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A country boy (and girl) can survive #2889700
03/18/20 01:56 PM
03/18/20 01:56 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Previous Thread:

It's a nice day for a white wedding....

Day 3 of working from home. Well, third day of the week but actually only 2nd day I have worked from home as I went to my office yesterday for a webinar on virtual labs and a meeting with my fellow faculty. We stayed a good distance apart so we were all good. I did tell my boss I’d be home the rest of the week but if he needed something to let me know. It is going to be an interesting and challenging time for sure, especially after our interesting and challenging time last year that shut down our building and forced us to relocate on campus for a month.

I guess this whole social distancing has good points and bad points. First, I read and listen to a variety of news sources and it sounds like it really works in slowing down transmission of the virus. I’m naturally introverted anyway so being told to stay home and not be around large groups of people really isn’t so bad for me. While it is a challenge to move my class online, I’m able to work from home and still get paid and that is a blessing not everyone has in this uncertainty. Sparky told me this morning he is worried that his company is preparing to shut down and that will be an issue for us because it takes both of our incomes to support our home and his mom’s so we are going to be running super thin if he is out of work. I feel so terrible for all of the healthcare workers who are on the frontline in this battle. My prayers are constantly with them. I feel for the teachers who are struggling to move to online and likely hearing negativity from parents who expect a seamless transition. We were sent an article Friday that talked about how we, as teachers, need to give ourselves a break and just do the best we can with online instruction and to realize not all kids are as tech savvy as we like to think. Sure, some are, but not all of them are, so this is all just as stressful for them. I think the worst part of it is the loonies who are going out and hoarding toilet paper and food as though they are preparing for the apocalypse. The funny thing about the tp is that International Paper, which is one of the largest manufacturers of tp in the country is about 10 miles from my house and they are still working and have a warehouse full of stuff to ship out. But the crazies must be waiting in the truck when it pulls in because shelves in our area remain bare. Fortunately for me, I found some last Friday and I will admit, I did but 2 packages but there were still 40 or 50 left.

Whatever happens in the coming weeks and months, we will all most surely be changed by it. I just hope we are changed for the better.

Last edited by job; 03/18/20 08:04 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread

Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2889783
03/19/20 12:34 PM
03/19/20 12:34 PM
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In Venice you can see the bottom of the canals, birds are swimming and the water is turning from gray/black to an amazing blue. Just gorgeous. The air in China is cleaner than it's been in years, same with northern Italy. The Earth is already healing herself.

Last edited by job; 03/19/20 04:37 PM. Reason: edited posting for bttrfly

M 20+ T25+
S 15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
H moved out 4/24/15
D Final 12/23/16
When God gives you a new beginning don't repeat the same old mistakes. It's 2020, anything could happen; eat dessert first!!!!
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: bttrfly] #2889918
03/20/20 01:28 PM
03/20/20 01:28 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Originally Posted by bttrfly
In Venice you can see the bottom of the canals, birds are swimming and the water is turning from gray/black to an amazing blue. Just gorgeous. The air in China is cleaner than it's been in years, same with northern Italy. The Earth is already healing herself.


I saw some pictures the other day. Isn't that amazing????? Mother Earth really is an amazing thing.


I really hate to complain or be negative, particularly in light of our world situation right now, but I need to vent for a second. Y'all, somebody needs to come get their children! I sent out an assignment to both of my classes on Monday, indicating that it was due back to me by email today at 4:00. The assignment I sent contained 2 links to 2 different online virtual labs with questions attached. One had 8 questions, the other had 4 questions that each had 2 parts. I gave them a whole week to get it done and it honestly really shouldn't take more than an hour at the most, assuming they had computer issues, connection issues, comprehension issues. One hour really should have been more than adequate time, but they had from 9:00 am Monday until 4:00 pm today (that is 103 hours for anyone who doesn't want to bother doing the math). So, one hour to actually do it and 102 more hours to submit it. I get that they have other assignments from other instructors and likely much more involved and difficult assignments, which is why I was trying to get my material out but also to cut them a little slack as we moved to online instruction this week and it is new and different for most of us. I very carefully explained in the email that I sent that the links would have to be accessed from a laptop or desktop as they require Flash Player which is not supported by ios (Safari) or Google Chrome. I explained they would need to use Internet Explorer or some browser other than google to access them. Now, yes, I could have found better links that would allow google or apple products, as a lot of students have those, but these links were what best fit what I was trying to do and I figured students could figure out a way to access them. I also explained in my email that if they could not access them or if they didn't have internet available to them at all to contact me and I would devise an alternate assignment that required no internet connection. I figured the vast majority of students would wait until today to start on their assignments so I was pleasantly surprised when I got a few questions Monday afternoon. Inevitably the "I can't access the websites" questions started and I would have to go back and individually reexplain to those who clearly can't read what platforms they could and could not use to access the links. But, my favorite question and one that I have gotten all week long...………..y'all, seriously...……………….I sent the links through our campus email system and in addition, posted a page with the links under our classroom resources on a known webpage all the students can link to. I kid you not, I had students 7 students out of 37 to be exact, who emailed me to say that when they clicked on the links either in my email or on the resource page that they were not clickable so they couldn't access them. It did not occur to nearly 20% of the class to simply copy and paste or type the web address into the search bar on their search engine. They would rather just spend their time emailing me telling me the links don't work and that they can't access the website than to try and figure it out on their own. People....THIS is our future. Where the h3ll have deductive reasoning and problem solving skills gone????????????? Lord help me through the next 3 weeks of online instruction. I may have to start drinking heavily.


In other news, for now, Sparky is still working. He came home in a really grouchy mood yesterday and I felt like crap (stomach bug, not Corona-like stuff, thank goodness) so we had a relatively quiet, but mildly uncomfortable evening. I hope they continue to work, at least through next week because I am afraid if we are home together too much, I might kill him. LOL Of course, he could be in charge of taking care of the dogs who are SUPER needy when someone is home with them all day.


I hope all of you are staying safe and healthy and staying home and practicing your social distancing when you have to be out. I am at work today, but so far I have only seen the cleaning lady and I just waved at her through the window on my office door....didn't even go out in the hallway to speak to her. I'm trying to stay away from everyone. Looking forward to going back to self isolation later today.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2891171
04/01/20 05:01 PM
04/01/20 05:01 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Day 4529 of working from home. I have made the following observations (in no particular order):

1. Since I live in the middle of the woods and am not deemed an essential employee, staying home and socially distancing is actually pretty easy, particularly since I can grocery shop online and do curbside pick-up. I got this!

2. The introvert in me is actually enjoying being at home but secretly dreading the inevitable shut down of my husband’s job which will keep him home with me all the time. I love the hubs, but I don’t know if I can take that much togetherness.

3. The forced extroversion that my job brings is making me slightly miss actual contact with my students but I’ll get over it.

4. Online instruction [censored]! I’m a visual teacher, talk with my hands, write and draw on the board so having to do everything online is a challenge.

5. I’m doing my part to “flatten the curve” but every time I hear or see that phrase, Waylon Jennings pops into my head singing “Just a good ole boy...”. (Dukes of Hazzard theme song, for those not in the know. There is a line about flattening the hills and straightening the curve.)

6. Our governor [censored]. I already knew this but his lack of attention is really putting it out there on display. Every state around us except Oklahoma (God bless those Okies) has a shelter in place order and closed borders but what is ole Asa saying? “We’ve got great state parks and they are outside so come on over.” All because of a little state law that requires the legislature to end the fiscal year with a balanced budget and he is sh!tting bricks over lost revenues. This thing is bigger than that, man. I have tried so hard to not let politics cloud my thoughts on any of this because I didn’t vote for the man in the first place but if he were to run again, I’d vote for Sarah Huckabee Sanders before I vote for him and I DETEST her. Ugh.......

7. Why the h3ll did I get custody of my XH’s first XW in our divorce??? She is a stupid b!tch. Another fact I already knew but she proved it again yesterday. Long story short but despite the fact that Trump (don’t even get me started on THAT buffoon) has said stay home until April 30, she wanted to know yesterday if we were going to go ahead with middle daughter’s birthday plans on April 18 since there wouldn’t be more than 10 of us. What part of stay home and social distancing don’t you get, lady? I gave her a laundry list of why we would have to postpone but her main reason for wanting to push ahead was now is a good time to do it since all of us who do work are “off”. Uh, NO....I’m working from home. NOT the same as being off. I still have things to do.

8. I’m lazy and unmotivated when left to my own devices. I have to make sure I make myself a schedule or I get very easily distracted. Yikes!

9. We’ve been nursing a very sick puppy back to health and he is doing GREAT. I feel so good about this. He was nearly dead when we found him and now he’s running and playing with our other dogs like a puppy should. YAY and thank you, God, for letting us find him when we did and get him to the vet. She totally saved him and we’re grateful for her guidance in doing the right thing by this precious baby.

10. The corona got Joe Diffie and that makes me SO sad. His music is a part of my last years in college and very ingrained in my fun memories. They just don’t make country music like that anymore. I’m wearing my John Deere “Real Women Wear Green” shirt today in honor of his hit “John Deere Green.” There’s something women like about a pick-up man. Yes, yes there is, Joe. RIP, man.

11. I succumb to peer pressure pretty easily for an old woman. Sparky and I jumped on the bandwagon and binge watched Netflix’s Tiger King this weekend. OMG, y’all. That’s all I got. It was the biggest, gayest, most redneck, wtf, white trash train wreck I’ve ever seen and it was FABULOUS. Ghetto fabulous! Once again, God bless you, Oklahoma. wink

12. Can someone please explain this mask thing to me? This is a serious question and not meant to be facetious or anything. I know a lot of people who are sewing masks. While I don’t sew, I would be glad to purchase necessary materials and give/send them to someone who does, but I keep seeing differing opinions from various news sources saying these masks are worthless. I don’t want to waste resources that might best be used elsewhere if this is, indeed, the case. I don’t know what sources to believe anymore because everything seems so contradictory.

13. Lucky number 13.......THANK YOU healthcare workers, grocery store clerks, pharmacy techs, janitors, truck drivers for being on the front lines and giving the rest of us the ability to stay home and do our part in the fight against this virus. This is a very weird time for all of us, but it is people like you handling business as usual that are keeping this country going right now in the face of adversity.

Stay safe, my db friends. G, kml, anyone else out there fighting this fight for us, you are in my thoughts and prayers every single day. Thank you!


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2891172
04/01/20 05:07 PM
04/01/20 05:07 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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By the way, for those inquiring minds, I said online instruction and our governor $ux! Forgot that word gets censored but it is appropriate in both cases.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2891193
04/01/20 11:06 PM
04/01/20 11:06 PM
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Posts: 3,849
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That was beautiful. I love a good rant!!!

xoxoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S 15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
H moved out 4/24/15
D Final 12/23/16
When God gives you a new beginning don't repeat the same old mistakes. It's 2020, anything could happen; eat dessert first!!!!
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2891195
04/01/20 11:15 PM
04/01/20 11:15 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Thanks, bttrfly! I forgot the main thing I have learned. I freaking LOVE to touch my face. ALL the time.....ugh......


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2891197
04/01/20 11:45 PM
04/01/20 11:45 PM
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Masks do help.
They prevent YOU from spreading germs to other people - even if you are asymptomatic and don't know you are infected. (50% of the people infected are asymptomatic but may still spread the virus).
They can protect you from droplets and from touching your mouth and nose.
They can't totally protect your from aerosols.
You have to wash them nightly.
If you touch the outside of your mask you need to treat it as if you touched a contaminated surface and wash your hands.

Cloth masks work as well as the paper surgical masks you see in the hospital (they still used to be made from cloth when I was a medical student). They are not as effective as the N95 respirators that protect healthcare workers from aerosols from infected patients.

If every lay person wore a mask when they are out shopping etc transmission would go down dramatically - Asian countries know this. If you can't sew yourself a mask, tie a scarf across your face (double layer) when you go out for protection.

The main reasons people were initially told "masks don't help" is they wanted to discourage the public from buying up all the disposable masks.

Some hospitals are taking donations of cloth masks, others are not accepting them. Other places that may accept donations include first responders, nursing homes, grocery clerks (if their store will let them wear them).

My sister has also been sewing surgical caps for the nurses that work with her daughter, so they can keep their hair covered when attending to Covid patients.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2891224
04/02/20 01:30 PM
04/02/20 01:30 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Thanks, kml. I’m not so much worried about a mask for myself since I’m not coming into contact with people on the rare occasion I do go out. I really just wanted to do something, though it may be small, for the healthcare workers in our community. Like I said, I can’t sew but I have a stash of fabric and Sparky’s mom has a bunch of elastic and I was willing to donate and even buy more if I could find it to give to someone who does sew to make masks. But I didn’t want to do all that if the masks weren’t helpful. I wanted to put those resources elsewhere where they could be better utilized.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2891231
04/02/20 02:03 PM
04/02/20 02:03 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,365
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AndrewP Online
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#7 - LOL. So glad that I don't have to deal with any of that ex-spouse nonsense. People in my own circle are taking this all quite seriously but my neighbour works at Walmart and she went on a rant about the people she has to deal with who are all over the map different sorts of crazy.

