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(((G)))

So glad that you had a good get-away with little G. I enjoyed your pics and was a little jealous of all y'all got to see and do. Looked like a blast. Take care of yourself!


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
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I really appreciate the support . We did have a good time together we were lucky with the weather. I’m fortunate to have those memories with her.

Some days I feel a little better. Some days I am tearful. It’s dark early. I come home to D13 who spends most of her time in her room on the phone with her friends. I eat dinner alone every night. And I guess I’m getting a little sadder because I know that we are going to be on lockdown again. The numbers are rising, the hospitalizations are rising, and measures are being taken by our governor. It’s going to be even more lonely. I have my foot surgery scheduled for dec 18th and I am trying to move it up because I think they are going to stop elective surgeries again. I met my deductible this year, my foot is in so much pain, I can barely walk and I cannot afford not to get it done.
My favorite doctor even offered to call my podiatrist and tell him to get me in ASAP.

One flattering did happen to me. One of the nurses on my floor and I were talking and she asked “are you dating anyone?” I told her no. She told me she never sets anyone up, but her brother is 42 and divorced and not seeing anyone and she was thinking we would be a good match. She says I am very likable and awesome and if I’m open to it, she would like to set us up. I agreed to it. So we will see. I told her to let him look me up on FB and make sure he is attracted first. ( she told me to do the same) Nothing may come from it, but I was alone flattered that she called me very likable and thought I was good enough for her brother. It made me feel good.

I’m on day 4 of no carbs no sugar, no alcohol. I’m hoping I can find the willpower to stick to it. I am just so bored and lonely at night, and kind of sad,‘I want to reach for it. But I am not. Trying to find little things to do and keep me occupied. Tomorrow night I’m going to the gym. D13 will be with her dad this weekend and I don’t have to work, so I need to fill up my weekend somehow.

This COVID bump up is really kicking my butt. I know it means isolation during the cold winter alone and that might make me crazy

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kml Offline
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Hoping your surgery can be moved up! And that's a real compliment that she wants to set you up with her brother.

Hope you can set up a zoom party with some girlfriends for one night this weekend.

kml #2908406 11/13/20 01:29 PM
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Originally Posted by kml
Hoping your surgery can be moved up! And that's a real compliment that she wants to set you up with her brother.

Hope you can set up a zoom party with some girlfriends for one night this weekend.


My friends don’t do that anymore unfortunately. This COVID has actually really changed some of my friends ships and shone some light on them. I know who is solid to the core and who isn’t. And which friendships were holding on by a thread prior to this.

I might however, go on a bike ride with a friend tomorrow if the weather permits. If it wasn’t for my foot, I would be hiking and biking and being out and about every chance I got. Biking is doable, but I literally can’t walk. It’s torture .

Walked into work this Morning and they are putting the HEPA filters back into our non iso rooms. It’s coming back with a vengeance. The good thing is we can treat it better. The bad thing is our resources, the biggest ones being beds and nurses .

Bracing myself for all that’s going to come with it

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Make sure your vitamin D level is at least in the 40’s - the data on Vitamin D is pretty convincing.

Don’t be too hard on your friends during this pandemic - it’s affecting everyone in weird ways. I’d reserve judgment until times are more normal.

((((Hug))))

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I’m definitely not hard on my friends and I’m very understanding. I was questioning the dynamic of some relationships before and this COVID thing kind of brought it all to light. Still my friends, just changing friendships. And I do take vit C and D.

I did go out to dinner with a friend last night. It was great. And we both kind of know this was the last before the state shuts down again. It’s getting bad here. The Positive test numbers were never what concerned me, it was the hospitalizations . And they are way up. We are prepping to have a mostly COVID hospital again. So, I’m really glad I had that dinner with my friend. Which was super healthy and delicious BTW.

Now for a weekend of just me. I feel horribly deprived of physical touch lately. I get a weak good night hug from my kid, cuddles from my dog, but that is it in many many months. And when you LL is physical touch, man is rough. I think skin to skin contact is like a natural antidepressant. A big old hug. Lifts my mood almost immediately. It’s just not happening. The most physical touch I have gotten is from my massage on vacay and my pedicures. To just lay my head on a guys chest again would be surreal.

