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Originally Posted by Mumin
True CW
Not bringing it up at all might come across as passive aggressive.
Also I have gotten some info she might not be feeling to well (from SIL and a mutual friend).
Don’t want to tip the scales in terms of anger/depression if you get my point.

Also I wouldn’t warn her, just let her know the envelope came and potentially ask if I I should open it for her.


She isn't your W anymore. This is something a H does for his W. It smacks of NGS.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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I don't see harm either way. Do what feels right--as long as it's for the right reasons.

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Originally Posted by LH19
So M is this NGS or are you just trying to do the honorable thing? There’s a big difference.

I guess this is the question I have been asking myself really.
Thanks for the input everyone! Always insightful and I really appreciate it.
Since I want the same outcome no matter, it doesnt really matter if she gets it Monday or now.
So I have decided to tell her on Monday when she is back.
That way not avoiding it and not trying to control, and it does feels like the right thing to do.
Give it to her rather than just put it in her pile of mail.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
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Hi Mumin,

You have a good head on your shoulders. That is all. Take care!

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M,

When there is no motive behind an action it’s never wrong to do what you feel is right.

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Mumin Offline OP
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Will update more but wanted to get your input on something.
Arranged for kids to talk to XW today.
D3 needs to use speakerphone and during the call I heard her speaking to OM.
This sort of messed with my day and I really need to keep active to not think about it.
I will probably ask XW if she intends to introduce Him to the kids.
(She has claimed he doesn’t want anything to do with them, though that was a while ago.)
I know I can’t do anything about it. But I can be a better father if I know.
Also now I feel like I’m lying to them from time to time.

Last edited by Mumin; 12/26/20 05:22 PM.

Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
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Mumin, seems like you got a handle on this. What specifically were you wanting input on?


M(53), W(54),D(19)
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Primary input would be whether anyone thinks I shouldn’t do it.
But any input on what to say or not is of course also appreciated.

I’m thinking of just asking her face to face when we meet on Monday.
No blame, just say I will be a better father if I know.

If it’s a message probably the same style.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
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I guess I’m trying to understand how it will make you a better father?

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Originally Posted by LH19
I guess I’m trying to understand how it will make you a better father?



My question exactly.

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