or CALL 303-444-7004 to get started right away!

 

 


A Divorce Busting® Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.


Save your marriage singlehandedly!
Divorce Busting Telephone Coaching DISCOUNT
SAVE$30 -- 3-SESSIONS for ONLY $360
- valid until September 30

CALL 303-444-7004
or to order online at the Divorce Busting Store
use code SAVE$30

A Message from Michele
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Bluebird #2903736
09/14/20 04:37 PM
09/14/20 04:37 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,552
D
Dawn70 Offline OP
Member
Dawn70  Offline OP
Member
D
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,552
I noticed that my thread is nearing 100 posts so I thought I would go ahead and start a new thread. I don't tend to go through them terribly fast, so I could probably ride the other one out for a while, but I just feel like turning over a new leaf, so to speak. For those who need to catch up on the thrilling adventures of Dawn and Sparky in the face of all things 'Rona, feel free to check out the last thread below:

https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2889700#Post2889700


Life continues to click along in this new normal and I'm so not a fan though I'm trying to get my attitude right. I have found that to be a challenge of late, mainly because morale is lower than the basement of H3ll at work right now with all the budget issues and people waiting for the inevitable shoe drop of permanent furloughs and other such depressing consequences that we are all paying for someone else's inability to manage money effectively. I have heard it a metaphor applied to the whole corona, mask, quarantine business that also applies to our work budget situation and it is that both situations are like one kid getting in trouble and causing the whole class to be kept inside for recess on a sunny day. (I guess that is technically a simile, since I used the word like, but whatever....y'all get my point.)

Sparky has been in a bit of a funk lately, so it has been interesting because he has battled depression demons for years and it is a bit hard for me to know what moves to make when he is in that place. Sometimes he likes to talk about it and sometimes he'd rather just play his video game and be left alone and it is kind of hard to tell which is which since he isn't one to talk about his feelings a lot in the first place. It is nothing that we can't navigate, but it can be a challenge at times. I really have to work to not let it affect my mood. I hit my breaking point at work Friday afternoon and sent a fairly unprofessional email to my colleagues. Several of them reached out to me to check on me after I sent it because they said it was so unlike me. My boss even called this morning to check on me and said he'd thought about checking Friday, but knowing me, thought I might need to just sit with where I was Friday for a bit before talking. He DOES know me. LOL Friday, I likely would've unloaded months of pent up frustration on him if he had asked and not one iota of it was anything that he could do anything about but he still would've heard it if he'd asked, so I'm fairly glad he didn't.

I think the thing that best sums up where my attitude is lately is that I have a mammogram scheduled for Wednesday and I'm actually looking forward to voluntarily going and getting a rather sensitive part of my body mashed in a big machine rather than coming to work. Yikes! But, it is what it is, you know. Which is exactly what I said to my boss this morning and he totally got it.

I suppose I should get back to it. I have to prep my online assignment for next week, now that I have this week's posted and waiting for students to ignore it and tell me they can't figure it out or can't even log in to get to it. It is going to be a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG semester.


Me 50, H51
3 adult daughters from XH's first marriage (plus 4 grandkids)
Divorce final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
2 adult daughters from current H's previous relationships
Re: Bluebird [Re: Dawn70] #2903742
09/14/20 04:54 PM
09/14/20 04:54 PM
Joined: Aug 2019
Posts: 235
R
rooskers Offline
Member
rooskers  Offline
Member
R
Joined: Aug 2019
Posts: 235
Quote
Life continues to click along in this new normal and I'm so not a fan though I'm trying to get my attitude right.


I agree 100% and could have written this sentence myself. The question is how do we create a mental mindset that is more positive. If you find the answer please let me know but in the meantime remember someone is listening even if you can't see me or if I am hardly ever replying on this forum I am reading and praying. For me at least it is comforting to know someone else cares even if they don't know me personally.


1st BD December 26, 2008
PA admitted to by XW December 29, 2008

2nd BD May 23, 2019
Daughter confirms EA
Divorce Finalized July 18, 2019
Re: Bluebird [Re: Dawn70] #2903757
09/14/20 06:59 PM
09/14/20 06:59 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,304
Canada
A
AndrewP Offline
Member
AndrewP  Offline
Member
A
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,304
Canada
((Dawn))

I cleared out a rambling post because I think that a hug is what's needed instead of advice that you already know.

Take care of yourself and I hope that the boob smashing on Wednesday is uneventful. Maybe paint them up with glitter to give the techs a bit of a thrill? laugh They'd probably just complain that you are messing up their calibration though.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Bluebird [Re: rooskers] #2903867
09/15/20 07:19 PM
09/15/20 07:19 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,552
D
Dawn70 Offline OP
Member
Dawn70  Offline OP
Member
D
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,552
Originally Posted by rooskers
Quote
Life continues to click along in this new normal and I'm so not a fan though I'm trying to get my attitude right.


