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#2904475 09/25/20 01:03 PM
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AndrewP Offline OP
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It is the season when random woodland creatures think that coming into my house is a good idea. Training them to do house-hold chores can be difficult. So far none of them have asked where the broom is.
Quote
If you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to ask for a glass of milk.
When you give him the milk, he'll probably ask you for a straw.
When he's finished, he'll ask you for a napkin.
Then he'll want to look in a mirror to make sure he doesn't have a milk mustache.
When he looks in the mirror, he might notice his hair needs a trim.
So he'll probably ask for a pair of nail scissors.
When he's finished giving himself a trim, he'll want a broom to sweep it up.
He'll start sweeping.
He might get carried away and sweep every room in the house.
He may even end up washing the floors as well!
When he's done, he'll probably want to take a nap.
You'll have to fix up a little box for him with a blanket and a pillow.
He'll crawl in, make himself comfortable and fluff the pillow a few times.
He'll probably ask you to read him a story.
So you'll read to him from one of your books, and he'll ask to see the pictures.
When he looks at the pictures, he'll get so excited he'll want to sign his name with a pen.
Then he'll want to hang his picture on your refrigerator.
Which means he'll need Scotch tape.
He'll hang up his drawing and stand back to look at it.
Looking at the refrigerator will remind him that he's thirsty.
So... he'll ask for a glass of milk.
And chances are if he asks you for a glass of milk, he's going to want a cookie to go with it.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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rodenticide poisoning affects the food chain, meaning raptors and lovely woodland creatures who cannot go to McD's for a happy meal, so rely on the creatures eating the rodenticide as their meals. They die a horrible death of internal bleeding.

Mice hate the smell of mint. Please consider using mint essential oils on cotton balls in the basement where they are coming in as a deterrent. You will need to refresh periodically, but it will work and will not harm anyone - especially if you keep the other pets (cats especially) away from the exposed essential oils.

I read your final post on the parrot thread. All I can say is that I'm truly sorry you don't seem to have a refuge of your own in your home. Perhaps find a way to carve out something that remains sacrosanct, like a home office that no one else can come into without you being there and saying it's ok???


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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AndrewP Offline OP
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Thanks bttrfly. I regard poison as a weapon of last resort. I don't use herbicides even. My lawn has a high amount of biodiversity including tiny little strawberries in season. Or as others would call it - weeds. For my driveway I have a "weed dragon" that S has told me I'm not allowed to use as the boys would think it too exciting. In other spots I use a concoction based on acetic acid which makes the walkway smell like a fish and chip shop. Given this year's chaos, I've done some hand-pulling but that's about it.

There is no practical way to prevent the mice from coming in to the house but after 30 years I know their patterns. They come in through the north wall and congregate around the sump pump there which is an easy source for water for them. Generally they do seem to expire in the cellar when poisoned and stink rather badly when they do. I do worry about an ill mouse coming upstairs especially.

S is strongly against the use of poisons as well. But this is one place where I put my foot down. S and I had an argument in the summer about the number of flies that were in the house. Again - a problem I never had before. I eventually traced the problem to the kitchen compost where a significant amount of food waste is getting tossed. I wanted to use a poison to eliminate the flies as my home-made traps weren't working. S insisted on a fly strip which I felt was much crueler as it is so slow. Moving the compost barrel and then hunting down the puir flies with a swatter was my end result although a fly strip was obliged to be installed and it did catch a few.

S did have a significant fly problem in her apartment which she largely blamed (rightly) on S18's rabbits. She said she had the occasional mouse which she assumed the cats dealt with. There were certainly opportunities galore for a foraging species there. Her apartment was in the middle of an urban block without other residential around it nor green spaces so I think that helped keep the unwanted tenants out.

While I recognize that the end that the critters who are poisoned is also cruel and yes, worry about the result on the food chain, I don't see any other reasonable approach. I will certainly look in to using mint though as I would rather the mice just find somewhere else to live. Even yellow-jackets if they're not bothering me, I leave alone. Some come into the house from time to time and I wrap them up in a tissue and shoo them back outside. Among other parts of my anatomy I do believe that I have a soft and squishy heart wink

I've not had a mouse upstairs for years in part because of the deterrent effect of the cats but also because all food was stored in sealed containers. Certainly nothing left out overnight and any mess cleaned up promptly. Now there are accessible bags and boxes and she and the boys do seem to create a fair amount of crumbs. I figure it's only a matter of time before they get into the pantry contents. The few that did come in never made it out of the cellar and I would presume expired down there. I'd find 2 or 3 each year and smell a few that I would never find. Even when my ex was here in the later years, mice were rare.

As a laugh - years ago we used to keep pasta in plastic bags on the pantry shelves in the cellar. The bags were raided and we changed to sealed containers. Then at Christmas when I pulled the decorations out of their cardboard box out also came a huge amount of pasta that the critters had stored in there. I thought it rather funny but also clever of the wee creatures to set up their own pantry.

I'm going to take the approach that I miss the days when I had so much pride in the house. S assures me that we'll get back there.

I do have my own separate office which lately has had a futon and TV added and is where S hangs out separate from the boys in the evening. S13 has made an attempt to take this space over but I've shooed him out.

We'll see how this all turns out. Perhaps instructive to the others there watching me and my choices and struggles. It does help me to vent safely(ish) here. Sometimes I find the perceived negativity here colouring my IRL self.

