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A Message from Michele
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WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont5.) #2911578
12/30/20 04:50 PM
12/30/20 04:50 PM
Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 397
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ScottB Offline OP
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ScottB  Offline OP
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My previous Thread
https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2910364&page=11

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No, I don't think she will come back. If I insinuated that, I didn't mean to. I agree, there is no movement in the "back together" direction. Its only been a month since she moved out. There is not chance that she would change her mind in that time frame. If and when she does get a job things will get harder for her.

The divorce / mediation looks like its going to move pretty fast. I am shocked we could file by April. And then I'm told its 3-5 months from that point until it is done.

Drop off with the kids was hard on me again; having to wake my son up on his day off and haul my daughter out of the house in her PJ's when they should be able to stay put really pissed me off and made me sad for them.

Yesterday was great, we snowboarded all day and then last night we set up my new projector in my room and all laid on my bed to watch shows. That was fun.
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I'm going out to dinner and drinks with a friend tonight. Don't have anything planned tomorrow for New Years Eve yet, but that might be for the best. A friend did say he might have people over but he hasn't finalized it. I just assume go to bed early and get up to work out before I get the kids back.

Re: WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont5.) [Re: ScottB] #2911580
12/30/20 04:55 PM
12/30/20 04:55 PM
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ScottB Offline OP
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Today is weird. I haven't had any feelings of anxiety in about a week and today they are back. I'm not sure what set that off exactly. Could have been a couple of things.

The STBXW and I have had a lot of interaction recently. I was good coming out of Christmas but then Sunday I picked my son up and she invited me in. Then that night she sent me some texts because she was angry that I was letting my son have a friend stay the night. Monday we had a two hour mediation session. And now I'm getting all of these emails from the attorney's as we try to schedule our future meetings; so I'm on a bid of an overload.

It shows how no contact is very helpful. I was really doing pretty good, and I'll be fine, but I hate feeling anxious. It just clouds all my thoughts and hurts my focus.

Re: WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont5.) [Re: ScottB] #2911581
12/30/20 05:26 PM
12/30/20 05:26 PM
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LH19 Offline
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Scotty B,

I would nip that in the bud right now that she’s not going to dictate to you what is right and wrong when you have the kids unless it’s something egregious.

Yeah NC is not a ploy to get your W back it’s for your detachment.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
Re: WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont5.) [Re: ScottB] #2911626
12/31/20 04:16 PM
12/31/20 04:16 PM
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ScottB Offline OP
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Question for the field: on Facebook you can update relationship status from married to separated. Any thoughts on doing that?

Re: WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont5.) [Re: ScottB] #2911628
12/31/20 04:34 PM
12/31/20 04:34 PM
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CWarrior Offline
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Well, who are you trying to tell, and why?

(Often, this doesn’t work out well, because it’s a veiled bid for a reaction. Thinking about who you want to tell and what reaction you want can be helpful imho.)


May'19 - separation. | Dec'19, Oct'20, Jan'21 - painful breakups. | Jan'21 - freedom!
"We the ones who play hard, we live hard, we love hard, we light up the dark." -- Kesha

Re: WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont5.) [Re: ScottB] #2911629
12/31/20 04:45 PM
12/31/20 04:45 PM
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Ginger1 Offline
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No. I have never ever had a FB relationship status. You can actually leave that blank

Re: WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont5.) [Re: ScottB] #2911631
12/31/20 05:20 PM
12/31/20 05:20 PM
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Missouruh
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ovrrnbw Offline
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Missouruh
Just make it blank like G said. I would not put separated.


H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
Re: WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont5.) [Re: ScottB] #2911633
12/31/20 05:50 PM
12/31/20 05:50 PM
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 8,748
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SteveLW Offline
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Originally Posted by ScottB
Question for the field: on Facebook you can update relationship status from married to separated. Any thoughts on doing that?


FB is the source of endless problems for the LBS. If you want to change something related to it is suggest suspending your account for the time-being. You struggling with what to do relationship status is a perfect example of those problems. If you just have to stay on FB (I never understand that stance but OK) then listen to ginger. Blank it out and move on.


M(52), W(53),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Re: WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont5.) [Re: ScottB] #2911634
12/31/20 05:52 PM
12/31/20 05:52 PM
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 524
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Mumin Offline
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I changed mine yesterday. Used to say “in relationship” now it’s hidden/says nothing.
Also had a cover photo from our wedding and now have nothing, made sure to remove it without there being a notification to everyone.

If you don’t want a divorce from the beginning I think it is strange if you change this already. Just my opinion.
For reference I filed for divorce in March.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Re: WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont5.) [Re: ScottB] #2911635
12/31/20 06:30 PM
12/31/20 06:30 PM
Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 293
Midwest
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harvey Offline
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I got rid of FB on the day of my divorce. Don't regret it. Since then, I've gotten rid of all social media. Don't regret that either.

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