I agree 100% and could have written this sentence myself. The question is how do we create a mental mindset that is more positive. If you find the answer please let me know but in the meantime remember someone is listening even if you can't see me or if I am hardly ever replying on this forum I am reading and praying. For me at least it is comforting to know someone else cares even if they don't know me personally.


I'm working hard on that positive mindset, but sadly, I think I'm failing more than succeeding. I'm still trying, though, so I guess that is something. If I find the magic solution, I'll certainly share it.


Me 50, H51
3 adult daughters from XH's first marriage (plus 4 grandkids)
Divorce final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
2 adult daughters from current H's previous relationships
Re: Bluebird [Re: AndrewP] #2903868
09/15/20 07:21 PM
09/15/20 07:21 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,552
D
Dawn70 Offline OP
Member
Dawn70  Offline OP
Member
D
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,552
Originally Posted by AndrewP
((Dawn))

I cleared out a rambling post because I think that a hug is what's needed instead of advice that you already know.

Take care of yourself and I hope that the boob smashing on Wednesday is uneventful. Maybe paint them up with glitter to give the techs a bit of a thrill? laugh They'd probably just complain that you are messing up their calibration though.


Thanks, Andrew...hugs are always appreciated. And, advice is ok too, even if it is something I already know, but hugs are good. I'd use glitter for tomorrow, but since they even make you wipe off your deodorant before they do the test, I think they would likely just make me wipe the glitter off too. That would be a waste of glitter, but it would still be on EVERYTHING. wink


Me 50, H51
3 adult daughters from XH's first marriage (plus 4 grandkids)
Divorce final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
2 adult daughters from current H's previous relationships
Re: Bluebird [Re: Dawn70] #2903869
09/15/20 07:27 PM
09/15/20 07:27 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,552
D
Dawn70 Offline OP
Member
Dawn70  Offline OP
Member
D
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,552
I'm fairly sure I'm rapidly losing my mind. I'm a terrible daughter. I just slap a$$ forgot to send my own father a birthday card. His birthday was Sunday. So, during lunch today, I ran to the local dollar store to get a card and a couple of other things. I picked out a card, picked up my other items and went to the checkout. When I got to the truck, I couldn't find the card. Y'all….I KNOW I picked it up, but it wasn't on my receipt so I have NO idea what I did with it between the card aisle and the check stand. Pure insanity, I tell you!

On the plus side, I have a lengthy to-do list this week and I'm marking stuff off left and right, both personally and professionally, so that is a good feeling. I have already posted my assignments for next week and will start grading the one for this week Thursday. I like when I get to check things off my list. Makes me feel very accomplished.

I've still managed to keep Sparky's gift to myself. I'm running all sorts of scenarios in my head for how I want to handle his birthday and I really haven't settled on a good plan yet, but I do know I'm going to go ahead and tell him about Jet Tila like Friday or Saturday so that he can be thinking about it ahead of time and getting ready. Don't know about the rest. I hate to not include his mom in something since she created him, but at the same time, she never wants to get out of the house, so it would amount to us going to her house and eating and watching tv. I can do that at home in my underwear. LOL I'll have to think about it and see if I can figure out something more creative.

Only 2 more days this week after today, since I won't be here tomorrow. Come on weekend!


Me 50, H51
3 adult daughters from XH's first marriage (plus 4 grandkids)
Divorce final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
2 adult daughters from current H's previous relationships
Re: Bluebird [Re: Dawn70] #2903926
09/16/20 11:47 AM
09/16/20 11:47 AM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,304
Canada
A
AndrewP Offline
Member
AndrewP  Offline
Member
A
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,304
Canada
Good luck for you and your boobs today Dawn! Welcome to middle-age.

Next up - colonoscopy.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Bluebird [Re: Dawn70] #2904069
09/17/20 07:56 PM
09/17/20 07:56 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,552
D
Dawn70 Offline OP
Member
Dawn70  Offline OP
Member
D
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,552
Thanks, Andrew...I was a real super hero. They gave me a cape and I was wearing a mask, so totally could've gone straight from there to crime fighting. It was all good, seriously, and already got the all clear report back from the doc, so I'm good to go for another year. As for colonoscopy, my doc is letting me slide with submitting a "sample" and testing that, so I'm totally going that route for now. Avoiding that colonoscopy unless I just HAVE to do it. So, again, all good.

I needed the break yesterday and took off all day, specifically, to just get a minute to breathe and move away from the negative energy invading every particle of space on this campus right now. I went and had lunch with a friend after my appointments (she also happens to be a co-worker, but is a friend first, so we can hang without talking about work) and we treated ourselves to a delightful meal on the patio at a little creperie. SOOOOOOOOOOOO good. I even took one home for Sparky and he ate it for supper and loved it. He had eaten there before because it is actually where he took me for my birthday because that is where I wanted to go.

