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^^^^^^^^^ These are the type of post that show me you are growing through this ^^^^^^

Keep focused on your growth and things will keep getting better.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Well wolf it very simple but you always have to make things complicated. If your biggest fear is being alone then learn to be alone and ok with it. Then when your in relationship you can be yourself and not becoming needy and insecure and try to placate women because that becomes a complete turn off.

Interesting that your GF went from treating you like a king a month ago to a pain in the butt. I feel like in the last year and a half you haven't learned anything. Time to roll up your sleeves.

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Originally Posted by LH19
Well wolf it very simple but you always have to make things complicated. If your biggest fear is being alone then learn to be alone and ok with it. Then when your in relationship you can be yourself and not becoming needy and insecure and try to placate women because that becomes a complete turn off.

Interesting that your GF went from treating you like a king a month ago to a pain in the butt. I feel like in the last year and a half you haven't learned anything. Time to roll up your sleeves.


It’s funny you say all that. My GF talks about how confident and at times stubborn that I don’t give in to her all the time. I have learned to compromise better than I did before. But don’t give in to her every need. I know acting needy and insecure around women is a complete turn off. I am not like that around my GF, at all. My GF is beautiful and yet she is worried about me leaving her. Or another woman stealing me. LH I have learned a lot. I’m sure it doesn’t seem like it. I have learned about validating feelings. Man has that been a wonderful skill to learn. Granted at times I fall off that wagon but I use it most of the time. I have really learned to look through the eyes of my partner and understand what they are truly feeling. I still have a long way to go but I am so much better. I wish I came to this site before the breakdown of my marriage. But it is what it is.
My GF is a flight attendant and just asked me 2 nights ago if I wanted to go to Brazil with her. I said sure. So we are going to Brazil on Saturday. I am excited and nervous because I hear mixed things about over there.
LH I appreciate you always being here for me and hitting me with your 2x4’s. I know it doesn’t seem like it helps but it does
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Originally Posted by Ready2Change
^^^^^^^^^ These are the type of post that show me you are growing through this ^^^^^^

Keep focused on your growth and things will keep getting better.


Thank you. I am trying to understand my flaws and improve upon them.


M:42 XW:41
T:19 M: 15
D:13 S:10
BD: 8/10/18
Moved out: 8/18
Moved in: 9/18/18
Moved out: 4/22/19
D papers signed 11/4/19
D final 3/18/20
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Boy am I a glutton for punishment. You just said 11 hours ago that we are all right and your girlfriend needs to grow up and you need to learn to be alone and now you are off to Brazil. Are you going to take the free trip and then dump her? I’m sorry you come here look for validation and I’m not giving it to you. I’m gonna call you on your BS. I’m pretty sure you are a narcissist. I know first hand because my father is one. Talk to your IC about it.

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Originally Posted by LH19
Boy am I a glutton for punishment. You just said 11 hours ago that we are all right and your girlfriend needs to grow up and you need to learn to be alone and now you are off to Brazil. Are you going to take the free trip and then dump her? I’m sorry you come here look for validation and I’m not giving it to you. I’m gonna call you on your BS. I’m pretty sure you are a narcissist. I know first hand because my father is one. Talk to your IC about it.


You are right I did say she needs to grow up. But I never said I didn’t want the relationship. I look at it this way. No one is perfect. Is she immature right now? Yes. But there are so many great qualities that we share, both into fitness, same idea on intimacy, she loves to cook, we both like an neat and clean home, she is very honest and loyal, she is always so interested in my mom and kids, I love to show her affection, and making sure I speak her love language. As far as the alone part. IF we break up, then, yes, I would want to be alone for a while. No dating just focusing on myself and my kids. But I do want the relationship. She is young and hopefully over time she will mature. Oh and I am paying for the airfare for Brazil and Splitting the room. Maybe my last post was not clear. I want to be with my GF, I just want to slow it down and not have her move in so fast. But if things for some reason didn’t work out I would NOT BE JUMPING into another relationship. I would be alone. That’s fine that you call me out. I’m not looking for validation I always s want the truth even if it hurts.


M:42 XW:41
T:19 M: 15
D:13 S:10
BD: 8/10/18
Moved out: 8/18
Moved in: 9/18/18
Moved out: 4/22/19
D papers signed 11/4/19
D final 3/18/20
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You still want your wife, but you have a gf, one day she’s great, another day she’s too immature, another day you are going on vacation with her, and if you break up you will work on being alone.

You are all over the board . You don’t know which end is up! You take what you can get from whom will give it to you.

It’s really not fair to a lot of people. Including yourself.

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[/quote]
The meaning is both. I think she sees changes but doesn’t want to acknowledge it, also I feel she loves drama and is always looking for something. I just show I am not that person anymore, or at least trying to be understanding and calm yet indifferent with ex.
I think it’s good she sees these changes but it’s way to early to mean anything to her. I think it went well. [/quote]

What are you hoping this would mean to her? I thought you were over her? This was Feb 3rd

Agree with LH and Ginger.

I also find it interesting that you say if this relationship doesn't work out you will NOT BE JUMPING into another. Why not? Are you not ready? Do you need time alone? If so, why are you with this girl now?

[/quote]
I hope one day she “wakes” up, I just hope it’s not too late and I no longer want her.[/quote] You said this Feb 10th - is it all of a sudden too late now?

Come on Wolf...


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[/quote]
She is much younger than me and immature. This is only starting to come out. So my feelings for my GF are disappearing. [/quote]

Disappearing...so let's go to Brazil. Maybe these travels will make my EW jealous and she'll realize what she's missing???


H 37
W 31
S 2

T: 7
M: 4

BD 12/18
Separated 2/19
Living back together 04/06/2019
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
You still want your wife, but you have a gf, one day she’s great, another day she’s too immature, another day you are going on vacation with her, and if you break up you will work on being alone.

You are all over the board.

I am just saying what’s going on in my life at the moment, as far as the GF. I want o be with my GF, just saying what was going on. I can say it does look like my emotions are all over the board. I don’t want to break up with her. But if something did happen I would be single for a while. I usually jump from one relationship to another.

I know I said some things about my ex. But we are way to far gone and I don’t think I could go back to her. She has destroyed way too much. One thing that will not change is the family dynamic. I miss that. It has nothing to do with my ex. Meaning down the road I would hope to have a family again. Whether it’s just being with another woman and having my kids or starting a new family.

Originally Posted by Jac12
[/quote]
Disappearing...so let's go to Brazil. Maybe these travels will make my EW jealous and she'll realize what she's missing???

I am not doing this to make ex jealous. I’m going because I want to spend time with GF. If we weren’t going I would just be spending the time with her here.


M:42 XW:41
T:19 M: 15
D:13 S:10
BD: 8/10/18
Moved out: 8/18
Moved in: 9/18/18
Moved out: 4/22/19
D papers signed 11/4/19
D final 3/18/20
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 9,309
Likes: 283
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Originally Posted by Wolfman
we are going to Brazil on Saturday
Send me some coffee....or at least drink some and let us know how good it tastes....


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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