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Life goes on. I did it. I filed. It's everything H & I discussed on my terms. He'll be served tomorrow.

I talked to my father. Glad to feel strong enough to share with family. I'm not sharing the A/ow part.

And that's that. Tomorrow is another story.


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
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Ps- I have to share the moments leading up to the end.

This morning was do or die. I needed to see my lawyer asap before Hs flight. He had plans to do our taxes and was texting me at the crack of dawn, if I was up. Just a reminder, were in the same house. D3 was awake, and now I was. Soon MIL was. H was in the lvrm awake, and starts asking me expence questions. Interesting I thought. Why would you need that for taxes? He said that's what it's for. Interesting. So I complied, and used the expence sheet I prepared for lawyer. Why not right? As I'm doing this I pull out a black note book that I track our bills in. Been using this since 2013. H makes remarks like he's never seen it before! Intetesting. At some point H asks for a certain password for something. I pull out my mini black book and flip through and dont find anything.

We are all awake. Pancakes again at the request of D3. Of course H is over jolly to make them. I excuse myself and prepare to put my plan in motion. Emails back and forth to lawyer. I print off what I need to proceed, but cant fill them out. No time or privacy. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

H is very insistant that I take D3 to do something. I know I can, but I need to see my lawyer asap! Time is of the essance! It was a struggle to get D3 out the door, H suggested I take her to a park after our activity, which would delay me in a huge way. H said he was going to see tax guy.

I left the house & D3 and I compromised on just the park. I HAD to go to the bank asap. No sooner do I pull into the bank and H is texting then calling me for a certain bank password, because I know them all and he doesn't. I ignored text. He calls, "Why did you take your black book?" He never asked me to leave it. "I don't know any passwords. You have access to everything! I'll just go to the bank myself." I quickly text him the password. Then I high tail it out of the paking lot (safely of course) for fear he might see me. I need retainer fee for lawyer asap.

I take D3 to park after I get said funds. Tick-tock. I contact L via email (thank goodness for cell phones), All the while D3 is enjoying park time. I explained to L my difficult morning, & say I will be there asap, but need to get someone to watch D3. I didn't know if MIL was home.

We returned home, D3 asleep in car. I get her inside & to MIL. H is home. Interesting. What about the taxes? I breathe. I tell MIL I need to go. I try to leave & H tries to talk to me. I just ignored him & said I've got to go. H knew something was up, but not too sure. H was on his way out too. It's a small world & I prayed he wasnt headed my way. Our L buildings (shacks really) are in the same area.

I make it to my appointment & seal the deal. When I left the office I felt good. I only teared up once. This is business. I came prepared. My next move was to call my dad. We had a good heart to heart and he knows my plan.

Finally make it home. Hugs from D3 & MIL. We girls hangout. H texts both of us that he's bringing dinner home. And it was delicious. He says where he got it. Just happens to be in the same area as his L office. Interesting. He never made it to see tax guy. Just dropped off things to mail (I know about these).

Dinner was yum. H took D3 to the park alone & got ice cream. MIL & I hung out, did a crafty wall art thing in D3s room. Bedtime rountine by me, & stories by dad. The adults kicked back and a glass if wine & watched a funny show. I went to bed soon after. I work tomorrow.

What will tomorrow bring? D3 said she wants to come with me to work (she can; its great). MiL will do her thing & as for H? I havent a clue. Be at home or tax guy. Where he gets served no buddy knows.

I feel so sneeky doing what I did, but it was to protect myself. Not to be spitful. Just taken care of business.


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
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CanBird -

Good job on taking care of business. You did great. Don't let those feelings of being sneeky in. You are doing nothing wrong, just responding to events and protecting your rights.

Have you checked the bank accounts now that you know H needed to get into them in a hurry? Perhaps he was checking up on whether you took any money out. It seems like he was up to something there, for sure.

Take a deep breath now, and get on with your day.

(((CanBird)))

Grace


M: 56
H: 57
S: 22
D: 20

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Good Morning Can

That was a busy morning. I’m glad you got it all fit in.

I agree with you, H knows something is up. Our spouse know us better than probably anyone else, and likewise we know them. Just like you are wondering about the taxes H is doing.

Oh, and best not to lose your little black book.

Originally Posted by CanBird
I feel so sneeky doing what I did, but it was to protect myself. Not to be spitful. Just taken care of business.

