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DnJ #2913414 01/25/21 01:48 AM
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I feel like I just gulped in a fresh breath of air. (((DnJ)))

It's good to see beauty from ashes. Thanks for sharing.


ME47 XH44, S28 S24 S19

8/17-BD
IHS: 1/17-2/19
D FILED (ME): 7/19
D FINAL: 10/20
M23 T25
OW CONFIRMED: 01/21

Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
DnJ #2913505 01/26/21 03:33 AM
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Hello All

Another fine day. Cold and clear and snow. Iíve shovelled more this week than all winter so far. Lol.

Own - Very nice to hear about your glorious day. Son choosing to spend time with Mom instead of friends is special indeed. He knows the days are short as well.

Iíve found peace and joy in watching my kids grow up from me. Post-child rearing is pretty nice. Itís the next chapter, doing puzzles by myself. smile Hopefully the restriction will be lifted soon, Iíd like to have an actual visit with them all.


scout - Iím glad my thoughts resonated with you. And I appreciate the kind words.


Hope - The past few days have had plenty of cold fresh clean air. The kind that feels somehow cleansing with its icy bite. So cold it almost makes oneís lungs hurt with deep breaths.


Lol. I planned on posting a bit. However, I may have had to much fresh air. Itís 9:30 pm and Iím dog tired. Oh, those silky soft sheets are going to feel so good.

Take care friends.

D


Now: Me54 XW51 S25 S23 S21 D20

Oct 8/17-BD, Moves in w/OM, Leaves Kids
Me49 W46 S20 S19 S16 D15
M26 T29
Dec 9/17-Legal Separation
Oct 3/18-W Files
Apr 6/19-Divorced

Love the Sinner, Forgive the Sin.
DnJ #2913616 01/27/21 12:44 PM
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Good Morning

I walked down the staircase to the quiet awaiting kitchen with the moon streaming its silvery light through the eastern windows. There was a coldness down the stairs. Across the kitchen and into the entrance room, and the bath where I put in my daily eye drops. The silent auxiliary wall heaters in these two outer rooms were whirling away, a sign that something was up.

I made coffee and toast, got out a plate, knife, glass, and cup. Set the table and checked the outside thermometer; following my well-worn routine. I swear there is probably a path on the floor. smile

Looking out the windows, finding the red liquidís level. Where is it? Downward, lower, lower - OMG! Itís -34C!

I confirm with the online forecast and find the windchill is -45C. Brrrrrrrr. Such a change from my cozy warm bed. Lol

Breakfast is ate. Coffee is drank. A travel mug is packed and I set out towards the city and my hour commute. I need to rework some of todayís plans for the guys. I do hope nothing breaks down. These are dangerous temperatures and outdoor work will be today reserved for only the most urgent of needs. Thereís plenty to do indoors.

Have a great day.

D


Now: Me54 XW51 S25 S23 S21 D20

Oct 8/17-BD, Moves in w/OM, Leaves Kids
Me49 W46 S20 S19 S16 D15
M26 T29
Dec 9/17-Legal Separation
Oct 3/18-W Files
Apr 6/19-Divorced

Love the Sinner, Forgive the Sin.
DnJ #2913617 01/27/21 12:47 PM
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how is that even possible, to be that cold???!!!!!


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16

If we don't look into the darkness we won't find the light.

Walk along the side of the road with a bag & you're gonna end up with a lot of trash!
DnJ #2913619 01/27/21 01:09 PM
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Originally Posted by bttrfly
how is that even possible, to be that cold???!!!!!
Google The Rodeo Song by Garry Lee and The Showdown.

I remember - more than a few years ago on an April evening I believe - flying back to Toronto from a nickel / copper mine I worked at up by James Bay. The guy next to me was flying down from Baffin Island. We killed ourselves laughing when the flight attendant apologized to us for making us get out in "the cold".