Stay safe and do your best to stay sane. Take walks in your woods if you can.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2891253
04/02/20 05:32 PM
04/02/20 05:32 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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People here are not paying attention since our governor doesn’t seem to be taking it seriously. I live in a small town but when I went through town Tuesday when I went to my office, Walmart and the grocery store were packed. Seriously????? I just don’t get it.

I wish I didn’t have to deal with the XH’s XW but she has FINALLY gotten her sh!t together and developed a great relationship with the girls and I always feel like I need to include her. It’s a long story but really, my life would be easier without her.

Here is my observation for today: today’s young adults have NO general reasoning skills. I sent a student a screenshot of a website address along with instructions on how to set up an account and the access code to take them directly to my class. I explained, simply I thought, that they would have to copy and paste or type the web address into the search bar because the link on the screenshot wouldn’t be clickable, even though it was correct. Now, 5 emails, 3 texts and a phone call later, the girl emails me and tells me she is confused on how I will “receive” her work. I said the computer logs it for you. A little later, I get an email asking if I got her work. I logged into the website where I can see who has “registered” and what work they have done. She wasn’t even registered. I emailed her back and she then sent me a resource handout I had posted on their class website with 5 questions answered. While I appreciate that she looked at our class website, that was NOT the assignment that I emailed her Monday and have spent a good deal of time electronically communicating about with her for the past few days. AND, I EXPLICITLY explained the assignment and gave all the necessary website info to them in an email on Monday. Now I get yet another email about how she can’t get into the website because when she clicks the link I sent, it won’t open. What part of type the d@mn thing in did she not understand????????

Lord help me if I get through this semester, I’m going to spend my summer building an entire lab class online and write VERY detailed access instructions.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2891272
04/02/20 08:30 PM
04/02/20 08:30 PM
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ask her to have her parents help her. i suspect they have done so all her life. there. that's my rant for the day.


M 20+ T25+
S 15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
H moved out 4/24/15
D Final 12/23/16
When God gives you a new beginning don't repeat the same old mistakes. It's 2020, anything could happen; eat dessert first!!!!
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2891278
04/02/20 09:18 PM
04/02/20 09:18 PM
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kml Offline
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On the other hand, this girl might have grown up poor with no computer at home.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2891279
04/02/20 09:19 PM
04/02/20 09:19 PM
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kml Offline
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BTW call a local quilters group to see if anybody there wants the fabric and elastic for masks. I'm sure they'll have someone who needs it.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: bttrfly] #2891281
04/02/20 10:06 PM
04/02/20 10:06 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Originally Posted by bttrfly
ask her to have her parents help her. i suspect they have done so all her life. there. that's my rant for the day.


Yes, sadly, that seems to be the rule rather than the exception. This girl is like this in other classes as well and kind of expects people to do things for her. Her mom is a lawyer and her dad has family money. She’s a nice enough girl, not really rude or anything, but pretty lazy.

And kml, I appreciate your optimism concerning maybe it is a lack of skills on the part of the student because of her station in life. That’s clearly not the case in this example. But, honestly, I see it with a lot of students. Many have a very hard time with deductive reasoning. They need stuff explicitly spelled out. I’m not necessarily blaming anyone per se because my XH and I adamantly disagreed on how to help the girls with their homework. I wanted to guide them let them do it. He basically wanted to do it for them then show them how. I think a lot of parents now fall into that 2nd category, for better or worse. I, on the other hand, learned how to swim when my father picked me up, walked out on the end of the diving board and threw me into the deep end of the pool and told me to swim to my mom in the shallow end. I think a lot of people in my age range would have similar tales where parents today would likely consider that abuse (I did not, for the record. And I learned how to swim.)


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2891282
04/02/20 10:08 PM
04/02/20 10:08 PM
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When you tweak the instructions to be very detailed, you may want to consider that with each written bit of info you show a screenshot step-by-step.

As we move online, my kids’ school district is doing this at the middle school and high school level and it does simplify matters.

Some people are simply visually orientated. Different set of strengths.


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: HaWho] #2891283
04/02/20 10:16 PM
04/02/20 10:16 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Originally Posted by HaWho
When you tweak the instructions to be very detailed, you may want to consider that with each written bit of info you show a screenshot step-by-step.

As we move online, my kids’ school district is doing this at the middle school and high school level and it does simplify matters.

Some people are simply visually orientated. Different set of strengths.


Yes, I have been doing that from the beginning because I’m definitely visually oriented so I thought it would help.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2891291
04/02/20 11:21 PM
04/02/20 11:21 PM
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BTW call a local quilters group to see if anybody there wants the fabric and elastic for masks. I'm sure they'll have someone who needs it.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: kml] #2891296
04/02/20 11:54 PM
04/02/20 11:54 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Originally Posted by kml
BTW call a local quilters group to see if anybody there wants the fabric and elastic for masks. I'm sure they'll have someone who needs it.


Sorry kml, I saw that suggestion earlier and didn’t respond. I contacted a friend who used to be a home ec teacher to see if she knew anyone making them and she is helping the new home ec teacher at her school do them as online demos for the students to do them and donate to area healthcare workers, so we worked out a way to get the materials to her and still be socially distant.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2891339
04/03/20 03:13 PM
04/03/20 03:13 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,365
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AndrewP Online
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Yeah - I support technology - among about 8 other hats that I seem to be wearing these days - but tech is what I've done for about 30 years.

There's a huge divide between those who figure it out and those who have to be spoon fed. And it's funny. It's often the older people who do the best. I have a salesman who is in his mid 70s - still working to support his ex-wives. He is often a first adopter and never asks the same question twice. And he's not shy at all when he needs something laugh Another person I would always quip "so what did you break this time" when she called knowing full well that if she called, that it was really really broken.

Then I have people, including many of our younger people who can't possibly work if an icon that was placed on their screen for them moved.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2891343
04/03/20 03:45 PM
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I get it, Andrew. I know it sounds like I'm bashing young people and I'm really not. I think it is just the nature of the world we live in today and by and large, I do think younger people need things spelled out explicitly because they have been spoon fed a lot. I'm not pointing a finger at anyone in particular in that, because I know I have done it too with my own kids and grandkids, but it is just frustrating when we are trying to do all of this school stuff online and my class is NOT one that lends itself to online instruction very easily to begin with. I am ok with technology, but definitely not an early adopter. I'm also not a late adopter, so there is that. I'm kind of middle of the road, in that I want others to test it out first and make SURE it is good to go, then I'll jump on board. I do think general reasoning and deductive reasoning skills have waned a great bit with this younger generation, but at the same time, they have other skills that far surpass some of mine. I think each generation has its strengths and weaknesses and that we can all learn from each other.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2891376
04/03/20 08:58 PM
04/03/20 08:58 PM
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I think that one key difference is that people "of a certain age" are accustomed to figuring many things out from first principles. If they've been using technology all along then they are accustomed to figuring things out.

Those who are later adopters where many things are assembled out of opaque components that nobody really knows how they work don't have the analytical tool kit to know what to do and where to look when things don't behave as expected.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2892614
04/17/20 05:49 PM
04/17/20 05:49 PM
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Y'all this country girl is NOT surviving well at all. We had a huge storm move through our area Sunday night and we STILL do not have power back. Honestly, that wouldn't be so bad, since our heat, hot water heater and cook stove are all propane powered, so we could still be warm, clean and eat, just without light, but we have to deal with MIL too and she has to have power for her oxygen machine so we are spending a fortune to stay in a hotel and eat out all week while the power company has everyone but about 30 houses back online. I'm about to lose my sh!t in a big way if they don't get something done SOON. I just cannot with any of this anymore.

Despite my extreme crankiness, Sparky and I are doing well and getting along just as good as ever. I try not to lash out at him if I can at all help it because he is still going to work every day, slogging away, and it isn't fair for me to whine and complain when I at least get the luxury of working from home...well technically, working from work ATM just to get out of the d@mn hotel for awhile, but whatever...…………….And, for those who might get on me about being "out" in the real world. Our building is locked down and we have to swipe in and out and at this moment, there are 4 other people in the building with me and they are all on other floors, so I would say we are pretty socially distant. One is in the basement, one in the attic, one on 2nd floor and one on 3rd floor. I'm on the first floor. One did come by my office and talk to me, but he didn't even open my door....stood on the outside and talked to me through the window.

I'm still not impressed with our governor and how he has handled things, but Lord have mercy, I'm ready for something to give. My relationship isn't suffering yet, blessedly, but I don't know how much longer I can be cooped up and not have any ETA on my power being back on without just going all crazy redneck on someone.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2892621
04/17/20 06:49 PM
04/17/20 06:49 PM
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Jeez - insult to injury! CoVID lockdown and now no power!

Maybe you need to get a portable generator for the future if MIL is that oxygen dependent.

Hope your lights come on soon and you can get back to your own nest.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2892659
04/18/20 06:28 AM
04/18/20 06:28 AM
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Dawn I'm so sorry. If it makes you feel better here's a view into my world, at 2:24am:

my son is losing his $h!t at 12:30am because his phone isn't working.. It's now 2am, I'm wide awake and no way able to get back to sleep. We tried everything, including putting his SIM card in my phone so he could contact his boss (we are expecting snow here. yes. snow.) to ask him to text my phone to reach son. Did anyone follow that or is the grammar too convoluted by early morning sleeplessness?

Exh was supposed to send a new phone. I texted asking if that was taken care of. Crickets. From the West Coast. Guess he's asleep, dreaming no doubt of sugarplums and fairies, bless his little MLC darkened heart.

Son is ranting and raving. I get deeply triggered by that as it's reminiscent of exh's constant and miserable monologuing for the last few years of our marriage. Yes. YEARS.

Oh. And THEN what does my eye behold but a freaking TICK crawling on my down comforter!!!!! I was out walking with the dog this afternoon but checked us both when we got home, showered, etc. I can only assume I missed one on him and it jumped from his chair at the end of my bed and onto my bed. Shudder. That lil creepy bbahstid is now circling the drain on the ninth level of Hedouble hockey sticks!!!!!!

So ok, GRATEFUL to be awake to KILL IT KILL IT KILL It BEFORE IT GOT ME!

sorry. I'm a little emotional.

Oh, and prayers answered, my son just came in and apologized for being a jerk to me. It's 2:26am. I hope you get your power restored soon.

I hope I (and son) get our sanity restored shortly thereafter.

One could argue that it's hard to restore something that was minimally there in the first place.

And I cannot stop twitching and looking for additional creepy things.


M 20+ T25+
S 15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
H moved out 4/24/15
D Final 12/23/16
When God gives you a new beginning don't repeat the same old mistakes. It's 2020, anything could happen; eat dessert first!!!!
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2896744
06/03/20 08:01 PM
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Haven’t posted in over a month but have been following along and responding to various posts. Absolutely nothing to report here. Still working from home and will do so through at least the first of August. Not really saving tons of money because I can’t seem to quit shopping online. Ugh!

Our work furloughed us in June but then turned around and unfurloughed us when they “found” money. New fiscal year starts July 1, but there is a lot of talk that we’ll be furloughed again in July to help the university make next year’s budget. I’m still mad that I’m being forced to pay for a financial mess I didn’t create. It is a complete load of malarkey but at least I still have a job.

We will go back to campus this fall, with some concessions for a hybrid online and in person style for classes. It is going to be a challenge.

Other than that, I stay home. Go to town once a week for groceries, hang out with the dogs and Sparky, and generally try not to let cabin fever get the better of me.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2896746
06/03/20 08:10 PM
06/03/20 08:10 PM
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CMM is insisting on going grocery shopping today (he hasn't been anywhere but the chemo clinic since this all began). Apparently my son and I are not capable of picking the "right" fruits and vegetables lol. At least the store he's going to is a health food store where everyone wears masks, aisles are one-way, and the carts are disinfected.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2896747
06/03/20 08:17 PM
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I had been ordering online then just going to pick up, not even getting out of the truck, but the past few weeks I have been actually going in because I don’t like relying on whatever teenager is pulling my order picking my produce. Plus our town farmer’s market opened today and it is small and open air with masks required and only one at a time at each booth. I’ve been wearing a mask, mainly because I’ll be required to wear one when I go back to campus and I have to get used to it now.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2896763
06/03/20 11:31 PM
06/03/20 11:31 PM
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Dawn my darling, I too am an INFJ... and .... it's good to "see" you xoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S 15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
H moved out 4/24/15
D Final 12/23/16
When God gives you a new beginning don't repeat the same old mistakes. It's 2020, anything could happen; eat dessert first!!!!
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899201
07/06/20 03:07 PM
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Apparently I'm going to move to monthly updates now, but since there isn't much going on, I just don't see the need to fill up my thread with nothingness that no one cares to read anyway.

