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AndrewP Offline OP
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It's Monday!

Got up to my alarm to try to work on production planning. I had the morning plan 1/2 done when the guy who currently does it sent me his draft with "how's it going"? I think I need to set my alarm earlier especially if I think that I'm going to get a cup of tea.

I'm learning that with the new responsibilities that there is frantic action through the early morning and then it calms down. I need to adjust my hours and processes for that as I'm still in my PJs by nearly lunch time. There are soo many moving parts. Rail cars, containers, trucks, tank levels, fittings and gaskets. Most of which I will just need to "know" with the help of a chalk board that my daughter used to write poems on that now shows tank levels and container inventories.

This is going to really require me to up my game. I fumbled the ball today and the truck showed up and the plant didn't know what to load because I didn't send out the list even though I had it set up.

------------

Busy busy weekend - which of course didn't go at all as planned. I think I'm getting better with the unplanned. Something of an achievement for me as anyone who knows me will understand.

The plan had been for me to be here on my own, cleaning and organizing. No big Sunday Supper but a nice bottle of wine with whatever I felt like scrounging up. Yeah - that went sideways.

S and S13 ended up staying the whole weekend and are actually still here for now. I believe that S13 is heading back to his Dad's place and S to her apartment later this afternoon.

It worked better for them and is what my new normal will be. It didn't really adjust my plans much other than Sunday evening. I know that some will say that I'm allowing S to railroad right over my own wishes and plans and there is a certain amount of truth to that. What I'm learning about S and her family though is that plans are subject to the hands of fate. Even a number of S's own plans for the weekend were derailed. It's really just a matter of how we deal with it. I'm not one guy with 2 cats who has full control of the agenda. Like my changes at work, there's a lot of moving parts involved.

BUT it was a good weekend and I feel positive about it. I got a lot of S25's stuff out of random corners and organized. Some that he won't be taking (his baby stuff etc) was carefully packed as per his wishes and put in the back of a closet where it will be out of the way. Other stuff was bagged and organized.

I got the bedroom closets all emptied, found an astounding amount of old and rather tatty sheets etc that are bundled up now to donate to an animal sanctuary where they can be put to good use.

One very good thing with S and S13 being here is that she got a decent Mother's Day out of it. S13 got up first and I asked him if he wanted to do a breakfast in bed for his mother. He did and thought that chocolate chip pancakes would be a good idea so I pulled out my "lonely girl" recipe and walked him through it. Especially considering that it was gluten free flour he did great. He had to stand on a stool to mix and cook being so short but that worked well. As a 13 year old will, he shrugged the accomplishment off as "no big" but - yeah - pretty big. I think that this was his first time cooking something on the stove "by himself" and certainly the first time that he's done something like pancakes. I'm pretty proud of him. His mother was certainly very pleased too. She'd at best hoped for cereal. She said later that she heard the two of us conspiring the night before to get him a blank card for him to fill out for her.

That afternoon her two daughters, son-in-law and grandson showed up. No hugging of babies was allowed. It was pretty obvious that they were settling in for a good visit so around 5:00 I excused myself and made Sunday Supper. I think that the thought that perhaps everyone should eat hadn't crossed anyone's mind except perhaps for D19. I'm glad that my kitchen skills are such that I can just "make stuff" more or less. Meatloaf, steamed vegetables with cheese sauce, mashed potatoes. Ice cream from the plant where S25 works for dessert. I put it together and did all the clean-up on my own. D25 - unsurprisingly - came through multiple times asking if she could help despite having a toddler (he's got a tooth!) to watch. D19 "offered to help" when her mother threw a towel at her but as I've mentioned in the past, I find the quiet "me" time doing the clean-up after a meal to be something I like.

Unfortunately S17 didn't join us but oddly nobody really seemed to mind. Odd family dynamic. He was working and went to bed early at their apartment.

D19 was "joking" while she was here that she hoped to get a key so that she could raid the fridge. I told her "no way - I need to know how much ice cream I have". I'm confident that S will back me up on that as we both know that it's a slippery slope with that one.

So - S got the very nice Mother's Day where she didn't have to do anything other than visit with her kids. It was very appreciated by all. I'm not worried about reciprocity as on my birthday in March S did essentially the same thing for me. It's neither a competition nor something to keep score on.

----

Some further good news - I'm taking some of 20S' stuff up to her on Wednesday and sent a video of the other stuff and she's going to identify what goes to the dump of what is visible. When cleaning out closets I found another mattress packing bag and got a lot more stuff moved into the back porch.

Some sadder news. A former colleague of mine from the chemical industry has lost her job. The market share in her area has gone down because of some poor choices by her employer and she's out. Not a good time for that to happen especially in an industry where personal connections are so important. She called me to chat and then had to go - I think she's getting a "lot" of calls and perhaps won't be on the beach for long.


