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What are the parts of you that you like?

LH19 #2881139 01/17/20 05:17 PM
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Originally Posted by LH19
What are the parts of you that you like?


I love my brain. The way I can see things and solve problems. How fast it works. I care about people. I might not bring flowers to someone in the hospital but I would make sure their bills got paid. lol At work (and at home) people like me because I don't stress when they make mistakes . I'm pretty laid back. I believe its all fixable and I don't want anyone to beat themselves up over mistakes that everyone makes. People think I'm cold but once they get to know me they say I'm really nice.

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I just get stuck in this hopelessness that I'm never going to feel better that my life is over and I wish I could die just to avoid all of this.

Last edited by kas99; 01/17/20 05:27 PM.
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i read two blogs from people who now make a living helping others and they too wanted to die so I'm not alone in these thoughts. I believe that these thoughts aren't connected to the present I believe they are connected to my past. It's PTSD stuff from my childhood. I'm in IC but I'm told I can't talk my way out of this I have to go through it. I have to take action but it feels like walking through quicksand. I have moments when I laugh and I feel good about myself but they are moments, minutes, sometimes a few hours, I come here begging to be reassured that this won't last forever.

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I think I just wondered can I change? Sigh guess I won't know until I try and refuse to give up.

In other good news I'm keeping an eye on the rental market because 4 bedroom rental houses are hard to come by. Yes my lease won't be up for 8 months but I like to watch patterns. Last time I was in a rush and had to rent the first thing I could get this time I can be a bit more picky. Anyway there are more houses to pick from now so my next house will be great. I promised all 3 they could shop with me unlike last time when it was just me.

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Kas, any idea why he hasn't been served yet? I'm really surprised, in other D cases I've seen the papers were served within a week or two. Hasn't it been over a month?


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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Originally Posted by AnotherStander
Kas, any idea why he hasn't been served yet? I'm really surprised, in other D cases I've seen the papers were served within a week or two. Hasn't it been over a month?


Filed 2 months ago. I was told they were backed up due to the holidays and that the summons probably wouldn't be ready until January. Left a message for my attorney but she didn't respond.

I'm overspending $300 a month after support. How long will it take to get temporary support?

Last edited by kas99; 01/18/20 07:12 PM.
kas99 #2881289 01/18/20 07:37 PM
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If I file married filing separately I will owe $1k. I can live with that. If he files separately he will owe A LOT of money. A lot, a lot....A LOT of money.

Do I do it? I do not want to file taxes with him.

Last edited by kas99; 01/18/20 07:38 PM.
kas99 #2881304 01/18/20 09:41 PM
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It depends what your motivations are ...

If you want to file on your own because you want to stand on your own two feet, then you should. If you want to file on your own because you are the kind of person who likes to get these things out of the way early and he is dragging his feet, then you should. If you want to file on your own because he is a sh!t dad and would only spend the money on himself (and not the kids) then you should.

But, if you are filing on your own as some sort of punitive punishment / revenge, then you shouldn't. If you are filing on your own, and the money he would have saved would have gone on your kids, then you shouldn't. If you are filing on your own because you think that this will make him realise he was better of with you, then you shoudn't.

and lastly ... if you file together because you are trying to 'nice' him back, then you should definitely file on your own.

One set of reasons are about it being better for you. The other is about it being worse for him.

But that's just my 2 cents. Others may disagree. You may disagree.

Last edited by FlySolo; 01/18/20 09:41 PM.

W40 (me), H40
M14, Together 16
D12, D9

BD Oct 17
Moved out Mar 18

kas99 #2881323 01/19/20 01:42 AM
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Fly

I want to file on my own because dealing with him is bad for my health.

Last edited by kas99; 01/19/20 01:48 AM.
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