In NEW developments, I got to come back to work on campus today, so YAY for working in the real world again. Online instruction was rough, but with all of the social distance and cleaning requirements, our department has voted that my class will be online again this fall because there is no way for us to accommodate the numbers of students the class normally has in a safe, socially distant way. I honestly won't be surprised if ALL classes go online pretty early in the semester. Our governor has moved us into "reopening" phases too quickly and our numbers have exploded. We were one of the few states that never had a mandated stay at home order and we are paying the price now. We had the highest increase of cases in one day just last week when nearly 1000 people tested positive. And, of course, people are not masking up. Our governor refuses to put a mask order in place and some cities tried to do it and the governor outlawed that saying municipal laws can't be more stringent than state laws. I don't know who slapped his hand over that one, but a week later, he back-tracked and said he was going to leave it up to city mayors to determine if they wanted to implement mask orders in their cities and several of the larger cities did so within hours of his announcement. I have 2 masks with me today because coming back to campus was contingent upon mask wearing. They are phasing all employees back to work between today and August 3, with everyone back full-time by the 3rd, but we have to wear a mask at all times, unless we are in our private office alone. Since there are very few people in my building, I wore mine from the parking lot into my office this morning, then took it off, but I put it on to go to the copy room or anywhere else in the building outside my office.

Other new development, we are furloughed for the entire month of July and can only work 24 hours per week. We are eligible to draw unemployment, but it was such a hassle last time they furloughed us that it took the unemployment office nearly a month to get us paid, so I am not holding out a lot of hope that I will actually see money any time soon from that. It [censored] to have to take a salary reduction to bridge a budget gap that I was in no way responsible for creating but it is what it is. My boss and I had a long conversation about it last week and he assured me that my position is safe and he will fight for me because he is VERY pleased with my work and he can't do his job without me. That is really nice to hear.

Married life is clicking right along and Sparky and I have settled into our old married couple routine. Sparky has a very physically demanding job and he starts his day very early, so in the evening, we eat dinner and go to bed early, watch tv for an hour or so, then he goes to sleep. Sometimes I will read or watch tv or play a game on my phone or something after he falls asleep, but it works for us. We aren't really going anywhere or doing anything this summer, thanks mainly to Corona, but we didn't have any big plans anyway, so it is all good. We've been working on the house, still organizing, getting rid of his grandparents stuff, getting rid of some of my stuff that I thought we'd use but haven't, so Andrew, just for the record, it MAY take longer than a few weeks for you and S to get everything the way y'all want it. I have lived in Sparky's house since November and we are still working on it. LOL

I'm excited to be back at work physically because working from home all the time was starting to drag me down. I was missing human interaction. I still don't get a lot as there aren't a lot of people in my building during the summer, especially since summer classes are still all online and with us being furloughed, everyone is working different schedules, but I already saw one of the maintenance guys and the cleaning lady this morning so I actually go to talk to people face to face that do not live in my house. So, woo hoo for human contact! LOL

With all of that, I need to get back to work. It feels like I have been here for hours already, when in reality, it has only been 3, but I suspect it will be like that for a few days until I get back into a regular work from work routine as opposed to my work from home routine where I could take breaks to pet my dog or watch something on tv or do some housework or whatever.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899221
07/06/20 05:32 PM
07/06/20 05:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Dawn70
We've been working on the house, still organizing, getting rid of his grandparents stuff, getting rid of some of my stuff that I thought we'd use but haven't, so Andrew, just for the record, it MAY take longer than a few weeks for you and S to get everything the way y'all want it. I have lived in Sparky's house since November and we are still working on it. LOL
I try to have realistic goals. Being able to use the garage again by the time it snows is up there.

Glad you are staying safe. It is funny though even for us introverts on how excited we get to just "go anywhere".


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899239
07/06/20 06:38 PM
07/06/20 06:38 PM
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I haven't posted in a month and now here I am, posting twice on the same day. 2020 can absolutely just suck it now. I just read that Charlie Daniels died today. Seriously? First the 'rona took Joe Diffie, who I loved and thought was a fairly underrated musician, but Charlie Daniels is a freaking legend. So many of his songs have absolutely provided the soundtrack for many stages of my life, including my courtship with Sparky and we saw him together twice before we married. While I saw him several times, I never met him and didn't know him personally, but this news shook me today as though he was a member of my family. So very, very sad. I shall go listen to some CDB now...………………………… If 2020 takes George Strait, I'm going to have to have someone pull the earth over and let me get off.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899245
07/06/20 07:20 PM
07/06/20 07:20 PM
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frown
Too many musicians have died this year.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899436
07/08/20 06:00 PM
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I just absolutely CANNOT with people anymore. I'm so sick of all of the divisiveness and back biting and arguing going on amongst people. It is like if I say the sky is blue, SOMEONE is going to argue with me and say it is green just for the sake of arguing. I blame social media. It is easy to go on there and say whatever you want to whoever you want. I keep my social media private and only friend people I actually know (and like) in person, with a few exceptions of DB folks who I like, but don't actually know in person. But, I see it even among my friends. I have a facebook friend from high school who I always considered a friend and a sweet girl and through the years, we have run into each other from time to time as she still lives in the town we went to school in. We always exchange pleasantries and move on. She is on an absolute tirade on facebook about how the virus is a hoax and people who wear masks are sheep. She is not the only one of my acquaintances who is that way and I'm just so seriously over it. Last time I checked, this is a free country, so by all means, if you don't want to wear a mask, don't wear one, but shut the F%$%$#@% up about it and how those that choose to wear one are sheep. If you do choose to wear one, then wear one, but again, by all means, shut the @#%@#$ up about it and how those that choose not to wear one don't care about others. Now, I'm a pretty black and white kind of girl (and no, that is NOT a racist comment), and I'm a scientist, so I know that, FOR ME, wearing a mask is the right choice and I do so because I know how to science. But, regardless of which side of this issue you fall on, it is your choice so just do it and quit griping about the other side. I highly doubt anyone with a differing point of view is going to change the opposing viewpoint, regardless of their stance. I don't want to see or hear anything else about how wearing a mask all day makes you sick from breathing your own carbon dioxide (it doesn't) or how there are many medical issues that prevent tons of people from wearing a mask (there are a few that do make it harder and DOCTORS


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899437
07/08/20 06:11 PM
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See, y'all…………..I'm so on my soapbox that I hit enter because I was typing furiously...………..

Anyway, if you have a legitimately doctor diagnosed issue that prevents you from wearing a face mask, don't wear one and be careful. I won't say then you should stay home because it isn't my place to say that. I'll wear my mask for you and no I'm not a sheep and yes I understand science and no I don't care if your brother's best friend's half-sister's aunt twice removed by marriage died in her sleep because she wore a mask all day. (I mean, I'm sorry the lady died, but don't care how it happened.)

And while I'm at it, why does EVERYTHING have to be political????????????????? Does our president not have better things to do than tweet the NASCAR driver who he thinks should apologize to the world for a public situation? I'll go on record right here and say I didn't vote for him and I won't vote for him in November, but guess what....he's STILL my president because I'm an American and he's the American president so he is, in fact, my president. I never post or comment anything political on facebook because I just can't with people and the fact that they think if their opinion doesn't match someone else's then the differing opinion is automatically wrong. When did we all become such a nation of big crying babies? What happened to conversations, respecting differing opinions, agreeing to disagree and being polite about it? Ugh...………...I'm just OVER it.

I even saw it at work today and it just has me fuming. I did what my boss asked me to do and I made sure I explained why I was doing it. I STILL got push back from some faculty and they went over my boss' head to his boss to say they were "confused" about why I sent what I sent. Well, if you would &^(*&^*(&^*&^ take 30 seconds to actually READ my d@mn email rather than jumping to conclusions and letting your own frustration at the fact that you THINK you are going to get a pay cut at some point in the next school year cloud your judgment, maybe you'd be able to see the forest for the trees. It was a simple question and I got all sorts of push back about why I needed this information and weren't we already told that someone else was doing this for us? Get off your pompous @$$ and just answer my question or I will take care of it myself and you'll get what you get. I could've just done it myself to start with but was trying to be democratic (no, I'm not a "democrap", a "demoncrap", a "libtard", a "snowflake") and let everyone voice their opinion and have the opportunity to say what they actually need rather than me making the call on what they need. Lesson learned, next time, I'll just handle it my d@mn self.

And with that, I'm done. If you read all the way through this ranting crap, go have a beer or 10 on me. You deserve it!


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899441
07/08/20 06:35 PM
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And another thing...……….this coin shortage that we keep hearing about is not some freaking governmental conspiracy to track you, Karen. If the government wants to track you, they have no trouble doing so since you post on your facebook, Instagram, twitter, snapchat 1000 times a day using your iPhone with a tracker on it. Get over yourself. Just because you paid cash for your extra vente half caf mocha choca latte, doesn't mean they don't know you were at that famous coffee goddess place, since you checked in on facebook and took a selfie so all your Karen friends could see the pic. So, there you have it, I'm not racist, I'm not sexist, I'm not a libtard, snowflake or a conservative. But, I am totally a Karen-ist. (with my most sincere apologies to anyone whose name is Karen who is actually not a Karen. I say blame that one on your parents). Now I'm done and I'm over it and I'm going to go and have a beer or 10 on me because I deserve it.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899446
07/08/20 07:05 PM
07/08/20 07:05 PM
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honey .... r u ok????


M 20+ T25+
S 15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
H moved out 4/24/15
D Final 12/23/16
When God gives you a new beginning don't repeat the same old mistakes. It's 2020, anything could happen; eat dessert first!!!!
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899447
07/08/20 07:09 PM
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Lol I had not seen the coin shortage conspiracy theory yet!

I am shocked and saddened at the anti-science crazy denialism online, but even more so by the appalling racism and lack of Christian charity (or any other kind of charity). I broke down crying yesterday watching an interview with the sweet young black man who was attacked in Indiana as he calmly described one guy putting his foot on his neck while they called for a noose. The depth and ugliness of racism in this country and the liberty they have been given to express it in public is the saddest thing I've seen in this country since the 1960's.

Last edited by job; 07/08/20 09:38 PM. Reason: edited for kml
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899462
07/08/20 09:24 PM
07/08/20 09:24 PM
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((Dawn))

There are good, decent and kind people out there. Sadly the crazies are the noisy ones.

Glad you had a good vent. Shame that I'm out of beer.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899468
07/08/20 10:23 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Yes, bttrfly, I’m OK. I just needed to vent because I’m just done with the attitudes. I was so excited to go back to my office to work and I already want to go back to working from home so I can just stay the heck away from people. It is so frustrating.

Kml, the utter lack of and disregard for factual science astounds and saddens me. And I agree on the racism. I wasn’t alive in the 60s but I live in the South so I have heard my share of stories. Of course, Arkansas boasts (as though it is actually something to boast about) having the world headquarters for the KKK. Despicable! I’m proud of my Southern and Arkansas roots but I won’t put down anyone else in the process regardless of their race. It really is a sad time in our country, on many levels.

So, I’m just going to go about my life and stay home as much as possible, wear a mask when I go in public not because I’m “sheeple”, but because I know how science works, and continue to pray for our country, our president, and ALL our people. And Andrew, next time you get beer, have a Molson for me. 😉


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899506
07/09/20 02:57 PM
07/09/20 02:57 PM
Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 516
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wooba Online
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wooba  Online
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I have one friend on Facebook who posts about conspiracy theories and random screenshots of info regarding the pandemic or racism which are false. I have refrained from commenting on his posts and every time I read it I contemplate whether to unfriend him. I have not. His posts are a shocking reminder to me how there are soooo many people who actually believe in that craziness.

It is crazy that everything gets politicized in the US. This is exactly why we need better education. So people can be critical thinkers for themselves.

Vent away! I’m with you!


BD: Sep 2019
H moved out: Oct 2019
3 kids under 12
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899515
07/09/20 04:18 PM
07/09/20 04:18 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,598
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Dawn70  Offline OP
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Thanks, wooba! I don’t usually unfriend people when they post stuff I don’t agree with but Lord have mercy! I try very hard to be a live and let live kind of person and am fully aware that not everyone shares my thoughts/beliefs/opinions. I doubt I can change people’s strong opinions so I just let it go. But again this morning, my FB feed was lined with posts from people I think of as very intelligent talking about “saying no to a cashless society”. Seriously?????? If the government wants to track you, they can do so easily without your d@mn money. I don’t get what people don’t understand about that. So I’m going to stop looking at fb, wear my mask in public, and pay with exact change when I can to help get coins circulated, and I’m NOT going to share stupid memes about being tracked by the government on FB from my iPhone (because NONE of that is traceable certainly...insert HUGE eye roll here).


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899516
07/09/20 04:19 PM
07/09/20 04:19 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,598
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Oh and I will certainly use my debit card because I just don’t give a d@mn if the government knows what I bought at Walmart.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899521
07/09/20 05:38 PM
07/09/20 05:38 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 16,220
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kml Offline
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Maybe I could sell my change jars to those people for twice their value? I've got a couple jars full of coins lol.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899561
07/09/20 11:04 PM
07/09/20 11:04 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,598
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Dawn70  Offline OP
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Lol, kml. I can hook you up with a bunch of whackos who are up in arms about being “forced” to used debit/credit cards. By the way, these same people have social security numbers, jobs where they earn paychecks and pay taxes, own property and vehicles that are taxed and have to be registered, have bank accounts in FDIC banks, but they certainly can’t be tracked by the government unless they fall for this current conspiracy of not using cash. (SMH and GIGANTIC eye roll....)


