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Originally Posted by CanBird
So true! OLMeeting, not dating! Time to rebrand things right! Yes, I do enjoy reading the profiles. And I wonder what my "competition" looks like? ..lol...I'm dying to see how other women present themselves. I'm just me smile
I actually have gone in a couple of times and switched the profile around to see. What I hear is more or less what I saw. A bunch of shirtless dudes wearing sunglasses and holding up dead or mostly dead fish crazy Certainly a mix in there of guys kind of like me who are just every-day sorts of guys but the greater bulk are what I would think of as "Bro"'s - Fishin', Drinkin', 4-wheeling. But I live in a fishin, drinkin, 4-wheeling part of the world so they are more the norm than a guy who enjoys doing his ironing and going to museums.

What I see - and what is - for me - a turn-off - is a lot of drinking pictures. Pictures with an ex obviously cropped out, pictures that prominently show a wedding band still on their hand. Make an effort please .... Many of the pictures seem to be from the sort of mid-range all-inclusive resorts like my ex-wife and I used to go to.

Let's see - a lot of pictures with their dogs. Maybe crazy cat-ladies don't go for on-line dating? In this area a fair number of pictures of them with their horses. One person I recall wanted to date someone with a big enough truck to haul her horse trailer - oddly specific but not too surprising.

Just had a quick look. A lot of pictures of nostrils and conversely cleavage. Artistic types with black and white photos with varying types of shadows. Snapchat filters used to blur out wrinkles.

A good number of honest pictures - or what I presume are honest - especially of the more plain looking women.

I actually read the profiles - although like the Newcomers area here, most make me sad rather than interested. A lot of women who are looking for someone to cuddle and watch TV with - at least in my middle-age range. A lot of people who very specifically are looking for a travel companion - which I read as someone to foot the bill.

Profiles range from two words, a basic sentence or pages and pages of hopes and dreams. The longer profiles to me at least smack of desperation - but then I've been an observer for several years and judge based on that.

For some reason people seem to tend to be very attached to their particular variety of music. Country music around here laugh Personally I have a wide taste and for a while recently was listening to some Mongolian heavy metal throat singing - reminded me of old Motörhead.

What I have found - at least with the 2 women who I did end up dating - was that "likes long walks" means from the restaurant to the car - not my usual hour long ramble through the woods or along streets.

Not sure if that was helpful or not.


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Originally Posted by AndrewP
What I have found - at least with the 2 women who I did end up dating - was that "likes long walks" means from the restaurant to the car - not my usual hour long ramble through the woods or along streets.

That struck a chord! "Ms Grand Canyon" claimed to have hiked the whole Grand Canyon. I was like "Wow, you too?!" What did you think of the bottom? She couldn't recall. Hint--everyone recalls. Next, she went almost to the bottom. "What did you think of the village halfway down?" Her story dialed back to she went 1-2 miles down. I can't recall anyone I dated online who "liked to hike" who hiked regularly or went on more than a few with me.

I know we men tell certain whoppers, too. It's funny height (men) and weight (women) fibs get called out often, but this one not as much, though it's common enough dating experts warn about it.

Online dating was actually fun for me. Most were nice, and the rest were interesting. You're meeting someone outside your normal circles and the commitment is just a glass of wine (for each).

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Originally Posted by CanBird
I've always got safety in mind, so an afternoon coffee meet up outside & in public, is my thing. Meeting people organically is great! However it happens, if it's meant to be it will be. Right now, coffee dates work for me. Just meeting someone. And we'll see where it goes, or not. smile

CanBird, I love your attitude and approach. It sounds very DB, in that you win whether it's a match or not.

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PS - I have two lovely memories even of Ms. Grand Canyon. A couple saw me give her a rose and paid for our wine because they loved seeing romance in this modern day. After telling her I wasn't interested, she treated me "as friends" to my first Ethiopian meal and we danced for hours to a style of music I'd never heard before. So, even my "horror story" validates your approach, CanBird. Have fun with it. smile

CanBird #2915324 02/18/21 06:50 PM
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What I have found - at least with the 2 women who I did end up dating - was that "likes long walks" means from the restaurant to the car -


Lolol. That's pretty sad. Andrew, perhaps some kind of local walking group once the pandemic goes away? That might be a good place to meet like-minded women.

I'll say, most of the guys I met online were pretty much as advertised. (Many do put younger pictures of themselves but so long as they include a more current one I don't mind. ) I do think though that I have a pretty good ability to read between the lines so my success was much better than my friend, who has NO ability to read a profile and guess whether she would be interested.