I've never been in the "real" North - still always south of 60 and the tree line. But on those gloriously cold days the air is so very crisp and the sky is the most amazing shade of blue.
Originally Posted by DnJ
I need to rework some of todayís plans for the guys. I do hope nothing breaks down. These are dangerous temperatures and outdoor work will be today reserved for only the most urgent of needs. Thereís plenty to do indoors.
Stay safe and make sure your block heater cord is handy. How does the Prius handle the cold? One thing that has put me off going electric or even hybrid is how much power would need to be diverted for cabin heat. On the other hand the old VW Bug my parents had didn't have a heater but relied on 4 kids and 2 adults inside for warmth.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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Originally Posted by AndrewP

I remember - more than a few years ago on an April evening I believe - flying back to Toronto from a nickel / copper mine I worked at up by James Bay. The guy next to me was flying down from Baffin Island.


A copper mine I worked in up by a frigidly cold bay in the far north?!

Whenever Andrew and DnJ drop these little details about facing the elements, digging trenches, installing electricity across the tundra, ripping off a roof to install some new timberframing, lifting cars off innocent bystanders, hunting for dinner, etc., Gerda's jaw drops. It has been a long time since I knew a manly man. (Turns out H was not one by a long shot.)

Last edited by job; 01/28/21 03:27 PM. Reason: fixed quote

I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
DnJ #2913705 01/28/21 02:49 AM
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Hello All

Home again. Itís warmed. Only -28C. Lol

Covid restriction have lifted a bit so hair cuts are back on the menu. (LOTR smile ) I called and they are booking into next week, but had a cancellation for 4:45pm. I grabbed that, and within minutes of arriving had a nifty new #4 brush cut.

After losing what seemed like pounds of hair, I tried and failed to purchase a new parka and running shoes while at the mall. It seems that store is not quite up to speed, as the sales guy had next to no knowledge and seemly had better things to do than serve me. Oh well.

Having wasted around 20 minutes in what turned out to be a fruitless endeavour for shoes and a smaller coat, I figured Iíd pick up fast food for supper. Being home late enough. Well, fast food was a misnomer tonight. Burger King took, 25 minutes. There was four cars in the drive thru line when I showed up. Thatís all. 22 minutes to get those four cars ordered and through. Sigh. Iíd have been half way home the time I got my burger.

It was rather tasty. And yummy fries. Of course hungry make food taste better. Lol

Arrived home and left the warm environment that is my car. Put on a hoodie under my parka, replaced my cap with a toque, and found some gloves. Took the dog food out to the tail wagging eager to see me happy dogs. Poured the food into the bucket and we went for our walk.

The -28C seemed a lot colder. The -40C windchill is cold. But thereís something else. Something Iím missing...what is it...oh yeah hair! Lol. Apparently my shaggy locks had pretty reasonable insulating properties when compared to a quarter inch of hair. I snugged up the hood on my parka and continued onward.

Dogs ran around. I chased them a bit down the dark driveway. The air is so cold, it hurts your teeth when gasping it in. Hahaha. I walked to end of the lane and back. Stars shinning beautifully. Itís really a clear night. Perfect for star gazing and hypothermia.

One trip up and down the lane. Dogs happily back in the pen. And me back in my warm house. Pealing off the layers and finding my couch to relax in to.


bttrfly - Yes thatís cold. Colder than a freezer is. It has been an incredibly unseasonable warm winter with this being only the fifth or sixth day of really cold. Usually we have months of this kind of weather. Iím all soft and a wuss, not hardened to the cold. smile lol


Andrew - You bet. Cold brings such a clear atmosphere and the most bluest of skies.

The Prius starts excellent. I actually do not have a block heater. I do believe there is decompression valving that helps the starting. The standard 0W16 engine oil is of high fluidity and allows the engine to turn over with ease in the extreme cold.

In my gas/electric hybrid, cabin heat is provided by engine coolant. There is a thermos-like storage in the coolant system which circulates hot coolant through the heater core while the engine is off, like at a red light. Of course all the coolant pumps and steering pumps and a/c compressors and such are electrically driven and not from the engine belt. The cabin is quite comfortable. Set the temperature on the digital thermostat and let it do itís thing. The heated seats and heated steering wheel are awesome as well. So nice on cold hands and cheeks. Lol.


Gerda - Iím going to pop a bottom puffing out my chest for you. Lol. Who am I kidding, Iím a T-shirt guy. And my work shirts are pull over, not button up. Arc flash clothing has no openings like seams and such; the intense heat from an electrical arc would easily burn whatís under the buttoned portion of a shirt - my belly. Lol

A manly man. smile Oh, there goes my chest again.