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899811
07/13/20 07:17 PM
07/13/20 07:17 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,598
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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And so the onslaught of stupidity continues on social media. I just have to step away because I truly just cannot with people any more. I used to love facebook as a way to see old friends' kids and grandkids and share recipes and even buy other people's crap in online yard sales, but alas, the political mudslinging and Covid conspiracy theorists have just run roughshod over the whole thing. I honestly cannot read one more comment from Joe Public, who barely passed 6th grade, about how we need to quit looking at numbers of cases and start looking at numbers of deaths because Arkansas has "only" had 300 deaths. Let's ask the families of those 300 if they are comforted that their loved ones are only in the ranks of 299 other people because I'm betting their answers will NOT be very nice. And, seriously, I can't read one more article about how teachers should quit worrying about schools opening back up because "kids can't get it". First of all, where is the scientific data to support that? Most schools were closed before the pandemic really took off and so, theoretically, to get some actual data, you would need to be able to study large groups of children who had been together, which hasn't happened since early March. And, let's say, for argument's sake that children CAN'T get it. (Lord, please let that be true!) I don't know about any other schools, since my children are all out of school now, but at the school where I work, there are no child instructors...only adults and many older than 50. In my department alone, of the 11 of us, 6 of us are over 50 and 5 of those are over 55 (I'm the "baby" of the old group at 50). 2 of those over 55 are in their 60s and one of the over 55 has severe underlying health issues. So what about that? What about a student walking onto our campus who is asymptomatic and coming into contact with say, the 65 year old in our department? Sure, we can talk odds and how low the percentage of actual contact is, but the reality of the situation is that many people are asymptomatic and those that haven't been tested are out walking around not even knowing that and CAN STILL INFECT PEOPLE.

I have long said that healthcare workers, especially nurses, and teachers are among the most maligned people on this planet and they are the ones who will give their selves and their lives to do their job. I can give you a list longer than my leg (and I'm a tall woman) of teachers who would step in front of a bullet for their kids right now without even thinking twice about it. But, it is ok for Joe Public to bash them and gripe about how they just need to suck it up.

I'm not trying to start a debate here, just venting, so whether you agree or disagree, I will just say, you do you. You are grown and the good Lord did not put me on this earth to try to control other grown folks. You do you, I'll do me and we'll all go on about our "new" normal (that [censored] big @$$, for the record).

In other news, Sparky has been sick and finally went to the doctor and he has diverticulitis. I feel so bad for him because he works in a warehouse that is not climate controlled and it is HOT today. If you have never experienced summer in the South, you do not know heat. I'm sorry, but you just do not. He likes his job, but because he's been sick and missed a few days last week, he was super grouchy this morning as he was getting ready. So, I guess we need to have a discussion when I get home because I just couldn't deal with it this morning. I was supportive and validating, but didn't really have time to get into the heart of the matter. I love Sparky, but when he is sick or worried, he tends to close up and then get mad at me when I try to talk to him but this morning he got mad at me because I didn't try to talk to him. Ugh...……………………………the joys of marriage. LOL

We had a pretty good weekend despite his being sick. We chilled at home, watched movies, cooked together, made some plans for a road trip that we are starting to save for, and watched Hamilton. I totally get what the fuss about it was all about. We both really enjoyed it.

Anyway, back to work. Only having 3 days per week to get 5 days worth of work done is tough. Furlough sux and our HR person can't seem to get her stuff together to get our stuff filed in a timely manner, so we are playing a waiting game and I don't like it when people mess with my money. Ugh...……...


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899813
07/13/20 07:42 PM
07/13/20 07:42 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 16,220
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kml Offline
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I cried at the end of Hamilton. Saw other people posting that they cried and thought "Oh, I won't" because I'm not a crier but sure enough - big tears rolling down my cheeks.

Kids can and do die from Covid, just not at the same frequency as adults - but even at a very low death rate, thousands could die if we just let it sweep through. Teachers are at risk (and almost a third are over 50 apparently). Secretaries, aides and janitors at schools are also at risk. The disruption of opening schools and then sending whole classes home to quarantine just seems ridiculous. Distance learning for another few months until the virus is under control seems most plausible, maybe with a small on campus option or subsidizing small group daycare for families that need to go to work. I don't know how single mothers are doing it. There is no good answer but I know the non-answer that Betsy De Vos gave yesterday on CNN was NOT leadership.

And before people chime in from places like Montana or Alaska that have few cases (and few people lol) - it's fine to open in those places if they have contact tracing well under way. But most of the US is not anywhere near where you need to be to open schools safely. (And Montana may not be safe much longer soon either - I've been texting with my niece there all weekend. Her half brother has been sick with Covid symptoms - his covid test at the hospital was "indeterminate", and rather than repeat the test, they just told him it wasn't Covid! Now his mother who has been caring for him is sick with suspicious symptoms too.Plus I have a nephew there who was apparently exposed at a BBQ to a girl who later tested positive for Covid - so even Billings may be heating up.

It shouldn't be a political thing, or really even a financial thing. If we had done what the other successful countries have done - wear masks, continue lockdowns until the number of cases were down to contact tracing/containment levels - we wouldn't be in this position right now. We will take a much longer, bigger hit financially.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899849
07/14/20 12:20 AM
07/14/20 12:20 AM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,834
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DonH Offline
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I don't know why I bother, (not your personally Dawn, just in general) but... Your first comments are what I initially started to respond to. I heard a statement today that, sad as it is, may help some of us better accept what's going on - even though I'll warn you again, it is sad.

But then you added a few other statements. I know you said you are just venting but let's at least see there are other sides.

- The Journal of Pediatrics, which is the official peer-reviewed publication for the American Academy of Pediatrics, (these are no fly by night, political hacks) concludes that children infrequently transmit Covid-19 to each other or to adults and that many schools, provided they follow appropriate social distancing guidelines and take into account rates of transmission to their community, can and should reopen in the fall.

- The American Heart Association and JAMA, the Journal of the American Medical Association, again both top dogs in healthcare published data that shows there were 87,000 "excess deaths" – that is, more than would have been expected during the two-month period studied – but only two-thirds of the total were attributed to COVID-19. In other words, people are dying from non-covid reasons at higher rates than typical.

- The Washington Post reported on an analysis that suggests that in five hard-hit states and New York City there were 8,300 more deaths from heart problems than would have been typical in March, April and May — an increase of roughly 27 percent over historical averages. In other words, people dying from heart attacks are up by 27%.

Now these are hardly from "Joe Public, who barely passed 6th grade" Do these 8,300 deaths matter? Or because they are not covid deaths, are they not important? If correct, this data shows that these people are dying needlessly because they are unable or too worried to go in and get the healthcare that they otherwise would have. Should this have happened? We may well end up killing more people with our response to covid than actually die from it. Yet no one wants to acknowledge that.

As for schools returning, clearly AAP puts out a very good argument. Adult learners now is a different story. Some teachers may be at risk. Why not accommodate them rather than turn the entire system upside down for a minority of people. Again, you said you didn't want to debate and that's honestly not my intent - my intent is to provide the other side, because clearly someone has to. If the "only 300" that died of covid matter, then so do the "only 8,300" heart attack victims that otherwise should have survived had covid (and our reaction to it) not happened. Coming from much, much higher educated, non political sources, does it matter - or do you just not want to hear the other side from anybody? We have got to start discussing and debating these FACTS and not just looking at one single separate issue at the demise of thousands of others.

Now to what really had me responding before I read the rest, I heard something today that again, while really sad, may be very true and if acceptance is the last step of grief, maybe this will get us all there sooner. America is badly fracturing into two sides. We are not coming together at all - we are splitting apart faster than ever. One side is not going to give into the other no matter what laws or social justice warriors, or anyone tries to say or do. I still think a civil war is coming. I first thought I'd be long dead before it hit, but now I firmly believe it will be here in my lifetime - likely within 10 to 15 years. If you look at these posts that you don't agree with as all just coming from the other side fracturing apart, it might be easier to start to accept. You can't change it or them. The best you can do is accept it and try to live with what is and what cannot be controlled. I said it was sad. I didn't say I even liked it but I didn't like my wife walking out on me either, I thought she was wrong and full of you know what - Still, I just had to accept it and move on. If we are not already, we are going to be two Americas very soon. Heck it sounds like we are already getting a second national anthem. I don't doubt a third and fourth will be on the way. This divide is fracturing more and more everyday and if each side continues to dig in their heals, the split will be permanent with each side continuing to believe that the other side is 100% dead wrong.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899851
07/14/20 01:23 AM
07/14/20 01:23 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 16,220
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kml Offline
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Don - a big part of the problem is the people who think we should open up are the same people who won't wear a mask to slow the spread. Who claim it is an insult to the president to wear a mask. Who think it's a hoax. Who go to parties to deliberately get the virus.

Plus - as to your figure that heart attacks deaths are up 27% - SOME of that is due to lack of care because people aren't seeing their doctors or are afraid to go to the ER, but an equal amount is likely due to undiagnosed Covid which causes inflammation of the endothelial lining of the blood vessels.

The excess death numbers show that the death toll from Covid is actually higher than reported (even accounting for with the ancillary deaths due to lack of care or suicide) but people on your side of the aisle insist on spreading conspiracy theory nonsense about the deaths being over-reported.

A large number of states, mine included, are seeing rapidly increased cases of Covid hence the AAP recommendations are not suitable to in-class instruction in my location or many others (San Diego and LA have decided today to do distance learning only because of the increase in Covid cases locally). Threatening those school districts with loss of federal dollars because they are doing what is best for their communities is ridiculous.

30% of all teachers are in the higher risk age category over 50. How do you think schools can operate in-classroom with 30% of their teachers being "accommodated"? The accommodation is distance learning.

It's not an easy problem to solve. Single mothers and poor parents will have serious child care issues without school to pick up the slack and we should try to solve that. AS I said, places like Alaska and maybe previously Montana (my relatives in Billings report a local outbreak there now) may be good to open schools but most states do not have their numbers down to where they can contact trace outbreaks. Children have been a small proportion of cases so far because they are not going out grocery shopping or to work like their parents, but their numbers will pick up quickly once they are back in school in areas of circulating Covid. And don't forget that death rates aren't the whole story - children may be more likely to survive a hospitalization with Covid but that doesn't mean it isn't a terrible experience.

Also, Google Georgia YMCA summer camp covid outbreak. 18% of staff and kids were infected despite taking precautions and being outdoors. Schools will be breeding grounds for the infection and will spread it into the community. Imagine being the kid with mild Covid who brings it home to infect your parents or grandparents? It's very fortunate that so far, children have had a low death rate but don't underestimate their capacity to spread germs.

You may be in a pocket in the midwest where it isn't spreading like it is here, but don't get complacent. In places where schools do open, every precaution should be taken. Unfortunately PPE is starting to be in short supply in hospitals again so I have no idea where teachers are going to get enough appropriate protective gear for their jobs.

Also how will schools function if every time someone in a class gets covid the whole class has to quarantine for 14 days? It will be so disruptive to switch back and forth from classroom to distance learning.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: DonH] #2899863
07/14/20 04:43 AM
07/14/20 04:43 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,598
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Originally Posted by DonH

- The Journal of Pediatrics, which is the official peer-reviewed publication for the American Academy of Pediatrics, (these are no fly by night, political hacks) concludes that children infrequently transmit Covid-19 to each other or to adults and that many schools, provided they follow appropriate social distancing guidelines and take into account rates of transmission to their community, can and should reopen in the fall.

I’m quite glad to know that children infrequently transmit Covid. I will be the first to admit that I haven’t spent inordinate amounts of time finding legit research. My comments here just venting, not on social media spouting my own opinion as if it were a fact as many others do, were based on my own experiences as a professional educator and I stand by them. If children are, indeed, low risk, as many legit sources have said all along, hallelujah! The kicker to me in your comment, though, is your reference to “appropriate social distancing “. I’ve worked in public k-12 schools and now a public university and know first-hand this will be one of the biggest challenges. Many schools don’t have the space or manpower to provide safe distances. Lord willing, everyone will manage and students, faculty, and staff alike will be safe. In my current situation, I cannot adequately socially distance the number of students I have in the classroom I’m given and due to the nature of the class, it can’t be moved to a larger room, so my class will be online in the fall because that is the only way to follow guidelines. Mind you, this was NOT my decision to be online. I wanted to be face to face with my students, but being safe is more important right now, and since I can’t follow CDC guidelines, online is the safer alternative.
Originally Posted by DonH

- The American Heart Association and JAMA, the Journal of the American Medical Association, again both top dogs in healthcare published data that shows there were 87,000 "excess deaths" – that is, more than would have been expected during the two-month period studied – but only two-thirds of the total were attributed to COVID-19. In other words, people are dying from non-covid reasons at higher rates than typical.

- The Washington Post reported on an analysis that suggests that in five hard-hit states and New York City there were 8,300 more deaths from heart problems than would have been typical in March, April and May — an increase of roughly 27 percent over historical averages. In other words, people dying from heart attacks are up by 27%.

