I got left for OW after 30 years. He doesn't know that we all know and doesn't know I'm divorcing him. Has no idea S19 caught him.
He's one of those grumpy people, judgemental, and not all that fun to be around. Gets tired easily, works a lot, thinks money buys happiness. He was fun when it was something he wanted to do but that made me feel used (sex). Honestly it's not a huge loss having him gone but it bothers me monumentally that he's with OW. The kids miss their previous lifestyle but not him personally. It didn't have to be this way but I could never get him to see that. He blamed everything on me and walked out. It hurts.
It didn't have to be this way but I could never get him to see that. He blamed everything on me and walked out. It hurts.
It's a lot easier to walk out if you deny any responsibility. Common for the WAS. Just like it's common for the LBS to assume almost all the responsibility.
Spoke too soon. Couldn’t sleep and had nightmares. I feel terrible. My M wasn’t bad enough to throw away 30 years. It could have been fixed but instead he just moved on without warning. I miss everything and I’m triggering a lot these past couple of weeks. Going in to work late today. Trying to pull it together. I never thought he’d leave. I’m so sad and hurting.
I got hit with more work than I can possibly get done. I think it will last forever just like the pain of being a LBS will last forever. Sometimes no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise I feel like this is my life now. I think it comes from the part where I know I'm looking at years which seems like forever. How did ya'll stay grounded knowing you're looking at a long time to heal?
I got hit with more work than I can possibly get done. I think it will last forever just like the pain of being a LBS will last forever. Sometimes no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise I feel like this is my life now. I think it comes from the part where I know I'm looking at years which seems like forever. How did ya'll stay grounded knowing you're looking at a long time to heal?
kas,
That's the depression talking; it will literally kill you. You see no way out of your situation which triggers more fear and anxiety and everything spirals out of control. You've taken the first step forward, which is to get the appropriate medication. The other part is much harder; getting control of your negative thoughts. You will get through this but you just can't see that right now. Hang in there and get the help you need. This will pass.
Is there any way that you can delegate some of the work that has been assigned to you and your unit? Is there any way that you can go to your supervisor and advise him/her that you are unable to take on the additional work because you are attempting to get a handle on what you've already been assigned?
The pain that you are feeling as a LBS will not last forever. Right now, you are grieving for the loss of the relationship/marriage and it's going to take some time to move through the stages of grief. You are going to have good moments and then bad moments. It's like one step forward, two steps back. Eventually, you will be moving forward and not taking steps backwards. Feel the pain, allow it to wash over you and then release it. I know, that sounds crazy, but the only way to get through the grieving process is through it and not around it.
Try to focus on a second, then a minute, then an hour and eventually each day. Don't try to look too far into the future. Just focus on today and what you can accomplish today. Tomorrow will take care of itself in due time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
That's the depression talking; it will literally kill you. You see no way out of your situation which triggers more fear and anxiety and everything spirals out of control. You've taken the first step forward, which is to get the appropriate medication. The other part is much harder; getting control of your negative thoughts. You will get through this but you just can't see that right now. Hang in there and get the help you need. This will pass.
I've taken these meds before and despite doing well on them I did not want to take them again. The whole concept of "controlled substance" bothers me. My dr says cut the pills in half to keep the dose super low says there is no reason for me to suffer needlessly. I've only been taking them when I'm having a full on meltdown.
Your words make me want to cry because they are true.
