There should be ways to set the account to private but you also stop the public and maybe some followers from seeing posts. Unfortunately, I don't think you can just set it to avoid a single person from viewing things, especially if they can make an anonymous account.
Its either open to the public or its not, that's just the the territory with most of these social medial apps. It might be a decision that D17 has to make, if she's really uncomfortable with having certain people view her things, she needs to reconsider the platform shes using. It comes down to accepting the risk of putting your personal info (images/video) in a public space.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
I can find D14 and D17 by my contacts (phone number). I can find D17 by searching her full name. I cannot find D14 this way.
On the front her page it now says "if u are my dad get the eff off my tiktok" and ya'll don't even want to know what her user name is. See H slut shamed her A LOT which made my sweet disney girl rebel. If you ask her what she wants to be when she grows up she will say "a stripper".
Its either open to the public or its not, that's just the the territory with most of these social medial apps. It might be a decision that D17 has to make, if she's really uncomfortable with having certain people view her things, she needs to reconsider the platform shes using. It comes down to accepting the risk of putting your personal info (images/video) in a public space
She ranted, cussed, had a few not so nice words to say about him but then accepted that there really isn't anything she can to do to stop him without giving this up. H is really dumb to think D14 wasn't going to tell D17 everything. Even if H backs off realizing that this really isn't a good decision the damage is already done. D17 cut him out of her life because he yelled at her repeatedly for not fully supporting his pursuit of happiness and it was just downhill from there.
Lol I assumed Facebook when I KNOW kids don’t use FB anymore lol
kml,
It's snapchat and tiktoks now. Instagram is still big I think. I can't keep up. lol
Tiktoks are funny, once you get past all the lame ones. You will lose hours of your time, your battery life, IQ points and your attention span but if you need a funny, time consuming distraction this app is for you.
The thrift stores have reopened so D17 and I went yesterday. Everyone had a mask and no one got within 6 feet of us. It was fabulous but that is not the point of this post.
Before we left I was so down. Read the days meditation from The Daily Stoic (highly recommend this book) and the subject was carpe diem. D17 is here, today and I had a choice. I could either continue wallowing or I could make the best of the day. I chose the latter.
I'd love to say my mood instantly, miraculously improved but I'd be lying. The day was still a slog but I kept coming back to the present, kept moving forward, kept doing what needed to be done and while I'm still sad at least I didn't give up. Today I'm up, doing some housework, reading, trying to sew a little (the machine isn't cooperating), watching cartoons and in this moment I am okay.
S19 went to Hs house to work on his car and since it was 5pm I assumed he’d eat dinner there. No biggie because it’s beans and rice at my place but today after months I wanted a hamburger. But wait D17 doesn’t eat red meat which means I don’t either and poof now I don’t want a burger but I’ve kinda committed to fast food. While we were discussing our options S19 came home. He hates to eat out and he didn’t eat at Hs after all.
S19 said he came home because he didn’t want to upset me. See H parents last minute and it’s annoying when I’ve cooked a meal. I’ve since (or so I thought) come up with ways to cope. S19 then says a few things that make my brain think H is deliriously happy without me.
My mood tanked and my anxiety spiked. This all hit in minutes and I’ve got two hungry teens so it’s not like I can take a walk to calm down.
Over dinner S19 said he thinks H is a horrible person who is biased, closed minded and a bad cook. S19 called H out on the fact that he only cooks 3 things to which H said isn’t true (it is). Here I was feeling like it was my fault S19 didn’t have dinner with his dad (trigger) and now I’m thinking he just used me as an excuse.
Any ideas on how to cope when things like this hit? Something to do when I’ve only got a few minutes to pull it together after I’ve already crashed?
Your mood appears to be inversely proportional to his level of perceived happiness.
You think he is happy, you become depressed and full of anxiety. You think he is miserable, you calm down.
How can you make your mood not depend on him? How can you take back control of your mood and life ? He really doesn’t deserve that much power. No human deserves that much power over someone else.
You should really work hard on finding a way to take control over yourself again. Work on this in IC, read up on this, come up with strategies that work for you
Your mood appears to be inversely proportional to his level of perceived happiness.
This was kind of an indirect trigger and you already know the history I have with my kids. Several months ago I flipped out due to S19 not letting me know he was having dinner with H. It was bad. I discussed this in IC and her first question was "how long has it been since your last one?" I couldn't remember so I asked my kids and they said November 2018. I remember that day but look I made it over a year.
Yesterday S19 left at 5pm so I assumed he would eat there. If I had big dinner plans I would have discussed them with S19 before he left. S19 didn't have dinner there because he didn't want to upset me. That was the trigger.
I beat myself up for hours for being a bad mother and in the end it wasn't even true. S19 used me as an excuse to come home. Once the self flogging started I couldn't stop it. I'm working to manage my anxiety but the issue yesterday was I only had a few minutes.
Here is an example of what I do now. I want to get back into sewing but it's been 30 years. The first time I sat down at that machine I got upset and my anxiety went way up. I then decided I wouldn't sew again until I figured out how to manage my mood. Yesterday I decided to tackle sewing in bits and pieces. Over the course of the day I sat down at that machine 3-4 times walking away after each try. When it was time for dinner I put the machine up having accomplished pretty much nothing but it was okay at least I did something.
