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Joined: May 2019
Posts: 288
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BenB Offline OP
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Thank you Steve and ovrnbw,

I really didn't realize I was dropping a bomb at the time. I thought her friend was saying this because I had told XW in the beginning of July 2019 that I don't want to be in a relationship with her anymore and I would like for her to move out. Even though I agree she cheated as we still lived together and were married, I have always made sure I don't use that word in front of her since should would most likely get defensive and claim I had broken up with her a few months prior.

XW knows she did something wrong and I know she felt guilt about it. But I'm glad I had this short interaction with her friend and it was a great night out all in all.

ovrnbw - I have been doing the ice bathing every weekend now. More and more of my friends are joining me. I have never seen anything like it. No matter how bad your day is, once you get into that water, your mind clears up immediately. I try to meditate once a day but when I'm in that water, it's all I can think about. And the best thing - it's free!

I was fearing the spring and summer but fortunately there as some spa places here where you can do ice bathing indoor for a small fee.


Me: 38
Stbxw: 35
No kids
Mini bd: February 6, 2019
ONS confirmed Sept 7, 2019
Told her to move out: September 8, 2019
W moved out: September 28, 2019
Divorce filed by me: September 23, 2019
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 4,582
Likes: 63
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Hi Ben,

Great update! That encounter was hilarious and so glad your life is going well free of her drama. That her best friend doesn't know, means it's unlikely she's done much self-work to change and grow.

Originally Posted by Ben
Just remember never to do it alone if you are outdoor and practice your breathing technique. Biggest mistake is to get out of the water before your get your breathing under control.

I'm going to look into this ice bathing! I have a shared pool I use with a 3-month season. I use a wetsuit to cheat and get a few more months out of it. Never thought of using it for cryotherapy.



Joined: May 2019
Posts: 288
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BenB Offline OP
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Thank you CW! And you're right, I don't think she's worked on herself at all. It's still all about her and her happiness.

One thing about ice bathing is that it's highly addictive! It's now become such a trend here that people are complaining that it's all they ever see on anyone's Instagram smile I hate freezing but I decided I would be open to new experiences once XW moved out so I pushed myself to say yes when a friend asked if I wanted to join the first time and that was it! Now I look forward to it every week. Good luck and let me know how it was when you try it!


Me: 38
Stbxw: 35
No kids
Mini bd: February 6, 2019
ONS confirmed Sept 7, 2019
Told her to move out: September 8, 2019
W moved out: September 28, 2019
Divorce filed by me: September 23, 2019
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 574
Likes: 5
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Had a swim today.
I have a sauna by the sea in my area so that helped wink
Seriously, also really like the cold/ice bath. So invigorating!
Did a couple without sauna during the fall.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
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