Now these are hardly from "Joe Public, who barely passed 6th grade" Do these 8,300 deaths matter? Or because they are not covid deaths, are they not important? If correct, this data shows that these people are dying needlessly because they are unable or too worried to go in and get the healthcare that they otherwise would have. Should this have happened? We may well end up killing more people with our response to covid than actually die from it. Yet no one wants to acknowledge that.

This is exactly why I said I wasn’t trying to start a debate. You can’t seriously think that I think 8300 deaths for whatever reason is insignificant. The uptick in deaths from non-Covid causes is alarming and tragic and, of course, should not have happened. Of course these deaths are important, just as the 300 Covid deaths in Arkansas are. I’m not sure, honestly, what point you were trying to make here, other than specifically to debate. Death is tragic, regardless of the cause. My point in my vent was that I’m tired of people who are uneducated and spouting random “facts” that they heard from their cousin’s best friend’s half-sister’s ex boyfriend defending people not wearing masks, having big parties, going on vacation, going back to school all while pointing to the “low number/percentage of deaths“ in Arkansas. One death from Covid or 1 death because someone didn’t seek medical care for fear of being exposed to or catching Covid is 1 too many. Our numbers have exploded since things have reopened, but “Joe Public” will wear a mask over his dead body and make it political. It isn’t political! I can’t convince people in that camp to wear a mask and as I said in my original post, I’m going to do me and they can do them. I’m going to wear mine and do my best to stay the h3ll away from them.

Originally Posted by DonH

As for schools returning, clearly AAP puts out a very good argument. Adult learners now is a different story. Some teachers may be at risk. Why not accommodate them rather than turn the entire system upside down for a minority of people. Again, you said you didn't want to debate and that's honestly not my intent - my intent is to provide the other side, because clearly someone has to. If the "only 300" that died of covid matter, then so do the "only 8,300" heart attack victims that otherwise should have survived had covid (and our reaction to it) not happened. Coming from much, much higher educated, non political sources, does it matter - or do you just not want to hear the other side from anybody? We have got to start discussing and debating these FACTS and not just looking at one single separate issue at the demise of thousands of others.

I’m an educated person, Don, so I’m fully aware that there is another side from mine and I respect the right of those who are on it to have those thoughts, beliefs, opinions. I’m all for hearing from the other side. As a scientist, I do look for legit research to show both sides of the story. I simply came here, a somewhat anonymous place, to vent my frustration over the uneducated bull that gets spewed like facts. You’ll notice that, in my original vent post, I did not state any facts. I did not act as if I was offering anything other than my opinion and yes there are opposing opinions. I’m not on social media posting my opinions as fact, which was the other main reason I pointed out I was venting and not trying to start a debate. You have your thoughts and beliefs on all of it, just like I do and despite the fact that we see things differently, I respect that you do. Probably the one thing you wrote that I categorically disagree with is your assertion that we have to start debating these facts. There is no debating facts. They are black and white. Now, should we discuss? Absolutely! But there is no debate when it comes to actual researched facts.

Originally Posted by DonH

One side is not going to give into the other no matter what laws or social justice warriors, or anyone tries to say or do. If you look at these posts that you don't agree with as all just coming from the other side fracturing apart, it might be easier to start to accept. You can't change it or them. The best you can do is accept it and try to live with what is and what cannot be controlled.


Totally agree that neither side will give and I can’t change it/them, which is exactly why I came here to vent. I do try to accept and live with it and make the best decisions I can make for the health and safety of myself and my family. That doesn’t mean that I can’t be frustrated and vent. I’m on team mask but if someone can show me some legitimate scientific research that says masks do more harm than good, I’ll consider changing my stance. I’m on team don’t open schools because I have been in this situation and know first-hand how hard it is going to be to enforce proper CDC guidelines in most schools. Notice I didn’t say all. Some will manage and be fine. Many will last a week or 2 tops before they run out of subs because teachers are being forced to quarantine because of exposure. I HOPE science proves me incorrect on that. I hope schools open and we all slip back into a familiar routine of in-person instruction. Sadly, I don’t believe that is how it will work, but as I said, I HOPE science proves me wrong.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899864
07/14/20 04:46 AM
07/14/20 04:46 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,598
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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To kml’s point about the Georgia summer camp, Arkansas has the very same thing happen here and kids had to be sent home after testing positive. These were elementary aged kids. The camp was mostly outdoor activities and they had changed the number of kids who could attend to follow all CDC guidelines. And yes, I do know for a fact this happened because it happened near me and it was reported on the news.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2899882
07/14/20 01:31 PM
07/14/20 01:31 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,598
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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I read a very interesting article last night. The information wasn't really necessarily anything new. It was something I had heard before and something that has even been discussed on other threads across DB. It was talking about how important it is, when you are apologizing to someone for something, to leave out the word "but". Such a simple concept really. One that makes complete logical sense. While I'm not a huge Dr. Phil fan, I occasionally watch his show and it is something he says all the time. He talks about when you say something then follow it up with "but.....", what you are really saying is "forget everything I just said because everything that comes after "but" is what I really mean". Very powerful. The article explained when you apologize for something then throw a "but" phrase in there, you are justifying your actions/responses/etc. while invalidating those of the person to whom you are apologizing. The article focused on how rephrasing your apology and not using a "but" phrase, while seeming like a minor tweak of semantics, makes a big difference in how the apology is received. Isn't this something, in a round about way, that we talk about a lot on DB when we talk about listening and validating someone's feelings?

Maybe the reason this article spoke to me so loudly last night was because of the disagreement that Sparky and I had yesterday morning before he left for work. When I got home, we talked it out and I apologized without using a "but" phrase. I simply apologized for not being attentive enough to what he was saying and that I was truly sorry for not being there when he was opening up. I didn't follow it up with "but usually you bite my head off when I ask you about things" because that just didn't seem appropriate (though it is true). For his part, Sparky apologized for being short with me and explained (also without using "but") that he had been feeling anxious about returning to work after being sick and was dreading the fact that it was going to be insanely hot when he still wasn't feeling 100%. Interestingly, I didn't see the article until after we'd had our talk, but we both communicated in a way that validated the other person's thoughts while still making our stance clear. It will likely take a lot of thought to keep those "but" phrases out of apologies because I think it is human nature to say something like "I'm sorry I was late, but I got stuck in traffic". I'll have to focus more on leaving "but-ing" out....ha ha ha!

The one plus I have found of being furloughed is that my "work week" flies by. Today is already my Wednesday and tomorrow will be my Friday. I have SO much stuff to do at home so I'm good with that. And, it is going to be extra sweltering hot for the next few days so I'm glad that I can just stay home and work around the house, inside where it is air conditioned, in my shorts and tee shirt and not even go outside except to feed the dogs and make sure they have plenty of fresh water and water my plants on the porch. And, I'll get 2 days to myself since Sparky will be back to work. I love Sparky and we get along famously 99% of the time, but working from home during this pandemic gave me 5 days a week of alone time while he was at work and I'm kind of missing that.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2900350
07/21/20 07:33 PM
07/21/20 07:33 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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I tell you what...…...I'm NOT a fan of pandemic/new normal/Corona life. I am hot, I am tired, I am grouchy, I am p!ssy, I am whiny, and nothing seems to be going right. One of the main reasons our company furloughed us in July is that they knew we'd be eligible for the extra federal unemployment money and they felt like it would take the sting out of the pathetic little bit of money we would receive while furloughed. While the sting of being furloughed because someone above my head screwed up isn't really lessened, regardless of money, the fact that we were eligible to receive the extra money at least allowed me to not get bogged down in depression over wondering how I was going to support my household and my mother-in-law's (along with Sparky's income, of course, which has never changed during all of this). But, now, our HR person, who is spearheading my workplace's efforts with all of the unemployment stuff is just making it into a total clusterf#$@# and we've been furloughed since July 1 and JUST saw our first payment Friday. Which means that of the 5 weeks we are furloughed, we will only get the extra federal money for 2 weeks, at best. What does that translate to? Well, for me, it translates to the fact that my total paycheck for July will be roughly half what it usually is and the only reason it is even half is because of the 2 weeks of the extra federal money. I'm SO angry I could spit nails.

Then today, I had a rough morning dealing with all the new and ridiculous hoops I have to jump through at work thanks to the big wigs funneling money and running our institution into the ground (which I continue to be punished for despite my complete lack of involvement or knowledge but that is a whole other issue), so I decided to go grab lunch off campus. I went to Sonic and sat in my truck with the A/C running, eating my lunch. Because it is Arkansas and it is H.O.T. All of a sudden, as I finish lunch, my truck starts running really rough and then dies. I get it restarted and nurse it about a block and a half to the mechanic I frequent and he looks and says he can't run a complete diagnostic until it cools off but for some reason 2 of the cylinders (it is a 6 cylinder vehicle) are not doing anything and the spark plug is working on all of them so he has to figure out why the 2 that aren't working aren't working. I'm not a mechanic by any stretch of the imagination, but I trust this guy because my dad and my brother both use him and he's always shot me straight and given me good work for a fair and honest price. I don't know what all this equates to, but it sounds like a lot of money to me. Money that I just do not have at the moment thanks to being furloughed. Ugh...………...It is a vicious, vicious cycle and one that I'm sick of being in. A kind older lady overheard my conversation with the mechanic and heard me tell him to keep my truck however long he needs to because I'm furloughed and don't have to come to work the rest of the week. She came over to me and asked if I was furloughed due to Corona. Well, not exactly, but if Corona hadn't happened, the likelihood of the furlough would have been MUCH less, but Corona is not the root cause, so I just politely said "no ma'am" and left it at that. She went on to explain that she was going to offer financial assistance if I was furloughed due to Corona and I thanked her profusely and told her I would manage just fine. But, thank you nice lady, for restoring at least a little of my faith in humanity today.

My faith in humanity has taken quite a hit lately. I posted my issues last week with all the ugliness in the world. Our governor FINALLY mandated facemasks effective yesterday and people have lost their d@mn minds about it. I cannot hear another anti-masker griping about his/her rights being infringed upon and calling those who wear them "sheeple". I cannot hear another masker claim that all who don't wear them are selfish and unChristian. I really just CANNOT. It is like I said before. I'm not anyone's mama, so it isn't my place to go around telling people to wear one or not and to question those who wear one or not. I wear one, as it is my choice. I don't live in fear, I'm not a sheeple, my rights are not infringed on. I wear one simply so that if I happen to have Corona and be asymptomatic, I won't give it to those who get within 6 feet of me. If you choose not to wear one, then don't. You are an adult making your own choice. No gripe here and I won't ask you where yours is. I will just do my best to say 10' or more away from you.

I just really need a win right now. I'm grateful I have Sparky to go through all this with because I would have a really hard time if I didn't have him to lean on. We are just doing our best to survive, pay our bills, wear our masks when we are out and stay home as much as possible. All of this is really making me just want to sell everything I own and disappear to a small island somewhere with no phone, no computer, no internet, no access to anything but pre-recorded movies and music, and a metric ton of books.

Last edited by job; 07/21/20 08:22 PM. Reason: edited a word

Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2900370
07/21/20 11:37 PM
07/21/20 11:37 PM
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Sorry it's wearing on you. (((HUG)))

Hoping you will get a second stimulus check to bail you out (my sons just got them).

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2900382
07/22/20 04:47 AM
07/22/20 04:47 AM
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Ugh...Sorry to hear about all that Dawn. So bizarre to me that people are choosing to see mandated mask wearing as an infringement on their rights as opposed to just a smart choice that one makes to protect both themselves and others from a very damaging and often deadly disease. Having “rights” does not equal “doing whatever the heck I feel like regardless of the potential consequences to others”. Not exactly what our predecessors had in mind when they were fighting for equal rights for all. Anyway...hope things turn around for you soon. (((HUGS)))


Me 51
H 46
B/G Twins 11
SD19
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019
Divorce final - November 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: kml] #2900437
07/22/20 07:32 PM
07/22/20 07:32 PM
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DonH Offline
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Originally Posted by kml
Sorry it's wearing on you.

That should have read: "Sorry the masks are wearing on you."

C'mon, that was pretty good.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2900459
07/22/20 10:25 PM
07/22/20 10:25 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Funny, Don. Thanks for the hugs and positive words. Prayers answered today for sure, as my vehicle issue turned out to be a part that failed. A part that was still under warranty at that, so not only did I NOT have to pay for the part, I also didn’t have to pay for labor, so I went and picked up my truck and didn’t pay a dime. So thankful!

I pretty much kept to myself today and stayed away from social media most of the day and I’m feeling a tad better. Not great, but better. I’m just going to focus on me and mine and try to just love my “neighbors” as best I can. We’ll see how that goes. Lol


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2900479
07/23/20 01:17 PM
07/23/20 01:17 PM
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AndrewP Online
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I've been finding lately that if I just take a deep breath and am patient that everything works out.

Social media does seem to bring out the worst in people or at least show us a side of them that we don't want to see. The relative anonymity which we also have here means that people are speaking perhaps more of their true thoughts rather than what they might want us to hear if they were talking to our faces. And without filters at times. Easy to spout off an outraged comment or repeat something you heard without thinking.

One of my habits that frustrates people is that I will often talk slowly and pause between words. As I say - I like to taste my words before I let them out - I may have to eat them later.

