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Re: Free parrot with every peg leg [Re: AndrewP] #2901942
08/12/20 05:16 PM
08/12/20 05:16 PM
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Originally Posted by kml
Dude - do you understand that with some oral antibiotics this would have been gone in 2-3 days???????? Don't do this again - EVER!


Originally Posted by AndrewP
S and I had a very nice get-away at a lovely inn in her home town. There were lots of safety protocols in place but still it did feel like a risk.

Soooooooo, let me see if Iíve got this... living life, visiting a small town, staying at an inn, with a well controlled virus that has still only infected a percent or two of the people on the planet is a risk, but walking around with a leg infection is not a risk. Do I have that down correctly? Once again, 2020, the most upside down year ever.

Wish I could post photos here. After wishing a friend happy birthday on Facebook he just posted that he is in the hospital with a leg infection. He posted two pretty gross photos that Facebook made me actively opt-in to view. Not sure how it started. Sounds like heís had it for awhile now. Finally had to call the ambulance on Saturday. Had surgery on Sunday, Iím guessing to debried the infection, and now will be in the hospital for unknown more days. Then it sounds like he may have had some uncontrolled A-fib or something that caused his heart to race so heís now one step away from ICU. But hey he avoided having to take some pills so he does get that win. smile

Figuring out human nature can be fascinating to me. Rationalization really may be the second strongest human drive.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Re: Free parrot with every peg leg [Re: kml] #2902067
08/14/20 10:16 PM
08/14/20 10:16 PM
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Originally Posted by kml
Quote
The leg is doing decently. One section of infection left that itches and the leg swells easily so I need to stay off my feet which is quite the challenge for me. I would expect that a few more days and all will be back to normal.


Dude - do you understand that with some oral antibiotics this would have been gone in 2-3 days???????? Don't do this again - EVER!
Yeah. Given that each time I get an infection that my risks continue to go up this is an attitude that I will need to change. Setting aside the very real risks to my health that I have been taking, the sheer annoyance of a game leg is frustrating. My key - and perhaps misplaced - focus was on if this would interfere with my angio-gram / plasty in 2 weeks.

Been bacheloring it yesterday and today. S's D19 is having a scope done top and bottom to review her possible celiac condition. From the message I got from S late this afternoon, there's a chance that the bottom scope didn't get done because D19 was stressed out. They are going to stay down there one more night which is good as it means that D19 will be in a safe well supervised spot as she recovers from the anesthetic.

I actually picked up a 12 pack of beer from the village brewery and had a relaxing evening last night with the dog watching Poirot. The dog didn't seem to be too into it. Not too much to my surprise I was rather "meh" about the beer. I enjoyed the taste but I would have probably been just as happy to chug back some kombucha. And had a better sleep. Nice to learn these things.

I just mailed a big box of girl guide cookies and other treats down to D28 today and posted in the family chat that S25's cookies are in the office. That seems to have worked. He just texted me that he's going to be stopping by tomorrow "to pick up the last of" his stuff. Not sure if that will include the book-case or not. I did mention it to my ex in the payment message earlier this morning so perhaps he was kicked on that side.

Vacation is now done. I didn't get nearly what I'd hoped to get done accomplished but did manage some things. The key one was to fix some rot in one of the window-sills. I used a combination of wood blocks shaped to fit and auto-body filler. Not the best of repairs but it will do for a few years. The "right" fix would have been to pull it out and replace it but ain't nobody got time for that. The rot had gone almost right through the sill and had advanced a bit into the house. Not good.

Of course to do this repair, I needed my ladder. To get to my ladder I spent an entire day on Wednesday pulling everything out of the garage, sorting it and then packing it back in into the middle of the floor. Given that the garage was the "we're tired of moving stuff and are teenagers" shove things in place, it was quite the mess with stuff just literally tossed in. Not much seemed to have gotten broken and it should now be easier to unpack. A lot of it just isn't needed but S will have to work through a lot of those decisions herself. She did comment that a number of the things she has were picked up "for the next house". Hopefully she can let go of the ones that don't fit here.

