Every Day I'm Shufflin'

[AndrewP]

Hey doodler. If you're bored you may want to emulate a friend of mine. He's currently sailing from Panama City to Puerto Montt, Chile ,via the Galápagos Islands on Virtual Regatta.

Haven't gone stir crazy here as of yet but it's only Day 2. S25 continues to be able to go in to work. The warehouse he's in has very strict hygiene requirements already and so he'll undoubtedly be fine. S's D19 called her Mom last night very concerned about the single parents and "old people" at the auto parts plant where she works. She also said that she's going to avoid me - 'cuz I'm old people too I suppose The employer is pushing people to put in extra hours and is only giving lip service to isolation and hygiene issues. Her BF who works at Tim Hortons (coffee shop) has been officially laid off.

For us, we seem to have very inconsistent policies at our different sites. I'm planning on working from home and limiting my trips in to "town". I do expect the small grocery store across the street to stay open although many other main street businesses are now closed. I was pleased that most of our local chain grocery stores have adjusted their hours so that the first couple of hours are restricted to the more at risk customers.

I'm not sure what the plans are for S and her S13 who currently are here. He brought his video game console yesterday so he is perhaps now fully moved in (?) :P S17 is doing ok at the apartment looking after the critters and enjoying the peace with his brother not there. He works at a grocery store and has been getting a bunch of extra hours. We all are well provisioned at least for now. S made up a nice lasagna for dinner last night.

A friend of mine is in central Florida right now and hoping to come home today. Hopefully she'll be able to make it. She's older and has a lot of health issues but says that she's symptom free.

Let's all stay safe out there.

[AndrewP]

Day 3. Going mad. Listening to a podcast on the science of dog flatulence. All the rest of the house is abed including the dog. Personal hygiene is being kept current. The cats have taken possession of the dog bed so the dog is currently on mine.

S and S13 are staying for the week it seems. I loaned her my debit card and many groceries, some of which are unfamiliar to me, have been procured. It's weird having someone else cook. Linguine with alfredo sauce and chicken for dinner last night. Something that has never been prepared in this house before. It was tasty.

S is a bit stressed about finding room for all her "stuff" with 20S's stuff here. I moved some of it to the unused but enclosed back porch and sent a picture to 20S who - ahem - is not amused. But generally polite about it. S did bring the bulk of her Christmas decor and I found space in the furnace room for it. Some kitchen stuff has also been brought but not exhumed as of yet. S and S13 have been stripping wallpaper in the front bedroom that he's camped out in making good progress - up to a certain vertical. I'll have to do the ceiling, anything higher than 5' off the floor and anything that requires moving furniture.

She'll be going back to her apartment for the weekend to give me the pre-planned "break". I was honest when she asked and yes - much cleaning and a certain amount of beer drinking is planned. S is highly allergic to alcohol and some of the cleaning chemicals I have in stock also cause a reaction.

S's D25 and family are moving back to this area this week - earlier than originally planned.

Work is crazy busy trying to change procedures to accommodate social distancing and home work by many staff.

The circle of people that I have on social media seem to be focused on supporting each other and encouraging safe practices. A bit of shaming has been going on about people who have hoarded or who are ignoring the recommended precautions of no travel etc. S and I have a get-away planned for April 9th to the same local inn that we went to back in November. Hopefully it will still be on. We were going to talk to them about wedding planning as well.

One of the things that bothers me most about all of this is the uncertainty of how this will impact me as an individual, friends and family and the communities around me. How long until we find a "normal" again? Nobody knows. The impact on individuals will be profound. Many organizations and institutions are stepping up from local businesses to large banks to support the community and the recommended precautions. I am pleased that the world in general does indeed have a generous heart and believes in science.

I'm grateful that S is here to support me emotionally and to the limited degree that I need it, practically.

Well - time to focus on work. The podcast has shifted to a discussion of breast shape preferences among plastic surgeons. Who writes this stuff? Oh - these are peer reviewed scientific papers.

[job]

I'm proud of Liz and Amy taking control over their housing situation and taking the dog's bed. LOL! However, if S is having trouble w/her back, how is she assisting in removing the wall paper? How is she managing picking up grocery bags?

S20 needs to come get the rest of her stuff, but now w/the health crisis, she may very well not be around for quite some time.

Andrew, I would seriously rethink that April 9th trip and reschedule it for much later in the month, if not May. This virus is going to be around for quite some time and you do not want to get it, nor should S or any other people that you both come in contact with.

Please take care and stay safe.

