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https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2909623&page=10

Old thread above.

Geez. My five day stretch, the first one, without the kids has been about all I can handle. After hanging out with a friend on Friday and another buddy on Thursday, yesterday I worked out with a friend and then opened my house up to a group of about a dozen guys beginning at 3:30p yesterday and the last guy left at 2am.

I believe we went through 98 beers, two or three rack of ribs, a couple dozen wings and we broke in my new ping pong table. I'm typing this and still in a bit of a fog.

One of my closest friends who lives two miles away asked when I put in my back patio - it was five years - but he hadn't been invited over yet. It really shows how my Ex made it challenging to have people over.

I was pleasantly surprised at who all came over and how chill it was. I haven't had a party at my house in at least 12 years. I need to make a couple of upgrades - like some solid outdoor furniture. I got a projector coming for my outdoor space which will be a massive upgrade. It was a wild time and definitely kept my head right and kept me out of trouble.

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Hi Scott,

Impressive GAL work on your part--as long as you didn't drink all 98 beers yourself! I envy your projector project. I have hosted movie parties, but I could only sneak in a dozen without a projector and proper outdoor furniture. I remember spending a weekend re-arranging my living room to make even a dozen possible.



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Thanks CW. It comes tomorrow so we'll see how it does. If it works like I think it will I'll have a Football viewing party next weekend.

I get the kids back tomorrow and we're going skiing. They are pumped and I'm really excited to see them. I saw them and my Ex today and gave the kids hugs, she didn't say a word to me - which does bug me still.

Today was my fifth day without the kids and today was the first day I felt a little lost and lonely, so I feel like I did pretty good work to get this far.

I was able to go to a late lunch with family that helped a little, and then I worked out, but now I'm just ready for the day to be over and honestly I just wish things could go back to the way they were. I know they can't, but I'm tired and lonely and this is hard. I'll keep moving forward.

Because of the way the holidays fall I won't have a 5 day stretch without the kids until next year so that's good. Also, my parents, who are snowbirds, will back back from tomorrow through year end - so I have even more support right now; that will be great. Thanks everyone on the DB forum for all your support.

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Scott, yes very commendable. My only caution is to try and watch the drinking for now. Lots of people have fallen for the drunken phone call to the STBX while drunk.


M(52), W(53),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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Steve - I appreciate that warning. I am one that would make a drunken call to other random women, so at least I have that going for me? All joking aside - that is the truth. I fought not to do it on Friday night.

In order to deal with that, I called that woman on Sunday at midday because I know myself well enough to know that at some point I was going to call her and I decided I was better off doing it with full faculties. She was someone that years ago seemed to have a thing for me. On that call I realized how out of her mind crazy she was and that I am better off staying away from that one. So I got that one out of my system. My next big challenge is to stay off the dating apps.

I'll try to keep busy but that is definitely a temptation.

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I have regular plans every day / night until 12/27 or so, so I should be able to get through the next couple of weeks without doing anything stupid.

One day at time.

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When you say doing something stupid. What do you mean?


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
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“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
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My STBX sent me a text that she needs to come over and get her nativity scene. I know she'll just walk in, look for it, and leave. She didn't say a word to me at church and so I don't expect her to say a word to me when she is in the house either. But it is a thing.

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Why not find, set it on the porch, then text her "I set your nativity scene in a box on the porch, you can pick it up anytime".

Until you get to the point where you don't see these kinds of interactions as a chance to see how she "treats" you, you will continue to spin.


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LH - By something stupid, I mean begin to get involved with other women on some basis.

Steve85 - I was able to find it and I did sit it out. And yes, I still see these interactions as a chance to see how she treats me and it does make me continue to spin.

And they closed down skiing tonight. That stinks. Doesn't reopen till the weekend. It got too warm yesterday. That is a bummer, I was looking forward to doing that with the kids.

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