Time to file? (Thanks BenB - part 2)

[Mumin]

Thanks for Reply AS!
I agree. If she does it like IN MY FACE then I will have to say something.

Got some negative feedback at work today and started crying, a lot.
Lots of feelings coming out. Which is good.

Still very much considering D..
Whats your guys take on my IC saying to go for D?
He didnt expressivley say it but asked what was holding me back and I didnt really have good answers.

[unchien]

Mumin ~

Just jumping into your thread.

Please heed Vapo's advice re: your paycheck. If you haven't already, go discreetly consult a L to know your rights. Neither of those steps prevent you from DB'ing and continuing to be the lighthouse.

It sounds to me like your IC was not advising you to go for D. He was suggesting you explore what is stopping you from D. Any ideas?

[ovrrnbw]

I think a lot of counselors are fine when you need to bend someone's ear but maybe not the best people to be taking advice from.

Mumin, it comes down to your philosophy on marriage...

[Mumin]

Thanks Ovr and nice to see you here unchien!

He was suggesting you explore what is stopping you from D. Any ideas?

Mostly DB is stopping me from D.
Also family.

Mumin, it comes down to your philosophy on marriage...

For me its about family. You can replace the word marriage with family.

Journal
NO contact at all in days.
Enjoying life with the kids and some friends. Been a good couple days.
My next move, apart from continue to DB, is to talk to her about WHERE she thinks she will want to live.
Any points here?

[Mumin]

My next move, apart from continue to DB, is to talk to her about WHERE she thinks she will want to live.
Any points here?

Ping

[LH19]

M,

I think you have 2 options.

1. File for divorce
2. Sit tight GAL, Detach and work on yourself

Anything else is manipulation

[ovrrnbw]

My next move, apart from continue to DB, is to talk to her about WHERE she thinks she will want to live.
Any points here?

Ping

Don't ask her about it. It's not really your business anymore. You want her out of the house then file for divorce and you guys get to live separately after that. If you aren't ready for that, just do option number 2 that LH19 provided.

[Mumin]

On mobile.
OK, very good points!
Been considering this after an earlier post here about how discussing assets lists and splitting of things like childpaintings is a good idea.
But I guess my stitch is passed that.

[Mumin]

Just spoke to W for a short while (before she headed of to the cabin for the night...)
Earlier she asked how I felt and I said I feel good.
Exchanges some corona dialogue and right before she was leaving I asked how do YOU feel?

She looked really happy in her face and let off a big sigh.
When she started speaking she was on the verge of crying and said last week was really tough.
So I asked why.
W - I thing I havnt let myself mourn/plain/grieve as much as you have. One needs to do that, and it is very heavy.
Me - Yes it is. I understand it is tough.
W - Saw some pictures, read some old things. Really tough.
Quiet for a long time.
Me - Don't know what to say.
W - I get that.
Some more words, then good night.

Feels like I shouldnt have asked her how she feels.. Sure didnt help me.
What is your take on this?

[LH19]

You should of just validated her crocodile tears.