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Gigi123 Offline OP
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I agree, i sat on it for a bit, just asked if everything was ok casually And he said yes, so that means he doesnt need help and if he wanted something surely he would ask.......

But yes he is a grown man and actually has other options where to stay, he has his family not far away.

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Kids are so much smarter than we give them credit for. LBSs always worry about whether or not kids will know which parent is at fault. They will. Even if not right away.


M(52), W(53),D(17)
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Question re school

Did you let the school know whats happening? Today s6 said in front of headteacher oh thats my papa he doesnt live with us anymore. H picked up the kids from school. Obv headteacher came over straight away and asked if there is anything the school can support with, and my h said that he doesnt live with us because of work. When dropping the kids off just said he didnt know if that was ok and if I wanted to tell the school the truth.

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Why is this the school's business?


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Gigi123 Offline OP
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Good point, its a tiny village school and s6 obviously speaks about it openly so will raise questions, i guess they are trying to be helpful in case if he is struggling.

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Personally I wouldn't tell them anything unless your son's grades start to suffer. Then I would let the teacher know that there is stress at home. But then I tend to be a very private person.


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Gigi123 Offline OP
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Im incredibly private too but i also dont like lying to people and if the teacher approached me and asked i would say something like yes H and i are separated.

Just feels a bit stupid now that he has said that he is not living with us because of work.

Last edited by Gigi123; 09/23/20 03:37 PM.
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I told preschool but not D6's school.
I will probably tell school when everything is final.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
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I think if the teacher approaches me and asks then i will do, if not leave it be unless there is an issue.

I find it strange that he didnt just say it how it is, this is reality.


I have another question re h birthday.

His birthday Is on the same day as S6, well we have a holiday booked abroad for their birthdays, but obviously H isnt going. I wont be buying him a present obviously, however a card from the kids appropriate? And a happy birthday when the kids facetime him on the day?

The thing is he is very amicable and i know some of his behaviours are extreme or well strange to me. Financially he Has gone without to make sure that we are ok. Its not to say that i think he is a decent bloke, no i think he has done a pretty terrible thing to his family.

I was wondering if he was Temp checking today, he asked what are weekend plans where, and as i explained what they were he said he would like to se the boys on saturday afternoon, but recognises that i dont want him hanging about tue house all the time. I said no problem, great i can make plans. No idea if it was genuine or whether he doesnt want me here or wants to understand if i want him here, matters not, im free for the afternoon!

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House going up for sale hopefully next week. Its sad but needed. Im in the process of looking at properties to buy for me and the boys. Its another step towards a total split of everything. I dont see recon on the cards any longer, i wonder if any reconed after splitting all assets. I just need to make sure the kids and i are ok.

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