Of course, in true form, I couldn't get totally away from work because I kept getting emails of things that needed to be addressed (mostly negative) and then got a phone call from someone in my department needing my help both today and tomorrow. Of course, she apologized for me "always getting bothered with other peoples' jobs", but that didn't stop her from asking me to help her with hers. But, oh well. I told Sparky that part of me feels good about it because it shows that people know they can rely on me and they trust me to be professional. But part of me wants to shake them and go "do your own d@mn job and let me do mine!" But, I'm reminded in this time of Covid/budget debacle, tempers and annoyances are running high and morale and patience are running low and I'm TRYING to play nice. It just gets frustrating sometimes. I was talking with one of my co-workers this morning who is the administrative assistant in our building so she does all the grunt work like making copies for everyone, picking up and distributing mail, etc. I was telling her that morale is so bad that I was trying to think of some little something I could do for everyone to just help and I don't know what that is, so I'm going to think on that and see. In another job I had, I somehow managed to become the morale officer and I used to plan all sorts of little activities. It is harder to do in this time of Covid and it is also hard to bring food and such when everyone is on different diets and now with the additional Covid crap, I can't just put out a platter of cookies and call it good. So, I'm going to have to be creative...…………………We shall see how that goes. LOL

Tomorrow is Friday and I'm SO ready. We were supposed to attend a birthday party for my granddaughter Saturday, but it had to be postponed because the kids are quarantined because they were in contact with someone who tested positive for Covid. The good news about that whole thing, though, is now we can go to my sister's birthday dinner after all. For those of you following along on facebook, you have seen all my birthday posts this week. I swear, September is KILLING me with all the birthdays. I'm still working on Sparky's, trying to plan some time with friends and family. Fingers crossed I can get a workable plan.


Me 50, H51
3 adult daughters from XH's first marriage (plus 4 grandkids)
Divorce final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
2 adult daughters from current H's previous relationships
Re: Bluebird [Re: Dawn70] #2904116
09/18/20 01:43 PM
09/18/20 01:43 PM
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,637
D
DejaVu6 Offline
Member
DejaVu6  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,637
This, too, shall pass Dawn. For me, December is the worst month... I have renamed it “Brokember”. My twins, SD20 and my XMIL are all in December. And of course there is Christmas. My two nieces are on either side..one in November and the other in January. I get to add TDH to the mix now as he is in January. My kids and I have talked about celebrating their birthdays in July instead but we’ve never actually followed through with it. Maybe next year will be the time. Anyway...hang in there. Only four months left in 2020. laugh


Me 51
H 46
B/G Twins 11
SD19
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019
Divorce final - November 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018

Re: Bluebird [Re: Dawn70] #2904273
09/21/20 07:21 PM
09/21/20 07:21 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,552
D
Dawn70 Offline OP
Member
Dawn70  Offline OP
Member
D
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,552
I'm working on my attitude today and so far, it seems to be helping. Of course, I started the day off asking for Friday off and my boss absolutely supported that, so knowing I only have 4 days to be here this week certainly helped. LOL Sparky and I had a nice weekend. Saturday, we had supper with my family to celebrate my sister's birthday. Yesterday, we just relaxed at home and had down time together. We found a new show on Netflix to binge called "Ratched" and it was fantastic. We have one episode left, so we'll likely watch that tonight while we eat supper, but it was a good show. I had never heard of it, but then today I read several things about it online and apparently critics hated it. Oh well...………

I made homemade brownies yesterday and brought them to work this morning and left them in the copy room near my office. Taking all the Covid crap into account, I placed the individual brownies in Ziploc bags so that people didn't have to touch the same plate or touch the same utensils to get one...they could just grab a bag and go. Several people have gone out of their way to thank me, which is not at all why I did it, but it is still nice to hear. I just think that we need more of something around here to get the morale moving in the right direction and I'm willing to do my part, however small that may be.

Sparky's birthday is Sunday. I'm taking off Friday to make bake him a cake. Our food from Katz' Deli is also slated to arrive Friday, so we will have that to look forward to for supper. I'm still waiting to hear back from his daughter, but we are going axe throwing and having dinner with his mom in addition to his Sunday Zoom with Jet Tila. I'm not sure if his daughter is joining us for axe throwing or just for dinner with his mom, but hopefully she can do one or the other.

I'm just counting down the days to Friday now...……….ready for this week to be over and to move on. Next week will be mid-term week on our campus and we are still in person (for those classes that were meeting that way from the beginning) which is both surprising and exciting to me. I was so afraid we already would've been sent back to fully online. (Knock on wood real quick!) We will officially go back to fully online the week after Thanksgiving break just so as not to worry about students going home for a week and bringing stuff back, but my class will be over the week before Thanksgiving, so I don't have to worry about it. Fingers crossed we can stay in person until then...……….(or those who are in person can stay that way, I'm fully online anyway...hard to explain).


Me 50, H51
3 adult daughters from XH's first marriage (plus 4 grandkids)
Divorce final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
2 adult daughters from current H's previous relationships

Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

Save Your Marriage! Schedule Online

Schedule a phone consultation with a Divorce Busting® Coach! Call: 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004