Time to file? (Thanks BenB - part 2)

[ovrrnbw]

I live about an hour away from the "city". I stayed in town with friends during my sitch because we would be having a good time and that involved drinking. It had the plus of making my W wonder where I was and what I was doing. An Uber to take me home was $50+ so I never sprang for that.

IF I do not sleep at home it should ONLY be for purely logistical purposes.

You got it.

[Ready2Change]

However, it is a very good point to not delay the inevitable "fight".

Do not engage in arguments. Listen and validate. Be the first to leave. "I have things I need to do". Watching paint dry or whatever.

[Mumin]

Watching paint dry!

The gyms are closed due to Corona!

[Mumin]

On Tuesday is our anniversary. 12 yrs together.
I am not going to comment on it but there is a chance she does.
I have been seeing small changes in her behavior. Sending snaps of kids, commenting on things I post on SM.
So maybe she will say something. Should I reply in any way..?

[LH19]

M,

Why would you respond?

[Mumin]

Good question. Courtesy or integrity I guess.
But I guess she deserves none of that.

Seems like taking over mbr worked. She went straight out to the cabin after trying to talk to me. I listen a it but had things to do and I am not particularly interested in seeing pictures she took of her friends kids, our kids etc.
It like she is trying to just be normal with me. She could probably tell I wasn't very interested.
Anyway, she will probably be sleeping out there.
Makes me be responsible for kids at night but I get mbr to myself.

[Mumin]

Journal/update
Today W realized I had re-painted D1's room. (HOW ON EARTH has she not noticed????!)
First seconds/minute she seemed happy and impressed and asked me some things.
I was fixing more in the room and was busy so wasnt very attentive.
After a short while she angrily said "OH well!" and walked out.
She started cleaning out her wardrobe, threw 60% of her clothes (memory cleanse?) and moved most of her make-up to our second bathroom. (Yes we have a small house but for some reason there are still 2 bathrooms).
I came home late tonight (21:00) and saw her for like 5 minutes ,then she went out to the cabin again.
This actually fells ridiculous... Basically avoiding each-other.

Talked to some friends over dinner about whats happening. Said more than I should according to DB. Dumb but I guess I have a lot of anger and resentment built up.

[Mumin]

So just realized tomorrow is anniversary day.
She obviously isnt home and I sort of hope she will be commenting on it tomorrow. So I can NOT answer.

Having IC tomorrow, he thinks we should talk about If I want to live in a house or an apartment. Start conceptualizing things.

The title says time to file and I am thinking this thread of 100 posts might set the time for me to file. Maybe.
Not sure what my next DB move is now. She sleeps in the cabin now...
Any points on my next move? Ovr, Steve, LH, AS, R2C, Ben etc?

[ovrrnbw]

Your next move is to figure out who you are, work to become the person you really want to be, and stay mentally strong with a positive mental attitude.

I know you want to take action and wrap this up by yesterday but you can't. So you stay in the moment and make the best of this time.

I notice a bit of pain in your post:

She obviously isnt home and I sort of hope she will be commenting on it tomorrow. So I can NOT answer.

I certainly understand why you could be hurt, but remember to work on letting go of the past because you get to control your future.

[Mumin]

remember to work on letting go of the past because you get to control your future.

Wow, might put that on the wall!

I am def not taking action now, whats pushing me the most is actually the perfectly sized and situated house that is on the market. Perfect for the three of us.
Any tips on reading, actually havnt finalized DR since I started Reading No more mr Nice guy atm.
Also have a Jordan Peterson book but I think that is for later.
Seduction vs Attraction? Any tips? Art of seduction?

My biggest DB fail right now is talking to friends too much.
She shut everyone out so everyone keeps turning to me and they tend to ask several glasses of wine later...