The plan for tomorrow is to do some exterior painting on the window frames. I was also supposed to do a lot of the plaster work in S13's room but that didn't happen. Hopefully Sunday I can get a lot done on that.

Today's big task was getting S's to cats and the dog to the vet. The dog was up for her booster shots and the cats needed "everything". The bill was rather large and the cats have to go back in a few weeks for a booster. The cats were surprisingly easy to get into the carriers. I wore a pair of heavy leather gloves just in case. The vet clinic was crazy busy and with the extra social distancing measures, even more busy. The protocol is to sit in the car, they do a first case review over the phone then the critters are handed over like a hostage drama. The vet does his exam, calls and goes over things and then the bill is presented and you get the critters back. Because they were so busy it actually took a couple of hours mostly just waiting. At my insistence we have the cats now micro-chipped. The dog will get chipped when we get her spayed probably in a couple of months.

Well - time to feed the tribe. Porkchops tonight for me I think. Hamster kibbles for the hamster, hay and pellets for the rabbits, diet cat food for the felines and kibbles for the dog.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Free parrot with every peg leg [Re: AndrewP] #2902161
08/16/20 05:01 PM
08/16/20 05:01 PM
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Well - I was right. Sending my ex a note saying that either she picks up the book-case or I would dispose of it created a flurry of action. 2 - count 'em 2 - separate messages (the first in years) on the subject. The first one saying that she was dispatching S25 to pick it up. The second one saying the same thing but adding on that if he didn't come to let her know and that she herself would come.

S25 did show up about mid-afternoon yesterday. I was a bit worried that the book-case wouldn't fit into his wee car but there were no issues. He also picked up the last of his stuff that's not in more permanent storage including about 8 bottles of wine from his wine-of-the-month club subscription that probably have gone off.

He was pleased to find out that the stash included a few boxes of girl-guide cookies and didn't seem to be in a bad humour about anything and was genuinely happy to see me. He mentioned that he looks back fondly now on the time the two of us spent together in the house. We also touched on some of my current health concerns so that he was in the loop about that. Nothing specific, but I do get the feeling that he doesn't completely trust S to look after me.

The big thing we talked about was how "the girls" are not adapting well and that I'm concerned about them. S25 is going to take them. He figures that even though it's a "no pets" building that there won't be an issue. Not sure when he's going to come and get them but it probably won't be too long. He was very happy to see his girls and lavished a lot of attention on them.

He said that up to now that he's been doing the hermit thing but that he will be making an effort to reach out to me in some fashion or other every couple of weeks. We talked about going out for dinner etc. I'd like to maybe do something pre-planned like a dinner or lunch once a month or so.

He did mention that his mother was - ahem - very concerned that I would be disposing of the book-case.

It was so very very good to see him and I do confess that I'm still emotional about it. It's been such a very long time since I've seen him. I'm grateful that he's doing well. It will also be tough to part from my/his girls but it will be for the best for them.

S and crew arrived from her set of appointments just as he was leaving so they didn't interact. Personally, I think that's for the best. S may have a vision of one big happy combined family but I don't and I don't think my kids do either. It's something that will require careful navigation. I'm positive that he doesn't dislike S but he does dislike the noise and activity that accompanies her I believe.

I told S later after she unburdened about her own challenges and adventures about the visit. She is baffled about the decision to let his 2 cats move in with S25 saying that "things are getting better" and "they'll adapt" which is perhaps true. The current drama though I feel isn't good for anyone. She is at least not trying to stop this from happening. I don't necessarily trust S's optimism about such things. Her past adventures with forced blending had not gone well.

S had a challenging time away. She has a difficult relationship with her Dad who is - ahem - very particular about many things. It's difficult for her because she feels that he is always knocking her down and discounting what she has to say - she attributes it to him being from a different era. Superficially polite but with family, especially female family, very dismissive.

I think that I got some more insight though into how and why S18 treats his mother, cutting her down constantly. It's what he's seen from his grandfather perhaps. S grew up with this and has a fairly think skin but that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. You can almost see S shrink within herself when he puts her down. There was another awkward to me discussion about one of S's previous partners (not an ex but they dated for quite a while) where I was compared favorably. Someone who fit his description had been recently arrested for a DUI.

