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A Message from Michele
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Did I F it all up? #2895896
05/26/20 05:16 PM
05/26/20 05:16 PM
Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 30
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NewJimmy Offline OP
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NewJimmy  Offline OP
Member
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Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 30
Back again after a long time away bc I reserved my self to the fact that divorce was on the way.
Papers were sent to me in September and the back and forth with the lawyers has been going on.
I'm still in our house, she is at her parents and the kids have been going back and forth on a schedule.

Out of the blue 2 weeks ago I get a text at 3am from her saying she was thinking of all our awesome adventures together. I respond with "yes they were very fun with the boys and before we had the boys". The next day she asks if she can join me and the boys for pizza Friday night and I say sure. We have been amicable. She comes over we have pizza and after go for a walk.

She gets back to her parents house and in a text thanks me for a nice night and dinner and says she can see her self coming home and thanked me for never giving up and see many new adventures for us together but it will be a uphill climb and she is sorry for everything.

That Sunday we go for a morning bike together wo the kids and after she comes in for a hug almost a kiss and again thanks me. I also asked her what she was thinking and she says she knows she still loves me and is in love with me.

Again dinner the next Friday and movie with the boys at our house and then comes the no return of texts across Sunday and yesterday. We has plans to go to the beach together when the sun came out. I texted for a approx. time and an hour later got a "oh we are bailing on the beach".

Later that night I get a text saying that she was nervous about how I spoke to the 6 yo (sternly) about how he rode right out into the street wo looking. And she is afraid that my anger will be turned on her. I told her I understand and hear her and will continue to try to be a bit softer.

Now its all "I'm done, I have no interest in working on stuff, don't text me" I texted her back "What happened, lets discuss etc and one instance where we disagree on my reaction to something and thats it?"

I thought we were on the long journey of the piecing path but I seem to have fallen off the cliff.


Thoughts, ideas, suggestions

thx
Newjimmy


Together 10
Married 8
Bomb drop 2/19
Separated since 6/18
Papers started 9/19
Two kids 5 and 7, boys

im in the house, she is local and at her parents, boys split time

me:47
her:38
Re: Did I F it all up? [Re: NewJimmy] #2896363
06/01/20 12:20 AM
06/01/20 12:20 AM
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 46
K
Kind18 Offline
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Kind18  Offline
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K
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 46
Hi Jimmy.

That sounds so tough - Iím sorry youíre going through this.

Has there been any more interaction? Itís quite a common theme to see WAS return and then disappear, return and then disappear over and over. Itís not just a switch that suddenly gets flicked and everything goes back to normal. Piecing takes time and there are setbacks and the WAS flip flops all over the place.

Re: Did I F it all up? [Re: NewJimmy] #2901485
08/06/20 10:45 PM
08/06/20 10:45 PM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,502
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blackfoot Offline
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blackfoot  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,502
Quote
I get a text at 3am from her saying she was thinking of all our awesome adventures together.


She was lonely. NotYourProblem.

Quote
she is sorry for everything

what is everything? Sorry is an action not throat noises.

Quote
she was nervous about how I spoke to the 6 yo (sternly) about how he rode right out into the street wo looking. And she is afraid that my anger will be turned on her.

the correct response is ... OK. Were you angry at your son? Did she ride out into the street? does she need to be told to look both ways? is she a toddler?


Quote
I texted her back "What happened, lets discuss etc and one instance where we disagree on my reaction to something and thats it?"


Yes you messed up. So what. the only response ever necessary to her explanations for destroying the family over petty difference's is ' OK'
She has no voice. She is a child. Adults have conversations. They say things, like 'I want' ' I would like' 'How do we sort this out'
Children pout, Narcissists (adult toddlers) stonewall and gaslight and sociopaths (morally bereft) Cheat.

Don't have sex with dependents. Sex is for peers. And don't try to have relationships with Narcissists and Sociopaths. focus on raising your functional level so your peers are functional adults.

Re: Did I F it all up? [Re: blackfoot] #2903451
09/09/20 10:00 PM
09/09/20 10:00 PM
Joined: Aug 2020
Posts: 37
T
tom_h Offline
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tom_h  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2020
Posts: 37
Originally Posted by blackfoot
Quote
I get a text at 3am from her saying she was thinking of all our awesome adventures together.


She was lonely. NotYourProblem.

Quote
she is sorry for everything

what is everything? Sorry is an action not throat noises.

Quote
she was nervous about how I spoke to the 6 yo (sternly) about how he rode right out into the street wo looking. And she is afraid that my anger will be turned on her.

the correct response is ... OK. Were you angry at your son? Did she ride out into the street? does she need to be told to look both ways? is she a toddler?


Quote
I texted her back "What happened, lets discuss etc and one instance where we disagree on my reaction to something and thats it?"


Yes you messed up. So what. the only response ever necessary to her explanations for destroying the family over petty difference's is ' OK'
She has no voice. She is a child. Adults have conversations. They say things, like 'I want' ' I would like' 'How do we sort this out'
Children pout, Narcissists (adult toddlers) stonewall and gaslight and sociopaths (morally bereft) Cheat.

Don't have sex with dependents. Sex is for peers. And don't try to have relationships with Narcissists and Sociopaths. focus on raising your functional level so your peers are functional adults.


Wow, blackfoot, you are good. Can we start dialoguing about my situation? I posted my story a couple days ago in the the newcomers seciton.


Moderated by  Virginia 

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