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A Message from Michele
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Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: MrBrside] #2909222
11/24/20 10:07 AM
11/24/20 10:07 AM
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LH19 Offline
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Originally Posted by MrBrside
Originally Posted by LH19
Benny B,

Takes me about 2 minutes to decide yes or know for date 2. I had one Saturday a knew right away I was not interested in another date. I still enjoyed a night out with a new person and a couple drinks. It’s all good.


I assume thats based on initial attraction / vibe though ?

This is why i feel caution is needed to the LBS - what you see in 2 minutes, may not be what you get in 30 minutes once the stones start getting unturned.

I mentioned the lady above - within the first 10 minutes it was a great date. 30 minutes and 3 husbands later chat and i was like...get me out of here lol..i would have ignored this 10 years ago.


Yes based on attraction and vibe that at least there is potential. Of course the real dealbreakers can come out later. Went out with a girl this month married three times engaged 5 times. Latest husband shot himself in front of her. “ check please”. I’m good.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: LH19] #2909224
11/24/20 11:50 AM
11/24/20 11:50 AM
Joined: Jan 2019
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Originally Posted by LH19

Went out with a girl this month married three times engaged 5 times. Latest husband shot himself in front of her. “ check please”. I’m good.


Hence my comment - lots of broken people lol smile

As long as you spot them its fine..

The danger with the LBS is that they are so desperate to fix their issues, they throw themselves into the first person who gives them butterflys - ignoring the 3 failed marriges, 3 kids by 3 fathers etc


Previous username - Helpme123.. A name chosen at a desperate time..

Now Mr Brightside.. coming out of my cage, and doing just fine.
Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: MrBrside] #2909225
11/24/20 12:30 PM
11/24/20 12:30 PM
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LH19 Offline
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Originally Posted by MrBrside
Originally Posted by LH19

Went out with a girl this month married three times engaged 5 times. Latest husband shot himself in front of her. “ check please”. I’m good.


Hence my comment - lots of broken people lol smile

As long as you spot them its fine..

The danger with the LBS is that they are so desperate to fix their issues, they throw themselves into the first person who gives them butterflys - ignoring the 3 failed marriges, 3 kids by 3 fathers etc


Oh I can spot them. Sometimes maybe over analyzing. We just had a guy on the divorce but thriving thread after everyone warned him he moved in and got engaged to a married woman who was going into marriage number 5. Needless to say after losing his kids, pets lots of money he finally saw the light. He’s been on here for 4 years but has made zero progress. That’s what’s disheartening.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: Mumin] #2909319
11/25/20 10:18 PM
11/25/20 10:18 PM
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Mumin Offline OP
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Coincidence but not fun
Today I filed the final papers.
Today D3 said “I love you daddy, and OM.”

They have mentioned him before but never like that.
Asked D6 if they had met him. She said no.
I’ll leave it at that.

Fu W!

Last edited by Mumin; 11/25/20 10:21 PM.

Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: LH19] #2909337
11/26/20 09:54 AM
11/26/20 09:54 AM
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Posts: 379
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Originally Posted by LH19
The danger with the LBS is that they are so desperate to fix their issues, they throw themselves into the first person who gives them butterflys - ignoring the 3 failed marriges, 3 kids by 3 fathers etc


What's the obsession with being with someone anyway? I'm sure we can all remember a time that we loved being single, I certainly do. Of course, we were married and its not what we want, but as my best mate tells me, why would you just waste this opportunity to be yourself and have some fun. If you seemingly didn't pick the right person for your first marriage, what are the chances its going to be the first person after that who is perfect.


Me: 38 W:40
T: 14 M: 11
S: 4
BD1: IHS Nov 2019
BD2: ILYBNILWY Jun 2020
OM since Jun 2020
W moves out Aug 2020

"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"
Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: Mumin] #2909341
11/26/20 12:14 PM
11/26/20 12:14 PM
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Some people need another person for validation. Some men need a mommy. Some women need a man to support them. If you haven’t followed Wolfman then he is a great example about jumping into fast.

I disagree with your friend. I am more aware then ever in my life for what I am looking for so that I do not have to go through this pain again.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: Mumin] #2909352
11/26/20 07:20 PM
11/26/20 07:20 PM
Joined: Oct 2020
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OnlyBent Online
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I read Wolfman LH, every word, scared the bejeezus out of me. If he’s made one contribution here it is to show others how bad things can go.

I think maybe you misunderstand my friend, he is all for knowing what you want and not going through it again (his LT GF cheated on him), he is just saying what’s the rush.


Me: 38 W:40
T: 14 M: 11
S: 4
BD1: IHS Nov 2019
BD2: ILYBNILWY Jun 2020
OM since Jun 2020
W moves out Aug 2020

"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"
Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: Mumin] #2909448
11/28/20 07:12 PM
11/28/20 07:12 PM
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Posts: 524
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Mumin Offline OP
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Neglected and then forgot to reply to W who asked how kids are doing.
She just wrote.
I understand that you might not want to reply to non kids stuff. But I expect us to answer each other about kids. It made me really sad.

So she expects this does she. Almost replied something very aggressive.
Just so happened though D3 was in the hospital yesterday for a minor thing. She’s completely fine, just antibiotics.

How about,
Sorry it made you sad. I won’t always be available but will always say if they are sick.

Then tell her about antibiotics etc.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: Mumin] #2909456
11/28/20 08:30 PM
11/28/20 08:30 PM
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Posts: 524
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Mumin Offline OP
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Wrote something similar to above.
She replied with only “.........”
Then called a few minutes later.
I answered.

W- Don’t you think a mother wants to know...
W- You write you will always say and then tell me you were in the hospital yesterday. The FK???!
I said take it easy. I was exhausted yesterday and forgot to write. Was planning on telling you today.
W- ok now I know then. And she hung up immediately.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: Mumin] #2909458
11/28/20 08:44 PM
11/28/20 08:44 PM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 6,403
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LH19 Offline
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M,

I can see why she was upset. A trip to the hospital is a must call.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
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