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Quote
I think I'm getting better with the unplanned. Something of an achievement for me as anyone who knows me will understand.


Good job!
(Tell me, was it Tiger Tail ice cream??)

You should, however, accept offers by the kids to help with the dishes. Yeah I know, you like that solitary time, but on a day like this, letting them help you may also help you get to know them better - and prevent them from taking you TOO much for granted.

kml #2894643 05/12/20 12:14 AM
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Originally Posted by kml
(Tell me, was it Tiger Tail ice cream??)

You should, however, accept offers by the kids to help with the dishes. Yeah I know, you like that solitary time, but on a day like this, letting them help you may also help you get to know them better - and prevent them from taking you TOO much for granted.
Peanut Butter Crunch frozen yogurt and French Vanilla ice cream. Personally I'm not a fan of the mixed types of flavours but on the other hand I eat very few sweets including ice cream. Cookies are my downfall though.

Point taken on the dishes. I was joking with S's D25 that I am still working on having others in "my" kitchen. To that point though, S made dinner tonight and it didn't bother me at all beyond the fact that she doesn't work quite as tidy as I do which I accept. She even helped with the dishes. I think in some ways it bothers her more than me that I do so much in the kitchen as she's used to a more traditional role being a SAHM. She's taking S13 to his Dad's place tomorrow morning and then back here on Wednesday night as she has an appointment for her van at the garage around the corner run by one of my cousins. Probably at her apartment Thursday / Friday in preparation for the big move on the weekend. Fingers crossed for good weather. I'll be checking in with DnJ on Thursday to see what he's sending me.


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Accomplishments today!

I got a lot of 20S's stuff, especially the bigger pieces of furniture delivered to her at her grandma's place where she's staying. And it was in part her idea. She didn't seem annoyed at the fact that I brought more than she asked for. She made me a burger for dinner. Overall she seems to be doing fairly well all things considered. She is "very" upset at my ex still though for blocking her on social media. She's been friendly and has visited her (with S25) a few times and has also just chatted on the phone. She doesn't know what she's "done" to cause her to be blocked and it bothers her. She went on quite the rant about it and has been complaining it seems to my ex-wife's besties about it too.

20S' big queen mattress that S13 has been using will go to her Mom's hopefully sometime next week which will be good too.

---

The general store across the street is at least partially re-opened as of today. I didn't go over as I didn't need anything. It's good that this important community resource is back up and running and that the many people that are employed there are getting back to work. Hopefully all stay safe.

The same people own the store where my ex works one village over which I presume is open. This explains why I was rather startled when stopped on the side of the road late this afternoon double-checking the security of the load of 20S stuff I had to see my ex come zooming up the road in her easily identifiable car. Since I was standing beside the trailer on a lonely country road she couldn't have helped but see me. She didn't even wave and I was so startled I didn't think to crazy The nerve laugh

----

I stopped off a S's apartment on the way home - large bag of bunny poop to put into my compost heap. She's slowly packing, is dealing with her landlady who is being a bit of a pain. I fully expect that this weekend's move will "work" but that it's going to be a slow haul of one load after another for the next month. On the other hand I could well be wrong.

Her wee dog is staying here (makes sense) and was a Very Good Girl when I was away for so long. She got to sleep in the big bed with me last night (spoiled dog) as did Amy. When I got home she was very excited and ran and ran and ran in big circles in the back yard. She and Amy are getting along fine. The other cat Liz is more than a bit of a bully and the dog is learning that bullies aren't tolerated here.


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Originally Posted by AndrewP


The same people own the store where my ex works one village over which I presume is open. This explains why I was rather startled when stopped on the side of the road late this afternoon double-checking the security of the load of 20S stuff I had to see my ex come zooming up the road in her easily identifiable car. Since I was standing beside the trailer on a lonely country road she couldn't have helped but see me. She didn't even wave and I was so startled I didn't think to crazy The nerve laugh

----



I wouldn't take it personally - she was probably just as startled as you.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
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Andrew your post re: chicken marsala ... I just found this. thought of S :

Gluten Free Pumpkin Cheesecake

Mix 3 x 8 oz cream cheese (softened at room temp) with
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
2 tbsp all-purpose gluten free flour
Beat until smooth low to medium with electric mixer
Add 1/2 cup sour cream, mix
Add three large eggs ( mixing one at a time) and 1 tsp vanilla extract
Add 15 oz plain pumpkin purée

Crust:
7 oz package gluten free ginger snaps, crushed
1/3 cup walnuts, ground up (optional)
1/2 stick butter (4 tbsp) melted
Mix ingredients and pat into bottom of buttered 9 inch springform pan (make sure you grease the pan and cover the outside bottom and bottom edges with foil in case of leakage)

Pour filling into pan on top of crust
Place on a baking sheet in 325 degree oven
(You can place a flat roasting pan with 1-1/2 inches water on the shelf below or place it in a water bath - I had good luck with just putting the roaster on the shelf below. You can also do without but the cheesecake is more likely to crack).

