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A Message from Michele
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Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: LH19] #2909175
11/23/20 07:38 PM
11/23/20 07:38 PM
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 291
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MrBrside Offline
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Originally Posted by LH19
Benny B,

Takes me about 2 minutes to decide yes or know for date 2. I had one Saturday a knew right away I was not interested in another date. I still enjoyed a night out with a new person and a couple drinks. Itís all good.


I assume thats based on initial attraction / vibe though ?

This is why i feel caution is needed to the LBS - what you see in 2 minutes, may not be what you get in 30 minutes once the stones start getting unturned.

I mentioned the lady above - within the first 10 minutes it was a great date. 30 minutes and 3 husbands later chat and i was like...get me out of here lol..i would have ignored this 10 years ago.


Previous username - Helpme123.. A name chosen at a desperate time..

Now Mr Brightside.. coming out of my cage, and doing just fine.
Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: Mumin] #2909176
11/23/20 07:39 PM
11/23/20 07:39 PM
Joined: May 2019
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What I did with the lawyer for example is we went for a walk, I noticed we were clicking and before I suggested it myself, she suggested having a cup of coffee. I took her to my favorite place where they also allow dogs and we sat there for another few hours. I don't like dinner on a first date, if I don't like the person, now I'm still stuck for at least another hour but probably more.

I wouldn't know about children, I always swipe left if they have kids and prefer to meet someone without since I don't have any myself.


Me: 38
Stbxw: 35
No kids
Mini bd: February 6, 2019
ONS confirmed Sept 7, 2019
Told her to move out: September 8, 2019
W moved out: September 28, 2019
Divorce filed by me: September 23, 2019
Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: Mumin] #2909178
11/23/20 07:41 PM
11/23/20 07:41 PM
Joined: Feb 2017
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LH19 Offline
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Thereís some obvious ones for me. Lying on profiles is a deal breaker, restraining orders, heavy drug use, smoking, less then 50/50 custody not asking about my children.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

ďDon't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.Ē- Will Smith
Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: LH19] #2909182
11/23/20 08:25 PM
11/23/20 08:25 PM
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 291
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MrBrside Offline
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Originally Posted by LH19
restraining orders


i laughed out loud at this - against them lol ? is this common in the US

Originally Posted by LH19
heavy drug use


any drug use is a no no for me..


Previous username - Helpme123.. A name chosen at a desperate time..

Now Mr Brightside.. coming out of my cage, and doing just fine.
Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: BenB] #2909183
11/23/20 08:27 PM
11/23/20 08:27 PM
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BL42 Offline
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I've never been on Tinder because it came out after I started dating my W, but I know plenty of people who have used it. There are certainly people on there just looking for hookups but plenty looking for relationships as well. To me it seems like the next platform of dating from eHarmony to Match to Tinder to Bumble. Maybe it's generational thing, but online dating is fairly pervasive now.


Me:39 W:36
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:2
BD/IHS/Suspect OM: 2/15/20
Discovered EA & PA: 3/5/20
W/OM1's work & OM1's W know: 5/20
W moves out: 6/20-7/20
W w/OM2: 6/20-7/20
W files for D: 7/20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: Mumin] #2909184
11/23/20 08:29 PM
11/23/20 08:29 PM
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LH19 Offline
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Bside Iím here to entertain lol. Yep a few of my dates have had restraining orders against their exís. That makes for pleasant conversations lol.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

ďDon't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.Ē- Will Smith
Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: Mumin] #2909185
11/23/20 08:30 PM
11/23/20 08:30 PM
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 524
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Mumin Offline OP
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Keep the dating advice coming guys! laugh
Will come back here and look in a few months time.
I will stay off until I feel stable and ready for it.
We havnt even physically separated yet.
Right now I dont want or need to date.

When I did a bit of "market research" this summer 9/10 of the ppl I matched with seemed to be broken in some way.
Though at that time I basically only swiped right and I tried three different apps to get an understanding of things (some were way worse than others). However as some have said, dating apps are an accepted and highly used tool for dating in my age group today. My brother met his wife to be on Tinder. Shes great!
Ben you should try Bumble if you are out there swiping.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: Mumin] #2909188
11/23/20 08:37 PM
11/23/20 08:37 PM
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Posts: 6,403
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LH19 Offline
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Iíve used Bumble, Match, Zoosk and recently Tinder. Truthfully Iíve had the most success on Bumble. Iíve tried writing serious profiles but I feel women are as bad as men and donít read them. A short witty profile with a few pics seem to be enough. I have met good people on all and kooks on all. Honestly the free ones are enough IMO.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

ďDon't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.Ē- Will Smith
Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: Mumin] #2909198
11/23/20 09:50 PM
11/23/20 09:50 PM
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 288
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BenB Offline
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So far, none of the other dating apps I've used except for the invite only one and Tinder have worked well. I didn't know Bumble was big here but I'll check it out. The rest of them have been a waste of time.

LH, true I have a short witty profile and that seems to be working well. I also took some professional photos I've used although I should update them soon as I look quite different now, more than a year later. Another tip, avoid gym selfies or any shirtless for no reason pictures. All my female friends agree that is a turn off.


Me: 38
Stbxw: 35
No kids
Mini bd: February 6, 2019
ONS confirmed Sept 7, 2019
Told her to move out: September 8, 2019
W moved out: September 28, 2019
Divorce filed by me: September 23, 2019
Re: Finalizing D and moving on #5 [Re: Mumin] #2909221
11/24/20 09:16 AM
11/24/20 09:16 AM
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 524
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Mumin Offline OP
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Thanks again for all the input everyone!!
Ben, my understanding is Tinder still has a much larger user base but Bumble has a bit higher "quality".
I plan to get some great photos next year to use.

IHS isnt great.
Really looking forward to February.
I have a hard time not interacting with her when shes at home. Feels like its super friend zone sometimes.
House is small and I work from home most days.
She initiates 90% of the non-children communication though.

Last edited by Mumin; 11/24/20 09:17 AM.

Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
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