CW I'm so sorry for saying that to you. I regretted it but it was too late to take it back.
H is spiraling a bit. Can't get a handle on the bills, looking for a 3rd job, hasn't touched S19's car (the restoration project) in weeks, ignores D14's texts, and is just gone. All the time. Last night he went out looking at tattoos.
My court date is February 24th but my L is trying to get the judge to push it up given my situation. I feel dumb for bothering her. She's on top of things she just doesn't communicate unless she has to.
Tonight he’s at party at the big box store. He didn’t get the tattoo he’s so needy that he’s doing everything his idiot friend tells him to do. This guy has been pushing him to get one so he caved and went to look. Later he was up at 10:30pm FaceTiming his idiot friend. I know this because D14 texted me to complain. I’ll be so glad when she moves back in with me so I won’t have to listen to this drivel.
S19 says he’s worried H won’t be healthy enough to restore his car says H had painful knots in his back just driving to pick it up. Stressed much?
I’m ever ever so slightly starting to see him as just sad.
CW I'm so sorry for saying that to you. I regretted it but it was too late to take it back.
S'okay. I've spent hours of late thinking about being an ethical partner and I apologized to the nurse on Jan 15th. I've thought about which mistakes to own, and which ones to leave on them.
Originally Posted by kas99
Tonight he’s at party at the big box store. He didn’t get the tattoo he’s so needy that he’s doing everything his idiot friend tells him to do...
How's the start of your weekend going, kas? Got some good GAL activities lined up? I cancelled going on dates Sat/Sun morning and am going to walk local shores with my son to spot wildlife.
How's the start of your weekend going, kas? Got some good GAL activities lined up? I cancelled going on dates Sat/Sun morning and am going to walk local shores with my son to spot wildlife.
D14 is at a dance so that meant hair, makeup, spray tan, all those cute girl things. Lots of chauffeuring. I wanted to learn how to hang curtains and pictures but I'm overthinking the whole thing and couldn't do it. Got a bad case of perfection paralysis. The drill intimidates me and I can't decide where to hang which picture.
2. I didn't "give her" false hope. I stated clearly we were over. I now realize LBS often read a great deal into their WAS' decision not to complete a divorce, so in the same position I'd have completed it sooner.
This has me curious, what was your reason to not complete the divorce? As a LBS, I can say I very much see the decision not to complete the divorce as a sign the WAS is not actually committed to that decision. It would be very interesting to hear your perspective on that. Thanks!
This has me curious, what was your reason to not complete the divorce? As a LBS, I can say I very much see the decision not to complete the divorce as a sign the WAS is not actually committed to that decision.
This may be frustrating to hear--when I was a WAS, I didn't complete the divorce because it didn't matter. I had closure (I was 100% done when I filed) and an agreement about custody, child support, and alimony. There simply was no compelling reason for me to spend a weekend on paperwork.
It was lower on my priority list than digitally scanning the pile of fingerpainting from my son's pre-school year, or trimming the cherry blossom that occasionally scrapes my windows.
In a sense, it's true I wasn't committed to completing the divorce. At the same time, I ignored the letters my LBS sent me and actively dated with no intent to ever look back even as a backup plan.
That's why I said, "next time" I'd do it sooner, because I now see how much a LBS may read into it!
The one thing different with CW vs other WAS's is at least he filed. I didn't get closure until H cancelled the lease via email. Still had hope for years down the road until I found out about the OW. At that point I knew he was done. Filed the next day.
I've always been in awe of people who overcame huge adversity to go on to lead at least somewhat decent lives. The first name that comes to mind is Chris Gardner. He was the subject of the movie The Pursuit of Happyness. The movie was great (sugarcoated) but the real story told in his book is horrifying. Its so bad that I regret reading the book and I love books.
I have an opportunity to overcome and it feels wrong somehow. Like yay my H dumped me for OW but look how happy I am now. I don't want H to be happy - yet he's always been unhappy. What are the odds that he found bliss after dumping his entire family for OW?
