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#2904504 09/25/20 06:52 PM
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Gigi123 Offline OP
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Quick recap

H ended things in march as we went into lockdown, lived together for 2 months And i asked him to leave.
H with ow but not living together, i m pretty sure still together.

The usual was stuff and now 6 months in house going up for sale. H cant pay for house and his rental (i dont know where that is yet)

Im ok, day to day fairly detached, get an emotional day here and there (swear its hormones!) but generally getting on with life as best as possible with all the restrictions. Still affected by h occasionally, looking forward to it ending, feel very much still in limbo. Cant imagine recon once we sell the house and go our separate ways.

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Originally Posted by Gigi123
Quick recap

H ended things in march as we went into lockdown, lived together for 2 months And i asked him to leave.
H with ow but not living together, i m pretty sure still together.

The usual was stuff and now 6 months in house going up for sale. H cant pay for house and his rental (i dont know where that is yet)

Im ok, day to day fairly detached, get an emotional day here and there (swear its hormones!) but generally getting on with life as best as possible with all the restrictions. Still affected by h occasionally, looking forward to it ending, feel very much still in limbo. Cant imagine recon once we sell the house and go our separate ways.


Hang in there. Putting the house up for sale must be brutal.

I'm able to keep my home - its lovely, but its 2000sqft of emptiness now that my son is off to college. Maybe a new house would be a new start? But, I could not imagine packing up all my stuff and hauling it anywhere.

Interesting fact - if I am able to recon with my H it will mean selling my house and moving to where he currently lives... weird huh? You see yourself wondering how recon will happen if your house is gone and I know if I recon my house will definitely have to go! Maybe that will help you see that recon and M2.0 could start in a fresh place free of bad mojo?

Well I think we both get ahead of ourselves. smile Who knows if R is in the cards for either of us.

Just know that you seem to have it so much more together than me. Strength is attractive... remember you are only in competition with yourself, not her. Focus on yourself. Be the best you for you and your kids. Keep living your life and pay no attention to him. He will notice... but the hard part is they don't say anything for the longest time. And, if and when they do it comes out as ANGER. Don't get sucked into the anger. Realize that anger comes from pain. Your spouse is really hurting... right or wrong it is how they are feeling.

6mo isn't that long. I'm approaching 7mo now. I will say that the anger is gone and that bothers me a bit because its indifference that is the opposite of love.

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ts funny kk i rarely actually think about recon, not because i do t want my family together, but because i want H to be someone who he isnt at the moment or ever was?!?!
The house stuff is stressful and mainly because i have no family here and he has always had my back, i think its difficult to lose that.
I dont love the house, its too big for me to maintain with work and boys, but i love what it represented and boys see it as home!
S6 said it so clearly, it will be exciting to stay at papas house, but we live here, papa chose to leave. Very profound for a 6 year old. Whatever i buy i want to make sure its not too big and ok for me to maintain and live life. I dont want to stay here and have nothing to spare at the end of the month.
I know that recon can happen wherever i live really, it wouldnt matter and as H is renting at the moment and said he plans to for the foreseeable future, if he wanted back and i was still in a place where i was interested he would just give up his rental place. I mean im thinking in absolutes here, i made it very clear that i wont be moving unless i have something lined upfor me and the boys and only if the offer on our house is suitable.
You are right though 6 months is nothing, i think it feels lengthy for me because of all the turmoil and im emotionally drained and just when i recover there is something else.

Its the same for everyone really.
H is coming to see the boys today at the house and has suggested i leave so he can spend some time with the kids without me here. He said you are always here....which is
Sort of true because im working from home, so whenever he comes round during tue day to like pick something up im here. I made plans for some of the time anyway.

I occasionally feel irritated with him, but not angry, i prefer not to have him around.

Hope you are keeping well

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So you all tell me how i should react? A parcel just came for my h, its from a womens brand that sells Skimpy dreSses.

Its OWs birthday sometime beginning of october, so he basically just had her present delivered to the house where me and boys live! I mean i just find it mind boggling!

I was very tempted to just bin it and tell him nothing bloody arrived. Or txt him to say i tried it on but its a big for me, sorry smile

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wow... just wow...

My gut reaction is to trash it...

He doesn't live there right? I'd leave it on the porch then and hope the porch pirates show up and its stolen.

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Agreed... I'm sure there are people who are able to kindly hold onto it and give it to him, or send it along, but I would probably just leave it outside too. That is pretty gross.


Me (45) H (41)
M:13 T:17, D8 & D11
4/19 BD #1 ILYB
8/19 BD #2 Long-distance EA
12/19 BD #3 Actually 2 year PA
2-5/20 R attempt #1
6/20 limbo again, back in contact with AP
9/20-present R attempt #2
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Its pretty gross i agree, it just shows hiw tacky their A is, the brand of clothes is incredibly tacky, i sort if hope she us getting something else as a present. Is it strange that it didnt trigger a huge emotional response?!

Am i successfully detaching?! Is this how it feels? Like indifference?!

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Jeez i think i am detaching! I didnt do anything, he picked the kids from school, came over, bathed them, had dinner with them (never does that!) asked about the parcel. I just calmly said i have put it away and thats that.

I Dont want To build Up more resentment In me towards him,so im just letting it go, because thats better for me!

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Its been a week since the convo around putting the house on the market, i think he is away as its ows birthday, im sure its not his priority, life feels in a bit of limbo, but all things out of my control.

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