The measure of a man.

A man is measured by his unshakeable integrity; the strength of his convictions; his compassion for others; and his ability to admit he is wrong while always striving to do right. A man is measured by his passions, the love in his heart, the depth of his soul, and his joy of life.

Manhood isnít about outgrowing the boy. A man is measured against that very yardstick - the boy inside. Manhood is about finding that boy, reclaiming him, and all his passions, zest, and joy for life. A man is just a boy in a bigger body, with bigger muscles, and a bigger heart. And maybe a little wiser.

Not to be too forward my friend. You may feel free to pass that along to S15 if you wish. He must be close to driving by now, and becoming his own man. Us boys need a heading to look to. Someone and something to aspire too and emulate. I feel for him, his need to know, and to confirm he is on, the good path.

D


Now: Me54 XW51 S25 S23 S21 D20

Oct 8/17-BD, Moves in w/OM, Leaves Kids
Me49 W46 S20 S19 S16 D15
M26 T29
Dec 9/17-Legal Separation
Oct 3/18-W Files
Apr 6/19-Divorced

Love the Sinner, Forgive the Sin.
DnJ #2913711 01/28/21 05:38 AM
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"Most people get married for love. They are in love and therefore get married. But why? You already have the love. What does marriage do? Why do you need to get married? You already have the love.

People marry for love. They should and need to marry the person, not the love. Love is the icing on the cake; it is not the cake.

A marriage should be based upon a solid respectful relationship, which both parties want to, and vow to, upon hold and strengthen.

Love is a thing. Marrying for love is no better than marrying for money. Marry the person not the thing. Vow to the person not the feelings you have.

That distinction, I believe, allows people to weather the storms of life. Love ebbs and flow, has its up and down, yet the person remains. Marry the person. (This is some of the reason I am where I am. Have the beliefs I do. Make the choices I do.)"

>>>YES!!!


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
DnJ #2913754 01/28/21 03:08 PM
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I agree with all this too. But I also believe marriage is a sacrament. That means that engaging in it is a way to stay close to God and to figure out his will for your life, especially when you engaging in the sacrament goes against your will.

If our MLCers kept following the sacrament even when their will said, "It's all your husband's fault. Stand up at Thanksgiving and throw all these people away and run off with the Rotten Egg Man" or when their will said, "Take all the lemonade money out of your daughter's wallet because your wretched wife will not stop controlling money that is rightfully yours," we would not be in this boat. Our MLCers would be struggling with all their might against their own wills but they would be choosing the sacrament. They can't get the best beauty and joy out of the marriage that way, but at least they can be on a path to figure out what God's will is for their lives, and it always starts with surrendering your own.

So I agree with all you are saying and wish I had understood that back when I was 24 and making the bad choice I made, but I also think that if you see marriage as something beyond either of you, that is how it can heal both of you and call you to your highest self. I am sure that standing for our marriages (I am talking about DnJ and Gordie and me at the moment) helped us become our best selves. Even if the outcome is not the restoration of those marriages, trying to follow the sacrament seems to me to have been the required path, at least for me, to become who God wants me to be.

Here is how CS Lewis puts it --

Now, everyone who has been married in a church has made a public, solemn promise to stick to his (or her) partner til death.... As Chesterton pointed out, those who are in love have a natural inclination to bind themselves by promises.... And of course, the promise, made when I am in love and because I am in love, to be true to the beloved as long as I live, commits me to being true even if I cease to be in love. ....A promise must be about things that I can do, about actions; no one can promise to go on feeling in a certain way. He might as well promise never to have a headache or always to feel hungry."

For more on this, check out my favorite -- CS Lewis Doodle, the one called, "On Sexual Morality." It's about vows, not sex, though that obviously comes into it.

I love that I know two men that I can even have this conversation with! You are good salt!

Last edited by Gerda; 01/28/21 03:10 PM.

I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
DnJ #2913780 01/28/21 05:10 PM
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Burger King? Get an impossible burger meal with onion rings and zesty sauce next time. A guilty pleasure. Oh. And a Dr. Pepper. And some jalepeno poppers.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16

If we don't look into the darkness we won't find the light.

Walk along the side of the road with a bag & you're gonna end up with a lot of trash!
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