Bake at 325 in preheated oven for 70-80 minutes, until mostly set. Turn off oven and open oven door slightly, and leave in oven for 45 minutes. Then let cool on counter and refrigerate, covered, overnight or at least 4 hours. Decorate with walnut halves or candies walnuts if desired and serve with whipped cream.


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Yes! That’s the GF cheesecake recipe I posted last winter. SOOO yummy!

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cool, now I know who to give credit to !! tyty


M 20+ T25+
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D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
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I thought it looked familiar. I will have to give it a try some time. S used to do allergen free baking for the local farmers market so has quite a few recipes already. But it would be nice to surprise her with this.

As a laugh - one of the news articles that just crossed my field of vision is of our Premier (like a governor for US folks) is going to have a press conference today to release his cherry cheesecake recipe. Even though I didn't care for him when he took office - didn't think much of him personally and disagreed with many policies - I am impressed on how our public officials have stepped up during this time, been a calm voice in the storm and - largely - set politics aside in the interests of public service.

Last day before move-in date. I have some final preparations to make here, disassembling and removing the dining room table, a desk that is surplus and the kitchen stove to the garage. I have an offer on the stove but since I assured the potential buyer that it probably wouldn't fit into the back of his Civic he's going to come next week to look at it. I have a back-up offer or 2 on the stove. The desk and table will hopefully be picked up from the side of the road where I'll set them when we have a couple of consecutive nice days.

S is here right now as she stayed after her van repair appointment with one of my cousins. It turned out that she needed a new wheel bearing and not brakes so ouch goes the bank account. We've still not completely figured out the merged finances. I talked to my lawyer yesterday and he's not doing anything like pre-nups etc right now as he will only do them with in-person meetings so that he can assure himself that there is no undue influence. Annoying but one of the realities of the world right now.

S has rented a U-Haul for the move. A bit bigger than what she needs, but it was the size of truck they had available and it's better to be too big than too small. I am under strict instructions to not be part of the loading or much of the unloading and going up and down stairs with heavy loads. S's S17, her daughter's boyfriend and the two girls are going to be doing the lifting and carrying. She's treating this as "no big" and not complicated at all and since given her history she's moved numerous times and occasionally on short notice, I'm trusting her on that. We still have another 6 weeks to get her apartment emptied.

The interregnum between S25 moving out and S moving in certainly wasn't the quiet bachelor time that I was planning on. But that's fine. I've been so busy with work and other things that I've not been able to get some of the stuff around the house done that I'd been planning on doing before the move - but it will all sort out I'm sure.

The current plan is to load in the big stuff on Saturday and then using a combination of my utility trailer and the van to shift stuff over the next few weeks as needed. We'll stage the boxes etc upstairs and down and then know that it will take several passes to right-size and consolidate. Hopefully the donation centres will be open and we can have some yard sales to get rid of the excess.

I've not heard from S25 since mid-last week. I'm presuming he's doing well. Not sure if he'll be by on Sunday for dinner. Not sure what I'll be making either. Sunday is supposed to be rainy and is planned as a rest day after moving the heavy stuff Saturday.

My cardiologist cancelled my appointment for a stress test and will rebook at some point. The voice-mail they left asked if I was having any symptoms so I talked to their voice-mail and let them know that generally I am ok but know that I'm not 100%. Some fluid accumulates in my legs through the day so poorer circulation than I had previously. Since this was booked after my angina issues probably 5 months + ago it's probably not a priority for the medical community. S is being very aware as am I though.

S signed us up for a free couples workshop with her IC in 2 weeks on communication skills etc. I can tell sometimes when she takes things I say wrong and visa versa. We certainly have some work to do and I do expect it to be an on-going thing that we watch. I'm confident that my ex and I didn't communicate our wants, needs and opinions as well as we should have. Whether that contributed to the ending of the marriage or not could be debated.