More and more I get the feeling that this is just an interlude. There are some fundamental issues that I can see that have led to S's past relationships failing. She's not dealt with any of those as far as I can tell putting the onus on poor partner choices. How this would end I don't know. I do still clearly remember B recognizing that what was happening wasn't good for either of us and that she had work to do and things to take care of that prevented her from being as present in the relationship as she could have been. And I too learned that I needed to be flexible and accommodating, but only to a point.

On the other hand, I am generally a very positive and optimistic person who believes that with hard work and effort that you can achieve nearly any worth-while goal.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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Originally Posted by AndrewP

More and more I get the feeling that this is just an interlude. There are some fundamental issues that I can see that have led to S's past relationships failing. She's not dealt with any of those as far as I can tell putting the onus on poor partner choices. How this would end I don't know. I do still clearly remember B recognizing that what was happening wasn't good for either of us and that she had work to do and things to take care of that prevented her from being as present in the relationship as she could have been. And I too learned that I needed to be flexible and accommodating, but only to a point.

On the other hand, I am generally a very positive and optimistic person who believes that with hard work and effort that you can achieve nearly any worth-while goal.


Andrew, are you saying that the current issues are just an interlude, or the relationship is?
Forgive my lack of reading comprehension.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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I agree, with hard work and effort mostly anything can be accomplished.

However, in a relationship and cohabitation situation both sides need to put for the hard work and effort. One side can’t carry it all.

I hope she decides that hard work and effort is collaborative and something she wants to do

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Hey Andrew,
I wanted to let you know I'm still here reading along. I miss reading your excitement about upcoming meal plans and eagerness to tackle the first weekend of the month chores. You made huge progress with creating your own life and that seems to have all tumbled down with this big move. I hope you can find yourself again amidst the chaos.

♥ dream

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I’m sorry - what functioning adult over 35 leaves dirty dishes and food out in the kitchen before going to bed???

I say this as someone who is NOT a clean freak and a bit prone to leaving piles of things around the house. But seriously, they were all adults there (except grandson) couldn’t each one have washed their own plate and silverware and S washed the pots? Or at a bare minimum put the dishes in to soak overnight and put the food away???

I’d make it clear that you expect all the dishes to be done and at least in the dish drainer and good put away before bed.

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dream!!!!! - [squeals like a little girl and runs over with a hug]
Originally Posted by dream
Hey Andrew,
I wanted to let you know I'm still here reading along. I miss reading your excitement about upcoming meal plans and eagerness to tackle the first weekend of the month chores. You made huge progress with creating your own life and that seems to have all tumbled down with this big move. I hope you can find yourself again amidst the chaos.

<3 dream

How are you and the boys doing? Staying safe and sane I would hope. If memory serves they are both of school age now?

Yes - some of the things that brought me a lot of Joy are absent. Cooking, cleaning, spending time in the garden, going for really long walks. I also miss beer, a nice bottle of wine, a good single-malt scotch.

I remember having a discussion with Jack_Three_Beans here - it seems like forever ago - on one of my primary drivers and motivations. It's pride. It still is. And I think in one word that sums up why I feel like I'm living under a cloud. I am still proud of "me" and who I am but am living my life under a bushel.

Oddly this has prompted me to pull out my Bible for the second time in this past week. I'm not particularly religious - I figure that God has a lot going on and that I should just take care of me and mine and let Him worry about the universe - if there is such an entity at all.

For a bit of trivia, my parents were non-religious although Mother was raised Catholic. For a short time I attended a tiny little church in a hamlet about 5 miles away. Some friends of my parents attended there and took me hoping perhaps that religion would "stick" as did a number of my cousins. I was very keen and actually did over time read the entire Bible from cover to cover. It's a fabulous Book and is filled with great stories. I was disillusioned during a very memorable Sunday School session where the young lady running it described to me a city paved with gold and asked me if I would want to live there. I said no - in my young mind and certainly in my older one, Paradise is open fields, rolling hills, little streams and bright sunshine. She told me I was stupid and wrong and everyone laughed at me. THAT was the moment that my Faith died. I was probably 6 or 7 at the time.

My Bible is from the Canadian Bible Society. I don't see a print date but it would have been sometime in the mid 1960s. I've kept it safe for a very long time. It still has my attendance cards from Sunday School in it.

Anyhoodles - I always turn everything into a story. I looked up the reference to bushels which I did not know the origin of and came across this:

Originally Posted by Luke 11:33
No man, when he hath lighted a candle, putteth it in a secret place, neither under a bushel, but on a candle-stick, that they which come in may see the light.

The light of the body is the eye, therefore when thine eye is single, they whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body is full of darkness.
Take heed therefor that the light which is in thee be not darkness


I think I'm going to spend a bunch of time in the garden today.

Happy weekend all.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 6,119
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this might sound odd.
but - it came to me, and odd as it sounds in my head, I'm gonna share it anyway:

perhaps this is God's way of bringing you closer to Him/Her.

just a random thought as I read your update. I hope the time spent in the garden was refreshing.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 4,645
Likes: 472
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Hello Andrew

Originally Posted by AndrewP
I figure that God has a lot going on and that I should just take care of me and mine and let Him worry about the universe - if there is such an entity at all.

Rest assured God does exist.

Not to debate an entity or not. His existence - belief makes real. God lives in the actions and kindness of people; caring friends and family, a helpful stranger. He lives within the individual and within the collective millions/billions of people who believe.

For what it’s worth, I also prefer your version of paradise over the streets paved with gold. That young lad of 6 or 7 showed much wisdom.

You, my friend, are a kind man, who has lived a good life. Perhaps, your faith is not as absent as you think. Faith is not all about attending church and praying. Faith is a way of life.

Don’t worry, I’m not here to get you to believe in God. You already do.

D


Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.
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