The sense of relief from S and the kids when they got home was palpable and the boys expressed their appreciation for me taking care of their varmints. S18 spent a bunch of time burning off energy on the trampoline and swinging on a pull-up bar I installed for him in one of the doorways. He has a mania for physical activity that left unfocused can be destructive.

----------

S will probably need some time and space to decompress. She's still in bed. I dropped S18 off at work this morning then got a call from D19 as I was driving back. She'd been to a party and needed a ride. Had a nice chat with D19 who isn't a very deep person but is a decent enough kid. She'd tried to reach her mother but the cell phone was dead and the land-line didn't get answered. I assured her that it was my personal policy that if someone needed to be picked up that there were no questions and that it would happen. I personally think that this girl is going to flower now that she's out from under the shadow of her ex-BF. We did talk a bit about relationships and how watching out for people who are controlling is a big thing. I think that she's probably going to be focusing on her career in the next while and she may well do well despite being yet another pretty young white girl in a sea of such faces.

---------

I have a pork shoulder in the oven cooking for Sunday dinner. S had asked me last night if I had plans and suggested that she would do up a beef roast but was very happy when she found out that I had a pork one set aside. I've not done this cut before but it's an inexpensive cut that should feed a crowd. It's a very very slow roast. I'm debating trying to do crispy oven baked potatoes with duck fat. I had similar potatoes when we were away recently and do quite like them. I expect that S's D26 is planning on being here for dinner. I've dodged her for a couple of weeks.

When I mentioned to S25 about the assumptions being made about Sunday dinners, he didn't seem surprised at all, nor did he appear to have any interest in being involved. Sad in many ways. This was the one time a week where even if he was in one of his moods that we had to connect.

I think that I need to be careful here and this is perhaps the time to be most careful. I don't want to lose "me". The "me" that grew and flourished in the light after the shadow of my ex-wife passed. S is here to add to the variety of my life and she's said that she doesn't want to take anything away from me that's important to me, but this is much less tangible than doing laundry or cleaning the cat-boxes. It's so easy to bury your light under a basket when there's so much else going on.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Free parrot with every peg leg [Re: AndrewP] #2902167
08/16/20 07:06 PM
08/16/20 07:06 PM
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Why not just plan to have dinner out on every other Sunday night with your son? You could go out or get takeout and hang at his place or you and he could cook together at his place.

Good job on getting rid of the bookcase - I guess you were right, she did actually want it, so good on you.

Sís boys keep pointing out how superior you are to her exes because they are so relieved that you are normal and stable. I think itís less about running her down and more about wanting reassurance that sheís not going to f this up.

You can help teach them how to treat her with respect, and how to do gentlemanly things like pulling out her chair or holding the door for her. You can also teach them some self-sufficiency skills.

Re: Free parrot with every peg leg [Re: kml] #2902346
08/19/20 02:26 PM
08/19/20 02:26 PM
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Ah - nice to have my posts end up on page 4 because they are getting boring.

S25 has now transmogrified to S26. I hope he had a good day. He had to work so no partying for him. 20S - who has the same birthday still hasn't heard from him. It was weird to not be celebrating his birthday with him but he didn't seem too phased about that. He knows that I cared about his birthday and I think that for this year, that that was good enough.

I'm still feeling sad that my "girls" will be moving out at some point. But it will be for the best for them and the new critters.

Originally Posted by kml
Good job on getting rid of the bookcase - I guess you were right, she did actually want it, so good on you.
Oh - I've been confident that she wanted it as well as baffled that she never took it during any of her trips through the house. I did have my work reference books in it so perhaps she was "being nice". There was also a combination of randomness and methodical pillaging that happened.

I've known how attached she was to this book-case since she first got it over 30 years ago. It was from her father and she considered it a "prestige" item. I think that one of the parts at play in this is the fact that she undoubtedly can't comprehend that I'm not keeping this place as a shrine to her awesomeness and that things have changed rather dramatically in the past 4 years.