[Dawn70]

I think you are going to have to practice some tough love with 20S. She’s not going to willing come get the stuff and for her to be perturbed about what you did with her stuff in YOUR house is asinine.

I agree with job, think about postponing your trip. It sounds like y’all have plenty going on with all the moving, redecorating stuff going in and you can do that while practicing self quarantine and social distancing. Take care of yourself and your little family.

[AndrewP]

Thanks all. Playing it by ear here. I went "in to town" at lunch to pick up a couple of essentials (construction adhesive). I was pleased to see the staff at the hardware store all wearing plastic gloves. At WalMart not quite so. My next door neighbour who is an older lady who checked me out didn't look like she's feeling well. I used my bottle of hand sanitizer at the car. I have a stash of such things it seems from years ago when they were handed out when we would take D27 and S25 on university open houses. Never threw them out. I also found a couple of bottles of isopopyl alcohol that my ex-wife must have overlooked when she stripped the house.

I'm proud of Liz and Amy taking control over their housing situation and taking the dog's bed. LOL! However, if S is having trouble w/her back, how is she assisting in removing the wall paper? How is she managing picking up grocery bags?

S20 needs to come get the rest of her stuff, but now w/the health crisis, she may very well not be around for quite some time.

Andrew, I would seriously rethink that April 9th trip and reschedule it for much later in the month, if not May. This virus is going to be around for quite some time and you do not want to get it, nor should S or any other people that you both come in contact with.

Please take care and stay safe.

The "girls" have made it clear who is in charge. Annoying in some ways as they'll do dominance things like standing in a doorway to trap Nara on one side. Generally we are to the point of no "active" conflict which is good.

S gets spasms in her back muscles. Relics of a few bad car accidents a couple of decades ago. She has some limited mobility bending far down and can't manage heavy weights. When her back goes "out" then she can't move much at all. She's been doing better since her last episode in February and has over the course of many years as a single Mom figured out ways to get things done. She has a variety of meds that she takes to keep her functional. She has some exercises she wants to start soon to strengthen her core muscles.

20S is pretty motivated but yes - living with her grandma, her own uncertain housing means that it's going to be a while. I'll keep some pressure on her though.

S25 came down to get ready for his shift and looked like crap. After hunting around for a working thermometer his temp is while slightly high isn't too high. He has a cough and congestion and said that one of the guy he works with had a cold. He's called in sick. Hopefully it's just an everyday cold but it does look like I'll still be taking extra care and have just confirmed with the plant that I'll be staying home until after my vacation.

The get-away is still about 3 weeks away and is at an isolated inn without crowds. I do agree that this is probably something that we'll be dealing with for quite a while. We'll be prudent.

[Dawn70]

Our governor mandated all schools closed until April 20 yesterday, so I would imagine other areas will be doing similar. Not that I think Arkansas is a shining example by any means, but I just figure states are watching each other and trying to work together to be at least somewhat uniform in how they are handling things. You may not get to decide on your vacation...it may decided for you. Originally our gov had closed all schools until March 30 (Monday after spring break) and our university president had already told us we were out until April 13, but as of yesterday, all public schools and universities are closed til April 20 and all restaurants are closed except for drive through, curb side pick up. You cannot go inside any restaurant anywhere. Of course, Sparky and I live out in the country and we are not driving to town just to eat, so not a problem for us.

[AndrewP]

Day 4? 5? 38? I'm starting to lose track. I actually forgot my blood pressure meds for a full day because of the shake-up in my schedule and routine.

If our get-away gets canceled / postponed then it's no big whoop so I'm not stressing about it. I think there's a $50 deposit which is fine. We were hoping to do some wedding planning with the staff there, but we can do that remotely.

S's D25 is concerned about her own wedding in June. I hope to heavens that this is all behind us by then, but given the timeline in China and the looser social structure here perhaps not. We'll manage.

Crazy busy and crazy crazy with work right now. So many of our staff just aren't "getting it" that they need to stay home if they can. They all feel that they are indispensable and their procedures unchangeable. This morning there were a dozen emails, escalated up to the company president about one clerk's belief that she absolutely had to put an "X" on a copy of a bill of lading in person and hand it to the guys in the plant. The argument is still continuing I believe with the guys in the plant saying "we're fine without that".

One email exchange escalated to ALL CAPS and I had to get the people together on a conference call (one was still wearing pajamas at 11:30 - but who am I to judge) where in 90 seconds we sorted it out and everyone was smiling at the end.

Serious things to figure out. We have parts for our new generator due in from Italy and China. Engineering staff are going to stage their various tests and suchlike so that they aren't on site at the same time. AND we still have day to day operations to go through.

