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I wanted to give you this one too.

Whose Mouth Do I Speak With
Suzanne Rancourt

I can remember my father bringing home spruce gum.
He worked in the woods and filled his pockets
with golden chunks of pitch.
For his children
he provided this special sacrament
and we'd gather at this feet, around his legs,
bumping his lunchbox, and his empty thermos rattled inside.
Our skin would stick to Daddy's gluey clothing
and we'd smell like Mumma's Pine Sol.
We had no money for store bought gum
but that's all right.
The spruce gum
was so close to chewing amber
as though in our mouths we held the eyes of Coyote
and how many other children had fathers
that placed on their innocent, anxious tongue
the blood of tree?


I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
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UPDATE...

Tomorrow marks the 4 year mark of the ILYBINILWY conversation. WOW!!! How time flies when you are totally $&#%!# up! HAHA!!!

Got a phone call today from her and we had a great hour long conversation talking about everything under the stars. She is onto guy number 4 I think. But, not my circus anymore. I simply expressed my curiosity of how this guy is around my children and making sure that he treats them with kindness and respect. All is well from what she says. (I have asked my D18 as well and she says that he is nice).

Interestingly, it doesn't hurt anymore to have discussions with her. I have let go of the hurt and the pain. Is that moving on, or just healing? While I still pray for her daily, and probably still have a crack in my door for her, I have given it all to God.

My D18 graduated last month and will be leaving for college next month. I know this departure will be rough on the ex as they act like best friends.

My oldest S22 still lives with me 24/7...love him to death. He is a great kid and has helped my healing by just being a warm body in the house...for that matter, my 100# dog has also. HAHA!

The youngest will be in 8th grade next year and is my smartest child by far. He will go far in this world. He is very soft spoken, but his soft heart is awesome.

The GAL activities keep going...golf, guitar, piano, beer making, fishing, cycling, gym time (personal gym), reading, listening to pod casts, men's faith sharing group leader, divorce ministry leader, increased activities with my nieces and nephew as well as my brothers.

Expanding business opportunities currently with real estate investing, remodeling, and new pool/outdoor kitchen construction.

I am currently using that saying..."What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger"...and changing it to "What doesn't kill you, steers you into the path that God actually made you for". We have all been placed here on earth for a reason...we just need to keep asking him to guide us and lead us in the correct path to reach that goal.

I pray for all of the old guard on here daily...and will continue to add the new peeps to that list. Keep on keepin' on!!!

Much Love and Respect!!!


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
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FINAL UPDATE...

I got an extremely nice text from my ex today letting me know that she and the wonderful guy that she has known since the Wuhan Flu hit our shores are now engaged. I have been made aware that she is very happy and that he is very good to his daughter and also to my 3 kids.

I thought that I would feel some kind of hurt with news like this...I feel something, but I cannot clarify exactly what it is. I guess you get to a detached spot where the pain isn't noticeable any longer. I have prayed myself blue and I guess instead of them being answered, He has allowed my body and mind to heal to the place I am now. It is a blessing for sure, because just a short while ago, this news would have torn me apart.

Thank you all for being there for me and all of us that are going thru this.


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
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Hello SBJ

I am glad to hear how good the relationships are between you and your kids. It’s nice to have a full time kid in the house too. And even a 100 pound dog. smile

XW’s engagement news is both shocking, and not, at the same time. I suspect you know what I mean. Same with your hard to describe feeling regarding this news. Hard to put into words, yet understood.

Yes, your path and healing is a blessing. Our prayer are always answered, perhaps not on our timeline, sometimes the answer is yes, and sometimes the answer is no. Have faith and continue forward.

Originally Posted by SBJ
FINAL UPDATE...

Am I reading too much into that?

Take care my friend.

D


Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.
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SBJ,
Hope you still pop in from time to time. While this is shocking news, there's a difference between being engaged and being married or even staying married.

A wise friend told me rejection is God's protection.

xoxoxo

many blessings my friend.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Originally Posted by SBJ
FINAL UPDATE...

I got an extremely nice text from my ex today letting me know that she and the wonderful guy that she has known since the Wuhan Flu hit our shores are now engaged. I have been made aware that she is very happy and that he is very good to his daughter and also to my 3 kids.


