court. It's a bittersweet feeling. More protection and more certainty for all of us, but less time with S3 for me. He deserves that time with his dad though and I have no qualms about it.
I will have one night a week childfree and three weekend days a month. So much free time Thinking of joining an adult swim squad for fitness or playing trombone again in the local concert band. I've forgotten what it's like to have hobbies outside the home. It's been survival mode since S3 was born.
Transitioning to the new custody schedule has been... challenging.
I sent an email at the start of the month to make sure we were on the same page about the transition-- accommodating prior engagements, organising any swaps required for special occasions, confirming pickup times and procedures etc. It was well-received with a co-operative response so I was feeling hopeful.
First midweek dinner... he didn't comply with the agreement regarding return of belongings. Sneered and told me to calm down when I politely asked him to return S3's things.
First sleepover... refused to handover S3 unless I met him at the front door, despite the agreement stating that changeovers take place at the kerb.
This week... we swapped the midweek dinner due to a family event on my side. He informed me (without asking if it suited) he was keeping him overnight to make up for missed time. Returned him 45 minutes late in the morning.
Next, I'm bracing myself to arrange the swap for Mother's Day in two weeks' time.
14 years and 9 months left of this...
Ending on a positive note, S3 is doing really well with the transition. He's talking about his dad more often in conversation, not saying he misses him or anything, but mentioning things he said or did. Jetskiing, going on bushwalks, out for dinner. It seems X is pulling out all the stops Hopefully he is trying to establish some kind of routine over there as well.
Scout, any idea what's triggering this behavior--e.g., insisting on front-door inside of curbside pickups when you two previously negotiated curbside pickups? It sounds mighty frustrating, especially keeping S3 an extra 45 minutes without your agreement. Maybe take deep breaths and consider what matters and what doesn't. Let go of the bits that don't matter. It sounded like the new schedule was overall a win for you.
Thinking of joining an adult swim squad for fitness or playing trombone again in the local concert band. I've forgotten what it's like to have hobbies outside the home. It's been survival mode since S3 was born.