Hi everyone, my wife and I have been working through some issues that have probably been lingering far too long. Taking a growth mindset approach, we'd like to learn more about how to have a health marriage. Two part question:
1. Where do you go to find good blogs, books, online courses, workshops etc to help grow your marriage?
2. How do you pick the right ones to help with the core challenges?
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL).
DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
Hi everyone, my wife and I have been working through some issues that have probably been lingering far too long. Taking a growth mindset approach, we'd like to learn more about how to have a health marriage. Two part question:
1. Where do you go to find good blogs, books, online courses, workshops etc to help grow your marriage?
2. How do you pick the right ones to help with the core challenges?
Thanks in advance,
Hi Paul, it sounds like you're both actively working on the M? That's good, most people who come here are dealing with a spouse that is done and wants out. I would recommend you read Divorce Remedy or Divorce Busting. Also The 5 Love Languages is a great read. Check into Retrouvaille in your area, it is perfect for couples that are struggling but both interested in working on the M. Good luck!
AS is right on. Your sitch is unique as he points out because it sounds like your W is all in? Is that right? If so a good, pro-marriage MC may pay dividends as well. I'd also look at the books by David Schnarch. MWD herself has referenced him before. He writes a lot about couples recapturing intimacy and passion, and shares techniques to do that. His writing style is very in your face, the language is a bit crude at times, but I am sure I am on the far end of the people that would get offended by that kind of thing, most will be fine with it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I attended the PSI Basic Seminar years ago and gained many good relationship skills.
I don't believe there is a "right one". Just start digging through all the info and gather skills that work for you. What works for me may not work for you. But it might. I believe you both should focus on listening skills and selfless giving. Understand the other persons needs, then give them what they need. Go out and do things together. I do things with my lady that I don't enjoy, but I enjoy being with her and enjoy watching her do her thing. She will go fishing with me just to watch me enjoy doing it.
Best Regards,
R2C
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Are you aware that you can blog here and get valuable/sage advice from the posters? Also, you inquired about books, online courses, etc. You can actually schedule appointments with Michele's coaches that are on staff. If you go to the home page, you will discover that there is a store whereby you can view the different books, tapes, cds, etc. that Michele has that will assist you.
Unfortunately, as part of our agreement to come here and be members, we aren't allowed to post references to other sites, links, blogs, etc., unless they are related to this site or mentioned by Michele. After all, this Board is free and tied to Michele's Divorce Busting business.
If you aren't interested in what is offered here, then I would suggest you do some googling and searching that way.
However, if you opt to stay, you are more than welcome to post as much as you like and we have many, many posters who are always willing to listen, validate and assist however they can.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