From my time on this forum and elsewhere, I think that this is a pretty common thing and I've seen it on both sides - that it's beyond comprehension that a former spouse or what was left behind has changed from where it was left.

I'm glad that I did contact her and that the matter got all sorted out. I'm especially glad that it happened without me having to interact with her. I would probably be coldly polite but am glad that didn't happen. I remember clearly seeing my younger sister and her ex interacting years after their divorce and the attraction and magnetism between them was still palpable. I'd rather not know if I'm still attracted to my ex or not.

S asked very pointedly after if this was the LAST item of this sort and yes it is. I know that I don't owe my ex anything but I still felt that it has been the decent thing to do to ensure that she is the one to make the decisions on items that may have been important to her whether it be this book-case or the paper towel holder her mother hand-made for her.

I'm sure that S26 is happy to see the end of the passing of things through him as well. I do think though that it does model the fact that yes while his parents did split and that there was a lot of pain involved that it is also possible to not be a jerk and to be considerate.

-----------

It's been tough getting my head wrapped back around work again. So many moving parts. Fortunately everyone else really knows what they are doing and have caught a couple of my mistakes. I'm sort of stretching myself into different parts of the poorly defined role. Yesterday I was up-selling customers, I've been placing orders for raw materials committing the company to some rather large amounts of money. Funny thing is that nobody questions any of this on any side of the process. Goes to show that if you appear competent that people assume you are wink

Part of the job is making decisions quickly with poor or limited information. Some of that is because I can't just walk out to the plant to see what is going on which was the problem yesterday. But the decisions need to be made and in some cases quickly. Introverted and shy 18 year old me never would have imagined my being capable of doing this.

---------------

S, S13 and D19 spent yesterday and overnight up with her D26. The purpose was to babysit - not sure why it took all three. But it left S18 and I alone bacheloring it. I was able to do some cleaning and organizing after work yesterday that now allows me to put the trailer back into it's shed.

A futon that was in the shed now sits where the book-case was in the office. This will give us back a guest bed plus another place to hang out. With the boys pretty much taking over the living room it will be good to have a separate space. I know that S liked the similar setup in her apartment.

The unpacking is proceeding and in bursts as expected. Suddenly over the last few days most of the clothes have been dealt with and most of the living room floor and almost all of the dining room table is visible.

I'm largely keeping out of it which seems to be working for the best. S knows her stuff and how she wants to use it. Sometimes if I stumble across something I'll put it in a place that makes sense, usually kitchen related and that has worked too. Surprisingly, I've not really felt the "itch" to take over and just deal with things.

School has more or less been set up for the boys. S18 has some things he needs to do himself to get his courses set up. Neither of them will be attending in person for at least for a while. One of the reasons is because S worries about them bringing something home to me. We all expect absolute chaos for the first few weeks and then we'll see how it shakes out. A lot of people are keeping their kids home from what I gather. We have very few cases of COVID going on here. There's been a recent bump which can undoubtedly be traced to the long weekend at the start of the month. No reasonable person though I would think will expect kids to be able to follow the procedures consistently and for a significant amount of time. With flu season coming up soon as well it will just be too much to expect there to not be spreading events in the schools.

----------

I continue to worry about my health and my upcoming procedure. I'm completely convinced that they'll be putting a stent or two in. I seriously doubt that we would be looking at a bypass but given my record on being wrong about things, can't really rule that out. There certainly continues to be something consistently feeling "not right" in there. My blood pressure continues to be in the same range that it has been in at least. Perhaps it's just the stress.

My leg is almost cleared up. Oddly it's now peeling as if it were sunburned. I've certainly learned my lesson I hope about taking that more seriously.

Well - that's about all for now.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Free parrot with every peg leg [Re: AndrewP] #2902356
08/19/20 04:16 PM
08/19/20 04:16 PM
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I don't think your posts are ever boring. I have just been running wide open for a week or so now with the opening of school and haven't had time to comment as I normally would.

