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A Message from Michele
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Re: An Introduction [Re: SJay62] #2903526
09/10/20 11:59 PM
09/10/20 11:59 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 16,220
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kml Offline
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kml  Offline
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K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 16,220
Sounds like you're in a good position then to do some dating. It's not an irreversible decision you know - if you don't like it, you can stop dating.

Re: An Introduction [Re: SJay62] #2903632
09/12/20 12:18 PM
09/12/20 12:18 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 3,849
Massachusetts
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bttrfly Offline
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i have always found kml's advice to be very well thought out and helpful. just saying. we're talking about coffee, or lunch, or dinner, not the rest of your life. none of these choices are irreversible, so why not just dip your toe in? xoxoxo keep posting.


M 20+ T25+
S 15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
H moved out 4/24/15
D Final 12/23/16
When God gives you a new beginning don't repeat the same old mistakes. It's 2020, anything could happen; eat dessert first!!!!
Re: An Introduction [Re: SJay62] #2903637
09/12/20 02:19 PM
09/12/20 02:19 PM
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,674
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DejaVu6 Offline
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Welcome SJ. Nice to have someone new join us in this forum. I have been on lots of internet dates and have found the vast majority to have been pretty fun. Most of the guys were appeared to be who they said they were. Definitely preferred it to sitting at home but I am not an introvert. Never really considered myself an extrovert either but maybe compared to some people I am. Anyway... I have found being here after divorce just as helpful as I did before divorce. I hope you do too. (((HUGS)))


Me 51
H 46
B/G Twins 11
SD19
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019
Divorce final - November 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018

Re: An Introduction [Re: SJay62] #2904014
09/17/20 12:33 AM
09/17/20 12:33 AM
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 9
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SJay62 Offline OP
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SJay62  Offline OP
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Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 9
Thank you all for the comments.

I've taken the advice given and I have a coffee date set up for this Saturday morning. I don't know much other than he is divorced once and his second wife died of breast cancer a little over a year ago.

I'll post if there is anything remarkable.

Re: An Introduction [Re: SJay62] #2904022
09/17/20 03:40 AM
09/17/20 03:40 AM
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,674
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DejaVu6 Offline
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Good luck SJ. I hope it goes well. smile


Me 51
H 46
B/G Twins 11
SD19
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019
Divorce final - November 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018

Re: An Introduction [Re: SJay62] #2906643
10/24/20 09:56 PM
10/24/20 09:56 PM
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 9
S
SJay62 Offline OP
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SJay62  Offline OP
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Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 9
Just a brief update:

I did indeed meet this gentleman for coffee. Very nice guy but no immediate attraction. He reminded me a little of Nicholas Cage which is neither good nor bad. We've had an additional two dates because I didn't want to be hasty just because the attraction wasn't immediate. We didn't have much in common. I'm outdoorsy and if the weather is decent, I can be found outside and he likes to watch sports on TV. He's retired and I'm still working. Perhaps the biggest difference became apparent quickly. He is looking to find another wife which I don't have a desire to be, at least not for the foreseeable future.

I don't know if it was the aura of neediness that bothered me or the feeling of pressure when being in his company but I told him that I didn't think we were a match and he agreed.

So, it's back to the drawing board for now.

Thanks for listening.

Re: An Introduction [Re: SJay62] #2906759
Yesterday at 08:55 PM
Yesterday at 08:55 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 16,220
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kml Offline
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SJ -
Good job getting your toes wet. MOST people won't be a match, it takes time to find a good fit, and that went exactly as it should - you were open to the possibility, but as soon as you learned a little more, recognized you weren't a fit. Good job!

Re: An Introduction [Re: SJay62] #2906779
12 hours ago
12 hours ago
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,674
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DejaVu6 Offline
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Even though he was not a match, it sounds as if the experience was reasonably pleasant which is what most of my dates have been. I think I went out with five or six first dates before I met my boyfriend. It was worth it. As KML said... good for you for taking the risk. smile


Me 51
H 46
B/G Twins 11
SD19
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019
Divorce final - November 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018

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