I'm a huge Rocky and Bullwinkle fan which is undoubtedly no surprise to anyone. I was horrified by what they did to the Sherman and Mr Peabody characters in that crappy reboot that had them doing a talk show. Interestingly the episode that they did about Winston Churchill which quite offended me, was in some ways accurate. He did have a number of "Mommy" issues. His signature blue polka-dotted bow tie was a tribute to his father. I have a very similar tie which required much hunting. Interestingly (to me) his former tailor sold a "Churchill" bow tie but for a purist like myself, I was offended that it had the wrong pattern.
It's one of my favourite ties. It's actually in my will that I want to be buried in that one.
It's been a while since I did a thread summary. My oh my - what a long and winding road we have been on. 46 threads of rambling nonsense by me and exasperated commentary by others.
If nothing else, I do win I think an award for creative thread titles.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Well - this might actually provide you and her an easy out, if she decides to try to live in the house (although that is a HORRIBLE IDEA as she will trash the place ,as already indicated by her eagerness to let her dog on the couch. Really? Instead of respecting her father in death, she's looking for a way to stick it to him??? ) At least if you told her now you would like her to move out, she has a place to go to.
If the will was "done up" by S without a lawyer it may well be useless. I don't know what your laws are in Canada. Here in the states, as I understand it (NOT a lawyer!) you basically have 3 options: Formal will done by a lawyer - always the best idea
Cheap will done through an online company like LegalZoom- there are companies that will do a basic will with boilerplate templates that might be ok for very simple wills IF executed properly.
A holographic will - not accepted in every state. To the best of my knowledge, it has to be handwritten (if typed it is invalidated) by the person whose will it is, and signed by them.
If the will divides everything 50:50 between S and her brother it probably won't be too difficult since that's how the law would split it anyway. If, on the other hand, S convinced her father to write a will that favored her, she can expect a fight in court over it.
It seems peculiar to me that her father, who was financially competent and fastidious in other ways, would have left his will to something drawn up by his daughter. If this wasn't recent, they should check to make sure there's not another, more recent will out there.
If there is life insurance money that should come soon. Also in the states retirement accounts have beneficiaries named and those can be distributed fairly quickly if you have all the information and the beneficiary forms were filled out properly. Bank accounts here may or may not have a "payable on death" beneficiary.
Sounds like the house will be the big issue, may have to go through probate, and the brother may fight her over her being in the house since he probably knows what a terrible housekeeper she is. But possession is 9/10 of the law, and if they haven't been close, maybe he doesn't know how bad she is?
In your shoes, I'd be secretly hoping she decides to live there and that would give you the out you want. If you find yourself hoping that too then I think that tells you what direction you will need to go in.
Filled out the intake form for the couples therapy session next week. I was surprised but also not that a description of the issues was asked for. I wrote a short novel. I felt bad pointing out that I am unhappy and why. But it is vital to be honest especially with the therapist. She can't help if she doesn't know but the negatives are so glaring while the positives really can't be seen.
Doing that form though at least means that I won't need to go in with my sheet that I'd been working on - nothing to kill the mood of cooperation than bullet points.
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Having the place to myself (and the cats and rabbits) was like having a weight lifted yesterday afternoon. I cleaned the living room - found lots of treasures under the couch cushions. I wasn't sure what needed to be done with the piles of clothes etc but they are folded and on a chair at least.
I got the last of the Thanksgiving left-overs dealt with too and gave the stove a nice scrub. Some dancing and singing while doing dishes was done. Then I drank some beer and watched a program on TV.
Not much news from S - they are going this afternoon to check about arrangements for her Dad. He wished to be cremated so that will simplify things quite a lot.
I don't expect her home tonight but then again, I could be wrong. I do actually expect her to be starting to split her time between here and there until the house sells which could be up to a year depending on a whole lot of factors that I don't understand. She has a lot of ties to that city both emotionally and practically.
On a more practical and positive note, I would expect that the insurance money at least may well allow for S to pay off her consolidation loan which will be a big load off the finances. It's an open loan so there's no penalty. I also expect that her Dad's car will go to her D19 who isn't working at present in part because she doesn't have a car. It's brand new and was still on the first tank of gas at Thanksgiving. I'm assuming that it's fully paid for.
The house feels weird right now. And my own mood is bouncing all over the place as well. One thing that I remarked on early in our relationship was how things appeared to just re-arrange themselves so that life's travails fell somewhat lightly on S. Perhaps this is that again.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I got the last of the Thanksgiving left-overs dealt with too and gave the stove a nice scrub. Some dancing and singing while doing dishes was done.
Andrew you are some woman's dream date! Someone who will dance and sing with you in the kitchen while cleaning up, and not days later after the meal either.
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On a more practical and positive note, I would expect that the insurance money at least may well allow for S to pay off her consolidation loan which will be a big load off the finances.
I would not just assume she would do something so financially reasonable. You will probably have to suggest it and perhaps apply a little pressure. She's probably expecting to leave you holding the bag for that as she has with past relationships and debt. I agree that this is a good opportunity to get her to pay that off.and try to find a way to persuade her that it is the best thing for HER to do that.
also, i've been wondering this since it was stated that S is not celiac, but gluten sensitive. Why can't she even smell beer???
I cry BS on that, unless a medical professional (ahem) sets me straight.
She is allergic to a "lot" of things. Alcohol is one of them and it causes a fairly bad reaction. So I drink dealcoholized (0.5%) beer most of the time. It's decent but not the same as my regular favourites and she has no issue other than not really caring for the smell which reduces the smooch transmission too. Scotch and rum are right out because of the fumes as is wine. It's a bad enough allergy that it could be fatal. She also has allergies to most pain meds.
Originally Posted by kml
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I got the last of the Thanksgiving left-overs dealt with too and gave the stove a nice scrub. Some dancing and singing while doing dishes was done.
Andrew you are some woman's dream date! Someone who will dance and sing with you in the kitchen while cleaning up, and not days later after the meal either.
The only problem is that I prefer to do the dishes on my own but do welcome dance partners. My cats used to know to avoid the kitchen at those times
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Who ever is the presumed ex, you do realise that he may bring this inheritance in the Divorce, right? She will not procede with the D now. She has too much to lose.
Actually who knows what the law is in Canada but here in the states, so long as you keep your inheritance separate (i.e. separate back account, not in a joint account) it remains to the person who inherited it and isn't considered joint marital property in a divorce.
