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Originally Posted by tom_h
A woman's sex drive is always strongest when she wants a man, or wants a child with a man. A woman's sex drive usually (not always) wanes after having children. Male LBS are always susceptible to this trap.

Holy cow.


Me (46) H (42)
M:14 T:18, D9 & D11
4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs
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I will say this again.

A woman’s sex drive wanes when the guy isn’t doing anything to rev it up.

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Originally Posted by may22
Originally Posted by tom_h
A woman's sex drive is always strongest when she wants a man, or wants a child with a man. A woman's sex drive usually (not always) wanes after having children. Male LBS are always susceptible to this trap.

Holy cow.

I disagree with that. Making a woman feel loved and appreciated can keep her sex drive alive. And every woman is different too.
My ex wife never had a sex drive at the beginning, during or trying to have children. It never existed. My ex was also a virgin when I met her at 21. Just was something she never care about. Then I meet my GF and holy cow, it was non stop, I could barely keep up. So like I said, every woman is different.

This weekend was a great weekend. Everything went well. We cleaned up and out the house. No issues a lot of laughs and love. It felt great. Let’s see if this stays.
I have a different concern here. Completely different. How my kids will take the news when I tell them my GF is pregnant. And when I should tell them?


M:42 XW:41
T:19 M: 15
D:13 S:10
BD: 8/10/18
Moved out: 8/18
Moved in: 9/18/18
Moved out: 4/22/19
D papers signed 11/4/19
D final 3/18/20
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
I will say this again.

A woman’s sex drive wanes when the guy isn’t doing anything to rev it up.


THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

A woman's sex drive wanes when the guy is also a selfish jerkface that isn't meeting her needs, even if she feels stuck with him in a crappy,. loveless marriage.

My W's current sex drive is proof that if the H is putting in the energy to the relationship then her sex drive will follow suit! I was in a SSM for a longtime because I stopped being there for her emotionally, making her feel special, making her feel desirable and wanted, doing my part.

Guys, never stop dating your W. PERIOD. When you take her for granted, yeah her sex drive will wane.


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Originally Posted by Wolfman
Originally Posted by may22
Originally Posted by tom_h
A woman's sex drive is always strongest when she wants a man, or wants a child with a man. A woman's sex drive usually (not always) wanes after having children. Male LBS are always susceptible to this trap.

Holy cow.

I disagree with that. Making a woman feel loved and appreciated can keep her sex drive alive. And every woman is different too.
My ex wife never had a sex drive at the beginning, during or trying to have children. It never existed. My ex was also a virgin when I met her at 21. Just was something she never care about. Then I meet my GF and holy cow, it was non stop, I could barely keep up. So like I said, every woman is different.

This weekend was a great weekend. Everything went well. We cleaned up and out the house. No issues a lot of laughs and love. It felt great. Let’s see if this stays.
I have a different concern here. Completely different. How my kids will take the news when I tell them my GF is pregnant. And when I should tell them?


WM, that is not going to be an easy discussion. And the longer you wait the harder it will be. So yes you need to tell them ASAP.

I will go back on record here as saying that this pregnancy doesn't mean you should also make the mistake of committing to this woman long-term. I don't remember how you know she is pregnant. Did she tell you? Did you see the test for yourself? The timing of "I am breaking up with you" "Oh, I am pregnant" smells fishy to me. You will always be this child's father, that doesn't mean you have to be her husband.


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Originally Posted by Steve85
Originally Posted by Wolfman
Originally Posted by may22
Originally Posted by tom_h
A woman's sex drive is always strongest when she wants a man, or wants a child with a man. A woman's sex drive usually (not always) wanes after having children. Male LBS are always susceptible to this trap.

Holy cow.

I disagree with that. Making a woman feel loved and appreciated can keep her sex drive alive. And every woman is different too.
My ex wife never had a sex drive at the beginning, during or trying to have children. It never existed. My ex was also a virgin when I met her at 21. Just was something she never care about. Then I meet my GF and holy cow, it was non stop, I could barely keep up. So like I said, every woman is different.

This weekend was a great weekend. Everything went well. We cleaned up and out the house. No issues a lot of laughs and love. It felt great. Let’s see if this stays.
I have a different concern here. Completely different. How my kids will take the news when I tell them my GF is pregnant. And when I should tell them?


WM, that is not going to be an easy discussion. And the longer you wait the harder it will be. So yes you need to tell them ASAP.

I will go back on record here as saying that this pregnancy doesn't mean you should also make the mistake of committing to this woman long-term. I don't remember how you know she is pregnant. Did she tell you? Did you see the test for yourself? The timing of "I am breaking up with you" "Oh, I am pregnant" smells fishy to me. You will always be this child's father, that doesn't mean you have to be her husband.


I saw the sonogram. And she has an appointment with the gyno Nov. 2 and I am going. I felt that way too, it was a little fishy at first, but once I saw the sonogram I felt it was real. The whole committed thing has me going back and forth. I feel like I should as a man and now a father again. It’s tough. I feel like I am too quick to run. With my ex, I am the one at first that suggested a little “time off”. That I would move out for her to clear her head and in the back of my mind teach her a lesson on how much I do and how much she will miss out on. Well that completely backfired because I got divorced. I don’t want to run, at least right away. I want to to know I have exhausted every possibility to make it work. And if then it’s still not working, then, yes we will have to break up.


M:42 XW:41
T:19 M: 15
D:13 S:10
BD: 8/10/18
Moved out: 8/18
Moved in: 9/18/18
Moved out: 4/22/19
D papers signed 11/4/19
D final 3/18/20
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Originally Posted by Wolfman

I saw the sonogram. And she has an appointment with the gyno Nov. 2 and I am going. I felt that way too, it was a little fishy at first, but once I saw the sonogram I felt it was real. The whole committed thing has me going back and forth. I feel like I should as a man and now a father again. It’s tough. I feel like I am too quick to run. With my ex, I am the one at first that suggested a little “time off”. That I would move out for her to clear her head and in the back of my mind teach her a lesson on how much I do and how much she will miss out on. Well that completely backfired because I got divorced. I don’t want to run, at least right away. I want to to know I have exhausted every possibility to make it work. And if then it’s still not working, then, yes we will have to break up.


It is your life. As I stated before, I've seen dozens of marriages start like this. Woman gets pregnant, man feels obligated. They get married only to have a very rocky marriage, and the vast majority end in D. Just think long and hard about it because being this baby's father doesn't mean you have to be its mother's husband. You already know that with your other kids. I guess what I am saying is do not follow 1 mistake (getting her pregnant) with another (marrying her).

One last question...how long after the breakup did she produce the sonogram?


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Steve, I am pretty sure it’s the other way around on the timing.

She told Wolf she was pregnant and a week or so later, he broke up with her.


Me: 44
H: 44
Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10
Together/Married: 22 years
H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16
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Originally Posted by Rose888
Steve, I am pretty sure it’s the other way around on the timing.

She told Wolf she was pregnant and a week or so later, he broke up with her.


That is correct Rose.


M:42 XW:41
T:19 M: 15
D:13 S:10
BD: 8/10/18
Moved out: 8/18
Moved in: 9/18/18
Moved out: 4/22/19
D papers signed 11/4/19
D final 3/18/20
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Originally Posted by Wolfman
Originally Posted by Rose888
Steve, I am pretty sure it’s the other way around on the timing.

She told Wolf she was pregnant and a week or so later, he broke up with her.


That is correct Rose.


And he told us he broke up with her before he told us she was pregnant.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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