I have asked him to leave several times and he has not done so. He claims he will not be able to contribute to any joint bills if he moves out and uses that as his excuse.
H and Me - Both 45; S13 and D9 BD - 11/2019 Married 14 years; Together 20 years
I feel that him going out only he and God knows where interacting with people is putting our kids in jeopardy of contracting coronavirus. Maybe I am alone with these concerns.
It's valid to be concerned about an extra exposure, but to put things in perspective, your risk profile is about the same as if he divorced you and remarried her, which is legal and common in the US. It's frustrating to raise your concerns and have them fall on deaf ears, but consider limiting risks that are under your control--e.g., visits to shops, good handwashing, and protective gear. Maybe he'd be more willing to comply with those methods of limiting exposure since they don't require him to discard someone important to him.
Of course, if you can get him to leave, that's even better.
I feel that him going out only he and God knows where interacting with people is putting our kids in jeopardy of contracting coronavirus. Maybe I am alone with these concerns.
It's valid to be concerned about an extra exposure, but to put things in perspective, your risk profile is about the same as if he divorced you and remarried her, which is legal and common in the US. It's frustrating to raise your concerns and have them fall on deaf ears, but consider limiting risks that are under your control--e.g., visits to shops, good handwashing, and protective gear. Maybe he'd be more willing to comply with those methods of limiting exposure since they don't require him to discard someone important to him.
Of course, if you can get him to leave, that's even better.
Yeah, clearly this woman means everything to him, so much so that he is willing to jeopardize all including his children's health, to be with her several nights a week. I give up. I am actually out of DB mode at this point. He utterly disgusts me and, if this is the person he has become, reconciliation is no longer a goal. He has done too much damage to the relationship.
H and Me - Both 45; S13 and D9 BD - 11/2019 Married 14 years; Together 20 years
Well, even if you don't want to R, I'd recommend staying in DB mode for you. Personally, I live alone with my children and have for two months. DBing has been great for my mental health.
But, if you can get him to leave, that does sound ideal.