Guys should not post mirror selfies, especially not with their shirt off and their pubic hair showing. Please. Also everybody nix the pictures with spouses cut out. Explain the other pictures with attractive women ("me and my sister") otherwise we assume that was your ex of your last date. Do NOT post a picture of you in a bathrobe holding a live duck (seriously, yes, I saw that!). It IS good to post a photo of you out with friends (as it let's us know you're not a friendless recluse) and yes, we might make decisions based on the lifestyle shown in the photo. I have NOTHING against motorheads who want to spend their weekends in the desert riding motorcycles or dune buggies. I understand the allure. But we might not have much to talk about or I might not want to spend too many of those weekends with you. You would probably be happier with a "good ole girl" . Same for a guy who is a gym rat - I like working out in the gym, but I'm inconsistent. The guy who gets up at 4 am every day to do that might be looking for a companion who is a little more motivated than I am, or might be too obsessed with perfection for my tastes.

Musical tastes is not a dealbreaker for me as my tastes are wide, but if somebody tells me they like music and all they can cite is classic rock from the 60's, I know they're not going to be sharing this interest with me. (CMM likes jazz, that's neither here nor there for me, but if a guy could cite some current rock/punk influences it would definitely interest me. )

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(Or Tuvan throat singing - way to go, Andrew! Richard Feynman would be proud).

AndrewP #2915353 02/18/21 11:23 PM
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Originally Posted by AndrewP
I actually have gone in a couple of times and switched the profile around to see. What I hear is more or less what I saw. A bunch of shirtless dudes wearing sunglasses and holding up dead or mostly dead fish crazy Certainly a mix in there of guys kind of like me who are just every-day sorts of guys but the greater bulk are what I would think of as "Bro"'s - Fishin', Drinkin', 4-wheeling. But I live in a fishin, drinkin, 4-wheeling part of the world so they are more the norm than a guy who enjoys doing his ironing and going to museums.

What I see - and what is - for me - a turn-off - is a lot of drinking pictures. Pictures with an ex obviously cropped out, pictures that prominently show a wedding band still on their hand. Make an effort please .... Many of the pictures seem to be from the sort of mid-range all-inclusive resorts like my ex-wife and I used to go to.

Let's see - a lot of pictures with their dogs. Maybe crazy cat-ladies don't go for on-line dating? In this area a fair number of pictures of them with their horses. One person I recall wanted to date someone with a big enough truck to haul her horse trailer - oddly specific but not too surprising.

Just had a quick look. A lot of pictures of nostrils and conversely cleavage. Artistic types with black and white photos with varying types of shadows. Snapchat filters used to blur out wrinkles.

A good number of honest pictures - or what I presume are honest - especially of the more plain looking women.

I actually read the profiles - although like the Newcomers area here, most make me sad rather than interested. A lot of women who are looking for someone to cuddle and watch TV with - at least in my middle-age range. A lot of people who very specifically are looking for a travel companion - which I read as someone to foot the bill.

Profiles range from two words, a basic sentence or pages and pages of hopes and dreams. The longer profiles to me at least smack of desperation - but then I've been an observer for several years and judge based on that.

For some reason people seem to tend to be very attached to their particular variety of music. Country music around here laugh Personally I have a wide taste and for a while recently was listening to some Mongolian heavy metal throat singing - reminded me of old Motörhead.

What I have found - at least with the 2 women who I did end up dating - was that "likes long walks" means from the restaurant to the car - not my usual hour long ramble through the woods or along streets.

Not sure if that was helpful or not.



HA! AndrewP, you post had me lol this morning.

Yes, the choice of pictures is always interesting. The group shot with buddies (and I can't tell figure out who's profile I'm looking at), and yes, the picture where someone else is cropped out and they are on a trip) You can usually tell which ones are current of from years ago. A few with dogs. No cats or other pets. No doubt woman are showing off their assets. The men too, shirtless..lol..

I total read the profiles. I think it tells a lot about the person. Did they put any effort into it? Weed out the ones you dislike. I love the forwardness of the woman you mentioned wanted a guy with a big truck to haul her horses..lol..

Wow, I didn't even mention music. But that's a good one for conversation. (Mongolian heavy metal throat singing ..lol.. I think I know that.

Long walks..lol... I enjoy a stroll in the woods, but one that I'm not going to sweat up a storm on. There are activities I like, that I haven't done in awhile. If I haven't physically done them in a long time, I don't list them.

Thanks for the giggles this morning.. A good laugh is always welcome smile


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Mar BD
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Jan he wants D
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Originally Posted by CWarrior
Originally Posted by AndrewP
What I have found - at least with the 2 women who I did end up dating - was that "likes long walks" means from the restaurant to the car - not my usual hour long ramble through the woods or along streets.

That struck a chord! "Ms Grand Canyon" claimed to have hiked the whole Grand Canyon. I was like "Wow, you too?!" What did you think of the bottom? She couldn't recall. Hint--everyone recalls. Next, she went almost to the bottom. "What did you think of the village halfway down?" Her story dialed back to she went 1-2 miles down. I can't recall anyone I dated online who "liked to hike" who hiked regularly or went on more than a few with me.

