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DejaVu6 Offline OP
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Thank you KML. Much appreciated. I will get on this. smile

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DejaVu6 Offline OP
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Hi All.

Thought it was time for an update. First off...S12 tested negative for CV19 so I got to work in my office on Friday and D12 went back to school. S12 waited until today to return as he still had a bit of a cough on Friday. Because of this and OW’s medical condition, I got to hang onto them for the weekend. We ended up having our missed Thanksgiving dinner last night. TDH is over so he made the turkey and stuffing and I made the rest of the main meal. My sister brought over dessert. It was a great time! Lots of laughs and way too much food. Afterwards, TDH jumped up from the table and started cleaning. I told him he really didn’t need to but he said...”DV. This is what I do. I like to cook for people and I like to clean the kitchen.” Seriously?!? Who likes to clean the kitchen? He also checked out the towel rack in my kids’ bathroom which has been hanging off the wall by a thread and tells me that the only way to fix it (because it has been moved at least once already apparently), is to replace the drywall and redo it. He said it is an easy fix and he is happy to do it for me on one of his visits.

Saturday was also a lot of fun. I bought Japanese food for everyone and we had a family games night. TDH has really fit in with my family. He is just really easy to be around. Before I started dating, I told myself that I wanted someone who is naturally helpful (not someone who needs me to ask him to do anything), open about his feelings, honest, passionate and crazy about me. Check, check, check, check and check. Early days still but so far, things are working out really, really well. He is such a family guy. He checks in daily with his kids and when he is home, he sees them almost daily even though they live with their mom and takes them out to do things. He is really good with my kids too. Yesterday, when my sister came over, he gave me some space to visit and went outside to shoot hoops with D12. He also spent some time with S12 listening to him go on and on about his video games and seemed genuinely interested as opposed to just giving him air time like most adults. S12 is sooo excited when he finds someone who is willing to talk to him about his games...lol.

My sister and I have started planning our Croatia trip at the end of next summer (assuming things with CV19 have settled). The only concern is that our other friend who is supposed to come with us has MS which has flared up recently. She has had some problems with her legs the last month or so and is using her wheelchair that she hasn’t used for 20 years. We are hoping that this is temporary but also aware that MS is a degenerative disease and this may be just the natural progression of things and a permanent change. So unfair. I cannot think of a nicer person than this friend. She does not deserve this terrible disease...not in the least. It s#cks.

Anyway...not much else to talk about. Life in DV’s world is pretty good for the most part. Hope all is well out there in DB Land. Stay safe everyone!! (((HUGS))) to all!!

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I’m very glad I was wrong and you didn’t take my advice

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DejaVu6 Offline OP
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Thanks G but, to be fair, you were not alone and it was pretty reasonable advice given how things started out. smile

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Update time...

TDH went back home last Thursday so was here for a week. Funny how quickly a week can go by. It was great to have him here and to have someone to come home to after work for those four days. He and SD20 have really formed a friendship and I have a hilarious video of them when she decided to give him a facial. There was a part where she put a towel over his face and ice cubes where his eyes were. His comments had both of us doubled over. She says she loves his energy and that he is such a “dad”. He is genuinely interested in other people, young or old, and that comes across. MIL really likes him too. He is almost flirty with her - she comes up the stairs and he greets her with “hey girlfriend” and she instantly smiles and laughs.

Since his return home, he has called or texted daily. He’s been spending a lot of quality time with his kids so it is usually in the morning and the evening that I hear from him with some short “hi” texts in between to let me know he is thinking about me. My kids are going back to their dad’s on Friday so I’m heading over to the mainland to spend time with him there. He really wants me to meet his kids and they apparently want to meet me too. Saturday is Hallowe’en so the plan is for us to take his daughter trick or treating (his son stopped going last year) and supposedly his ex is coming too.

I’m not sure how that is going to go. I think she is curious about me but from what he has said, not very happy that I am in the picture. She cheated on him and was in a relationship with OM for a couple years before he ended it over text on NYE (quality guy there) saying he didn’t want to be a step dad. This summer she found out he is engaged to a woman with kids so that news stung. Since then she hasn’t found anyone else and has come to rely on TDH to be there whenever she calls. So having him away for days at a time has been an adjustment and I think has probably caused her to look back on what it was she gave up... a loyal family-oriented guy who would give you the shirt off his back and who was 100% committed to his marriage. He’s still that guy only now his loyalties and love are focused on a different woman and I’m sure that stings a bit. Karma is a b*tch. I have told him that I am fine with whatever but also perfectly happy to find something else to do for a couple hours if he thinks it will be too awkward to have us both there. I’m happy to meet her as I have no issue with her at all but I’m not sure she is feeling the same way. Guess we will see...

The rest of my life is ticking along. Pretty worried about my friend with MS. She is getting intense steroid treatments for the next week and if that doesn’t help her, they are considering chemotherapy. My sister and I have been planning our trip with her to give her something to look forward to but I’m worried that we have set her up for a big disappointment. Really hoping this latest treatment makes a difference.

Time to get ready for work. (((HUGS))) to all!!

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Nice update. Glad things are going well. What about his son? Wasn't he freaking out about his dad coming to see you awhile back and now his dad is spending weeks at a time? That seems like a quick change. A good change, of course, if he's not freaking out anymore, but still pretty quick.


Me 52, H53
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Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
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Originally Posted by DejaVu6
This summer she found out he is engaged to a woman with kids so that news stung.
Hang on - What? What? You've been engaged since the summer or was this to someone else?


On BD
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D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
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No Andrew - her OM is engaged. To a woman with kids after he broke up with her because she had kids.

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Oh yeah - the ex-wife might be a problem. She is exactly at the point where she is wanting her ex to be on the shelf as her possible Plan B, probably realizing what a mess she made of it all, and you are in the way. And he's such a devoted dad, it's possible that she might step up her approach to him and he might feel he has to give it another try for the sake of the kids.

Not sure whether it's better to go - and see who you're dealing with (you know, keep your friends close and your enemies closer) OR to stay away and remain a mystery to her for a while longer so you don't trip that trigger of her suddenly realizing she's lost him and going into overdrive to get him back. Hmmmmm....

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Originally Posted by kml
No Andrew - her OM is engaged. To a woman with kids after he broke up with her because she had kids.



Wait...now I'm confused. I thought it was TDH's XW's OM who is engaged to a woman with kids after ditching TDH's XW because she has kids. Lord have mercy I need charts and graphs or something. LOL

For what it is worth, DV, I agree with kml that going to see what you are dealing with isn't a bad idea, if TDH thinks it is copacetic. Might give you better insight on how to handle her moving forward. Since she is the mother of his children, there will likely be some interaction between the two of you, if you and TDH are in it for the long haul.


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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