Le sigh. Meanwhile I'm getting calls from sales reps and one I believe actual scammer trying to get my time. I'm being polite but man-o-man can I use a break.

It was very very weird last night. S made us dinner for S13 and I - invited S25 who wasn't interested. A nice well-balanced meal with healthy choices. I did up the dishes later but then still had available time to do a bit in the workshop and then sit with S and read my book (EE Smith's Masters of Space). I could get used to this. I'm not sure if she's going back to the apartment today or tomorrow morning. I could use some alone time too and she's agreed albeit I think reluctantly. It's all been a bit much in some ways. I have a feeling that she and S13 will be back in for all of next week too and perhaps this will be their base with S17 still uncertain on when he'll be starting to spend more time here. I'm planning on making a pie on Sunday (non-gluten free crust) and having wine with dinner so just S25 and I for that is the plan. S25 still hasn't figured out how to cancel the "wine of the month" plan that he signed up for as a gift for me for Christmas 2018 and the bottles are piling up in his room.

S25 seemed to be feeling much better by the end of the day. He took it easy and napped with "the girls" for much of the day which all thought was good.

I've been spending too much time listening to the news and following on social media. Far far far too many people aren't taking this seriously enough in my opinion. It's great though how many younger people "are". I will have to do some grocery shopping this weekend and while it may look odd, will probably wear some latex gloves that I have down in the workshop and get in and out with that and my flowers if the shop is open. I'll skip the bank as everyone is preferring that we not use cash right now.

Well - I have another conference call at 1:00 and have to prep.

In the immortal words of Sergeant Phil Esterhaus - "Let's be careful out there".

[AndrewP]

Taking a break from housework to muse.

S went back to her apartment late yesterday afternoon. I drank some beer, did a few loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, watched a movie (Darkest Hour) while doing so. S is undoubtedly still bothered by the fact that on Friday nights, looking from the outside, that I stay up late and watch a movie. Something she would like me to do with her. I think though that she's "getting it" that the reason I have been staying up late on Friday nights has been to get stuff done and that the movie watching is just co-incidental as it fills the time while the laundry goes. I used to do those loads on Saturdays but needed to make time on Saturdays for "her".

Still have at least 2 more loads of laundry to do today. Since I only traveled one day last week, I'm trying to decide if it's worth it to iron that one shirt. The current plan is to stay "home" essentially through to Easter. I have a large ham roast in the freezer and am planning on hosting Easter dinner here. One small duck wouldn't do the estimated 10 people that would be coming assuming that S25 "and" all of S's crew show up. It's been a very long time since that many have been here which would have been when we last hosted Christmas for my ex-wife's family and they actually showed up.

I did go in to "town" to pick up my roses, go to the butcher and grocery store. I also filled up the car and since it was cheap and to support a local business, also went through the car wash. My wee blue car (still nameless) is now shiny again.

FSL has sadly been laid off from the flower shop and the owner is running it on her own. Her S(8?) is home and there's no day-care so she would have had difficulty working anyway. The grocery store and even the liquor store were pretty empty. Lots of toilet paper available though I still don't understand that. I expect that in a week or so that stores will be stocked up again. Lots of people are out of work and many of the shops in my little village are closed. The convenience store and presumably the one in the next village over where my ex works are operating under reduced hours. They also have toilet paper. I was slightly annoyed but found it perfectly reasonable when the teller at the grocery store told me that I could only have 2 of an item that I picked 3 up of. Business are stepping up. Many clerks are wearing gloves and sanitizing those. They are also wiping down counters and debit terminals after each customer. Still - many many tales of people not taking this seriously. Most of those who aren't or who are suspected of hoarding are being subjected to public shaming. Sad in some ways, but hopefully an effective measure.

I had a talk with S25 last night about changes that I will be making to my powers of attorney and will. Essentially S would get the house and one of my three insurance policies. The powers of attorney will be changed from my 2 brothers to S and my youngest brother. S25 seemed quite comfortable with those changes. I do need to contact my lawyer within the next month to get the ball rolling on the pre-nup. S has I believe all of her numbers needed as she had to look them up for her divorce. I need to call D27 sometime in the next few days to have a "visit" and catch up and to let her know what my thoughts are and get her opinion. It's weird in some ways. S has a very different attitude than I do about some things especially around the kids's opinions. She was I think rather put out when I told her that if either of my kids objected to me dating her and could explain why that I wouldn't have dated her. I can't help but think that perhaps some of her past poor choices might not have been made if she listened to her own kids. They certainly have a poor opinion of her STBX and from what I gather had that opinion from the beginning. And they were right. Each family I suppose is different and as a single Mom perhaps she found it more effective to go with the "one Mom, one vote" system.