I'm worried about your health too! Don't just dismiss your blood pressure as stress. Keep pushing for help and answers as to what is going on so that you can get lined out. You have a lot of people depending on you (don't know if that is a help or a hindrance, but it is a fact, so might as well embrace it).

Take care of yourself!!!!!


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: Free parrot with every peg leg [Re: AndrewP] #2902367
08/19/20 06:16 PM
08/19/20 06:16 PM
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kml Online
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Quote
I think that one of the parts at play in this is the fact that she undoubtedly can't comprehend that I'm not keeping this place as a shrine to her awesomeness


Lol - don't think I have any such items. Thank goodness.

Quote
I remember clearly seeing my younger sister and her ex interacting years after their divorce and the attraction and magnetism between them was still palpable. I'd rather not know if I'm still attracted to my ex or not.


LOL - I'm definitely not! At middle son's grad school graduation last year he came up and gave me a hug - it was like that scene from Alien where the monster comes right up next to Sigourney Weaver and she stays perfectly still! Ick!

Really the only thing my ex has that I'd like to have is a portrait of our kids that one of our nannies had done of them and gave to us. He kept it initially because I was staying with my mom. I kinda felt sorry for him and let him have it at his place when I took my share of the artwork. Recently I was thinking of asking him for custody of it for a while since it's been 11 years - kinda my turn I think. He probably wouldn't mind, he's got limited wall space in his little beach duplex and his wife might enjoy being able to put up something different in its place.

As far as your leg goes - they may not want to do the procedure if there's still evidence of infection, so you should maybe get some antibiotics to finish it up before then. Talk to your doctor. Fingers crossed for a good test.

Re: Free parrot with every peg leg [Re: AndrewP] #2902539
08/23/20 04:18 PM
08/23/20 04:18 PM
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Posts: 3,365
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Back to the twice a week cadence of posting again I see.

Not a lot going on. I am of course very stressed about my upcoming procedure. S has read through the info and will be taking me down although by the sounds of it she won't be able to wait inside the hospital.

----

I got a fresh haircut yesterday and was chatting with my barber who has been cutting my hair for over 30 years now. He also used to sit on the local police services and is still an active volunteer fire-fighter. To say that he's well plugged in to to the local community is an understatement. He's been saying that he's planning on writing a book about all the stories he's heard over the years and says that I'll probably get a chapter of my own.

Now that he knows where my ex-wife lives, he's been paying attention. It seems that even given small town rural Ontario that it's not a very nice neighbourhood. We can grow our own marijuana now here and many people are. From what I understand you are allowed a limited number of plants and they cannot be visible from off the property. He was showing me a picture of my ex-wife's neighbour across the street and the veritable forest of plants growing on their balcony right at the front of the house. I believe they are going to be getting a visit from the local constabulary.

If I dig a bit I can still feel sorry for her and for what I perceive from the outside as a "less than" life that she is leading. It's a weird thing and undoubtedly part of the cognitive dissonance that we all struggle with to both care and not care. I don't wish for anything bad to happen to her but on the other hand have no interest in stirring myself to stop it.

Getting back to my barber, he's commented a few times on how he envied me during my single days. At 60 we are in the age group where losing a partner becomes more of thing. He thinks I made a big mistake by bringing someone into my home. He certainly has a point. My path has been set though and I do have optimism for the future. The present though takes work. There certainly is a lot more load that I have around the house and such that what it was with just myself and my son. S has good intentions but followup on the day to day stuff isn't great. She has been making substantial incremental progress on the unpacking though. The boys - well - they're teenaged boys. The chore chart is largely ignored. They take care of their own pets but as far as the common household stuff, nothing. The boys will do things but S has to stand right over them to get them to do it.

One of my issues with the chore chart concept is that it allows people to think "not my job". I on the other hand am a "we're all in this together" person.

This is where different families have different ways. It will get navigated but it will take time and in the interim, I have more to do. I do know that expecting them to spontaneously get interested in helping out won't happen. Sigh - if parenting were easy then I suppose everyone would be wanting to do it.

