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A Message from Michele
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BluWave Offline OP
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Hi everyone,

Thank you for weighing in. It's a lot to process at the moment. I have things to say, but I also don't have energy for fruitless arguing or negativity. There is no excuse for that as this is a site designed for support! It is not any social media. I am only posting because there are some awesome people here that I like and respect and I hope to keep in contact with them in some way. I will think more on what I can add and be back. I'll update my sitch more at some point in the future as well.

I am in a really good place in my life right now. I have no space for drama. We have been taking some wonderful family vacations. I am in good health. My kids are doing well. My marrriage is in a good place. I adore my friends and have been catching up with old friends too. .... Unfortunately, COVID cases are ramping up again thanks to all you anti-vaxers, and it is incredibly stressful and busy at work now. Every day we see more cases, people sick and dying, and our hospital is overhwhelmed again. This was completely avoidable if more people would vaccinate and not allow the virus/variants to continue spreading and mutating. We have some folks dying right now that simply should not be. It is hard not to feel resentful towards ignorate people and communites (in the US specifally). I try to be positive, to take good care of myself and my own health and safety, and try not to let it get me down. Some days work just takes it all out of me. Wonderful nurses are resigning every week and therefore the rest of us shoulder that heavier burden as well.

I'll be back around. I am not going anywhere quite yet. I do appreciate those of you that continue to comment to me, support me and tell me you get something out of my posts. For those of you that are defensive, I would just ask that you please not bring that to my thread and to put your comments elsewhere. I am honestly not interested in reading that. I hope those that have left because of it, and maybe check here one day, will please drop me a line and say hello. I miss you guys. Allison, if you read this, I miss you and I am here for you, sister!

Thank you,
Blu


“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
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I read an article—okay, a third of an article—about a nurse in Arkansas (~35% vax rate) struggling with the rising hospitalizations. She says she goes to work and sees people dying to COVID, then comes home to friends on Facebook saying it’s a hoax, and in the grocery store someone blamed her for their family member’s death, claiming she was giving poor care to bump up the death rate. Those extreme views don’t represent most anti-COVID-vax’rs, of course, but it seems like a challenging time to be a medical professional if you work with those patients. Props and thank you for your service!



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(((Blu)))

What a mess this world is. I'm so sorry you are having to bear the brunt of all that ignorance and selfishness. I am counting the days until they approve the vaccine for children so at least they can be protected. The worst part is that so many of the anti-vaxxers also refuse to wear masks-- it boggles the mind that some folks won't do this one simple thing to protect those around them who can't get the vaccine, even if they don't want to get one themselves. Thank you for your work-- you are truly making a difference and your community is incredibly fortunate to have you on the front lines.

Other than that, I'm glad you're doing well. I am too. I leave tonight to join my family for two of the four-week camper van/National Park trip that had been planned for last year and postponed. With my new job, I couldn't take the full trip, but I'm swinging in for the good parts and will meet them again at the end at my parents' house for a long weekend. I've had this past week on my own which has been heavenly... cleaned the cr@p out of the house and decluttered a ton of stuff from the girls' rooms, ate healthy, slept 8 hours a night, felt no guilt for staying late at work, saw friends for dinner, binged the end of season 3 of the Handmaid's Tale. My older daughter made me a scavenger hunt with sweet notes to find every morning so I wouldn't be lonely. Kids and H are having a ball, seeing tons of wildlife. It's all good.

Thank you for dropping in to let us know how you're doing. Think of you often.

xoxo May


Me (45) H (41)
M:13 T:17, D8 & D11
4/19 BD #1 ILYB
8/19 BD #2 Long-distance EA
12/19 BD #3 Actually 2 year PA
2-5/20 R attempt #1
6/20 limbo again, back in contact with AP
9/20-present R attempt #2
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I will never understand how people from other states interpreted "Stay at home" to mean "Vacation in Colorado".

Originally Posted by BluWave
Unfortunately, COVID cases are ramping up again thanks to all you anti-vaxers, and it is incredibly stressful and busy at work now. Every day we see more cases, people sick and dying, and our hospital is overhwhelmed again. This was completely avoidable if more people would vaccinate and not allow the virus/variants to continue spreading and mutating.
Thank you all you have done and for sharing your first hand accounts of your experience. It is people like you that I trust for my information and helps clarify what the truth is vs all the propaganda.

Have you looked at the virus under a microscope?



"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Originally Posted by Ready2Change
I will never understand how people from other states interpreted "Stay at home" to mean "Vacation in Colorado".

Don't worry, I'm staying out of your state. We're vaccinated, camping outdoors, and wearing masks whenever we are around other people, indoors or out. Obviously riskier than staying at home and took a lot of discussion to decide we were okay with it.

But I feel your pain. My state is overrun with tourists right now too.


Me (45) H (41)
M:13 T:17, D8 & D11
4/19 BD #1 ILYB
8/19 BD #2 Long-distance EA
12/19 BD #3 Actually 2 year PA
2-5/20 R attempt #1
6/20 limbo again, back in contact with AP
9/20-present R attempt #2
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BluWave Offline OP
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Hi friends,

As you can see I am avoiding the individual messages regarding board usage and conflict :-) I don't feel like it. Not worth the mental energy and I don't have a solution to the problem. We each need to be responsible for how we conduct ourselves and treat others, IRL and online. I do not believe that because this is an online forum, or even considered social media, that makes it okay to be rude. It is never okay to be rude. Spend a few moments to think clearly how you can be helpful and kind before you speak or type -- to your partner, children, a person in the grocery store, or a stranger online. That is being a good human. I hope that happens so that more people will feel safe to post and share here.