Ah well. Time to stop lolly-gagging and get to the cleaning. I also need to re-arrange the freezer and get one of the small pork loin roasts out for Sunday. Dinner will include garlic bread, rhubarb pie and wine as it will be just S25 and I. I may get in to trouble from S as she had said that she might use the rhubarb but it's been a few weeks since she said that, nothing's happened, the new rhubarb should be popping up soon AND most importantly I want to make a pie.

[AndrewP]

Day 6. My cat Amy is laying on the desk next to me in the sunshine. I think she likes having "Grandpa" home all the time. S25 is feeling much better. He's annoyed at missing 2 days of pay I'm sure.

I'm finding myself getting far too obsessed with the news cycle. Although I generally avoid politics here I am a keen follower. I'm pleased with how our political leaders here in Canada seem to be dealing with things. Generally in a calm, rational fashion and with the known facts given. The recent program to repatriate Canadians who have been stranded overseas is being done with an upfront comment that some people just won't make it back home. I am worried about the US. Every time I hear the US president talk, he strikes me as more and more becoming an confused old man who is overwhelmed by the events that have overtaken him. I hope that I'm wrong and that the various agencies etc will do their best to keep people safe and more importantly that people work hard on keeping themselves and their neighbours safe. This applies to the entire planet of course. We as individuals need to take ownership of each doing our part to keep ourselves and those around us safe in this time unlike any that has been faced since perhaps 1918 when the world was much bigger and moved much more slowly.

I've been thinking of people like S and others who take part in the "shadow economy" and also the homeless. In my rural area there are a lot of people who do casual work, in many cases "off book". Even here too, there are homeless. Generally few people sleep rough but are in precarious and temporary housing. The cracks in our social safety net will become much more obvious these days as many of the programs being made available just don't apply to these people who perhaps need it most. I've read on other forums where people are now stuck inside with a cheating or abusive spouse. I wish that I had a "make it all better" stick and could just make it all go away. I don't. I support a number of charities already including the Salvation Army. I may increase my support in the short term and target it more. My costs are certainly way down with the car spending most of it's time in the garage.

I am very fortunate that I can work from home and be nearly as effective as I would be on site. I have few worries about the stability of the family owned company I work for or my own job security which has improved in recent months.

But I'm still scared and worried. I couldn't sleep well last night and responded to a message that S had sent me after I went to bed. That got me a query asking why I was "up". I responded with the typical reason why a middle-aged guy gets up in the night. S didn't sleep at all the night before last she said. I hope she got some sleep last night. I ended up getting a fairly decent sleep eventually but expect that this may become more common.

I am worried about some of the people I care about but who I've lost touch with. B., my ex-wife, FSL for example. A lot of people have underlying health conditions like B. I am still in touch with CL who is going stir crazy with her kids. A lot of rather elaborate baking is going on there and she has discovered something called unicorn spit that makes her martini sparkly.

I'm figuring that this will be a while. My own plan is to stay pretty isolated until Easter which is pretty much apropos. My get-away may or may not happen. Certainly no crowds at that inn. Limiting my shopping.

Well - time to face this particular day. And then the next one. I'll put a small pork roast in for S25 and I for dinner tonight. The plan is for that, garlic bread, potatoes and rhubarb pie.

Stay safe all.

[AndrewP]

Just finished Sunday Supper with S25. The pie was a bit damp but still tasty but everything else turned out - in my rather biased opinion - rather well.

It just struck me though and I wanted to capture it here - how Absent his mother was. This is the woman that gave birth to him, nursed him, cared for him for at least 18 years of his life, who was far closer to him than I ever was. I am very much a Single Dad.

We are going through some rather difficult times to say the least. She lives as of last report about 10 minutes away. I really can't comprehend how she's not working hard to be an active part of his life right now. Perhaps there is some contact that I'm not privy to.

My mind just boggles. I'll continue to hold everything together. I checked on D27 today and she's doing ok in San Diego and following the Navy's guidelines about social distancing. She is undoubtedly scared too. This is where I really really could use the other parent. S isn't that person. She's not "Mom" here any more than I'm Dad for her kids. Although in some ways at least for S13 I seem to be filling that role.

It's been so long and so much water has passed that I know that my ex just "isn't there" even for her own children.

I really really just don't understand and probably never will.

Just venting and wishing that the world was different than it actually is.

Time for several loads of dishes.