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Joined: Jul 2018
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TJT Offline
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*wave* *wave* *wave*

Catching up and I missed a ton in the middle but I've caught bits and pieces and now I jumped forward to here - just in time to agree and be equally inspired by the creation > destruction quote. (((HUGS)))

Since I have missed so much (sorry I'm not catching up more before replying, I'm just too eager to say hi) I can't exactly tell where you are emotionally but I do see you are doing SO much for yourself and I hope you are genuinely enjoying that. I know for me, especially when stuff was really hard, even the things you normally enjoy seem like chores or sure, you like it but you'd rather be liking it with someone, etc. etc. (actually, that last one is something I still struggle with).

You definitely seem like you are finding more of yourself and I am happy to see that.


H:39 W:30
M:4 T:9

05/2018: H says "ILYBNILWY", BD
07/2018: Discovered A, confronted
09/2018: PA + other details emerge; H moved out
12/2018: I filed
03/2019: Divorce finalized
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 685
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Yail Offline OP
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Holy wow! TJT, where've you been?

I'll have to start a new thread just so we can catch-up!

gosh, it has been so long I don't remember when we last spoke. Last spring/summer? Yes, the short version is this: I'm officially D (official date was just last month, but we've been truly separated for so long now), XW and I don't communicate. The house was sold, along with that action W filed so that financial settlement with the house would be wrapped up as part of the D. It was an amicable D, and we communicated only about logistics. That doesn't mean it was easy. I had anxiety every time I heard from her or the L, and I spent a long time grieving the fact that I needed to continue to let her go. She quietly stepped into the background. I have some assumptions about her life based on old information but I'm not sure it matters because I just as easily be right as I could be wrong.

My life itself is good. I have a nice (for now) apartment in my city that is very convenient. I am LOVING my job. I am growing in my job - especially socially. I'm really trying to be a social person and making new contacts and peers and friends. Focusing on the friend piece, as I have always been a small, tight knit circle kind of person. Slowly but surely making headway there.

Lots of cooking and focusing on homesteading practices. I need to find a farming adventure in the near future so I can learn more in that realm (also it's a cheaper way to vacation). My struggles these days are just being on a single earner household. Other than that, life is good.

Not actively looking to date yet, but slowly becoming more open to it. Not pushing myself, as I'd rather use my free time for other activities that push me into my new future. In short - I'm working it out. I'm building it. And I'm still working on peacefully and lovingly letting XW go, despite some anger and grief that still rears its Hydra heads.

And you? How are YOU? Are you D? Do you have contact with your WAS? What is your focus these days?

If it's easier for you to post in your own thread I'll keep an eye out for it.

Time for a new thread. Here we go:



This IS your normally scheduled life

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