For a "quiet" day, work is crazy as per other thread I posted on. About 30 emails in the last 2 hours starting at 7:30 - about 1/3 of which were marked urgent. And about 60% of which wouldn't have been necessary if I could have just stuck my head around my colleagues doorway to ask / answer the questions. I was pleased yesterday when the company president assured me that he felt that in 6 months or so that I would be fully up to speed in my expanded role. It's been about 2 weeks so far and I'm confident that if he didn't think I was up to it that I wouldn't be doing it. I do have to bite my tongue a few times when he corrects me on things that I already know or gets involved in things that he's told me to handle. Probably tough on his side too to see someone else do the job that he's done on his own for 30 years or so. I've made sure that he (and everyone else) knows how much I appreciate their help as I get up to speed which undoubtedly gives them patience as I make fumble around.

Well - time to make a second pot of tea now that my short break is over and dive back into the pile of messages.


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Move in day today. I think I overdid it a bit yesterday afternoon moving furniture out that is being replaced by what S is bringing. The desk that my son used to use was indeed quite heavy and almost got away from me as I was taking it down the stairs by myself.

I also swapped out a light-switch cover that had been a house-warming present from my ex-wife's best friend of the time and put it with the stuff for S25 to take out. He's been decent about taking sentimental stuff of his mother's that happens to still be here even when he is pretty sure that he doesn't want it.

It does still baffle me on how she seemingly closed down her past life. I have no idea if any of this stuff actually makes it to her. I do know that the paper towel holder that was hand-made by her mother and a Christmas gift in the early 90s sat in S25's room for years. Other than one book case I can't think of anything else now that I would be needing to worry about tossing as something that had sentimental value to her. And she was absolutely a sentimental person.

CL when she stayed over remarked that the vibe she got from the decorating was that my ex was very much a romantic person and I would tend to agree. It worked well for us as I am too. We held hands whenever we walked anywhere until I found out about her affair and she physically distanced herself from me. Always lots of ILU and each hello and goodbye required a kiss. The couple of times I've seen her and OM together there certainly wasn't that sort of vibe. But then again, especially in this rural area, it's not very common for men to be physically romantic.

I was reminded of CL when some facebook memories popped up. She was certainly - at least from my point of view in hind-sight - in hot pursuit for quite a while. I can't help but wonder "what if" - but that ship has sailed and it was best for me at least that it never docked. We've remained friends though which is good.

I was thinking the other day that one of the key things that I have learned in the last few years and the experiences that I've had is that it's Ok to let someone go. It doesn't mean that they or you are a bad person, just that you are going in different directions. I used to joke that "the three magic words that - ahem - saved my marriage - where 'Have Fun Dear'". Certainly a bit of a parallel. But just because someone is attracted / attractive in the moment doesn't mean that they are there to ride alongside you for all time.

S is also a romantic and has a layer of silly on top of it which is fun. When she backs her van out of the drive we wave frantically at each other and yell "I love you" loudly at each other. No clue what the neighbours think. I like it.

I've noticed that one of the owners of the shop across the street has aged a "lot" in recent times". She is older - perhaps early 70s - but had been a "sturdy" woman. Now she seems just frail. Her husband (the other owner) stopped in front of my house yesterday to give her a level spot to get out of the van and it took her a long time to climb down. It's amazing how quickly someone's health can take a turn. Certainly a reminder to not take anything for granted and to enjoy each day to the fullest.

S's - or more accurately now - "our" little dog has been staying here so it was just me with the three critters last night. All three girls seem to be coming to a sort of truce as time goes by. Liz is still a bully but she's starting to care less. I spoiled them by leaving the bedroom door open and they wandered in and out peaceably. The dog and I sat out in the back yard in the evening after I moved the furniture while I had a beer and we listened in the twilight to the frogs singing in the creek behind the house. She thought they were barking at her I think and barked back for a while and then sat up on the bench next to me just chillin. It was good. It will be better when there's the three of us out there. Certainly a lot different than living in an apartment in the centre of town where barking isn't allowed. We are still working on some basic obedience. As a Malti-Poo she's whip smart but also stubborn and a bit choosy on what commands she'll listen to. All I care about are the safety ones - come / sit / stay. I won't yell at her but she knows when I'm disappointed with her. I try to reinforce the positive as much as possible letting her know when she does things right and when she behaves.

Just laughed - my paragraph about the dog is longer than the one about my ex-wife I think.

Well - time to wrap up I think. Not sure when S will be by with the first load. She still has some furniture at her STBX's house where D19 lives (not her Dad - it's just - complicated) so that is the priority with the rental truck. She figures that he'll help load. D19's boyfriend is currently MIA. S was told yesterday that "he's gone to his mother's" unexpectedly for an in-determinant amount of time. They had been living together for over a year but things had always been tumultuous. So maybe this is the final break - being isolated together is tough on any relationship.

This was a lot longer than intended but I do have a tendency to ramble on.

It's a gorgeous sunny day here today. A good day to begin a new chapter.


On BD
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I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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