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Steve_ Offline OP
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An update

WW called me tuesday night and asked me take the kids for the night becayse there was a "war" going on with her and OM. I said "okay the kids dont need to be involved in that mess, no prob" Next day she asks if If I could give her a hand with getting her stuff out of the apartment, she was unwilling to wait for OM to leave and get his own place and she wanted out and the kids out asap as there was issues between OM, his kids, my kids, etc. I said sure since I had the day off and I am the only one with a pickup truck. She told OM to take his mom and leave and I pretty much unloaded her whole place minus the furniature. She thanked me, was very tearful at moments and told me "this is the biggest mistake I ever made, I really really F'd up" She went on to say that everyone including OM's best friend is tellng her to get her husband back. She told me she doesnt think its fair to do what she did and come back to me. I told her "We all make mistakes, life is unpredictable, I am not here to talk about our relationship, I am here to help you get yourself and the kids out of this mess" She then went on to say she was considering filing a stopping of the divorce with the A. She asked me to stay at her moms and hang out awhile once I had moved her stuff, I said "no I gotta go do laundry and what not" Shes very into punishing OM right now and posts things about being happy to mess with him. She even asked me to take the bed apart and the furniature apart so OM couldnt use it. She said OM can keep the matress, I told her im not interested in playing petty games she said okay and had our brother in law come over and dismanlte everything and leave it. IDk and IDC what went down between her and OM but she seemed pissed off and terribly disrespecful to him. She took everything out, food, laundry soap, offered me everything i wanted from the place.

I declined everything and just helped her move and went home, I kept it light and she and I did a lot of laughing and so on during the moving. I went back to my place and that was that.

I have never heard the words come out of her mouth that I heard wednesday "I f'd up, this was the biggest mistake of my life, I realized nobody loves our kids the way we do, and that no man is worth my time except you"

She still is keeping her distance and processing things, she is not asking to recon, but she told my 7 year old she might, and she mentions things about us in the future. At this point in time I am not lifting any fingers for her, she is spinning everywhere and flip flopping as to be expected from what I seen but her whole fam is pushing for her to recon with me and im just giving her space I honestly feel like she is a wild wounded animal and she is being erratic. I believe nothing she says and only half of what she does. I do not trust her, and I do not want to ever feel what she put me through again. but thats the latest update.

She asked me to come by the sister in laws house to pick up the kids tonight and asked me to stay with the family a bit they will all be there for nephews birthday and they all miss me. I will go and socialize with them, I miss them as well but I will keep interactions with my W to a minimum. She is far from healthy right now and I dont need the mess.

Last edited by Steve_; 01/09/21 07:13 PM.

T:11
M:10
K: D5, S7
BD: 9/1/20
WW continues to break up and recon with OM.
I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021
Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21.
Glad my D was not busted.
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Painful to read.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

�Happiness equals reality minus expectations�- Magliozzi
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Personally, I would not have done that at all. Her mess is HER mess to clean up, not yours. I would 100% let my kids stay at my place while she sorts out her dumpster fire emergency BS, but I would not have helped her move. You can protect your kid and NOT help her, it's completely possible.

But that's just my opinion, and I realize I'm a little bit on the aggressive side when it comes to NC. My first instinct is that she was temp checking the hell out of you and trying to manipulate you.

Good job keeping it business only though.


Save yourself. Nobody is coming!
BD:11/2017
Filed:12/2017
Final: 2/2018
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Steve_ Offline OP
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Yeah I considered it and I decided if it gets my kids out of there before OM can suck them back in, im dong it. I kept it about that. I wanted my kids to be happy and that environment was not good, if I didnt help she would be there longer since I work a lot now. So I took the opportunity to get them out before she changed her mind or whatever else.


T:11
M:10
K: D5, S7
BD: 9/1/20
WW continues to break up and recon with OM.
I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021
Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21.
Glad my D was not busted.
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 8,374
Likes: 137
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Who is to say she doesn’t change her mind and then you have to move them back in again?


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

�Happiness equals reality minus expectations�- Magliozzi
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Steve_ Offline OP
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Not going to happen lol I moved them away from the mess, no way in hell I will move them anywhere else. I see that was a jab/2x4 LH lol, I can assure you I am not that weak or stupid and I have come a long way since OM drop in end of Oct.


T:11
M:10
K: D5, S7
BD: 9/1/20
WW continues to break up and recon with OM.
I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021
Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21.
Glad my D was not busted.
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 8,374
Likes: 137
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Steve,

It was a little shot lol.

Your words say you changed your actions say you haven’t changed.

I will continue to judge you by your actions.

Last edited by LH19; 01/09/21 08:10 PM.

M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

�Happiness equals reality minus expectations�- Magliozzi
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Good job staying business only. Unfortunately I also think you shouldnt have don this.
She could've just rented a truck and done it herself.
"I decided if it gets my kids out of there before OM can suck them back in, im dong it."
Also here, I hope you realize the next OM might be just moths/weeks away given your W's previous endeavors.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
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Steve_ Offline OP
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I know I have serious attachment issues, im working to overcome those. Its been very hard for me. Through Nov and half of dec I was still actively "trying" to fix things like 100% at this time my effort towards the M is about 10%. (II know it should be zero but I am doing a LOT better than I was even a month ago)

I honestly did this because my son is miserable there, and its making the whole family miserable too. I saw a chance to get in there and get my kids out. And to at the same time show that im not a petty or vengeful person that wont be there when I can do something good for my kids. My W still contacts OM about logistics and such but has moved out. I have no doubt she will do more stupid stuff, but the fact I got my kids to a place they are comfortable and safe with family is a win for me. I know its not DBing to do husband stuff to a WW but when my WW told me she is leaving him and needed help to get out ASAP I did what I thought was the right thing to do. She told me she was relieved and said thank you so much about 10 times. Not the strongest aplha approach I could have let her deal with it, but I felt I did the right thing.

Last edited by Steve_; 01/09/21 08:39 PM.

T:11
M:10
K: D5, S7
BD: 9/1/20
WW continues to break up and recon with OM.
I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021
Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21.
Glad my D was not busted.
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 8,374
Likes: 137
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Steve,

The tough part to read was when you told her everyone makes mistakes. You were telling her that cheating on you seven times was ok. It’s not ok Steve.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

�Happiness equals reality minus expectations�- Magliozzi
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