Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 7 of 11 1 2 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 4,227
Likes: 63
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 4,227
Likes: 63
Originally Posted by DnJ

Originally Posted by CanBird
I feel SO confident at times, but get flustered and feel... well stupid. Okay, that's the wrong thing to say! I'm not very experienced when it comes to negotiations. Especially my house! THAT"S HUGE!! Why do I feel like this man has control over me? Maybe because I allow myself to think that. Like I'm coming against an opponent that usually outwits me. I do feel like I've come along way. I've just got to write down some points, and practice my preach. You know, like you do before a job interview. Role play... ..

By the way, when I go into an interview, I am who I am. I do not role play. Be well prepared and be yourself. In this situation, be your intellectual business self and get the deal done. You can let out those emotions after.

When I do presentations I like to do up a script with all my key points outlined just like you describe that you've done. That way when I inevitably get pulled off track, I have that to fall back on and to make sure they get covered.

Think of it as a business meeting vs role play perhaps ....


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
Yes, definitely discuss it in front of his mom, she may be your ally in this process. Maybe even have the discussion with her in the next room if possible? I just have the feeling he won't be quite as unreasonable with his mom in earshot.

CanBird #2917601 04/09/21 07:08 PM
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 715
C
CanBird Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 715
D4 is enjoying her time with her dad & gm. I'm catching up on things and barely doing anything fun. IC session this afternoon. It'll be my first one. Still attempting to get exH agree on a moment to discuss the house. I'm tired of waiting for him.


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
CanBird #2917602 04/09/21 07:14 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
I am glad that D4 is enjoying her time with her dad and gm. She'll have a lot to talk about when she is back home and hopefully some very good memories to reflect back on when they are gone once again.

Good luck w/the IC this afternoon. I'm sure you'll find the right moment to get your xh to sit down to discuss the house. Do you think he's avoiding you because he knows you want to discuss this issue? Sometimes they don't want to discuss separating property, etc., because it is the last thread to the person that they walked away from. It's difficult to understand how their minds work...but some do think this way. I hope and pray that a time should open up for that discussion this weekend.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
CanBird #2917603 04/09/21 07:26 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
Ask H in front of his mom.

kml #2917607 04/09/21 07:51 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 4,227
Likes: 63
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 4,227
Likes: 63
Originally Posted by kml
Ask H in front of his mom.
Oooh - accountability to a higher authority - you play dirty ....


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
CanBird #2917609 04/09/21 08:58 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
In fact, ask XMIL in front of him - "Hey, XMIL, exH and I have some paperwork to deal with so that I can buy him out of the house - what's a good time for him and me to do that and you to entertain granddaughter while we do? Maybe you could (bake cookies, swim in the pool, whatever around the house) while we do that. "

CanBird #2917613 04/09/21 10:05 PM
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 715
C
CanBird Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 715
Sunday works....FINALLY he has agreed to a day. I've only been asking since Tuesday when they landed. Now just waiting on confirmation of place and time. For me, I don't care. Suggested here at the house in the afternoon. I will have a friend with me. My previous attempts have been made with MIL within ear shot, and I've also had a conversation with her about my intentions. exH has just been making excuses or skirting around the subject with other things that he has to take care (like his taxes).

So exH also mentioned in his text that he wanted do some work on the 2nd vehicle, incase I need to drive it. What? Interesting.

Stay tuned.

*ps- letter is drafted up & mobile notary is on speed dial.*


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
CanBird #2917619 04/10/21 12:29 AM
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 715
C
CanBird Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 715
Time and location confirmed. (See above)

IC session in 45 mins.

Pedicure done this morning.

Heart rate normal.


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
CanBird #2917621 04/10/21 01:01 AM
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 4,645
Likes: 472
D
DnJ Offline
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 4,645
Likes: 472
Hi Can

Yay!

Date, time, and place all set.

You know what you are after, what your goals are. Keep XH and the conversation from getting too far off track.

Originally Posted by CanBird
Heart rate normal.

Yes! (Fist pump)

D


Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.
Page 7 of 11 1 2 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard