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M,

No need to explain she knows why you didn’t call. Your explanation is manipulation. Hospital visits, kids home sick or in trouble at school, etc she needs to know about.

I agree you are doing well. There will be numbs in the road along the way but you will get there.

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Mumin Offline OP
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You’re completely right as always LH.
I could sort of feel it was wrong to say so I didn’t.
Instead I transitioned to talk about the visit and told her what the nurse and doctor said.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
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Originally Posted by Mumin
You’re completely right as always LH.
I could sort of feel it was wrong to say so I didn’t.
Instead I transitioned to talk about the visit and told her what the nurse and doctor said.


Well done, Mumin! Keep up the good work.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
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Mumin Offline OP
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Hadn’t thought about until spiral posted he had an anniversary but today marks a year since the real BD.
And, still another +1,5 more months of IHS.
I’m getting real tired of it. Last night D6 said for the first time it feels strange that Mommy puts me to bed but you are in MBR. (For those who don’t know sitch W sleeps in a cottage/shed while she is here)
There still is love in me for her but I believe I am close to as detached as possible while IHS.
Just really want to let ALL thoughts and feelings go and begin my new life.

I’m doing well at work.
Building more and more muscle. Will start intermittent fasting again in March.
House is ready for Christmas (I let W and kids prepare and decorate the tree)
Been very anxious about the roof from time to time but it seems leak is stopped but I’m looking at a renovation with 5 years maximum. That’s about 25000 USD, or DIY and way cheaper. Right now I have zero savings and credit is maxed out. So I’m reading up and talking to friends about all components of building a house. I’m lucky with competent friends here so feel secure atm. In five years maybe I’ll practically be a carpenter.

Also would love some real snow this year! Snowboarding is my biggest passion.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 574
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Mumin Offline OP
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Hmm
Got an envelope from the courts in the mail today. Addressed to W.
It is probably them asking her to confirm and I happen to know she doesn’t have a lot of time to do this.
If she doesn’t intervene within a few days we will be divorced.
W won’t be back home till Monday so I am wondering if I should write to her or just put it in her pile of mail.
I know she’ll not look at it for a few weeks if I put it in her pile.

I filed the final papers for legal D without her knowing.
Leaning towards telling her the envelope came and I believe they sent it because I filed.

Last edited by Mumin; 12/09/20 04:49 PM.

Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 9,822
Likes: 226
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Talk to your lawyer.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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What would be your motive in warning STBXW about the envelope? Presumably, you filed for D because you're ready for that solo journey--not as a "one last chance" (an ultimatum).

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Mumin Offline OP
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True CW
Not bringing it up at all might come across as passive aggressive.
Also I have gotten some info she might not be feeling to well (from SIL and a mutual friend).
Don’t want to tip the scales in terms of anger/depression if you get my point.

Also I wouldn’t warn her, just let her know the envelope came and potentially ask if I I should open it for her.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 574
Likes: 5
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To your point Steve this wouldn’t impact anything other than her feelings really.
Financials are signed and I own the house now.
Custody is done.
This is just to confirm the legal D after the obligatory waiting time.

Last edited by Mumin; 12/09/20 05:32 PM.

Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 9,227
Likes: 309
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So M is this NGS or are you just trying to do the honorable thing? There’s a big difference.

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