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#2909468 11/28/20 10:09 PM
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Mumin Offline OP
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Previous thread

Short recap:
Me: 34
STBXW: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019 (I start wondering about OM)
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
I filed for D: 29th March 2020

Now.
-I am living in the house 100%. She is living 50% with OM and other 50 is IHS.
-She will move to an apartment end of January
-I have filed final papers without her knowing

First of, thanks again everyone for your endless knowledge and support!

I messed up with the recent child thing.
Ginger and LH you are of course right. I should have called or texted.
Of course it was unfortunate that the very day before hospital was the first day I decide to neglect W and work consumed my focus. So things were made two-fold for her.

As long as she doesn't ask about them EVERY time or several days in a row I will answer her.
Though if it continues I will rather suggest a FaceTime day per week as some her have instated.
My principle is that if he kids ask they can ALWAYS call her. But I will never suggest it.

Time for me to continue growing.
This whole thing made me very tense as I know I upset her, so there is still WAYS to go.
Especially with NGS.

Last edited by Mumin; 11/28/20 10:11 PM.

Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 574
Likes: 5
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Mumin Offline OP
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Considering apologizing today, and say it wont happen again.
IHS means a confrontation of some sort is going to happen.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 9,227
Likes: 309
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You can certainly apologize but I would be careful with it won’t happen again in case it does.

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job Offline
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Mumin,

I know that you are trying to be helpful, but please do not provide info about links and/or references to other sites that are not related to DB. BTW, I have removed several suggested sites that you have mentioned in the last month or so.

Thanks!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Mumin Offline OP
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Ok I apologize I thought it was only links.
Will read rules again.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
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Even though your postings were not direct "links", but they referenced sites and what to look for. There is no need to apologize...we all have either posted links or references sites where you can go look at reading material or watch videos, etc. We use to be able to do these things many, many years ago, but things have changed over the years.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 574
Likes: 5
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Mumin Offline OP
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Viewed the pinned thread on posting links.
Referencing other books is ok though, right?
Don’t really see the difference to a video on site that times with cube.
Shame since some are great.
I will of course abide the order and stop referencing them though. Had no idea you were deleting them laugh
Sorry for previous cases!

Last edited by Mumin; 11/30/20 09:09 PM.

Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
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Referencing books is okay a far as I am concerned. We use to have a listing of recommended reading material and it would be great if one a thread was started on this forum to help others. Again, not a problem.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Mar 2020
Posts: 569
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Mumin, just wanted to reach out and say it’s be great to see how far you’ve come. Your threads definitely have a different tone and it’s very encouraging to see.


Me: 40
EX:37
Together 17 years
Married 16 years
5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11

BD 03/06/20, divorced 12/23/21
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Mumin Offline OP
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That makes me really glad to hear Joseph! Thank your for posting.

Yesterday was basically a normal night.
I did apologize as she was talking about how it felt.
Was considering saying something like “how I relate to you has completely changed, that’s probably why I didn’t call”. But didn’t. Said I was at fault and apologized. She seemed to accept the apology and also realized it was twofold (Thursday and Friday).


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
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