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If you thank him he will tell the OW and they will get a good laugh about it.

Trust me that will happen.

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Originally Posted by KitCat


The polite person in me wants to let him know thank you. But, I'm sure that the wrong thing to do.... so I will maintain radio silence.



I recognize that I should not do this.... :-) But, I still write thank you's on home made cards when people just stop by for a visit. I know that's rare thing... but its who I've always been.

Oh, I totally get I'm the brunt of every stupid joke between them.... so why in the world would he even want to leave the treats in the first place. You think that would have gotten up OW's skirt that he owes my dog nothing.

Oh well---- OVER AND DONE WITH.

At least the dog doesn't understand the drama but will appreciate the treats.... dehydrated liver...

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Originally Posted by KitCat
Oh, I totally get I'm the brunt of every stupid joke between them.... so why in the world would he even want to leave the treats in the first place. You think that would have gotten up OW's skirt that he owes my dog nothing.

Spinning like a top!

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KC, there was some ulterior motive. He's a slimy, lying, adulterous sun-of-a-gun so let's not assume he's suddenly being nice because that is highly doubtful. He's probably trying to butter you up for an easier/ cheaper divorce. Until you are divorced, EVERY SINGLE TIME he does something that appears nice I would suggest you automatically assume there is a hidden agenda behind it. Because there is. The best response is no response.

Right?

THE BEST RESPONSE IS NO RESPONSE.

Not just to this, to EVERYTHING he says or does.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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Originally Posted by AnotherStander
KC, there was some ulterior motive. He's a slimy, lying, adulterous sun-of-a-gun so let's not assume he's suddenly being nice because that is highly doubtful. He's probably trying to butter you up for an easier/ cheaper divorce. Until you are divorced, EVERY SINGLE TIME he does something that appears nice I would suggest you automatically assume there is a hidden agenda behind it. Because there is. The best response is no response.

Right?

THE BEST RESPONSE IS NO RESPONSE.

Not just to this, to EVERYTHING he says or does.


Yes - I will ignore.

And, you right. He is wanting something?

I have been so incredibly agreeable. I mean what he came and took from the house today was not truly of any value. We are talking a very rusted... incredibly rusted leg trap. A small amount of scrap wood - hardly nothing. A piece of wood board about 4ft x 3ft. A few metal brackets - to hold studs... like 5. An old ball cap. a paint roller. A water pump that probably cost us $100 and we only used a couple of times.

I didn't need that stuff. I had it set aside with some barrier fence and decorative fence. None of it I was keeping so of course "nice" me 4 weeks ago asked if he wanted it. He replied that he did.

I should have just taken it to Goodwill and said F it....

He is just going to continue to walk over my good nature.

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BUT - I'm done.

Anything else he feels he has at the house... to bad... you've been here multiple times.

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Originally Posted by KitCat
BUT - I'm done.

Anything else he feels he has at the house... to bad... you've been here multiple times.


-pumps fist into air!-


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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This was such a draining day.

I guess I must be having a lot of expectations that I'm not acknowledging if I'm feeling so tired and wiped from an experience I wasn't even tech part of... I wasn't at the house today. Maybe that's why I feel more vulnerable??? Am I just not comfortable with the realization he was in my home when I was not?

Just had to plan a last minute 4hr trip to S19 in college... he needs some things that can't wait until I'm back from my trip. Tomorrow will he a long day.

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Kk,

This is not normal and why we have asked you many times to seek therapy. He came to your house to pick up some stuff and left some dog treats. This should not wipe you out. There should be zero expectations from this man other then to screw you over.

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I'm recognizing my thought process and ownership.

I didn't say I was right to think these things.

I've not really had so much anxiety lately but when I did I would ask myself a series of questions trying to figure out where it was coming from.

I'm also keenly aware of other things going on in my life and how that is impacting my current situation. It didn't help when a coworker came up today and suddenly said "must be so lonely in your house these days". Completely innocent but hit like a ton of bricks. I accept that timing of all of this bites... ie S19 off to college, covid keeping everything limited. My womans group hasn't met in over 6mo... coming home to an empty house is compounding things.

I'm working through my mental exhaustion for the day.... wrestling with my need to say thank you... knowing I also owe him nothing, that what works is counter intuitive so don't do what your brain is firing about, to I wish this paperwork was done because I'm just sick and tired of it, not looking forward to a 4hr drive today... to really??? Awake at 3am again today.

I think the the biggest gain I've made is sitting more with my feelings and thoughts and not acting on them immediately which I would have done in the past. Asking myself more where is this coming from...

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