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Mumin Offline OP
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Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
Just tell her she should do what she feels is right. She'll take it from there.

This is pretty much what I replied.

The next day she basically said:
"I have thought long and hard and I feel it is the responsible and respectful thing to do for all involved." [to buy the apartment]
I said something like. "Yes, I think its a good choice."
She went on about it being the right thing towards me and I said I didnt want to talk about it more and soon thereafter hung up.

This whole conversation, her doubt and a an additional huge amount of other communication (due to kids sickness) set me back on detachment. Today I feel I am back to where I should be though.
In regards to detachment W actually did buy the apartment but wont get access till late January....
3 more months of Corona IHS...
I shall start making the place my own! I'm not big on interior design though.

Finally hit the gym again today, such an amazing feeling! Everyone of us here should lift heavy weights!

I intend to keep off DB a bit this month, its getting addictive to follow and assist others.
Not the worst thing in the world to be reminded of DB principles and helping others though, so we'll see. smile


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
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Posts: 574
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Mumin Offline OP
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Today marks 6 months and I can file to finalize the divorce.
Some admin and authorities details means it will probably take a week or two.
As soon as it’s processed I will change my profile pic on FB as well as R status.
Will try to do it without announcing it in the feed.

Doing gardening today as well as a heavy gym workout.
Deleted Instagram today and will remove auto login to Facebook.
Will finalize NMMNG this month (really taking my time to read it and will read it again next year.)
Getting the new iPhone and will not be installing dating apps.
Considering getting the multi orgazmic man which some here have suggested.
Making a plan to renovate the cottage on my property so i can rent it to someone and get extra income.

Living together really makes real detachment almost impossible.
Especially being some what of a complete family still.
Kids know W has apartment now so that’s good. Don’t think D3 really understands though but that time will come.
Moving on.
Amor fati


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
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Posts: 9,227
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M,

This is all good stuff.

Real detachment while living is virtually impossible. That is why in house seperation never works.

You have come a long way and should be proud of yourself. Just keep moving forward.

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Mumin Offline OP
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Thanks LH! That really means a lot from you!


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 574
Likes: 5
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Mumin Offline OP
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W left her old phone and a paper full of passwords on a bookshelf.
Not snooping is very hard atm!


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 574
Likes: 5
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Mumin Offline OP
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It’s my days with the kids.
W- How are the kids? I miss them. Do you have a picture you could send?

Will wait till tomorrow but since we’ll soon be cooparenting I will reply something.
We basically never FaceTime with the kids but we might start after she moves out completely.

Edit:
Again she was VERY close to crying as we said goodbye earlier this week.

Last edited by Mumin; 11/14/20 05:20 PM.

Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 574
Likes: 5
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Mumin Offline OP
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I replied today. Said they are doing fine and sent a short in the moment video of D3 playing.
She replied something about the video. I did not reply.

Any perspective is always appreciated.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 9,227
Likes: 309
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He’s my prospective. You should make a decision and communicate it to her if you choose not to participate in the children photo exchange.

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Mumin Offline OP
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You are right LH.
Not sure I Have to make that decision now though.
Really not sure how I feel about it.
Will I want her to send pictures of an event with kids that I missed? Yes probably.
Will I want to reply to her with a picture every time she wants one? No.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,136
Likes: 19
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I’m seeing a detached Mumin. Keep that coming man. You are getting the mojo.

Stay strong M!


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
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