YES, I know in the past I would be totally spinning. I could feel my anxiety really spiking... questioning everything.
When the text came across about the dog treats... I was like "eh... WTH?"... "hmmmm"... okay and went right back to what I was doing. My anxiety didn't spike. I didn't spend the next hour trying to figure out what it all meant.
Ginger - he isn't at all bonded with my dog. He isn't the least bit interested in my dog. Now, he isn't mean to my dog but he wouldn't go out of his way.
I don't get it... but its not for me to get. But, yes it did get my attention... was he going to follow up? PLUS I totally know myself and its like the text comes through and its still a bit like a drug... oh, good today's fix just came in, he's still there. <<<< That's not me spinning its me understanding the pathways that are firing in my brain.
Work is a train wreck this week --- so hopefully I will be to busy to realize he will be at the house tomorrow.
Lol. You are spinning trying to convince us you are not spinning. I think part of the problem is that you are still running in denial. I am really hoping he doesn't bring the treats because I think that will majorly set you back.
YES, I know in the past I would be totally spinning. I could feel my anxiety really spiking... questioning everything.
When the text came across about the dog treats... I was like "eh... WTH?"... "hmmmm"... okay and went right back to what I was doing. My anxiety didn't spike. I didn't spend the next hour trying to figure out what it all meant.
Ginger - he isn't at all bonded with my dog. He isn't the least bit interested in my dog. Now, he isn't mean to my dog but he wouldn't go out of his way.
I don't get it... but its not for me to get. But, yes it did get my attention... was he going to follow up? PLUS I totally know myself and its like the text comes through and its still a bit like a drug... oh, good today's fix just came in, he's still there. <<<< That's not me spinning its me understanding the pathways that are firing in my brain.
Work is a train wreck this week --- so hopefully I will be to busy to realize he will be at the house tomorrow.
KC, two things. If you try to apply logic to his actions you will be confused, every time! WASs/WSs are the most illogical creatures on the planet. They run high on emotionally charged actions. Remember, I warned you that as you got better at NC he'd begin to reach out more and more. Even WASs/WSs that are deep into a relationship with the OP do not like the feeling of loss of control over their LBS. That is where the power of NC/LRT comes in! Suddenly they are snapping their fingers and the LBS isn't jumping. But I will warn you, the minute you do jump as his snap, then he will retreat again secure in the knowledge that he could change his mind and have you back at his own whim.
I do also want to encourage you to continue to move forward! Mistakes in DBing are common. The LBSs that persevere through the mistakes, get up and dust themselves off after a fall and continue to move forward, are the ones that go on to an awesome life...with or without their flaky WAS!!
You can do this. While it is frustrating, both to yourself and us, at the slowness of your progress, I do believe you are making progress! That is better than the alternative.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Lol. You are spinning trying to convince us you are not spinning. I think part of the problem is that you are still running in denial. I am really hoping he doesn't bring the treats because I think that will majorly set you back.
Alright - I accept it for what it is.
Busy at work trying not to look at the clock or think about him being at the house.
Nothing I can do anyway about whether or not he leaves the treats. I never reminded him of his offer months ago... and I will not mention it again.
Nothing I can do anyway about whether or not he leaves the treats. I never reminded him of his offer months ago... and I will not mention it again.
Ok KK let's play this one out and say that your STBXH leaves the dog treats. Let's say that they are the best fuching dog treats on this side of the Mississippi. What changes?
STBXH files for separation STBXH buys house STBXH in another relationship while legally married STBXH stiffs your son on two very important days for him
Nothing I can do anyway about whether or not he leaves the treats. I never reminded him of his offer months ago... and I will not mention it again.
Ok KK let's play this one out and say that your STBXH leaves the dog treats. Let's say that they are the best fuching dog treats on this side of the Mississippi. What changes?
STBXH files for separation STBXH buys house STBXH in another relationship while legally married STBXH stiffs your son on two very important days for him
STBXH brings dog treats
When we look at actions. Which are more powerful?
Makes the dog treats kind of silly right?
^^^ I"m not sure what this was all about. I just wrote - it is what is it and I wasn't mentioning the treats again.
Clearly his actions are not consistent.
He lies. He is rude. He feels he can come and go. He refuses to meet up for documents but then can turn around and tell me how much I'm holding things up and blame me.
The dog treats are to throw me off... to appease his guilt that he had at the moment... idk. I realize it doesn't matter.
The polite person in me wants to let him know thank you.
THAT'S what LH was trying to get you to see. You are right, no need to thank him. WIth all of this:
STBXH files for separation STBXH buys house STBXH in another relationship while legally married STBXH stiffs your son on two very important days for him
He doesn't deserve to get a thank you for......dog treats.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