((Dawn)) - keep looking at the positive that's right in front you you.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2900509
07/23/20 04:45 PM
07/23/20 04:45 PM
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Congrats Dawn on the car repair working out! That's awesome!

Sometimes stuff just works out. I have a $1600 dental bill for my youngest son coming up. (No sense in bothering to ask my ex to help with it, I've quit thinking of him as a co-parent to our kids anymore). But I also just settled the last of my mother's estate and my share came to almost exactly that much (thanks mom!). Then my middle son needed a $1400 loan to help him buy a special chair . (I know over $2,000 for a chair sounds outrageous, but he's the one with Ehlers Danlos syndrome and since he works from home doing therapy he has to sit for hours at a time and needs a chair that he can do that in without being in pain or dislocating joints. It's called an Ekornes chair and is highly recommended by others who suffer from the same disorder. he tried one out and said it was instant pain relief.). In the course of paying out mom's money to my siblings I realized that I had a couple thousand of my own savings tucked away in one of the accounts that I had forgotten about. So thankfully these unexpected expenses have been covered and I haven't had to dip further into my retirement accounts to cover them. I may not have any more non-retirement savings but my kids are taken care of and that's what counts. I should be able to slowly build some savings back up now that middle son is almost self-supporting (his practice is filling up nicely and he will be able to take on more clients once he has his chair).

I'm sorry you are experiencing financial strain in the midst of all this as I know so many are and I'm well aware that my financial burdens due to the pandemic, while sizable, are minor compared to what most people are suffering. I hope some more financial good fortune finds you.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2901280
08/03/20 07:32 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Back to work full time on campus today and it has been a Monday for sure. Computer issues have been plaguing me since last week and I think I finally got someone to actually work it out for me today rather than just pass it off. I have meetings scheduled for the coming weeks and have an online training I need to do but was putting off until my computer issues were solved.

Our unemployment saga continues and I'm so frustrated with the HR lady that I really just want to go to her office and smack her. She has repeatedly given us bad information or just straight up lied and I don't do well with people messing with my money. It isn't a good look for her to be doing it either and I can't figure out why more people aren't up in arms about it, but I am really not sure how to approach it. At this point, I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping I get the money I am supposed to get. We shall see...…………………….

I have to go to the doctor's office tomorrow so that she will refill a scrip. I didn't realize until my pharmacy told me she wouldn't refill something that it has been 2 years since I have been. I'm glad, but also now dreading having to go tomorrow because she'll want to do bloodwork and I am a big needlephobe. Ugh. Just trying not to think about it.

Other than that, life is just clicking along. We had tickets to see Def Leppard and ZZ Top in October and the concert was cancelled so we're sad. We didn't do a honeymoon after our wedding but had booked a fancy hotel for the New Year's Day 2021 and now we are worried that might fall through too, but we'll just wait and see I guess. A part of me is glad to be back at work and hope that it is the start of the return to some semblance of normalcy. Another part of me wants to beg and plead for them to let us go back to working from home and just continue to hide out away from people 99% of the time.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2901296
08/03/20 11:04 PM
08/03/20 11:04 PM
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We had tickets to see Def Leppard and ZZ Top in October and the concert was cancelled so we're sad.


I feel ya! I missed out on the Rolling Stones and on Carlos Santana.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2901312
08/04/20 11:32 AM
08/04/20 11:32 AM
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Alice Cooper and Hoodoo Gurus missed here. frown


M 20+ T25+
S 15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
H moved out 4/24/15
D Final 12/23/16
When God gives you a new beginning don't repeat the same old mistakes. It's 2020, anything could happen; eat dessert first!!!!
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902209
08/17/20 07:58 PM
08/17/20 07:58 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Not much new to report. Today is our first day of school. It appears, at least for the most part, that students are doing what they are supposed to be doing. I am not seeing much congregating or groups walking together in hallways. I saw one kid go past my office without a mask on and I was on the phone at the time or I would've stepped out and said something to him. Most of the students who have walked past my office have been wearing their masks correctly. I have actually only noticed one that was below the wearer's nose. So, maybe we can get back to normal...……...we shall see!

Sparky has been sick and off work which kind of [censored] because he works for a small privately owned company so has no sick leave or anything like that so we just lose his income for those days. Fortunately, we have money in the bank, but it still makes me uncomfortable when he has to miss work we miss out on that pay. Maybe someday we will become independently wealthy. LOL The good news, most importantly, though, is that Sparky seems to be feeling much better and hopefully will be able to go back to work later this week. He's getting bored staying at home, but he's been cooking some amazingly fabulous meals which I'm thoroughly enjoying.

Summer is winding down and I have not been swimming at all, which is highly unusual for me. We have a weekend get-away planned weekend after next to go to a cabin near a lake a few hours away and I have already told him I'm getting in the water with him or without him and I don't care either way. Our cabin is secluded in the woods and has a hot tub on the deck, so I figure we'll spend a good bit of time there too.


I guess life is moving on in the new normal for us. I don't like it, but it is what it is. My class starts next week and will be all online and I am SO not a fan. I don't want to teach a class fully online, especially when it is best taught through hands-on experiences. It is frustrating, but this is the reality of the world we live in at the moment. At least I have a job...at least for now. The budget constraints on our university are mighty and I'm just hoping we can have a successful year and start to build back up over the next couple of years.

Lots on my mind and in my heart, but today, I'm just trying to get through the frenzy of first day back stuff and get my class loaded into the online classroom learning management system so that my students are ready to go with it next Monday. Wish me luck!


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902218
08/17/20 10:18 PM
08/17/20 10:18 PM
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kml Offline
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he works for a small privately owned company so has no sick leave or anything like that


Such BS really. I'm a small employer too (I pay 1/2 of 3 salaries - shared employees) and all our employees have reasonable flex time (vacation/and/or/paid sick leave). California is even enlightened enough that it's required that you pay a certain amount of sick leave even to part-time employees - I had a file clerk who worked 16 hours a week and even she accumulated sick days (not many because they're pro-rated, but some.)

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902222
08/17/20 11:59 PM
08/17/20 11:59 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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One of the many ways that Arkansas is different than California, I’m sure. Part-time employees, by and large, are NOT eligible for benefits regardless of who owns the company. My XH worked for a large, well-known discount store that originated in Arkansas and I know they routinely hold people at 38 hours and below so that they don’t have to pay benefits. Some private companies do have insurance and sick leave but the company my husband works for is a small mom and pop operation that just can’t afford it. I get it and it is a long and drawn out story as to why he works there, but for now, that’s what we have to deal with. Hopefully, once this pandemic is past, he can move on to something bigger and better. We shall see.

I got home to the good news that Sparky is cleared to return to work tomorrow so that is a little good news I needed today. Definitely ended my day on a high note!


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902231
08/18/20 03:31 AM
08/18/20 03:31 AM
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If you can't afford to pay your employees at least a few days a year of sick leave you shouldn't be in business.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: kml] #2902236
08/18/20 08:01 AM
08/18/20 08:01 AM
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DonH Offline
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Originally Posted by kml
If you can't afford to pay your employees at least a few days a year of sick leave you shouldn't be in business.

Says who? Are you saying it would be better if Sparky had no employer and no job rather than a job that keeps food on the table but can’t provide a few days of sick pay? Thank God California doesn’t make the rules for the rest of the country. As a small business owner yourself you should know better. There is a reason these requirements don’t kick in for these small businesses- if they did we’d have far fewer small businesses.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902244
08/18/20 12:34 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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That's a beautiful theory, kml, but that isn't how life works, at least not in Arkansas. Maybe it works in other places, but here it doesn't. Like I said, big businesses here don't even offer benefits to part timers, so small mom and pop shops sure aren't going to. And, honestly, while it [censored] for us right now since it is effecting us negatively, I get it. Of course, I wish it were different, but he went in knowing it was that way and he can't expect them to change horses in mid-stream now. It isn't like small business owners don't have the option to do it, but the economy here is different than it is in California and the sad reality is that many just can't afford it, even if they want to be able to do it for their employees. My dad is a small business owner and he has 2 employees. They get NO benefits, but he pays well, so they stay with him. He's had one of them for over 20 years because he pays well and he can, sometimes, allow flexibility in their time to allow them time off with family when needed/wanted. I'm grateful Sparky has a job and glad that, despite his being sick, he can resume his regular duties at his regular pay without any hiccup. It's the reality us "dumb Arkies" live with, but hey, it is what it is. Something tells me, as dumb as much of the rest of the country thinks the South is, that we are NOT the only state and likely not even the only state in the South, who has similar laws/rules/regulations.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902295
08/18/20 08:14 PM
08/18/20 08:14 PM
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DonH, I say that precisely BECAUSE I am a small business owner and I know what it takes. Unless the owners are making less than their employees, basic decency means you should supply your employees with at least a certain amount of paid leave. Employees are not slaves and far too many small business owners prosper by paying their employees poorly. We make sure our employee's salaries keep up with the salaries in our field in this area. Sure, I could make more if I was cheap with my employees but that would be unethical.

And paid leave actually is not very difficult for most small businesses to give. The employer or other employees usually kick in to cover the missing employee so revenue is not terribly affected and you were going to pay that salary anyway. Even if I have to hire a temp to help cover someone who is gone, it's usually a small drop in the bucket versus my overall salary costs anyway. If your business is so close to the bone that you cannot pay your employees decently then your business model is not working - sure, lots of people could have businesses if they could pay workers 50 cents an hour but that would be slavery not a good business model.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902317
08/19/20 01:38 AM
08/19/20 01:38 AM
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Decency? Ethical? Clearly employers have the legal duty to follow the law. If they are doing that and the employee does not feel they are being treated decently or ethically it’s fully within their power to quit and get a different job. Their worth and value is what the market will bare. No one is forcing Sparky to take this job or keep it. I’m guessing the sum total of what he believes he is getting is worth it. If the employer kept losing employees due to what they did not offer, that would bare itself out. While certainly you would hope employers Would be decent and ethical, the law does not require it - nor should it. A job is not a right. Neither are benefits outside of what the law requires. I think it’s great that you go above and beyond for your employees. However that is your choice. You should not put your choices on others. The marketplace will do that. You likely have less turnover and higher loyalty from your employees so you are getting ROI for your sick pay investment. Sparky’s employer may be getting the same loyalty and providing employees with other perks, just in different ways. Paying $.50 or anything below minimum wage is not allowed by law. Not proving sick pay is. Is it night to do? Most certainly. But it’s not required and an individual employers choice. If the market demands it the employer will suffer. If not, it’s what the market will bare. It’s no different than an artificially high minimum wage. If the market demands $15 or more an hour it will play out. If the market it doesn’t support it, it’s time to acquire the skills and value that allows you to demand $15/hour or more. That’s America. Well at least it used to be.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
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Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902321
08/19/20 03:28 AM
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The same arguments were made against the minimum wage, and to keep the minimum wage from rising with inflation. I’m sorry, sometimes people need laws to make them be decent to other human beings.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902348
08/19/20 02:41 PM
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Glad Sparky is feeling better. How are you going to manage not having your own person chef waiting for you though?

I get the stress of having that income drop off. I'm on salary but "manage" people who are paid hourly. When I have to cut back their hours, it hits them right in the pocket-book.

When we were younger we did free-lance work. It was tough. Now work, no money. And because we were free-lance there was no social safety net of unemployment to catch us during the lean times.

I'm sure stories like your's are playing out all around the world right now which is perhaps no consolation. I used to think that the various societies around the world will get through the current troubles unchanged. I'm not so sure any more but don't now what those changes would be.

Hopefully your own work is getting sorted out - been a bit worried about you given the reports that are coming out from schools that have reopened so far.


On BD
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Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: kml] #2902355
08/19/20 04:08 PM
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Originally Posted by kml
The same arguments were made against the minimum wage, and to keep the minimum wage from rising with inflation. I’m sorry, sometimes people need laws to make them be decent to other human beings.

Wow! I guess I at least give you credit for admitting this amounts to trying to legislate morality. I just fundamentally and wholeheartedly disagree. The law should not be about forcing people to do what one group feels is correct or nice. It should be to keep people safe from attack or damage - not to force decency. Decency should come from within and when forced very often has unintended consequences And never ends up working anyway. Artificially raising the minimum wage above what the market will bare Or can sustain often just results in those jobs going away altogether leaving the employee with nothing and back on public assistance. The best way to obtain a living wage is to obtain and offer skills that the market see as valuable and have to pay appropriately for if they want to hire the person - not force people to be overpaid for their lack of skills.

Laws to make people be nice and decent rather than hold up the rule of law. I’ll pass.


DonH
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WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902358
08/19/20 04:49 PM
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Kml and Don, thanks for all of your comments. With all due respect, kml, I think that, like Don, I fundamentally disagree with you. I can't speak for anyone else anywhere else, but I do know how things work in my state and the situation that Sparky is in is far more typical than not. There are many small, family-owned businesses that provide no perks for employees and as I said in a previous post, my own dad is one of those. I'm not privy to the financial interworkings of the business that my husband works for but I am privy to my dad's and I know that he pays his 2 employees well and takes care of them in a number of other small ways, but if they do not come to work because they are sick, then they do not get paid for those days they missed. My dad is generous in giving extra money when he can, based on his business income, but he just doesn't have the wherewithal to provide insurance and sick pay, but that doesn't mean he isn't a decent human being or trying to help his employees as best he can. He must be doing something right because he's had one of his employees for over 20 years.