I will continue to update. I know when I started reading here 7 plus years ago, I followed several posters and found it helpful and comforting. Perhaps when it is time to start a new thread, I will move this over to piecing. Also, I love it when my friends drop in here and say hello and update me! Keeping doing that, please!

So my H and I have been back together for 6.5 years. We started dating pretty seriously over 20 years ago. Just wow. I still feel young. It is funny how different we were back then but also in some ways the same. You guys know what I mean. There are certain characteristics to our personalities that don't change over time. Our life experiences and the way we approach others is constantly evolving. It is funny to think about the way I saw my H when I met him. I had him on a pedestal and saw what I wanted to see. What I didn't like I somehow thought he should change or improve upon. Now I think I see him more clearly. I think it's better that I accept his flaws and understand him than work on helping him to be a better person. I hope that makes sense.

In general life is going well for me. Work is hard but I accept that. Having had two vacations this summer was great. I have gotten better at self care this year than ever before so I feel more healthy and balanced, physically and mentally. GAL and self care were these concepts that I understood logically but could not seem to embrace and practice on any continual basis. Something just clicked for me. I feel good. Also, my children are getting older and more independent. It is really hard to get alone time with kids under 10 and esp under 5. My youngest is now 11 and in middle school; such an awesome kid with so many talents. My middle girl is applying to colleges this fall so I am excited to support her on that adventure. She is such a big brain and mature, balanced person, and I know she will do amazing things in this life. My oldest is living with several housemates, working and going to school, committed to therapy, and I am so proud of her.

Friends, drop in and say hello right here. I love your updates and hearing from you. To all the people out there reading and not posting, I hope you can take something away from my story. You can read all of my threads that are listed on the first post of this thread. Just remember one thing: this is only one difficult moment in your long, complicated and beautiful life. It will not feel like this forever. That I know 100%

Blu

Last edited by BluWave; 08/28/21 06:37 PM.

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
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Hey Blu,

Been away for a long time and I just decided to pop in and give an update. Looking forward to reading your thread and see how you doing.


No one is coming to save you!

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Hey Blue,

Just wanted to let you know I read your update and am glad life's going (mostly) well. (:



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Hi Blu,

So good to hear from you and glad things are going so well. I had a question for you-- I think I recall that your H had some pretty major nice-guy tendencies and working through that was a big thing for him and for your M-- do I recall that correctly? Is that not an issue at all anymore or still something you guys need to talk about and keep an eye on?

I'm doing well. We had an incredible trip (and I had a couple of weeks on my own at home, as I couldn't take off enough time for the whole trip with my new job, which was also quite lovely and relaxing). I flew to meet H and the kids in my hometown for the end of the trip, which coincided with my parents' 50th anniversary and I saw my brothers and parents for the first time in person since this whole pandemic started. My H ended up having to fly to his hometown to help out his parents as his mom had to have emergency surgery and his dad wasn't going to be capable of caring for her on his own when she came back from the hospital. Girls and I flew home and we're all back and school and work. H comes back this week.

I am less angry though it does still crop up some. When we were on the trip, something that DnJ talks about-- relying on your beliefs-- finally made sense to me. I'd been turning it over and over and hadn't really been able to figure it out in practice, though it made sense philosophically. All of a sudden it hit me-- what do I believe in? I believe in love, in the ability of people to change and grow, and in forgiveness. But I wasn't really living that out in my R with my H-- I had been still holding onto anger, diving back into it almost as a weird safety blanket when I started to feel too comfortable. Like my anger hadn't been fully assuaged and so I needed to check back in there so it wouldn't go away until I was ready. When I made that shift to realize that wasn't who I was at heart, or at least who I wanted to be, and it suddenly all felt so much better. Like I could finally take him at face value when he says ILY or I'm so happy we're doing this and be happy back, not having that suspicious troll in the back of my head say REALLY??? Anyway, we still have a long ways to go, I think, but that did feel like a pretty major shift for me. It hasn't been totally consistent, but I do feel like I'm moving forward.

I love my job, it is the most fulfilling thing I've ever done. Both girls are amazing. I'm starting to have these little pangs of this won't last forever, they won't always want to hold my hand and slip into my bed to snuggle in the mornings and call me Mommy... so trying to just squeeze every drop out of every moment with them.

I might start a new thread over on piecing and stop hijacking yours smile We will see.

Thanks for checking in here. Your endless compassion and wisdom just shine through in every post you write. I will always be incredibly grateful to you for how you helped me through such difficult times here-- I really don't know what I would have done without you.

xx May


Me (45) H (41)
M:13 T:17, D8 & D11
4/19 BD #1 ILYB
8/19 BD #2 Long-distance EA
12/19 BD #3 Actually 2 year PA
2-5/20 R attempt #1
6/20 limbo again, back in contact with AP
9/20-present R attempt #2
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All of this is so great Blu and May.

Blu I'm so happy you are taking the time for you during this mess. You deserve it. Lord knows you deserve it after what your life has been at work the last year and a half and god only knows for how much longer. I hope that some of this sticks for you even when things calm down which fingers crossed will be sooner than later for you. And isn't it freeing when those kids can feed themselves and not destroy the house. It's like a whole new lease on life. It's great hearing from you. You should think about coming over to piecing as well.

May, oh my heart is swelling reading this!! You looked the wolf in the eye and asked her to sit back. I'm so proud of you. It isn't easy. And that anger will continue to pop up occasionally, but taking a beat, sitting in it for minute, and asking yourself why you feel like that and investigating that instead of reacting makes it a whole different emotion, and a whole different experience. I swear. Glad to hear about the job, the trip, and girls. And come on over to piecing. It's been quiet. We could used some activity. I need to post over there too.

xoxo

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