I am struck by your calling her text "extremely nice" and the guy as someone who is "very good" to his kids.

Those are part of a false narrative.

How can anyone be considered nice or good when they have destroyed their families?

Or when they decide to marry someone who they have known for less than 6 months?

The idea that anyone would reject you is so astonishing to me, it helps me to understand my own sitch better, that if it's not about you, so obviously, it must not be about me either.

But I'm with bttrfly on the rejection and on whether or not this thing will actually happen, let alone last. People need to legitimize things in an effort to get rid of the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Mine called the OW "my secret other wife" as her text name. (Which was nice to discover the day I came home from my mastectomy.)

You still inspire me with your devotion to God and your faith in His plan.

Lots of love to you, whether or not this round hurts for real or in a detached way.

Last edited by Gerda; 07/14/20 02:05 PM.

I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
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Thank you guys for the kind words...I guess I used the Final Update think in jest.

DnJ...my oldest (S22) and my dog have truly been lifelines to ease the craziness. You are correct in that it may or may not happen. I am continuing to pray for her and my children...because that is what I do and who I am. Nothing will change that.

bttrfly...I agree that God has a plan for us and sometimes closes and opens doors so that we stay on track to accomplish the goals we were created to accomplish. I will continue as I have for a long while and check back monthly. I have tried to stay off daily because I find myself getting sucked in longer and longer each time.

Gerda, during our men's faith group last night, one of the guys posed a similar curiosity about several of the guys. Many of us are divorced and he said he knew why his marriage crumbled because he was a @$$, but he could see no reason why several of our wives had left. I pulled from my experience here to explain to him that maybe, just maybe the wives left because of internal turmoil within themselves. It is difficult for some people to accept, but that is it in a nutshell. We could have been as perfect as possible and they still would have left because of something within themselves.

This guy that my ex has latched onto is a very successful guy financially. Maybe this is what she thinks will fill the void that she feels. I truly don't know, but fortunately I have been able to detach enough that the pain isn't pulling me apart. He is her 4th serious BF during the last 4 years. It kind of reminds me of the Samaritan woman at the well...she was continuously searching to fill the void with things and many husbands...only to be left empty.

13 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:13-14


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
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I'm sorry about this "extremely nice text message".

I just want to say I'm encouraged by your faith in light of these events and your commitment to God and prayer.

For me, I feel like this whole situation has, instead of strengthening my faith, made me doubt everything.


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
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DnJ, bttrfly, and Gerda...I appreciate all of your kind words and good wishes. This has been a trying time for sure. People like you is what keeps all of us going in the right direction.

Gordie,I'm happy that I can encourage you in your faith. God hasn't left either of us during this trying time even though it seems like nothing is going our way at times. All I have tried to do is stay focused on me and my kids.

I'm steps closer to opening another business and trying to separate myself from my in-laws business even more.

I have come to grips with the fact that, as many have always said, this is a marathon and not a spring. I'm thinking that this is an ULTRA-marathon...it seems like I have gone much more than the standard 26.2 miles. HAHA! Everyone's journey is different in length and outcome.

The last 4 years seem to have flown by for me...even though they seem to have dragged on forever.

This pandemic experience has felt like a bad episode of The Twilight Zone to me...I found out they were dating. Shortly thereafter I hear they are engaged after 3 months of a courtship. Yesterday she tells me, via "Extremely Friendly Text" that the have purchased a home right around the corner of my home and that they are moving in next week. It seems like there is a huge rush for everything to happen. Maybe they are rushing to get everything done within 6 months because all of the other relationships ended at about that point.

I am at a point where, while I am still wanting to stand for her...I know it's weird, but I also know that I miss the feeling of having someone to share life with...other than my faithful 100# dog.

All I know is that God has great plans for us all and that I don't know what they are yet. I can only try and keep the faith that He is guiding me the entire way. Keep the faith my friend.


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 875
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Update and a plea for prayers

My hometown is in the direct path for Hurricane Laura. I’d like to ask that everyone pause and say a prayer for all of the people that stayed that they will remain safe. My ex decided to stay with her new guy, so I packed up my kids and dogs and evacuated to Central Texas. The last time one this strong hit was Rita and our area was without water and power for weeks. Prayers for everyone on here going thru storms of their own as well.

God bless all!!!


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
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