It hurt me to the core to think that my wife just decided to become a cheating ____. It annihilated my pride feeling like I was not good enough for her. It crushed my soul when I found out what kind of douchey guy she chose as her OM. It destroyed my self-esteem knowing that the world was watching and wondering how I failed as a man.
But hey, a midlife crisis? That sounds like a condition that someone can snap out of!
Yes, I think I see what you mean. However, I wouldn't say they just snap out of MLC, either. Some can last for years. But I get what you mean about it being a condition.
So, when I try to imagine how I would feel if things were reversed and my H had an A with some piece if trash.......it does begin to make a little better sense. It's as if they are saying you were such a sorry spouse, even a piece of trash would be an improvement.
Thanks, Joe!
I actually felt a little better abut myself when I found out 2 months after bomb drop because I realized that the reasons the marriage was failng was because of her actions. I own up 50% of the problems in the marriage, but the decisiion to cheat means that you are a bad person.
I actually felt a little better abut myself when I found out 2 months after bomb drop because I realized that the reasons the marriage was failng was because of her actions. I own up 50% of the problems in the marriage, but the decisiion to cheat means that you are a bad person.
Big of you to own up to 50%.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
WW and AP have been getting letters from someone sent to them! saying what i don't know. they are not being sent by me or D as i have asked D! WW has decided that they must be from me! i can only guess that they are not kindness letters - but its the fact i am taking the blame she has not told me about them but MIL has without mentioning the contents!
Now got MIL and WW believing thats its me sending letters to PA and suggesting that they are homophobic and hate letters and that he will be involving the Police!
WW has seen these letters and shared them with MIL & FIL and now they are against me as well! is this the spew that posters on here say about!
Now got MIL and WW believing thats its me sending letters to PA and suggesting that they are homophobic and hate letters and that he will be involving the Police!
A police investigation shouldn't be a big concern--you have a jury to protect you if you're not guilty. Hate speech has harsh penalties, so if they find the culprit--your WW, AP, one of their APs--they're in for it. You seem very interested in events--even doing your own mini-investigation by asking your D--but this is your WW's roller-coaster. As much as you can, let her ride it, while you do your own thing. Being very interested and very defensive could even look suspicious compared to leaving it at, "No, it wasn't me." if asked.
Originally Posted by markw
WW has seen these letters and shared them with MIL & FIL and now they are against me as well!
They usually do pick their blood relative in the end. I get losing MIL and FIL is yet another loss beyond WW, even if common. Be kind to yourself as you grieve all you've lost.
Homophobia and "hate letters" aren't crimes. I'm sure the cops have better things to do. So should you.
Good stuff. I just Wikipedia'd "hate speech laws". Interesting--in the UK it's illegal, in the US it's not. In the US it only enhances existing crimes. Even less for Mark to worry about. Her circus, her monkeys.
A police investigation shouldn't be a big concern--you have a jury to protect you if you're not guilty. Hate speech has harsh penalties, so if they find the culprit--your WW, AP, one of their APs--they're in for it. You seem very interested in events--even doing your own mini-investigation by asking your D--but this is your WW's roller-coaster. As much as you can, let her ride it, while you do your own thing. Being very interested and very defensive could even look suspicious compared to leaving it at, "No, it wasn't me." if asked.
sorry hate sh*t being thrown at me and especially when i didn't do it! only asked D just in case, didn't think for one moment it was her.
i have my own theory where it has come from! but if i get asked it will be it wasn't from me! i am not going to be doing her detective work for her - its her problem not mine.
i do not have to answer to her, she is a WW living away from me
WW has come to my house and moved all the stuff out today - feels kinda empty now was a little bit sad when i got home to see how empty her space is!
all clothes and shoes,cook books (wont be sad for them to go) i suppose no memories to hold back my recovery now and become who i want to be come again!
just been through my loft, WW has completely emptied all her stuff out of it! including the xmas tree and decs. everything seems so final now and i am feeling it. Very Sad and low? i was doing so well a week ago, now 3 steps back! before going forward again.
that stinks to hear. I know a lot of pain for me came from willful ignorance. We know these things happen when people are going through divorce, yet we don't believe it can happen to us. It's human nature.
Something I did every day for a year or so was tell myself "today could be the last day you are married". And it could be the last day you draw breath too. It reminded me of the reality of my situation and helped me to accept and expect everything that happened. This kept me from getting too low.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