Sparky works for a small, family-owned business that does welding, sandblasting, painting and other metal fab work. They are busy all the time, but in this economy they just don't have extra to pay for benefits. Again, I don't think it means they aren't decent people, because they are. It just is what it is. Sparky works there for a variety of personal reasons that I won't go into here, but in this particular time and economy, we are thankful he has a job. He would like to move to something different, but the reality of our situation right now is that we are supporting 2 households (ours and his mother's) and he and I both must work in order to make sure we keep the bills paid and the lights on. Once his mom gets her stuff lined out, which she is working on now, we will be in a better position to get Sparky to a different job where he can earn more pay and better benefits. Sparky does not have a college degree, but that doesn't necessarily mean he can't get a good-paying job with benefits. My brother doesn't have a college degree either and has a great job in a supervisory position making VERY good money, so Sparky could move that direction as well, but unfortunately, right now, we are kind of stuck where we are and so we have to live with it. As I think Don pointed out a few posts back, no one forces Sparky to work there and I agree, but the pay is pretty good, particularly for what he does, and despite the lack of benefits, he enjoys his job and the people he works with and there is something to be said for that. He works there, for now, out of necessity, to take care of his mom. If we didn't have the load of her financial obligations on our back, I wouldn't care if he just decided to be a stay at home dog dad because I could support our household easily on my income alone.

I say again, kml, that what you said in your posts is a beautiful theory and I'm glad you are in a position where you can afford to pay part-time employees and others sick pay and insurance and the like. That is awesome that you can do it and what a great thing for them to receive it. Unfortunately, though, that is NOT the same world that we all live in. It would be great if it were, but it isn't and I don't think business owners who can't afford those things should be legislated into doing it. Sparky works where he works mainly by choice, but also because the economy just [censored] right now and it is hard to find a decent job that isn't just a minimum wage job. We will continue to slog along until we can put him in a better position, but it doesn't mean that I can't gripe that he's missing out on pay because he is sick. I do NOT think that it makes his boss someone who is not decent though. It is just the reality of how he runs his business.

Andrew, thank you for your concern. We are 3 days in, students have actually been back for over a week (they moved in the weekend of August 7) and we have had a few incidences that I know of where students have already had to quarantine and be tested, but we have not had a huge outbreak. Classes in person require masks, social distancing and lots of wiping chairs and desks with alcohol wipes and using hand sanitizer both entering and leaving the classroom. My class is fully online, by vote of our department and due to budget constraints, so I don't have a lot of interaction with students, but still have a good bit with faculty since I'm the lab coordinator and some are still doing in person labs. Some of the other faculty are really upset that students aren't social distancing, but what did they expect? I mean, they do in classrooms, because they have to, but once they are outside, of course a bunch of hormonal kids aren't going to stay 6 feet apart. The next couple of weeks will be interesting to say the least. As far as my personal chef, yeah, I'm sad he's going back to work today as that means I will lost all these fancy meals, at least during the week, but he'll still cook on weekends. And occasionally through the week as well. We'll see what happens, but he really likes to cook so he won't stop altogether.

We have a weekend get-away scheduled for the last weekend of this month and I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO ready. A cabin in the woods with a hot tub on the deck. Near the river so if he wants to fish he can just walk a little ways from the cabin. No phones, no work, no worries, just relaxing and sleeping late and playing in the water. Oh how I need this break from reality!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 10 days and counting.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902370
08/19/20 06:28 PM
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Go to wikipedia and look up minimum wage per country and paid leave per country. Almost EVERY first world country has 20 days or more paid leave per year and minimum wages range from $11 to $19. Then ask yourselves why the U.S., one of the wealthiest countries in the world, can't offer our workers the same?

Yes, we had to legislate or strike to get an end to slavery, a 40 hour work week, overtime pay, etc etc. Sometimes legislation is necessary for fairness.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902371
08/19/20 06:28 PM
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Lord have mercy....someone needs to come get their children! Y'all, I'm not a computer specialist nor an IT person, but our campus department is USELESS! We have this "new" online learning system and I have my class set up in it and I spent 2 days last week going through a training on it so I got it. But, I had obviously done something wrong so that when I loaded stuff into my class a few students were having trouble accessing it. I emailed, as I was told to do, and laid out my question along with an explanation of how I put the file on the page. The answer the IT person sent me back was that I had clearly tried to link from a different course and the link wasn't showing up properly. Uh, NO.....I linked directly from my computer just like the instructions told me to do. But, then, I was frustrated and spent a darned hour looking around and finally figured out that I had a setting wrong that would prevent access. I fixed that and bingo bango, students can see now, but seriously, no matter what question I ask, I always give a detailed explanation of how I did something and almost without fail, a response will come back to me telling me to do exactly what I already said I did in my explanation in the first place. Seriously, dudes.....READ YOUR D@MN EMAIL!

On top of that, a company has been in our building since March working on changing our A/C system over to another existing system on campus. Well, they still don't have it right and it is 50 degrees in some of the rooms on the 2nd floor. Of course, everyone comes and complains to me and I keep being told they are "working on it" when there is NO ONE in the building from that company so not really sure how they are working on it.

I'm done...……..I just had to vent for a second. Is it Friday yet, because I'm pretty sure I have already been here for about 212 hours this week. frown


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: kml] #2902387
08/19/20 08:34 PM
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Originally Posted by kml
Go to wikipedia and look up minimum wage per country and paid leave per country. Almost EVERY first world country has 20 days or more paid leave per year and minimum wages range from $11 to $19. Then ask yourselves why the U.S., one of the wealthiest countries in the world, can't offer our workers the same?

Yes, we had to legislate or strike to get an end to slavery, a 40 hour work week, overtime pay, etc etc. Sometimes legislation is necessary for fairness.


I understand and respect your position and I am familiar with what other countries offer and what we don’t because of similar discussions with others. I just don’t happen to agree that legislating decency is the key. Like I said, I’m glad you and other business owners can do it. I hate that my husband works for a business owner who can’t but that is his/our choice for him to continue to work there so I will continue to be supportive but I’ll also continue to b1tch about him missing pay when he is sick. Someday maybe his boss will change policy or Sparky will go to work somewhere else but for now, we do what we have to do. I don’t see a way that some small businesses can even stay in business paying a $15 minimum wage and even if they could, is that enough? I mean, using the logic that it would take at least that to make for a livable wage for workers, can’t we also argue that some areas have much higher cost of living so those areas would need a minimum wage of $20 an hour to have what is considered a livable wage? Where does it end?


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902408
08/20/20 04:19 AM
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Interested in where you get your figures on minimum wage? Australia appears to be around the highest at $15/hour, but most of the European countries are at $9-11. Spain is around $7. Japan is around $7. South Korea around $9. Canada varies by province. USA varies by state ($7.25 to $14). Most countries are well below the USA.


Last edited by job; 08/20/20 01:37 PM. Reason: Removed link to another site not related to DB
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902419
08/20/20 01:36 PM
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Spain and Portugal are the outliers of Western Europe as they are very poor. New Zealand was $19. Most countries comparable to the US (France, Germany etc) were in the 11-16 dollar range. Also remember that’s with healthcare. $7.25 is an embarrassment.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: kml] #2902420
08/20/20 05:07 PM
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Originally Posted by kml
Spain and Portugal are the outliers of Western Europe as they are very poor. New Zealand was $19. Most countries comparable to the US (France, Germany etc) were in the 11-16 dollar range. Also remember that’s with healthcare. $7.25 is an embarrassment.


I don't see the same as you in the link you provided. France and Germany are at $11 USD/hour.

Few people actually make minimum wage in this country. A majority are young, and a huge percentage (80%) are part-time workers. Minimum wage isn't meant to be a livable wage. If you raise minimum wage too much, you'll lose some jobs altogether. Historically, our unemployment rates are low and salaries are much higher than other countries. You don't have to look at statistics to know our economic system works. Just go to other countries. As an airline employee, I get to travel to a lot of countries. Our system gives extrinsic incentives to better oneself. It rewards hard work and personal responsibility. I think we strike the right balance.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902425
08/20/20 08:55 PM
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Minimum wage has declined drastically in this country since I was young if you account for inflation.

Denmark is $16 . Some cantons in Switzerland are $20.

Certainly there's no excuse for our minimum wage to be less than $11 but the original discussion here was about paid time off which all those countries have 20 days or more.

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902457
08/21/20 07:29 PM
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Whew...……………..finally Friday. Cue up the George Jones "It's Finally Friday, I'm free again..." song. Except I don't really have my motor runnin' for a wild weekend like the next line of the song says. I'm actually looking forward to a quiet night at home with my husband and a dinner of lobster rolls that he scored from some online food delivery site. Yummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! His mom's birthday is Monday so he is cooking her steaks tomorrow night for supper and I got the fixings for loaded backed potatoes and salad. Swinging by the bakery on my way home to pick up some fancy cupcakes and we are calling that good for her. Sunday we are having a low country boil for my brother for his birthday (which is Wednesday) and a "surprise" wedding reception for he and his new wife. They kind of eloped (we knew it was happening but they didn't have anyone but my nephews there) but we want to do something to welcome our new sister into the family. They are kind of an odd couple, but my brother is kind of an odd duck so God bless her for dealing with him! I love my brother, in all honesty, but I could NOT live with him.

I'm counting the days until our little weekend get-away to the secluded riverside cabin. I told Sparky last night that I am going to stock us up on beer before we go so we can just hang at the cabin and hot tub all the time. No phones, no distractions, just chillin'. sounds like we'll be living our best life to me.

I have survived the first crazy week back to school and it has been, in some ways, far more normal than I envisioned that it might be. Sadly, the number of cases in Arkansas doesn't seem to be slowing down and the number of deaths is growing at a fairly alarming rate (and no, I'm not discussing it because I'm not going to read any more comments about how it is ONLY a small percentage....tell that to the "small percentage" of people who lost someone because of it then come back and talk to me). Public schools open next week and many had originally offered a virtual option and then the governor said they had to go back onsite. Now a lot of schools are scrambling to come up with plans for phased openings or partial online and partial onsite because the numbers are not going down. It is going to be crazy, but then again, maybe it will be like here and not be as crazy as I had imagined. We shall see...…………………

Life is good. Back to work full time is good. My class is all online this time and starts next week. I'm a little nervous about how it will go, but I won't know until I get in there and get it done. I'm using a new learning management system that is not terribly user friendly, but fortunately I teach several sections of the same class, so once I get my class "built" in one section, I can just import to the other blank sections. That will be nice. And, I can set up the program to grade assignments for me as I go, so that will be nice too.

It is nice to just be back to some semblance of normalcy and to have time with our family this weekend and have our little trip to look forward to next weekend. Life is pretty darn good.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902595
08/24/20 08:02 PM
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I survived the 1st week and have had a productive start to the 2nd week so far. I have been working on getting my office organized since my class is online this semester so I will be in my office a whole lot more than usual. I got boxes emptied and put away in other labs and even threw away some files that have been in my way since I got here and just did some general organizing for a more cohesive flow. I wish I would move my computer easily and I would actually change desks so I'm not sitting so near the door, but that isn't possible. I have 2 desks in my office for some reason, but I use one for my main stuff (computer, phone, most work) and then sit at the other when I am grading papers and such.

2 people who I thought very highly of in my life passed away over the weekend and that makes me sad. But, then we found out this weekend that my oldest daughter is pregnant so we will be grandparents again and that is happy news indeed. Circle of life, I suppose.

Not much to say since I just posted Friday and my life has definitely not gotten infinitely more exciting since then, but I do feel somewhat more normal than I have in awhile, even with my class online and having to wear a mask all the dang time when I'm around people. When I'm in my office alone, I don't have to wear it, so that is good. And, we can't have in person meetings with students so I don't have to put it on, usually, unless I'm running to the bathroom or going to another room or something.

The biggest news is just 4 more sleeps until our weekend getaway and man am I READY! I need this in the worst way.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902599
08/24/20 08:15 PM
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Congratulations on the news of another grandchild Dawn!! Yes...the circle of life...never stops despite everything that this word conjures up to get in the way. Glad to hear you are back at work and it is going okay. Such a strange world we are living in these days. Hope your weekend getaway is everything you hope it will be!!! (((HUGS)))


Me 51
H 46
B/G Twins 11
SD19
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019
Divorce final - November 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902608
08/24/20 09:26 PM
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((Dawn)) - so sorry to hear of the passing of people you care about. I can bet though that you will be in full grandma mode and be pretty awesome at that.


On BD
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T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902669
08/25/20 05:58 PM
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Thanks, Andrew. We are super excited about grandbaby number 6. We have number 5 coming in December (Sparky's oldest daughter is having a little boy) and then this one. I'm firmly on team girl with number 6 because we already have a girl and 3 boys and another boy on the way.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902958
09/01/20 08:17 PM
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Back to life, back to reality. Our weekend away was JUST what we needed and I am SO glad we had the opportunity to do it. We stayed at the cabin most of the time and just hung out in the hot tub, drank beer, wine and bloody marys and watched a few movies on the cabin's giant tv. We slept late, sampled a few local restaurants, and took a nice dip in the local lake. All in all, a very successful get-away. It highlighted for me how well Sparky and I get along because we have a good time in the very simple things. Just chilling in the hot tub talking or watching a movie or driving around to see the local sites and taking pictures. It was all good.