S has been wanting to make more of an effort in doing the running around that I've been doing on my own with me and so yesterday I re-shuffled the timing of things and we did get out together for grocery shopping. This is oddly the first time we've done it together where it's not been driven by me and my list.

Boy oh boy do we have some work to do. Our different ways of planning and shopping are not similar at all. S ended up challenging me on if I was the one who did everything when I was married and was surprised that no - it was always done together and off a pre-set list. I think the fact that I had a decent marriage with a good working relationship with my then wife continues to surprise her.

On her side, I challenged her that she has never shopped before with a partner and that she had no practice in doing things collaboratively.

We have work to do. In the mean-time we are badly over-stocked on some things and have a number of other items that will perhaps go bad before they get used. It will be a learning experience for us both. I need to become less rigid and structured and she perhaps needs to become more collaborative.

-------------

The unpacking and sorting out things does seem to be progressing. S13 scrubbed out the two small freezers and I was able to sell them quickly online. He's supposed to get a cut of the money but for some reason S is holding off giving it to him. It's between him and her but he's certainly very money motiviated. I also gave away an exercise bike that I had which I can't see being used again. S26 and I did use it from time to time but there's no space for it at present.

---------

Well - busy day ahead of me. The grass needs to be cut, I need to move quite a bit of compost and re-do the fence around it and then have a nice soak in the tub. S is off this afternoon for an overnight with her Dad and S13 as S13 has an appointment with a growth specialist tomorrow morning in that city. I may get a bottle of wine to enjoy with my soak.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Free parrot with every peg leg [Re: AndrewP] #2902607
08/24/20 09:25 PM
08/24/20 09:25 PM
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Had a good thing happen that is worth mentioning.

S13 gave me some attitude yesterday. He's been getting more and more mouthy towards his mother but this is the first time he pulled it with me. I let him know that I didn't appreciate his attitude and left it at that. He didn't seem to care.

It did put me in a bit of a miserable mood. Later S and I were talking and I mentioned that I was in a bad mood because of S13, filled her in. She had a talk with him which I don't think did a whole lot of good but S13 made some efforts later in the day to get on my good side.

One outcome is that the chore chart is being re-done. Some accountability is being created. Since S and the boys aren't good at creating "systems", that's become my job. I worked with S18 on what works for him and the things he needs to work on and have done up a big white-board that he has to check off each day. He has a bigger list because of his bunnies and he also has goals he's working on. For S13 and the rest, a similar board will go into the kitchen where it will be obvious what needs to be done.

It might work. It might not. I know from raising my own kids that chore lists and accountability is a tough thing to teach. With my own kids we had a "see something do something about it" system and they had responsibility for a lot of their own day to day stuff. By the time they were teens they didn't really require much supervision on that. S's kids aren't the same in any way at all.

It's tough. I'm not the Dad here. I don't feel that it's my place to dole out punishments but on the other hand, I'm a grown man and should be able to deal with things on my own. I'm fine with setting boundaries and letting the boys know that there needs to be respect and when they've crossed the line. It was good that S had my back, didn't try to gloss over anything, didn't make a scene about it. I will admit that I've been giving the boys a lot of slack, not because I'm trying to be a "nice guy" but probably more because it's easier to just deal with things myself than push them to be accountable and responsible.

I also think that S is going to be a bit more pro-active in staying on top of the boys too as she as well has been giving them a bit of a free ride.


On BD
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T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Free parrot with every peg leg [Re: AndrewP] #2902611
08/24/20 11:08 PM
08/24/20 11:08 PM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,834
Midwest
D
DonH Offline
Member
DonH  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,834
Midwest
Originally Posted by AndrewP
I will admit that I've been giving the boys a lot of slack, not because I'm trying to be a "nice guy" but probably more because it's easier to just deal with things myself than push them to be accountable and responsible.

Thereby playig right into their hands. Andrew, please donít be outwitted by a 13-year-old. You not requiring him to be accountable and responsible does him no favors. He needs to learn these things. He just knows if he balks at it long enough youíll just do it for him, he wonít have to, and he wins. Again, donít get outwitted by a child.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
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