Yes, I would expect those feelings. I’d be surprise if you hadn’t felt that.

You did well. You know you did the right thing; even if it does feel sneaky.

I am happy to see you told your family. And the nice heart to heart with Dad. As a father, when my daughter shares stuff about her life with me, good or bad stuff, I am so happy and proud of her. I don’t think that ever ends from a Dad’s perspective, even as their daughter get older and has her own child.

Originally Posted by CanBird
I have to share the moments leading up to the end.

End? Maybe.

The future is unknown and reveals itself as we move forwards.

Can, this is a new chapter in your book. Write and live it well.

We only write upon the pages of the present; leave the ending to the future.

DnJ


Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.
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You’re doing great Can.

Don’t feel guilty, you’re not being half as “sneaky” as he’s been.

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Sorry Can,

I know I’m being rather short which isn’t helpful at all, but your sitch (in particular) has really upset me.

(((Can & D3)))

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CanBird Offline OP
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Originally Posted by Grace21
CanBird -

Good job on taking care of business. You did great. Don't let those feelings of being sneeky in. You are doing nothing wrong, just responding to events and protecting your rights.

Have you checked the bank accounts now that you know H needed to get into them in a hurry? Perhaps he was checking up on whether you took any money out. It seems like he was up to something there, for sure.

Take a deep breath now, and get on with your day.

(((CanBird)))

Grace



Thank you Grace. I checked the one account he asked about. There is a large drop in funds.

I checked our other bank, where I opened my own account & nothing changed. He doesn't know the pws.


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 715
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CanBird Offline OP
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Originally Posted by DnJ
Good Morning Can

That was a busy morning. I’m glad you got it all fit in.

I agree with you, H knows something is up. Our spouse know us better than probably anyone else, and likewise we know them. Just like you are wondering about the taxes H is doing.

Oh, and best not to lose your little black book.

Originally Posted by CanBird
I feel so sneeky doing what I did, but it was to protect myself. Not to be spitful. Just taken care of business.

Yes, I would expect those feelings. I’d be surprise if you hadn’t felt that.

You did well. You know you did the right thing; even if it does feel sneaky.

I am happy to see you told your family. And the nice heart to heart with Dad. As a father, when my daughter shares stuff about her life with me, good or bad stuff, I am so happy and proud of her. I don’t think that ever ends from a Dad’s perspective, even as their daughter get older and has her own child.

Originally Posted by CanBird
I have to share the moments leading up to the end.

End? Maybe.

The future is unknown and reveals itself as we move forwards.

Can, this is a new chapter in your book. Write and live it well.

We only write upon the pages of the present; leave the ending to the future.

DnJ



Morning DnJ. I'll be holding onto my little black book tightly. I came across his cc passwords once, and the thought of knowing what he spends money on scared me. I decided knowing he had an A/ow was scary enough. There's so much more to this secret side of him. I'm seeing it more.

The end of the last chapter was me filing. The "end of the M".

The beginning of this chapter will start in a few hours when I wake up, although I've been restless for hours. D3 is join me at work today. Let's hope for an easy morning.


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
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You handled everything in such a great way. You weren't being sneaky at all. You had to do what you did in order to protect you and your daughter. Your h is in panic mode because he suspects that something is up. Whatever you do, do not back down on what you have set in motion.

Check the bank accounts asap today. Your h is getting ready to flee and he will not hesitate to take whatever funds he needs to get away and not tell you about it.

Now, breathe! Allow your lawyer to do the necessary work for you. This is a business deal that has gone sour and everything needs to be put in place to protect you and your child.

I am glad you decided to tell your father. You will need his support in the days ahead.

Take care of yourself and know that you have done absolutely nothing wrong. This mess is all on him and he needs to get his act together. He is losing a loving, kind and compassionate woman and always remember...you are the prize.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Originally Posted by Westo
Sorry Can,

I know I’m being rather short which isn’t helpful at all, but your sitch (in particular) has really upset me.

(((Can & D3)))



Thank you Westo for the (((hugs))). We'll be okay. I'm strong. And I have learned so much about myself. Moving forward is scary, but also exciting.

How will I survive? By wanting to. Making a plan. Accomplish one task at a time & more if I choose to.

This is my journey.


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
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