Back to the real world yesterday and it has been fast and furious the past couple of days. We were actually "gifted" with 2 days off last week, thanks to Hurricane Laura (ironically, my sister's name is Laura, so we have had many family jokes about having our own hurricane). The funny thing is that Arkansas is inland, but we were supposed to get super heavy rains and very strong storms as Laura blew up from Louisiana. Blessedly, while we did get some wind and rain Thursday mid-day, we got nowhere near the severity that was predicted and I'm so very grateful. Our cabin get-away was a couple of hours north of where we actually live, so we got a little rainy weather there Saturday afternoon, but we just used that as an excuse for more hot tub time and a nap. Win/win!

I do not like my class being online because students are just so unsure of everything online and it is hard not being able to talk them through stuff. We'll get in a groove eventually. Everyone did well on the first assignment. I only had 2 people who didn't turn anything in and one person who hasn't even bothered to log in to our class website yet, so I'm dropping her today because she hasn't logged in and she isn't responding to my emails.

Sparky and I had an interesting conversation last night and it really got me thinking. He asked me something after I got home and I got frustrated with him because he was doing what I think of as a typical man thing and not actually listening to what I was saying when he asked me where something was and he walked right by it about 4 times. I finally got up and just handed it to him. And, I was kind of short with him when I did it. So, as he walked away, he muttered under his breath, which he has a very annoying habit of doing. When he came back in the room, I addressed it and said I didn't appreciate it when he did that because regardless of what he actually said, it seems like he's mocking me and I don't like that at all because I find it disrespectful. He said that he wasn't mocking me but that he was saying he wasn't stupid because when I talked to him the way that I did and got up and handed him what he was asking me about, it came across as I was trying to make him look stupid. Wow...………………….I knew I had a bit of a tone to my voice because I had a long and very frustrating day of dealing with people and then he was overlooking something that seemed obvious so I guess I did get a tone, but I most certainly wasn't meaning to imply that I thought he was stupid. That led to an even longer conversation about how we get wrapped up in our separate work lives sometimes and don't think about how we are talking to each other. He said he wished sometimes that I talk to him like I talk to my dog. I pointed out that she's my baby and I have had her since she was only 6 months old (she's 14 now), so I know I talk sweet to her. But, I'm not in the habit of talking to people in the same way or the same voice I speak to her in. He pointed out that I do it to his dogs too, calling them "my sweet boys" and such. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm……….I love Sparky and we do talk sweet to each other, but I don't usually "sweet talk" him like I do the dogs. It seems as though, while he has a bit of a gruff exterior, he wants/needs a little sweet talk, so I have to work on that for him. Of course, I want it to be natural and not forced or rehearsed so it might take a bit, but I know I can do it if it will make him feel better. I'm so very grateful that we can communicate the way that we can. It makes our lives SO much easier.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2902965
09/01/20 10:09 PM
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Fellas all want a bit of sweet at home. We are all delicate little flowers too.

Tone of voice and expression are so easy to mis-interpret. My ex-wife would sometimes tease me which was fine - except when she was wearing sun-glasses and I couldn't see her eyes. S has this exasperated thing she does when I repeat myself which I have a tendency to do. I of course am a perfect communicator laugh

And because we have had a lifetime of NOT communicating with our new partners and have all the defense mechanisms and triggers that set us off it can be a bit of a mine-field.

Just remember - if in doubt - show up naked and bring beer. Pretty much all sins are then forgiven.

In the mean-time, think of it in terms of a love-language. Words of affirmation go a long way. A "thanks darlin' I appreciate that" is always a good plan.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: AndrewP] #2902976
09/02/20 01:22 AM
09/02/20 01:22 AM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,834
Midwest
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DonH Offline
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Originally Posted by AndrewP
Fellas all want a bit of sweet at home.

Fair enough. I can agree with this.

Originally Posted by AndrewP
We are all delicate little flowers too.

Ummmmm, no, no..., no we all are not! SMH. smile


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2903005
09/02/20 03:55 PM
09/02/20 03:55 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 16,220
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kml Offline
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Yeah Don - you're really all about 10 years old inside. And ten year old boys are sweet and love their mommies wink

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2903129
09/04/20 06:37 PM
09/04/20 06:37 PM
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Posts: 2,598
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Finally Friday and I do NOT have a sweet cabin in the woods with a hot tub on the deck to look forward to this weekend. I do have some good cooking to look forward to, though, because Sparky has said he is in a cooking mood, so he's going to handle that this weekend. WOO HOO!

It has been a week here and I was off one day for doctor's appointment. I had to go have an ultrasound on my liver....????????? But, the doctor said it is all good and rock on with life, so I guess that was the highlight of my week, other than getting all our bills paid this morning and getting the checkbook balanced. I'm telling you, I'm living on the edge over here, people!

Sparky and I have had a good week personally, but we've both struggled at work this week for various reasons. It is nice to have someone to talk to about things and be able to vent to when I get home so that I don't just keep it all bottled up inside. I'm pretty good at that and I know it isn't healthy.

If we could just get rid of all this 'rona business, life would be pretty good.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2903333
09/08/20 08:31 PM
09/08/20 08:31 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,598
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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I have a secret and I'm so freaking excited that I have to share it somewhere so I'm doing so here in an effort to not spill the beans. My precious, amazing husband has a birthday coming up. He's a good, decent, caring, loving man, but he's not a super overtly romantic guy. He's the guy who will do little things like go wash my truck without me asking or even saying anything about it. Or yesterday, he was off for Labor Day, but I had to work because our campus decided to not give the students any breaks that gave them extra days to go home and come back in an effort to cut down on them bringing the 'rona back to campus, so since he was home all day, he cooked supper so I didn't have to mess with it when I got home. He's a little things/acts of service kind of romantic, not necessarily a flowers and chocolates romantic, though he does occasionally bring me flowers.

Anyway, I have been trying to think of a cool and unique birthday gift for him. This weekend, he was all fired up to cook steamed dumplings in his new bamboo steamer and he was all excited because he had looked up some recipes by Jet Tila, a Food Network chef that he really likes. He commented on some of them online, posted pics and Jet Tila commented back. He was over the moon about it. So, I was going to order him a cookbook. Well, not only can you buy a personally autographed cookbook, but you can purchase virtual video chats with Jet to get cooking advice. So, I signed him up for one. Granted it is only 10 minutes because that was all I could really afford, but still, for 10 minutes, my husband gets to video chat with Jet Tila, someone he really looks up to. I can't WAIT to see his face when that zoom happens. I have received emails today from "Jet" to get it set up though I suspect that it may actually be some assistant who handles this stuff and just signs Jet's name to it, but whatever. Sparky is going to absolutely die!

Oh and those steamed dumplings....y'all………………..I'm a fat girl and I like to eat, but these were OUT OF THIS WORLD. He's so good to me.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2903339
09/08/20 10:14 PM
09/08/20 10:14 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,661
Southern Maryland
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Southern Maryland
He will love the surprise and love you for arranging this. I can't wait to hear how it goes.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2903345
09/08/20 11:26 PM
09/08/20 11:26 PM
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Ginger1 Online
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That’s one helluva awesome gift! He’s going to love it!

I’ve been drooling over his cooking, BTW

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2903346
09/08/20 11:59 PM
09/08/20 11:59 PM
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kml Offline
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What a great idea!

Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2903367
09/09/20 12:13 PM
09/09/20 12:13 PM
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Posts: 3,365
Canada
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AndrewP Online
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It's very cool how in this modern age that there can be a direct connection between the audience and the performer. I've had contact via social media with some people whose work I admire as well and it certainly made me feel good.

I'm glad you're making a fuss over him. As a guy though - make sure it's not too much of a surprise as I'm sure he'll want to be sure to be "on game" for his big moment. He'll probably want to have some specific questions on technique or ingredients ready. Perhaps how to use an ingredient he likes in a new way.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2903369
09/09/20 12:29 PM
09/09/20 12:29 PM
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Massachusetts
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you are the best. wife. ever.


M 20+ T25+
S 15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
H moved out 4/24/15
D Final 12/23/16
When God gives you a new beginning don't repeat the same old mistakes. It's 2020, anything could happen; eat dessert first!!!!
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2903371
09/09/20 12:54 PM
09/09/20 12:54 PM
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Posts: 2,598
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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I was SO excited that I just happened to think of looking for the cookbook and found the virtual meetings. Sparky is going to be so, so surprised and excited. And, G, his food is AMAZING. I'm so blessed. My XH liked to cook too, but he was just a cook and he was not a terribly adventurous one because he was a super picky eater. Sparky, however, is an aspiring chef. Those of you who know, know there is a big difference between a cook and a chef. And, Sparky is a VERY adventurous eater, way more so than I, so he will try just about anything. In addition to cooking for me, he's been making all sorts of sauerkraut, pickled eggs, pickled okra and the like. It is nice to have someone really put that much effort into something.

As I said in my post, Sparky is not a wine and roses romantic, but he is all about the little things that some might not even notice, so cooking is one way he expresses his love. Like the fried rice he made...I don't like English peas or cooked carrots, so he left those out of his fried rice and used mushrooms and shallots instead, which are ingredients that I do like. Now, don't get me wrong, it was GOOD fried rice and I would've totally eaten it with the peas and carrots, I just would've eaten around those, but he wanted to make sure I liked it so he left out stuff he knew I didn't like. The little things...…………………;)

To your point, Andrew, I plan to tell him a few days ahead of time. In my email exchanges with "Jet" yesterday, I asked if he would mind doing a Sunday because Sparky's birthday is the 27th and I wanted to do it on the actual day if at all possible. He said he was pretty open right now and I could pick a time and set it up and he'd join in the zoom. He also said, since I had mentioned I was surprising my husband for his birthday, that he'd reach out to me a few days before and we could come up with a plan. So nice, even if it is just one of his assistants chatting with me as if they are him....who knows? Anyway, the other surprise I have for him that is a poorly hidden surprise is that I ordered him a special meal for his birthday. Sparky is a big foodie and we watch all sorts of cooking shows and such on Food Network and the Cooking Channel. He did some research online and found that you could order directly from Katz' Deli in NY (which we've seen on numerous shows) and have it shipped nationwide, so I ordered him a birthday box, which is their famous meats and bread, that is arriving the Friday before his birthday. He mentioned it and I told him I'd check on it, so he is likely kind of expecting that. Anyway, on Friday before his b-day, I plan to serve him his Katz food for supper, along with a homemade birthday cake and then give him a certificate telling him about his video chat. That will give him a couple of days to get in the zone about it and actually think about what he might want to discuss. I had wanted to surprise him and get the zoom open and just hand him my phone with Jet Tila on there, but then thought he might not get as much out of that because 10 minutes really isn't all that long. So, I want him to be prepared ahead of time. But, I don't want to tell him too early. Then the one actual gift he won't know about....on the morning of his birthday, I'll give him the autographed cookbook. He can have a real, surprise gift on his birthday and have time to actually look over it in case he wants to discuss that with Jet Tila.

As far as making a fuss, Andrew, that is really kind of more about who I am than who he is. When I was growing up, my mom always made a fuss about our birthdays, holidays, special achievements at school. When my XH and I got married, I did the same with him and the girls and the girls in particular had never had that because their mom is the exact opposite. I see how it impacted them because they do the same thing now and I like to think that I influenced that in them in some way. Funny that you mention it, though, because we just had this big talk Sunday night because he'd been feeling kind of down but he was keeping it bottled up and I was kind of pressing him to talk and he finally did, but he said he doesn't like to because it makes him feel like a loser. I said but that is what I'm here for...to listen and to help you see that you are NOT a loser. He told me that I am an amazing wife and that I take better care of him than anyone in his whole life ever had, including his grandmother, who was the one person in his life who always spoiled him a little. (He and his mom have a decent relationship, but she was not a sweet, touchy/feely mom, but more of a cold, strict disciplinarian.) It is important to me that he feels special because he IS, even if he doesn't see it or feel it.

So, yeah, I'm super excited about this whole thing. 2020 started out with a bang with our wedding and he and my family planned a great 50th birthday party for me (which I very much appreciated) and I just want to give him a special day as well. He deserves it.


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: A country boy (and girl) can survive [Re: Dawn70] #2903434
09/09/20 08:34 PM
09/09/20 08:34 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,598
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Got Sparky's zoom meeting with Jet Tila all set up. WOO HOO! Lord, but he is going to be over the moon excited and I have to say it is going to be difficult for me to keep this one under my hat for another 3 weeks. I was afraid if I didn't try to get it set up pretty soon, timing would be an issue as I wanted to do it on or as near to his birthday as we could. Now I just have to keep my mouth shut...………………………………...


New Thread:

Bluebird

Last edited by job; 09/14/20 09:32 PM. Reason: added link to new thread

Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
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