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Originally Posted by SteveLW
I am not THAT old!

I am

Actually even older! smile


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Originally Posted by LH19
Soooooo if they see SteveLW they will be like I have no idea who this person is. But if they see Steve85 they will be like this is totally Steve's life?

This is like when Tom H went to Tom I. I thought is was a completely different person lol.


LOL LH. I know it doesn't seem like much, but trust me on this one!


M(53), W(54),D(19)
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ok. Steve85 I mean SteveLW you have earned the benefit of the doubt with your services here.

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SteveLW, I just wanted to drop by to say that you've been posting some great stuff. Keep it up!


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Originally Posted by sandi2
SteveLW, I just wanted to drop by to say that you've been posting some great stuff. Keep it up!



Thanks sandi, and I love that you are more present on the board! I've learned so much from your posts, as most LBHs have.


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I like 58evets


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
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Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Originally Posted by Ready2Change

I like 58evets


laugh I should have.


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Watched The Break-up last night. It is a 2006 movies starring Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. They are a couple (not married) sharing a condo in Chicago. They have a big blow up and break up, but continue with an IHS. I had watched some college basketball earlier so I thought I would go ahead and watch this movie since I was interested in the subject matter.

I thought that they dealt with the dynamics in these kinds of things fairly well. I thought that they showed how the manipulation attempts and passive-aggressive tactics some couples use on each other to make the other jealous, or get them to come back to the R were pretty realistic. It showed that manipulation attempts usually back-fire on you, and that passive-aggressiveness actually leads to the other person being less attracted to you not more.

There was a scene near the end of the movie where Jennifer Aniston invites Vince Vaughn to a concert trying to get back together (after the condo is being sold and they have two week to move out), and he stands her up. The next morning he goes to her room to find her crying, and she has the heart-to-heart with him that she should have had with him instead of the big blow-up that started the whole mess. I thought this was also well done because it showed that by time the one "spouse" is ready to really confront the real issues in the R, it is usually too late and the dynamics of the R are such that the damage has been done, too much toothpaste is out of the tube, and trying to put it all back together again is probably futile at that point.

In that scene, Vince's character, after Jennifer's tells him exactly why she had been unhappy, says "Why didn't you ever say that?" She says: "I did try to say that so many times." And he says: "Yeah, but never like that." But since he just stood her up for the concert she is no longer interested in trying, she is tired of being hurt.

Anyway, just wanted to share these observations. I know movies like this play things up to be funny and entertaining, but at its heart there was a lot of realism and truth. LBHs I do not suggest running out and putting a pool table in the dining room as a show of power! LOL And LBWs, getting a "wax" and parading around naked to make him jealous probably isn't a good tactic either.


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Yep. I remember seeing that movie and thinking holy fuch that was my marriage to a T.

If you want to watch a movie to get you fired up watch Unfaithful with Richard Gere.

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Originally Posted by LH19
Yep. I remember seeing that movie and thinking holy fuch that was my marriage to a T.

If you want to watch a movie to get you fired up watch Unfaithful with Richard Gere.


LH, not sure if you read this in my sitch or not, but that was the movie that got me going "Hmmmmmm" on BD in 2017, that caused me to snoop, find the messages to OM, and confront. It came on one of the regular cable channels, and I was busy working on folding clothes or something, and just started watching it. Unfaithful is such a realistic movie (other than the getting away with murder part), because it shows how the cheating spouse changes, and how the changes are noticed by the spouse being cheated on. The way she acted in front of him in the bathtub was such a smack in the face wake-up call! It was when I really realized that she hadn't been changing in front of me for months and I was so wrapped up in my own bitterness and resentment that I didn't even notice......until 12/23/2017 watching that movie suddenly everything hit me.


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