I know we men tell certain whoppers, too. It's funny height (men) and weight (women) fibs get called out often, but this one not as much, though it's common enough dating experts warn about it.

Online dating was actually fun for me. Most were nice, and the rest were interesting. You're meeting someone outside your normal circles and the commitment is just a glass of wine (for each).



Hi CWarrior! It's all about having fun with no expectations. The first guy I met wasn't truthful, and I called him out on one thing (he marked off he had kids and didn't..) "OH, I set this thing up once and haven't looked at it since. Didn't know I did that". (That's a pretty specific box to check ). I let the other stuff go. It was nice just to break the ice and get the first one over with. Kind of like job interviews..lol...


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
kml #2915355 02/18/21 11:38 PM
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Originally Posted by CWarrior
Originally Posted by AndrewP
What I have found - at least with the 2 women who I did end up dating - was that "likes long walks" means from the restaurant to the car - not my usual hour long ramble through the woods or along streets.

That struck a chord! "Ms Grand Canyon" claimed to have hiked the whole Grand Canyon. I was like "Wow, you too?!" What did you think of the bottom? She couldn't recall. Hint--everyone recalls. Next, she went almost to the bottom. "What did you think of the village halfway down?" Her story dialed back to she went 1-2 miles down. I can't recall anyone I dated online who "liked to hike" who hiked regularly or went on more than a few with me.

I know we men tell certain whoppers, too. It's funny height (men) and weight (women) fibs get called out often, but this one not as much, though it's common enough dating experts warn about it.

Online dating was actually fun for me. Most were nice, and the rest were interesting. You're meeting someone outside your normal circles and the commitment is just a glass of wine (for each).



Hi CWarrior! It's all about having fun with no expectations. The first guy I met wasn't truthful, and I called him out on one thing (he marked off he had kids and didn't..) "OH, I set this thing up once and haven't looked at it since. Didn't know I did that". (That's a pretty specific box to check ). I let the other stuff go. It was nice just to break the ice and get the first one over with. Kind of like job interviews..lol...

Originally Posted by kml
Quote
What I have found - at least with the 2 women who I did end up dating - was that "likes long walks" means from the restaurant to the car -


Lolol. That's pretty sad. Andrew, perhaps some kind of local walking group once the pandemic goes away? That might be a good place to meet like-minded women.

I'll say, most of the guys I met online were pretty much as advertised. (Many do put younger pictures of themselves but so long as they include a more current one I don't mind. ) I do think though that I have a pretty good ability to read between the lines so my success was much better than my friend, who has NO ability to read a profile and guess whether she would be interested.

Guys should not post mirror selfies, especially not with their shirt off and their pubic hair showing. Please. Also everybody nix the pictures with spouses cut out. Explain the other pictures with attractive women ("me and my sister") otherwise we assume that was your ex of your last date. Do NOT post a picture of you in a bathrobe holding a live duck (seriously, yes, I saw that!). It IS good to post a photo of you out with friends (as it let's us know you're not a friendless recluse) and yes, we might make decisions based on the lifestyle shown in the photo. I have NOTHING against motorheads who want to spend their weekends in the desert riding motorcycles or dune buggies. I understand the allure. But we might not have much to talk about or I might not want to spend too many of those weekends with you. You would probably be happier with a "good ole girl" . Same for a guy who is a gym rat - I like working out in the gym, but I'm inconsistent. The guy who gets up at 4 am every day to do that might be looking for a companion who is a little more motivated than I am, or might be too obsessed with perfection for my tastes.

Musical tastes is not a dealbreaker for me as my tastes are wide, but if somebody tells me they like music and all they can cite is classic rock from the 60's, I know they're not going to be sharing this interest with me. (CMM likes jazz, that's neither here nor there for me, but if a guy could cite some current rock/punk influences it would definitely interest me. )



Hi kml, we think a like..lol... My favorite pics are the ones that the dating sites thinks are a match for me. Most look like they are going for the bad boy look, or are in a retirement home. How in the world? And from far away places too. Clearly, some guys don't read the fine print and are just looking at the photos.

I love classic rock. And anything not by Disney... lol...


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
CanBird #2915356 02/19/21 12:09 AM
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There's nothing wrong with classic rock - it was a great era. But if somebody my age lists that as their only musical preference, it tells me he's one of those guys who hasn't listened to any new music since he got out of college. It's a weird phenomenon, but many people's musical tastes/interests seem to ossify at that age. I've never understood it - there's been so much good music made in the world since that time, how could you limit yourself to just the music of your youth? But it's such a common phenomenon that I figure there must be something biological in the brain that happens to those people.

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