I do know I’m not alone. I follow a thread on Reddit about dating over 40 and a guy posted about this . And the amount of replies form singles who feel the same was overwhelming . Everyone just wants a hug, a kiss, SOMETHING. The men even want it and they aren’t even talking sex. A bunch of adults who are alone who just want some form of physical intimacy . It’s so sad. But it felt good to be able to relate and not feel alone it.

These times makes you want to reach out to an ex. But I will not. I’m just going to keep on chugging along .

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Originally Posted by Ginger1
I do know I’m not alone. I follow a thread on Reddit about dating over 40 and a guy posted about this . And the amount of replies form singles who feel the same was overwhelming . Everyone just wants a hug, a kiss, SOMETHING. The men even want it and they aren’t even talking sex. A bunch of adults who are alone who just want some form of physical intimacy . It’s so sad. But it felt good to be able to relate and not feel alone it.

Oh you are SO NOT alone. I was saying these exact words on the the phone to a friend a few days ago - a friend after only saying 6 words to me, I responded with, oh no, you’ve got covid don’t you? It was clear in her voice. . I so totally agree. I can’t remember the last real hug I’ve had. Don’t even want to think about the last real kiss.

As for the other. Here we are, nearly 9 months into this failed experiment of trying to control the universe. How’s that working for us? And it’s not just the USA as Andrew has commented on Canada locking down again. They’ve yet to open their boarders. Other countries are seeing huge surges too. I agree Ginger, it’s not about cases but hospitalization and deaths. For the longest time I could only name a few people who had tested positive. I can now rattle off dozens in rapid succession. All have recovered just fine. Sadly two have not and never will. Thing is, many were fanatical about masks, hand washing, hiding in their houses - following every rule and chiding others to do the same. They got it anyhow. Hmmmmm. I won’t argue why our response has failed, just that it has. And a fail is a fail regardless of the reasons. Now they want us to cancel thanksgiving. No doubt Christmas will be next. Problem is, for how many will this be their last thanksgiving or Christmas? Not because they will die from covid but from old age and life. Yet we want to double down on what has failed. I just don’t get it. The vaccines appear to be very promising. Whether they work to 90% as thought or only 1/3 of the population even gets in line for one, they will make us feel safe and in the end, that’s all it’s ever been about. Doing something to feel better, feel safer, feel like we are doing something. In the meantime, how many have to go through the depression of missing family, friends, holidays and a hug - all in the name of doing something - whether that something has any impact or not, whether it fails or not, whether it makes many other things much worse or not.

Sorry Ginger, I didn’t intend to get on such a role - only to agree with your thoughts and those on Reddit. I can’t wait to see how the world looks back on the craziness of 2020. The year we stopped hugging each other in the name of better living and safety.


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Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
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Thanks Don. It is just really hard. I feel like a loser lately. This all
Stinks .

Well, I guess it was blind to happen sooner or later, but I’ve been exposed to covid . The social worker filling in for my regular one yesterday sat next to me in our tiny office and we don’t stay masked all day when sitting at our desks . Well, she took a test Friday as a precaution and it came back positive today. The normal office she sits in is very crowded. And a few rested positive in there and a few of those are symptomatic. So I had a pretty decent exposure. Of course, as a healthcare worker, I can report to work as long as I don’t have symptoms or test positive But this messes everything up . Gabby can’t go to her dads. She also can’t hVe her sleep overs planned which she way dying for because she is coming off of a 2 week quarantine. I can’t see anyone outside of work, and thanksgiving is in question.

I’m seriously about to just lose my sh!t. I was telling my dad and I was telling him how depressed I was and he said “that’s all I ever hear, I get it” gee, thanks dad. And I never even really tell him, quite honestly becUse I know how he reacts.

I’ve got no one. It stinks. My child is avoiding me like the plague in our tiny house. I must mask when entering her room.

I have this gut feeling Im positive and will be symptomatic soon.

Fun times!

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{((Ginger))}


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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Zinc lozenges, double up you vitamin D for 2-3 days, vitamin C, B12 and Nicotinamide. Also start taking a baby aspirin daily. A recent study showed that hospitalized Covid patients who just happened to already be on baby aspirin had half the mortality rate. I don’t recommend people take it all the time for prevention, but tell my patients to start it right away if they’re exposed or start to feel sick.

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